She needs to be the one to take the steps to better her life… If she won’t do it then she is not done or tired enough to change it… In that instance you just become the bad guy… She takes his side to save him and you end up looking like a fool and angry… She needs to turn it in… She needs to step up and save herself. Because sometimes people don’t want saved
Physical abuse is not the only form of abuse, him flushing her meds is DEFINITELY abuse! She needs to repotlrt him to command, pack her & the kids stuff, and get as far away from him as possible- if not for her own sake for the sake of her children!
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LEAVE his ass. Plain and simple thats bologna
That’s abusive. If you can go get them all or help her change the locks and get a restraining order while he is gone. He sounds scary
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she can go get a damn refill, it’s been a month. Hide them
Thats illegal asf, get him charged…and if hes in the navy tell his commanding officer or who ever he reports too that he is abusive towards his lady…she needs to leave him, cause the abuse is getting worse
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Abuse to the children can and should be reported to CPS. You can’t force her to leave him but knowing that you are an option for her, that its not hopeless, is a good thing. It would be great if she filed for divorce while he’s gone, but she may not be ready to do that. She needs to know that her sanity and the mental/physical well being of her kids could be negatively affected by her staying with him. Im sorry, this sounds very stressful.
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Get in touch with her doctor ( she will need to sign permission for you to be Able to speak to her dr due to Hippa law ) . She needs her meds immediately. Many antidepressants leave the blood stream immediately. She needs to get into therapy ASAP . Have her see a psychiatrist and a psychologist both ! In her discussion with the psychologist, it will come out how he is treating her and the kids and they will advise her as a neutral party . This will be best for all involved
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Report to his command, they do not put up with matters like this! He better get some act right quick👀
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Go with her to a counselor while he is gone
Sounds like she needs to flush the relationship down the toilet. Maybe he’s the one causing her depression in the first place.
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If she won’t do anything about it, chances are they will both just get mad at you for interfering. Hopefully you can get her to open her eyes to how dangerous that situation really is so she will act.
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Their relationship sounds pretty toxic and unless your sister wants your help, there is nothing that you can do.
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Since its been 30 days she can refill then now. She needs to get a med lock box. She should’ve called the cops on him and filed a report on him she could’ve gotten her meds that way.He sounds like a piece of crap she needs to move on
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She needs to call the cops and leave him.
Withholding medication is a form of PHYSICAL ABUSE
He is literally ABUSING her and her children
Call the cops, call a domestic violence center, call cos, and contact his commanding officer
DO 
NOT LET THE ABUSE CONTINUE
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I need to amend my previous statement. Since they aren’t married, her personal resources are not through the military system. Any abuse verbal or physical towards the children needs to be reported to their PCM who should be the one to report to command. She should not go to command directly herself as it will likely go unheard as she is not a spouse.
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This behavior needs to be reported to his command. (I’m a Veteran myself and commands take things like this very seriously!) You can also let them know that you fear for your sisters safety after this report has been made - if you do. There are a few ways to contact his command, you can google the base and look for a public contact to direct you. You can try the American Red Cross to help direct you…that is if your sister doesn’t know how.
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Support her, but know until she chooses to leave you can’t make her. But watch the kids for bruises and report
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Until she’s ready to get out of this relationship there’s not much you can do
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He’s tearing her down and stripping her of her worth, he is also mentally abusing her, if he that whole relationship is bad news, explain to her that she will be happier away from him, starting over obviously won’t be hard but he cannot flush her medication down the toilet or sink, your sister is in a bad situation and she needs your help! She won’t say she needs your help as I was once in her situation, her kids are going to be emotionally and mentally scared if she doesn’t do something as my son still remembers his dad and I fight and yell when he was 4 , when his dad got angry at me and broke the tv with a remote and he is 7 now the trauma stays and it will stay with her as it has with me I’m slowly putting it in the past now
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Make it clear to her that her babies will be next (if not already) to be abused. When those nephews are old enough to talk back they will be hurt badly by this “man”. Hopefully then she will think for a minute and get out of that relationship w all of their lives safe. Good luck!
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You said her partner hits your child? Gimme his name…I’ll put a stop to that in about 2 minutes.
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She should call the prescribng Doctor and replace Her meds. Then She needs to pack up and move in with You . She should file for divorce and NEVER GO BACK !
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Report to commanding officer he will be in the brig faster that you think. They don’t tolerate child abusers in the militsry
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She needs to tell her doctor. It’s stealing & medical abuse. She needs to leave him. This abuse & control is going to keep getting worse.
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If hes not there, pack her stuff and leave.
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Oh no you need to report this to cas he’s abusing the kids too??? Like what
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She needs to get out while he’s gone.It will only get worse.
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I ask that everyone one here says a prayer for this young lady and her children tonight. Thank you all
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If she has still has refills left on her meds she can call her pharmacy and see if they can fill it again a lot of insurances have a lost or stolen medication override but the a pharmacist or pharmacy tech has to call the insurance
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Since its been 30 days she should be due for a refillI but if he ever does it again, file a police report. She will be able to get an emergency refill after that with proof of the police report. This happened to my grandma with a family member and that is how she got hers fixed, it was the only way even though she didnt want to do it. It is technically theft as they did not belong to him. He had no right to even touch them let alone flush them.
Tell her to change the locks while he is gone, maybe even change her address and get out of there
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When she kills his ass, she can get away with it! It’s his fault for flushing the meds that keep her sane!
If its been a month, wouldn’t it be time for a refill?
I understand some places do 90 day supply, but usually not with antidepressants as they should be monitored by a Dr.
He doesn’t care about her if he’d flush medication she takes not knowing what it would do to her to stop abruptly
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She needs to contact pharmacy and her Dr also smoke or take cbd delt 8 gummies to help
And Leave him
Thats basically stealing her meds and with some medicine its a felony charge
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WOW- there are meds that you CANNOT go cold turkey on. You have to taper. Meds like Lexapro, Zoloft, Cymbalta, anticonvulsants (sometimes prescribed for mood), lithium, antipsychotics, bipolar meds, skitzophrenea (sp) and similar. Call her doc and tell them what happened and get their help in getting her more meds. Maybe her refill is up. Ultimately it is her decision to take the meds but the downward spiral needs to be avoided as best as you possibly can do even some CBD can hold
Her over. Best of luck. Have her see a counselor to talk through what to do with the husband and get their advice on how to bring in the police if needed. Again. Good luck.
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You say he works on naval ships, you & your sister can make a complaint to the navy but im not sure were you live or what the appropriate actions are but look up how to make a complaint, just remember you will most likely have to have recorded evidence as to how the husband is treating your sister, the navy have to take the complaint seriously.
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Call the pharmacy and tell them that you lost your prescription. Most of the time they will refill it as long as it is not a controlled substance.
Please encourage her to leave for her & your nephews sake. That behavior will damage them all in traumatic ways. I know, I lived in a bad marriage in the past.
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She is being mentally abused.He has her beat down and it will not change until she leaves…Been their and it took me losing everything before I felt better…Letting my abuser go…I was beat down so bad’my only daughter quit coming around…I felt like if I stood by him I could change his awful ways.I could not…I now see how bad it was but no one else saw it…Hateful and… abusive to me only…Now I love being single…Never Again will I allow any man to disrespect me…
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Back in the dark ages, I was living in another country.military. He had gotten so possessive over time. It came to the point that, I needed to go back to the states. I went to speak with the captain in charge of the small base we were at. He had hit and choked me. One time, then I was leaving. The Captain and an even higher up officer, got my paperwork fast tracked. I bet if you reached out to them, they would help you. G
help her file for divorce while he is gone, and also a restraining order when he comes back. Do it while he is gone, maybe he will go ballistic and end up in a military jail.
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That’s dangerous for her to stop meds like that. Deff report it, I feel bad for her 
Seems like he wants control over her. Maybe you can go to the Dr with her and tell the Dr what’s happening
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sisters boyfriend flushed her meds, what can I do?
You sound like such a wonderful sister.
Be there for her and just try and check in to make sure she has her medication back
As for him one why is he throwing it and two why even more so when he’s not there to help her and help with the children
Good riddance for a few months I’d say
Hope all works out
Just be there like you are already doing 
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sisters boyfriend flushed her meds, what can I do?
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Nurse speaking ~ it’s actually very dangerous to abruptly stop antidepressants. We are talking about brain chemistry. There’s a huge process of weaning down to change or stop medication.
She needs to tell her doctor and let them know what happened.
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If she’s not willing to leave him there’s nothing you can do. She’s allowing his behavior for a reason (I mean if she said “he flushed them so I have no choice” it doesn’t really sound like she does much thinking for herself as common sense would say to call the doctor for a refill). Until she’s ready to get out of a crappy relationship nothing you can say or do will make a difference. Too bad because those kids are going to grow up with the same lack of confidence she has and will believe that this is how you treat women 
. If she has daughters, they will allow men to treat them this way, if she has sons, they will treat women this way. Sounds like they could both benefit from some counseling if they have so little respect for each-other that they are even a little bit abusive.
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she has to want to help herself and her kids. of you report and she doesn’t want to leave him be prepared that she will cut you out of her life too
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Support her however you can emotionally and be making preparations to take custody of the kids in case of an emergency. She has to put them first, but be ready to take them if there are problems. 
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I would call the cops you forcibly threw away her medication that she needs for her health so he is endangering her health being and also for giving your child more than a spank only parents can spank their kids, any kind of in-law Mom Dad brother or sister cannot do it they need to tell the parent of the child
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This is domestic violence/abuse 100%. Just because he doesn’t hit her doesn’t mean it isn’t. Get her to your nearest YWCA. They can supply her with the help she needs from protection to just counseling & ways to cope. They are truly amazing. You (sadly) alone will not be enough for this situation. Sounds like she needs an army and the YWCA is just that. Get her there asap to get her talking to someone especially if she is supposed to be on prescribed medication. They can also help her get that script refilled. Good luck! I hope her the best. Just remember to always be there for her & support her, no matter what you say or do she won’t leave until SHE has had enough. Also, our justice system is broken when it comes to these types of situations so proceed cautiously if you decide to try that route. Things could go better for her or it could make it 100% with retaliation.
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I stayed for the baby. Until I was no longer pregnant and the baby became the target. My mind changed instantly when I realized I wasn’t just protecting myself anymore. She was only 3 weeks old, but I walked out and never looked back… Because I had a support system. Anyone in an abusive situation is making pros and cons lists daily in their head and even when the pros outweigh, the cons of staying win until we feel we can make the pros work.
She needs a support system. That can’t be just you, it needs to be a real system. She needs a medical professional to help her get back on meds, go through therapy, and find a balance in health because that’s going to strengthen her the most, even though many see this as a last step towards ending abuse, it should be a first. She needs babysitters, and resources for financial aids for an attorney, housing, food, and essentials. And she’s definitely going to need her sisters strength, inspiration, and motivation to move on and become whole again. You can’t do this alone, but you can help by finding all this information and helping her get the resources.
People rarely discuss what holds someone in an abusive relationship and even after, for a time, they’ll say love or security. But the only honest answer is often a support system they can count on. Praying for your family. 
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She needs to get out, I’d support her however you can. If he’s active duty his BAH would go to her if they separate and get divorced, but his chain of command would need to know. So she wouldn’t be leaving with no hope of money
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That is a very unhealthy relationship on both sides especially if they are pushing and shoving each other. She needs to leave while he’s gone. And the abuse needs to be reported. Can she stay with you?
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She can get herself a cps case bc she’s not leaving him
And he’s abusing their son. Mention to her she can lose custody of her child bc she’s putting up with this abuse. He’s also not supposed to be abusive towards her when their child is present either. Keep talking with her and encouraging her this is not what she wants for her child!
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Get her and those babies away from that man while he’s gone!!
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Pushing & shoving IS physical abuse & it only escalates. Unfortunately you can’t force someone to leave an abusive relationship until they are ready. And if you point out his faults/abusive behavior by nature she will defend him. Reword your statements like “he’s such a great dad” or “isn’t he a good husband?” so that SHE corrects your statements with how he’s NOT. Letting her say the things that make him bad for her will help her start realizing it vs her going into defense mode for him.
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Pushing and shoving is physical abuse. His behavior is controlling for sure. She has the right to make her own Medical decisions. She will need emotional support without judgement. Statistically women attempt to leave several times before successful and the abuser is never more dangerous than when he feels he’s losing control.
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That’s abusive and negligent since most antidepressants you can’t just stop! If she has a medical condition I’d be very afraid of her staying with someone who acts like this and plays Google doctor with her health
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She needs to get her meds straightened out and you need to put on your protective sister pants and sit down with her and open her eyes to the stuff you know about and try to help her get out. Any abuse is horrible and worth leaving over. Flushing her meds? Thats fucked. He’s gotta go.
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I would report him to his supervisor he can definitely get in trouble for his actions especially being in the armed forces
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She needs to call her doctor and tell her doctor exactly what happened. They should be able to call in another script. Most times with these types of medications they have no problem calling in a new script. If it was a pain medication, benzo, or controlled substance then that’d a problem, but just a regular antidepressant they will call in a new script.
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I’ve taken antidepressants off and on but if it’s been a month she’s likely on the uphill. I always stop cold turkey and know it can’t always be safe but many times drs abruptly take them off too. I’ve had both happen to me and I’ve had to deal. I was just going to comment to reassure that she’s likely uncomfortable but will be fine. If he’s flushing them then he’s being abusive. Mental illness is there just as much as a horrible disease would be, and I would hope that he wouldn’t take cancer meds away from a patient either. She needs to be forthcoming and honest with her dr and they can help with resources to get her out of that, but she has to want it. Also I’ve had to take anti-anxiety meds in the past that are controlled and once someone stole them. I didn’t get a refill because I was only issued it monthly and that was all I could do.
Ummm at this point more concerned about the 2 yr old being hit (more then spanked),verbally, and emotionally abused. Let’s just add to that a mom who is not taking her antidepressants. Come on report this! Nothing good is gonna come out of the situation. Kids don’t have a voice so be that voice for them.
My heart goes out to you, and her and her family.
I would agree that all you can do is offer advice and help be the support system that she has always been for you. You can tell her what you would do, but know that her decisions are hers to make. I would recommend she go see her doctor as some medications shouldn’t just abruptly be stopped.
Sending all the positive vibes to all of you.
Ask her if she would allow some random person treating her or her kids like this. Would she ever think to do this as well? He has progressively gotten worse and it is scary to think how far he will go if he continues on this path. She needs to know her worth and if anything think of her kids and she knows how parents can effect the children through behavior. If she doesn’t choose to listen say you will have to call for help for the kids sake. Cps would not approve of this behavior and that should be a red flag in itself
Being in an abusive relationship cam break a person. She needs an exit plan. I highly recommend Tina Swithin, her books and blog etc were my lifeline when I was divorcing my abusive ex. Along with a good trauma informed therapist.
Step 1: GO GET HER NOW!
Step 2: She needs to report her husband to his command that he’s being abusive.
Step 3: she needs to file a restraining order, press charges and file for full legal custody.
Do it now while he’s gone. It’ll make it easier.
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Unfortunately she needs to be ready herself . There is nothing that can be done unless she takes the steps to do them herself . It’s a harsh reality but nothing you can say or do will make her want to leave him and get herself better unless she really really wants to leave that situation . and yes we all know easier said then done but when she is really done she will be . I pray that is doesn’t get worse before she decides to leave .
First of all you can’t do much. If she stays with a man like this, then clearly it’s what she wants! Nothing will change until she wants it to.
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Report the abuse to CPS. Apparently your sister is more like your mother and worships the ground this man walks on over herself and kids.
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I am a nurse and this is definitely a form of abuse. She needs to call her MD let them know what happened and report him. If she doesn’t they definitely will.
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You can’t see it when you’re in it, how bad it is. Everyone on the outside can see it, but when you’re in the eye of the storm, you can’t.
As her family you need to intervene. Report. Get it on paper.
Women are the ones who don’t make it out. Sometimes kids too. Violence may start verbal. But it is only a matter of time before it escalates.
I’ve seen so many deaths now due to domestic violence. Too many. Do whatever it takes to get them away from him. If you want them to stay alive. All it takes is once. One shove too hard. One punch. That’s it.
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I am a nurse- this is very dangerous. mental health is no different from someone having diabetes or a heart condition. You wouldn’t flush a diabetics insulin or a heart patients meds down the toilet so there’s no excuse for him to do that. She needs to see a doctor immediately
You can’t cold turkey of any anti depression med you become at higher risk for suicide her spouse may not have realized that’s abuse but it’s also medical neglect and mental health neglect n abuse . Report it to her Dr. Her dr. Can get her prescription re filled .
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If you have witnessed him abusive to your nephew then it’s your responsibility to call authorities to protect this defenseless child . You and your sister need to come up with a plan and get her the help ( medication, restraining order , shelter etc ) .
I would class that as controlling! Very controlling! And pushing and shoving, IS ABUSE! He sounds like a right ass! Unfortunately speaking from experience unless she is ready to take those steps, she wont! For the sake of her and the kiddies just support her! She needs to know what would happen after if she did leave him! Masses of reassurance will be needed because for someone to take those steps, The not knowing what would happen is scary! Finances, home etc… But if she leaves She MUST MUST not leave those kiddies alone with him at any point what so ever! Hope things work out x
You could physically drive her to her doctor so she can get the medication refilled. This is abuse! I feel so sad for her but glad you are looking out for her. Can you talk to her bf? Tell him the dangers and come up with a plan to help her wean off WITH a doctors assistance and guidance. This bf must take a personal affront to her taking antidepressants, what a lousy person.
I’ve been without my meds for only 24 hours before and I was in absolute bits physically and mentally so I can only imagine what your lovely sister has been going through. The physical symptoms are horrendous for some meds! Electric shock sensations in my head, visual and audio hallucinations, sweating and shaking and more. Ah it’s awful!
I really do hope your sister manages to find enough courage to start the process of standing up to her partner as his behaviour is not acceptable in any way💔
Sending lots of love and strength 
The best thing you can do is be there for her. If she wants to get better, she needs to make the decision to leave on her own. I know it sucks to just sit back and watch someone you love go through hard times, but they’re the only ones who can make the change.
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First of all, she can to to ER and get them to give here a prescription maybe because she needs her meds. Then she needs to write this creep and tell him not to come back as she will not see him again. My daughter was with a guy like that and took her meds and gave her the ones he thinks she should have and over a few months took them away and another new one. Long story short, she ended up a heroine addict and had to go to detox. He went to jail until court hearing for choking her, beating her, raping her etc etc etc. Court found him not guilty and he walks free with restrictions to stay away from her. I wish she could afford to move as this man is dangerous and so is your sister’s boyfriend. She needs to get back on her meds, move on from him and better her and her kids chance of happiness.
She needs to run for the hills and get away from him if hes getting progressively worse with abusing her and the kids it won’t stop and taking something she needs away from her is not okay get her away from him fast
Ive experienced coming off meds abruptly and it is very dangerous! Maybe you can convince her to explain to her doctor and go with her and the abuse too. This sounds like a very toxic abusive relationship so just encourage and be there for her, shell get out when shes ready. Hopefully sooner than later.
Manipulation is a very dangerous thing. Clearly he is manipulative and controlling. Try to get her support group. Keep boosting her self esteem. Give her positive energy. Maybe buy her a book she can read that pertains to her situation. Stay by her side and just keep helping her. She needs to step up and claim her life back, but may take time.
Sounds like he may be developing some sort of PTSD… she needs to work on getting some sort of help while he is gone…
She may not need the meds, she may just need to get rid of him. For good… and just co-parent.
However, abruptly stopping anti-depressants isn’t healthy or recommended. I’d tell her to call her Doc to get a script so she can wean off… IF SHE feels she needs to.
There are a couple of antidepressants that you can’t just stop, without serious side effects, she needs to contact her MD and ditch the BF
You gotta help her realize the situation she’s in is messed up and potentially dangerous for her children. If her husband is in the military and that’s why he goes overseas, then she can actually seek help from them. They generally (not all 100% of the time but mostly in my experience) hold them to certain standards when they’re married. If she can’t get help from them or that’s not the case she could also talk to a social worker at her primary care probably and they could connect her with programs to help as well. Sending blessings to you and your sister’s families. Hope everything gets sorted
She needs to leave him, but she has to want to leave. My guess is she feels no one else will love her. Probably because he has told her that so many times she has started to believe him. That’s part of throwing the medication away. It keeps her off balance making her easier to manipulate. She needs to see a real man does not treat his partner that way.
She should leave
that happened to
me last year. I left for good no one has the right
she needs to leave.
Pushing and shoving IS abusive! Report him to his supervisor, and if she doesn’t get a restraining order and leave him there’s nothing you can do.
Get her some help. If not for her for your nephews. Accidents happen. You take those meds for a reason. I’m not saying the kids are in danger but we’ve all heard stories of what depression can do
unfortunately there’s not really anything you can do other than be supportive. it’s ultimately her choice as to whether she stays in this abusive and toxic relationship. She should be protecting her children as well as herself and if she allows this loser to treat her children this way then those children are in danger and IMO should be placed with Family/friends until she can get help for herself.
She needs to get separated , well more months from him. Separation. Not allowed back in house . He needs to change . He’s not even around to help with house and kids . Eventually with that situation best divorce . Peace of mind . Help her .
I dont have any advice, I am in the same boat and so just give her a big supportive hug from me. And be there for her.