My daughter is getting married soon, and my sister, her husband, and her son are invited. She also has an older son, whom the dad has custody of (my sister has always chosen her husband over her son, she’s not really in her nephew’s life) My daughter n my nephew love each other very much, so do I like if he was my son, and he is also a groomsman…the issue is that his dad and his family will also attend. His dad has been my best friend since before my nephew was born (he’s 17, and his dad n my sister met thru me) I have always looked out for my nephew, and he loves me like a mom because my sister doesn’t care too much about him and she also has not been in our lives a lot. She always chooses her husband over us, including our mom. Well, she’s doing it again! Her husband has never accepted my nephew, even though my sister and her husband have been together for 15 years. That’s why she’s never really around my nephew, but she doesn’t want her husband to get mad. When she does visit, he goes with her and with a long face and only allows her a few minutes n then tells her it’s enough time. My nephew has never been allowed in her house except once, and he ended up being kicked out because he was playing w his brother’s toys. So now my sister says if only my nephew goes, it’s ok but not his dad or his family. She said that if they go, she won’t. My daughter wants both families to go, but if she had to choose, she chooses her cousin and his family. She loves them very much and sees how wrong her aunt is, but my sister is trying to guilt-trip her into how she and her family are more important… it’s her son and his dad! How are we supposed to tell my nephew it’s ok for him to come but not his family? I don’t think it’s right. I don’t wanna lose my sister, but I know what she’s doing is not right…at least that’s what I believe?
You worded this so weird. Making it hard to even understand who is who. 🤦🏻
It’s terrible to be put in this situation. If you have to choose…choose the people you are closest to. The ones that will make the wedding more enjoyable
Bottom line its your daughters wedding she can invite who ever she wants there Your sister has no say in the matter.
Its your daughter’s wedding have her invite everyone she wants to and if some choose not to attend that’s on them, and don’t discuss the guest list with anyone other than the wedding party because they are the only people that matter in this scenario
What’s the dilemma?? I couldn’t understand any of it 
Your sister is a grown adult and this is NOT her wedding. The nephew is a groomsman so he deserves to be there. If she is making demands than she needs to stay home. It sounds like she is selfish and only thinks of her immediate family. Don’t make this a big deal because that will take away from the wedding. Give tour daughter the day she deserves and dont worry about people who wouldn’t do the same for you. Good luck!
You had lost me by the second line ! Literally no clue what is going on - but hope you get it all sorted !
Its your daughters wedding. Dont let people guilt you onto what they want on her day. Of she wants her cousin and his dad then invite them. If your sister doesnt approve oh well.
Its your daughters wedding not your sisters. Its about your daughter and her soon to be husband and what they want. The hell with everyone else.
Idk how it’s confusing, it’s all pretty clear lol. Let your daughter have who she wants. If your sister wants to be a little baby about it, tell her that’s fine, don’t come. You’re calmer than me, had that been my family member, I would have blown up on them. It is about your daughter not them. Your sister and her husband don’t have to sit near her own son and his dad. That’s really fucking sad honestly. I feel for your nephew.
It’s your daughters wedding she should invite who she wants. If people don’t come it’s up to them. However… To be honest I would be pissed if my brother when getting married invited my ex and was close to my ex. I wouldn’t make a stink but I wouldn’t be close with my brother or go to his wedding. Your sister is remarried and honestly probley stays away cause you are best friends with her ex. As I would stay away as well. Your suppose to be her family not his. And I can see where her husband would be up set as well. It’s hurtful.
Choose your nephew and his dad. His mother and her husband are not good people. Your nephew has had enough pain in his life. It’s not fair. I would choose him and his dad. Dont let your sister also have control over you and your daughter’s do’s and don’ts. They’re obviously very selfish, egocentric, and toxic people.
This is your daughter’s day. Instead of feeding into the drama I’d lay out the framework like this one time and one time only - Everyone your daughter WANTS to be there is invited. PERIOD. It is HER day, HER decision. It’s not up for discussion as it’s really not anyone else’s business who’s on the guest list. This isn’t a social gathering for everyone else. This is a day to celebrate your daughter and her husband’s love. Whoever decides not to show up, it’s on them and it will show exactly what’s more important to them. Is it your daughter and celebrating her happiness? Or is it drama?
Invite them ALL and who comes comes and who dont dont.
If someone doesn’t want to go to a wedding because of who is invited then they can choose not to go. Your sister is super childish for making demands at her nieces wedding and selfish for not even being a big part of her sons life. This so called brother in law doesn’t care about your family and even with 15 years to get to know y’all and accept your nephew he still hasn’t so he can just keep your sister away. Stop accommodating your sisters husband. They can either accept everything or just not be apart of family functions.
Let them all come and if your sister can’t do that she’ll just have to not come because it seems to me that your nephew and his family care more about you than your sister family
Tell her too keep her ass at home💁🏾♀️
Fuck your sister. What a bitch. She chooses her husband over her kid? Why are YOU still talking to her. AND your daughter would rather her cousins dads fam? How is this a question?
Your sister and her husband sound like terrible people. Have your nephew and his dad’s family at the wedding and tell your sister to suck it up. She made the situation and now she is paying the consequences.
Tell your sister to pound sand, and invite your nephew and his family. She is awful.
And maybe you should adopt him and he can forget the rest
I got a little confused but I think ik what your saying… honestly she can act like an adult or screw off imo. And it’s her wedding. It seems as more you guys are involve with your nephew and his family anyways and not her. Let her pout. Invite her. Don’t Uninvite anyone, if she doesn’t want to come because of the guest list that’s on her.
My nephew and his family would be invited. I would not invite the others. If they make you choose between their own child or them, they don’t love you as you love them. The kid should not be left out or be put in a situation to have to go without the parent who does love him because of the one that has nothing to do with him. She can grow up or stay home. You said she doesn’t have much to do with you all to begin with so what are you losing? Not much on that end. Put the nephew and loving family first!
She should invite wherever she wants it’s a wedding not a family gathering. She should not feel bad for inviting your nephew and his dad. If she can’t be a mother to her own son and get over the fact the man she created a baby with is there because she married the wrong man that’s her fault not your daughters fault. She should not make your daughter feel bad inviting your nephew and his dad he has soul custody of him a course he can come.
- Your “sister” can kick rocks.
- it’s your daughters day she should just have her cousin and uncle if they’re more important to her🤷🏽♀️
Your letting your brother in law dictate who comes and goes in your daughter’s wedding because he wants to control your sister! Come on now! Hes a ass. She’s no better choosing a man over her child. No excuse. The boy has felt left out enough don’t you think! I say pick the boy and the family who likes ya. Feel so sorry for the boy.
I wouldn’t invite my sister, if she chooses her husband over her own kid then she can stay with him and not attend
Invite both if that is what your daughter wants…it is HER day not your sisters! If your sister makes the choice not to come because of it that is her choice not yours. She could be a grown up it is one day but don’t let her take your daughters happiness.
Invite everyone whomever goes goes but if your daughter wants her cousin it’s her wedding so let her decide
I’m confused. Really confused. But I hope everything works out for y’all.
Lose your sister? Your sister has chosen not to be a part of her family. That is something she has to live with. She has to deal with that. I would invite her and tell her I invited them too. If she doesnt come, oh well.
Oh my God she’s wrong in every sense. If they can’t grow up enough to come to the wedding in spite of your nephew’s family being there well then they should miss out. Why should everyone cater to her when she doesn’t cater to her son whatsoever. Damn forget cater to him that boy doesn’t even have a mother (besides you). I say screw them, let them be miserable by themselves while you’re all enjoying the wedding. Holy moly.
Lose your sister? You need to check your sister and tell her to grow the hell up. This day is not about ANY of you but the bride and groom and making them happy…selfish assholes…do what the BRIDE and GROOM want…get over yourselves…tell your sister to be a damn mom.
I’m not uninviting someone for someone else. If she can’t handle it, can’t or won’t stand up to her husband then she can stay at home. She already made the decision to not be involved with her own family.
Choose ur newfew and his family ur sister and her husband sound very selfish people . That husband of hers sounds like a big control freak. Her son didn’t ask to be born son came first she chose wrong
Screw your shitty sister and pick the newphew and his family!
I wouldn’t let your sister come. She is the only one causing problems for everyone else involved. If she’s not ok with her own son and his family coming then she shouldn’t come at all. What kind of person doesn’t care for their own child? Why would you even want her there. Yes she’s your sister and you love her, but everyone else shouldn’t have to suffer because of her. If it was my sister I would tell her to stay away!
Invite your nephew and his family. Don’t take advice from someone who doesn’t know how to be a parent to ALL her children.
The way I see it is the person that is trying to make me chose is hands down going to be the loser of that decision. I would not be told what to do by someone that chooses a man of THEIR CHILD! Clearly she can’t make good choices for herself so I wouldn’t let her tell you or your daughter who should be allowed at your DAUGHTERS wedding.
It’s not your sisters wedding it’s your daughters and she can invite whom ever she wants, if your sister doesn’t like it well that’s her problem and if she can’t suck it up for one day then that’s her problem and her loss. She either needs to her a grip and realise what’s actually important in life or just sod off.
If I was you I would choose both but I would tell them both to be civil and get along and grow up this world has enough problems right now and we don’t need any more and whoever shows up shows up whoever doesn’t does it that is up to you and whoever else wants to come
Invite everyone. Whoever chooses to show up can celebrate a wonderful wedding! If they don’t show up, I am sorry they will miss out. It’s for your daughter and her future spouse not the rest of the family. I say this with the utmost respect and love.
Don’t choose then. It’s their loss if they don’t come.
I would choose my nephew period if ur sister has let this man separate y’all as a whole than ur sister should stay her dumb ass home what kind of mother choses a man over own son! She has not been around any way! Sounds like she still has some unfinished business with ur nephews father which is not urs or ur daughters problem!!!
#plspicknephew!
Its her day not ur sister if she and her family wants to attend then that good but I say ur nephew n dad should be there. Because after all there family to.
Do not let her to guilt trip you. Invite your nephew and family also invite your sister. If she decides not to come that’s on her. Invite nephew and family. Sister can stay home if she doesn’t like it. She been nasty to your nephew forever. Don’t let her keep him from going to his cousins wedding. She loves her cousin and family. Invite them
So she doesn’t go… her choice 
And why would you hold onto someone so vile as to treat her son that way and to make you make a choice??? Seriously your life will be so much easier and better without her.
She is toxic. Let her go. Your daughter can invite everybody and who comes comes. Its not on her. That’s on your sister. If she Cant handle that than just wouldn’t talk to her. She needs to grow up. All these things are choices of your sisters nobody else
It’s your daughters wedding. Your daughter should be doing her guest list. Invite whoever she wants and those that come, come!!! I know it’s sad and will cause some grief. Why does family do this crap? It’s not their day. Go support the ones you live and respect. Suck it up!!! Good luck!
Tell you sister if she doesn’t like the guest list then she doesn’t need to attend
It’s her wedding and that guilt trip shit should be pushed to the side its who she wants there so either your sister comes or she doesnt not your daughters problem and not something she needs to deal with.
Invite them all, if she doesn’t want to come because he’s coming that’s not on you, that’s her choice, she obviously has issues
Its her day, she shouldnt be made to choose. Tell her Aunt its your choose to stay home or be part of my day but im not choosing and go about her day
Choose your nephew and his family.
Both have been invited and your sister made the choice not to attend. Not her wedding, she doesn’t get to decide guests.
I would choose your nephew and his family. Your sister sounds horrible and needs to be cut out. And besides didn’t you say she chooses her husband over your family anyway?
Ha. Rachel Murphy. I got lost on the first line. When I seen you got lost on the second I felt little better👀
Your sister can suck it up.
My cousin got married. We had family members that hadn’t spoken in yrs and absolutely hate each other there. They just sat on opposite sides of the room 🤷.
They were there for my cousin. Period. They just ignored the people they didn’t like 🤷 it’s not rocket science. Weddings are big…you can avoid people without much issue.
So sister has to chill or keep her ass home. Her choice. Tell your daughter to go with who is REAL family…blood don’t make family…the heart do. Time invested does. Connection does. The cousin is family…auntie just shares the same lineage. That’s all.🤷
Cut the toxic and keep the nephew and father.
Invite all of them. Whoever shows, shows. If she guilt trips you, tell her to choose her husband like she always does. Tell her you’re not playing this game and if she can’t act like an adult stay the eff home. She will either make it or she won’t. Don’t choose sides. Make her choose. Ultimately she’s the one with the problem, she can either suck it up and deal with it or not go. It isn’t her day. Its not about her.
Stand up for what’s right even if the outcome isn’t going to be pretty. She can’t keep treating her son this way and get away with it. If it was up to me, she’d be missing out on one hell of a wedding and I’d give her a mouthful for trying to guilt my daughter into getting her way on my daughters wedding day of all days! Sounds to me like she doesn’t want his family there as a reminder of what a bs mother she has been to her son.
The bride deserves to have who she wants at her wedding. The grown adult can get over herself or stay home
She should send the invite to anyone she wants, if your sister wants to be a petty bitch and not go, then that’s on her.
Don’t abandon your nephew for a sister who abandons you continuously.
Sounds like your better of just letting the nephew come to me !
Wow. Thats not cool.
Im sorry this about this situation.
Poor kid. If that was my son i would gone off on that so called husband. He would have never been my husband if my son wasnt involved.
Not being around him because it will make him upset… fuck he would see how upset i would get for keeping me away from my son.
Smh.
Unfortunately you gotta let her go she dont see the wrong she is doing 
That child needs you.
I hope she figures it out before its to late.
A Sad situation leaves you with a hard call. I would have Cousin & his family attend. His Mom has shunned him, you should NOT! Sister needs to learn her lesson, she should be adult enough to be at the same place, she doesn’t have to interface, her husband bully’s her & cousin, don’t let him bully you!
Prayers n you are right it’s wrong she does her child like that n well it’s your daughters day n she should have who ever she wants there that’s one of them things ppl are gonna have to get over her day not there’s they should be there for her not to see who all she has there prayers things work out
Always Choose Your Children!!!
Family isn’t always blood. Seems like you’re nephews family has been there for you and been true family. If your sister chooses to be bitter, it’s her loss. Seems to me she chose a long time ago.
Follow your heart on this situation and let your sister reap what she does. She has no rights in this situation. Your daughter and her fiancee deserve the best on their special day. Have a plan in place if your sister causes trouble but I wouldn’t uninvited your nephews other family. I’m sure that if you contact a couple of friends you trust they can head off any bad problems…good luck to you all. Congratulations to your daughter and her fiancee
your daughter and her fiance deserve a stress free wedding. This is one day. They need to prioritize each other not relatives. If she comes and any trouble make sure there is a plan to escort her and hers out calmly immediately if she causes problems. The couple do not deserve to have their wedding day ruined. They better start staying true to what they need and want now and communicate it in a respectful way. There will be more choices in life like this.
This is your daughters special day! Do not let any one take this day away from her! She loves her cousin deeply. She has done her part by inviting her Aunt. She didn’t have to,but she did! If the Aunt wants to come fine if she doesn’t fine. Your sister can’t be much if she took her 2nd husband over her own flesh & blood. Women that do this kind of thing is not much in my book. Maybe she won’t show up & everything will go as planned. If she does show up there will surely be a problem & you will be able to cut the air with a knife!!
Anytime someone gives you a me-or-them ultimatum then you have to really look at the person giving it! Issue invitations to everyone, and if the sister wants to play this card, let her stay home. It’s not about your sister and her hard heart. No one will miss her!
You don’t tell your nephew his family cannot go. If your sister chooses to be childish and miss out on your daughters day that’s on her. Invite everyone and let them make their own choice. Let your sister know she is invited as is your nephews family. You’re not choosing between family. Let her dig her own grave.
Your daughter and her fiancee should invite, who ever they want to their wedding. Then let the chips fall where they may. If her Aunt doesn’t want to come, then it is her loss. That way, there are no hurt feelings, about not being included. Shame on her Aunt for treating her son so badly, some day, she will regret it!
It’s your daughter’s wedding and she has been kind enough to include both families. Your sister is an adult and has to make her own decision. Tell her she is more than welcome to attend, but the invitations stand as delivered. If she chooses not to come see her niece get married, she will be missed. This is your sister’s problem and she has to live with it. Enjoy your daughter’s wedding with a full and grateful heart.
It is your daughter’s wedding. She should invite the nephew and family she loves. If aunt does not choose to come, it’s her loss. Families make things very hard sometimes. It’s the aunts choice to make? Family or her husband. 
Good luck! 
Sounds like your nephew has been shunned enough in his life already. Invite them all but make it clear to your sister. I bet her husband doesn’t really want to go anyway so that gives him an out. If your sister backs out, then that’s on her. You did the right thing and will have a clear conscience.
You lost your sister many years ago… So why worry about her feelings… It’s obvious she doesn’t care about anyone but her… If she doesn’t want to go to the wedding that’s on her… No one is telling her not to attend but her… So you have who ever you want at this wedding… I would…
You invite who you want to your wedding. Obviously your nephew and his dad have been in your life more than your sister has because if her husband. She made her choice to be controlled by her husband . You unfortunately can’t change that. She has to be the one to realize that. So I would invite your nephews dad and his family . Follow your heart yiu know what is right to do. Shame on your sister for choosing a man over her own son. She will have to live with her descion dont let this ruin your special day. Your nephew is lucky to have you in his life
In my family we invite everyone and then it is their choice to attend or not. Her choice. This day is about you and your immediate family, not her. It’s your day to celebrate the wedding of your daughter. I’m sorry your sister is so selfish.
Don’t. Invited them all if you feel you must, but tell them they are grown ass adults that can make their own decisions on if to attend or not. You are allowing her to manipulate what should be a happy occasion. Let them know that this is a family wedding and the whole extended family has been invited. They can behave like adults and attend or behave like a bratty child & stay home. Their decisions are on them, not on you! Your daughter is the important one to please NOT your sister.
Your sister is the one giving the ultimatum so if she wants to come let but if she doesn’t that’s her choice. She is a guest and can choose to come or not but is not the host ans so has NO say in who is invited.
Our children always come before any man. No exceptions. Unless child is trying to break them up then seek counselling. It’s up to the bride whom she invites. I would bring it up.
Your sister is the one in the wrong, don’t let her bully you with ultimatums. You’ve invited her, and if she chooses to not come because of her controlling husband, that’s on her. Your daughter wants her cousin and his family there, and so they shouldn’t be uninvited because her aunt is being selfish.
You don’t!!!
She invited who she wanted to be there. If your sister doesn’t come than it’s her fault.
Sounds like your daughter has a much closer relationship with her cousin and his family. Let them be the family your sisters not being.
Maybe if you tell her she’s not un inviting them she’ll think a little harder about being your family.
I think our children will always be our children even if the mom or dad are in there life. The love of a mom or dad is deep. Even if its not shown on a daily day. If this mother has choosen her path is her path and only her will be in a lost in her heart. I would just say with the people in your every9 circle because those are the ones that be in your life. I have always said we family but some time its just a wave and how are you we running in with them . There should be no guilt on your decision and who party is it? You have the upper hand . life is not fair but dont loose the ones close to you. Your sister is already has her path and has chosen her family.
Your sister can stay home no one wants that kind of negativity on their day!!! If your sister wants to be there she will show but honestly your sister picked a side along time ago when she chose her husband over her son 
Leave it up to your sister to come as you have extended the invitation however if your daughter wants her cousin and his family there then, he should be made welcome. It’s your sisters loss if she doesn’t come.
From what you says sounds like your sister is in unhealthy relationship and the choices she makes may be made under duress. Invite who the bride wants to the wedding the deserves her day
Well first of all, tell your sister that it’s not her place to decide who comes and who doesn’t. Second it is ultimately up to your daughter as it is HER day. If your sister decides to continue to be childish and selfish, that is on her. It is not your place to tell your daughter who can and cannot come to her wedding. Your sister is way out of line anyway.
It’s your daughters wedding and she can invite whomever she wants if she wants to invite the nephew and his family then she can. Unfortunately, people think they have to please everyone in the family for weddings and when you try to it makes things complicated do what makes you happy and let them decide if they want to come or not. If they do great. If they don’t you know where they lie with priorities and pride so you know not to invite them to other events to avoid issues.
I’ve been to many events where there were people I didn’t care to associate with…I just didn’t associate with them while there…plain and simple. I would never miss an event as important as this just because someone else I didn’t like was invited. And I would never expect the host to uninvite someone on my behalf…that is just wrong…
This your Daughters wedding not your Sisters. Your daughter should invite whoever she wants and let the chips fall where they may. This day is about your Daughter and her Choice for a husband. Don’t let your Sister dictate who comes and who doesn’t. I question any woman that would choose her husband over her child anyway??? If she gets upset she has the same clothes to get glad in. Not her day-its your Daughters.
Keep nephew and his Dad. Your sister gave up her son a long time ago.
She always chooses her husband, over everyone, including mom. I’d choose the nephew and his dad!
I’d let her stay gone any woman to choose a man over there children don’t deserve to be called a mother and if she doesn’t come cause her own con and his real family is there screw her
I stopped reading halfway…I have a dysfunctional family and my advice is to invite them all. It isn’t her choice and she can suck it up. She is only making herself look bad and if she chooses to skip the wedding don’t let it bother your daughter. It isn’t right how she treats her son (and you know it) so include him and his family. If she tries to make any drama just let her know she will be asked and forced to leave.