One of you needs to take the responsibility of getting fixed. If you want future kids it’s easier for the Male to be reversed than female. I got my tubes done after my 4th. NO REGRETS.
Well maybe he’ll be willing to go get up a vasectomy if you don’t want to get your tubes tied? I personally don’t know him so I don’t feel it’s right for anyone to say that they think he’s making excuses or that he’s stepping out etc nobody knows him better than you and maybe he is legitly terrified and he doesn’t want to have any more children. You both need to sit down and talk about it 10 years is a lot to throw away especially with having 3 kids to consider. I’ll be praying for you a communication is the key.
And you know what they say some of the best sex you’ve ever had is all by yourself
Paraguard is a 100% non hormonal IUD
If he doesn’t want any more babies, maybe he can get fixed 
Ask him to get a vasectomy. Problem solved.
This is easy. If he doesn’t want anymore children tell him to get a vasectomy. It is reversible you know.
Are you opposed to anal? I’ve been with my SO for 6 years and we didn’t start until I had my daughter because it spiced things up.
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I wonder if you could use POP birth control pill since it only has progestin hormone and not estrogen. Maybe that’ll give him some piece of mind and can get intimate. Heard of it through the grapevine so maybe someone else would know more. I don’t but worth the research.
Cooper IUD! I refuse to use hormonal birth control also because of the negative effects it had on me for YEARS. It works very well!!! No hormones!
You just posted this in the other group, as yourself 🤦
Same responses hun.
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Ask him to get a vasectomy
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Paragard doesn’t have any hormones and doesn’t affect breastfeeding if you’re looking for another type of birth control.
Maybe he should get the snip, snip and worries be over.
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If you have condoms and spermicide that leads me to believe it’s not that he’s afraid you’ll get pregnant he just doesn’t want to have sex with you. Play dirty, put on a sexy outfit, pull out all the stops, whatever he’s into seduce him. Make it impossible for him to turn you down.
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Copper IUD, vasectomy, condoms, tell him to stop being a baby
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he’s being smart. he obviously doesn’t want anymore kids any time soon, so look into a non hormonal iud and in the mean time girl get a toy lol 
also i don’t think it would be fair to tell him to get snipped, if you’re not getting your tubes tied.
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Woah. I’m sorry to hear that. But, please don’t let it be the reason you’re staying is because you’ve been with him 10 years. Is he respecting you? Is he cheating? If you offered that many options, he may be cheating.
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Try birth control with zero Estrogen. I have been on it for a while and it works great. You just have to make sure you take it at the same time everyday.
He’s that terrified have him get clipped.
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I can see where both of you are coming from. Do not forget there are other ways to please each other that will completely avoid pregnancy!! Oral sex, mutual masturbation, sorry for being graphic lol but maybe talk about things when the children are asleep. Get all comfy and have a good wholesome conversation. Start off being completely up front about how you feel rejected, and however else you may feel. Probably should ask him to hold his thoughts and just listen before you even start talking, and you should do the same for him. I think once he realizes that there are several other ways to be intimate without getting pregnant things may get better. (I am sure he is aware of those options but is so scared his light bulb hasn’t turned on yet) But try a different approach. I know when I approach my husband pissed as hell, or wearing my sassy pants, I rarely get good results LOL Just be you momma. Open, honest, and raw with him. And yes, I get completely bitchy, and just mad at the grass being green when I go too long without getting any. Good luck!!
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Tell him you get a visectemy if he’s so scared. It’s not fair to you for him to hold put on you like that. You guys need to have a serious conversation and really sit down and really TALK
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Talk with him about how you’re feeling…maybe even research together. If you have been together 10 years, maybe it’s time to talk about what the both of you want for your future…more kids, done having kids. He could have a vasectomy since you’re not ready. Y’all can try other forms of sex…oral, anal, hand jobs…just something to get you both off
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Oral is a great way to not get pregnant.
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Maybe he should get his fixed
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If he’s not willing to have sex until you guys can come up with a safer way to have sex why not add toys and lots of oral on both parts. Or he could always get fixed🤷🏻♀️
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Go buy a dildo and use it in the bed next to him 
or get him a strap on 💁 cant get pregnant then. On a real note i feel like somethings up my husband absolutely does not want more kids im not on bc but he bugs the shit out of me for sex if he aint getting it from you he is getting it in other places rather he is cheating or getting off himself
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Get tied or have him pull out and get snipped
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Copper IUD cost me $50 and lasted 5 years with no hormones in it
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Ask him about a vasectomy. How about an IUD. You can do something as well…many forms on birth control these days.
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It’s nothing to do with the baby thing he’s making an excuse I think
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Maybe he could get the snip 
Surely once you do oral he can’t not want it… hopefully you dilemma will sort out ASAP!!
Does he know how babies are made? If so, he need not be afraid. Take necessary precautions, and you are good.
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Go with a nonhormonal option like the Paragard IUD, which has no hormones and uses copper instead. It lasts 10 years and should you decide on more kids later, it can easily be removed by your dr and you can try to conceive right away. I have it and love mine!
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Have him get fixed if its such a big deal to him ok snip snip motherfucker go get ur balls clipped why does it always fall on the woman to b responsible about birth control
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Tell him to go get a vasectomy!!!
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If he is so terrified of getting pregnant again he can have a vasectomy. Sounds like he may he done having kids.
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Paragaurd is a non hormonal birth control it’s the best IUD I’ve had mine for 8 years now and I love it. I can have sex and not worry about pregnancy but I always get STD tests normal as well just to be safe
Get fixed or get protected problem solved if that doesnt work therapy
Tell his ass to get snipped! Problem solved
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If you get an iud or effective birth control method and hes still not willing to have sex then its possible hes lost attraction. It sounds messed up and rude to say but its possible
Get an iud copper no hormones at all an last upto 10 years works brilliantly beat bc u can have
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Ask him to get a vasectomy.
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Tell him to quit being a baby and get snipped. In and out, 20 minute procedure. Hell, he’ll notice that they even hang lower after it’s done.
Talk to your OB about getting an IUD , Simple solution. And if y’all have three kids all together, you should respect the fact that he’s nervous about number four
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Let’s see who the responsible parent here is!
Both of you get fixed 
Have you thought about the mirena or the coil? Only acts on the uterus instead of whole body. I kinda don’t blame him he is trying to be responsible. It can’t always be on the one side, he may not want a vasectomy. Do you want any more kids? If not then why not get your tubes tied? It’s a discussion you both need to have together without anger and hurt. Lay the facts down and keep emotion out.
Paraguard isnt hormonal its and iud. Vasectomys can be undone, but three kids is a lot already and honestly with thos economy not a great idea to have anymore so i think you should be more willing to have your tubes tied instead of asking him to be the only one to take birth control seriously and then complaining you arent getting laid. Relationships work both ways.
Well have you thought that maybe it’s not about getting you pregnant again…have you thought it’s maybe another woman…my HG just left her man and they been together for 10yrs almost 11 and he started seeing someone else even moved in with another female without her knowing because he’s up north working…they have 2 girls together…and IDK how people can say tell him to get a vasectomy when your not even ready to tie your tubes so why should he get one if obviously she still wants kids
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I mean, if it was the other way round people would tell him to respect that decision. Maybe you should too and give it some time? Do the job yourself for the time being
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Well HE could get a vasectomy, simple outpatient procedure and then HE will KNOW he is good and calm the hell down. If its that scary/important to him sounds like an easy fix.
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Either suggest he gets a vasectomy and take control of birth control or you get a copper coil then there’s no hormones. Once it’s in you hardly notice it’s there.
In the meantime by yourself an early valentine’s gift and give yourself some release 
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I get you. Try IUD copper(no hormones) I have same issue with anticonception. Since 2013 my and my other and not complaining 7 years of happy sex life and no pregnancy scares. Try it it’s safer. Peace
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Let him get the snip then problem solved you keep your tubes he dont get anymore babies
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Been dealing with lack of affection atm myself and weve recently gotten over a small hurdle. I kept trying to get him to see how I was feeling but it never worked so I stopped talking to him, if he asked me something or says something I’ll acknowledge it as simply and quick. Eventually we ended up talking and hes trying. It’s a good idea for the kids to be in bed too so theres not as much distraction.
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He can get fixed or you can get fixed. Do you want more kids??? Evidently he doesn’t…y’all can double up on birth control until one of y’all gets fixed.
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I hate to say this but you can’t force him to have sex with you. Condoms are not 100% effective. Isn’t there some birth control you haven’t tried yet? Hes got a very valid reason to feel the way he feels. Not saying you don’t, but I think you need to be a little more considerate of how he’s feeling. **And to everyone saying he should get a vasectomy, she said she is not ready to stop having children yet otherwise she wouldn’t have said she doesn’t want to get her tubes tied. So obviously that’s not an option 
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Do you want more children? If you dont want more children the I dont see what the problem with getting your tubes tied would be, or a vasectomy for him
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Copper IUD, no hormones called paragard
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Have him get snipped. its easy to reverse if you guys decide to have kids again
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Curious as to if there is intimacy besides sex ?
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Both of you deserve say in your own reproductive health - regardless of the procedure. Have a talk with him about the true reason (is it 100% just he doesn’t want more kids, or something else bothering him). Work together to find a birth control method that you both approve of. In the mean time, there are plenty of other options besides penis/vaginal sex! 
The people here saying he should get over it and just get snipped are disgusting. Would you offer that advice if the roles were reversed? Every person, regardless of sex, gender, etc. is entitled to make decisions about their own reproductive health and not get bullied by it - especially from their spouse.
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I’m sorry to get personal… but you did put your personal business out there…
You said this last baby, the almost 3 month old, was a surprise. How so? Were you using birth control methods and still got pregnant? Or did you stop taking birth control and he didnt know ? (Not insinuating, just asking) he may genuinely be worried about having another baby. As you know, it is a life changer… no matter how many babies, each one changes life as you know it and that can be terrifying for both Mom and Dad. It’s a valid concern. I think you sit down and talk with him. Be open minded and hear what he is saying or telling you he feels. There may be more to it than he just doesnt want to have kids.
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Don’t know if it’s been mentioned but fathers can experience postpartum depression also. I’d say a conversation about what he’s feeling is definitely in order.
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Have you tried a birth control with no hormones? I couldn’t have hormones either so my doctor put on the paragaurd it’s a birth control that last 10 years
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He can get a vasectomy.
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Snip snip problem solved
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You shouldn’t even have to get your tubes tied at all- Tell him to get a vasectomy if he’s so worried about it. That decision though I would probably wait a couple of months for. I just think that you two should communicate about your options. Not trying to be inappropriate but you won’t get pregnant if he gets you off in a different way 🤷 It’s not really an excuse to completely abandon you sexually.
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He can get snipped, and if you ever decide you want more kids it can be undone. Your tubes as well, you can do it then get it undone when you want more but it is a simpler process for men then women
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There are many non hormonal methods of birth control. If he refuses to entertain any of them then (in my opinion) he’s using it as an excuse to skirt around a bigger problem. I’d suggest couples counseling so you can both get to the root of the problem in a nonjudgmental, healthy manner.
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Tell him to get snipped
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OK come on seriously be mature about this get your tubes tied who cares if you’re not ready obviously he doesn’t want you to get pregnant I mean come on three kids OK I kind of don’t blame him for being scared.But both sound irresponsible he can also get a Vasectomy so your extra careful the both of you .you get your tubes tied he gets a vasectomy.I swear like people do not think.stupidity
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Sex without penetration exists, and so do vasectomies.
Why isn’t he getting anything done about it…
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Don’t force him into something if he is not ready. Go masturbate until he is ready. Maybe suggest him getting a vasectomy.
Get a toy if he ain’t gonna give you pleasure then you do it yourself. 🤷 As for connecting with him maybe more date nights or movie nights on the couch
I think you and your husband should think seriously about either a tubal ligation for you or a vasectomy for him. He obviously does not want anymore babies. You have three now so maybe you should be satisfied with that.
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Walk around naked … it doesnt sound like he doesnt want u just that hes over thinking things … get some spermicide and condoms and then tell him to pull out even with the condom on that way it will give him some peace of mind… otherwise he can get snipped granted there is still a chance you can get pregnant even if he gets snipped so I’d still be careful if u really dont want a baby
Ok usually I dont comment on this page but I really relate with this topic. I had two kids with my ex wife after being with her for 10 years when we relized it was not working out between us at all. I then meet the person I’m now with and was honestly worried about having sex with out taking extreme precautions being I did not want another kid after everything that had happened. So at that time I know my gf got the implant in her arm and we used condoms on top of that and she never got pregnant. As a guy I know if you sit down with him and explain that you need some expecally after having a baby and that if he loves him he will hopefully honor helping you out. I do know after a while me and my gf ended up having a baby after being together for a couple years and after she have birth 2 months later she looked at me and was like this needs to happen now or I’m getting a toy for my self. So last thing tell them its ever him or its a toy for your needs.
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Look if you don’t want your tubes tied then you must want more kids. If he does not want more kids this is a problem
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get the copper IUD it’s hormone free
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Please we keep saying men can’t force us to have sex. It’s the same here. Either get some form of long term birth control or a divorce. He could also get a vasectomy but so far it seems you’re the one who’s bothered by the lack of sex so he doesn’t seem to have any motivation to do it. I wouldn’t touch you either if I were him. 4 kids? I have 2 and if anyone even so much as tells me I’m having another one, I’m going to blow my top.
You either get secure birth control or masturbate. Leave the man alone.
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I think you guys have an issue of you wanting for kids and him not. If he dosent want anymore then maybe he should consider vasectomy. But you can’t make if have sex with you I’m in a little bit of an opposite situation I take the pill but I’m terrified of getting pregnant agin and I’m the one avoiding sex I feel terrible. I want to but it’s almost send me into a panic attack trying to have sex so my husband has been more understanding about it but it’s still a frustrating situation to be in.
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Learn to please yourself until something or someone shifts. I have had past experiences such as yours where there was so much sex, then pregnant and while pregnant I had the shock of being turned down and away several times it only got worse over the next 2 years, there was sex 2 times in 2 years on the same day in May. By then I had learned to be intimate with myself and to actually enjoy it. Get a good vibrator and check out some of the self pleasure guided meditations or tantric music videos on you tube.
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You should respect his feelings. Just like if it were the other way around.
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Also there are plenty of other ways to be intimate without getting pregnant🤷🏻♀️
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You will never impeach him.
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Buy a sex toy and use it in front of him
Get a toy…just saying
Get some toys … all of u saying u need his pleasure … pleasure urself with toys and cuddle up . Honestly u should also ask him to join in the pleasure with u … cuz men need it to both of u should get some toys and help each other out to avoid the future problems maybe sooner or later u both will see eye to eye again and go back to regular physical sex
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Sex is important in a relationship, I would sit down with him and have a talk about each of your feelings about what’s going on. It’s not fair to either of you to keep going on with all the tension etc.