My son came out as transgender and my husband is not supportive: Advice?

I am needing major advice right now…I need to know how I can be there for my kid while im losing my husband of 10 years…my 12 year old son came out to me as transgender a few months ago…he wanted me to help him tell his dad…my husband flipped when we sat him down…I know in my heart my son has always been my son…i could tell from a very young age…so when he told me I was like WELL DUH lol… but his dad is NOT okay with this…with the clothing changes, the haircuts…nothing…won’t even refer to him as his new name…and I am heartbroken for my son…I have decided to leave because my husband has been down right rude and I am tired of it…he should love our child regardless…my issue is, he wants some custody of our son and I know it;s just to “talk sense into him”…I am thinking about leaving across the country to my moms house but am I legally able to do this? How do I go about this? I just want the best for my baby…please help

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As mothers… we should not be in agreement with demonic spirits… the dark spiritual realm is attacking our children and parents are all for it. Rebuke those spirits and seek deliverance. Spiritual warfare is real.

And regardless how many people comment against my comment, I will not engage in foolish conversation.

Let the attack of the enemy begin. “Gender dysphoria” is demonic spirits🤦🏼‍♀️ and clearly those who defend this are attacked as well.

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Therapy for everyone. There’s a lot more realizing your transgendered and making changes. Your kiddo is going to have to learn how to handle all the situations including unsupportive family. And he needs to do that with a well versed therapist. You need therapy bc you parenting a child who is transgendered and may be questioning other things and has an unsupportive parent that is your partner. Your husband needs therapy to accept and move forward they have a transgendered child. It’s not as easy as here it is and there’s never an issue that comes up. Life would be so much better for those in the LGBTQIA community if they could just state their truth and immediately be accepted everywhere by everyone. But we aren’t there yet so until then there will be hard hard issues to handle at a vulnerable time in a kiddos life. GL! And I wish your son a wonderful life living their true self!

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I don’t agree with running away. You’re teaching your child to run away from their problems instead of standing up and fighting for them. Dad is most likely in shock and needs some time to wrap his head around it. Talk with him without the child around and ask if he would agree to counseling for everyone.

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If you have no court order about custody and visitation, you can take your son and go. But I would be careful. Check your state laws. Some states have an age limit where the child is considered old enough to vocalize which parent they want to live with.

Not to mention, your husband may find it difficult to win custody if you bring up his view on your son and his identity.

Remind him…We are suppose to love our kids unconditionally.Being so young could be a phrase. At that age it’s possible.If It’s not…Daddy needs to do some deep soul searching n love him enough to support him regardless.

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I think family councilimg and and therapy for the boy should be considered.

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Your son is old enough to tell a court that he wants supervised visits or no visits at all. At that age, they will consider his wishes, especially if he is brave enough to tell them why and how it would be mentally damaging

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He’s 12 and he’s trying to be “transgender”. By being there for your baby, you don’t leave your husband who isn’t supportive. Instead, get counseling and therapy for all of you. Including your son, who wants to be trans. Make sure that it’s not a phase, because it’s literally being shoved down our throats everyday.

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I want to preface this by saying, each situation is different. I, in no way, shape or form am indicating that your child isn’t genuine in wanting to transition, I’m simply speaking about my situation with my child, and what our experience was like.

When my daughter was 12, she came out to me as bi. I asked her what made her come to that conclusion, because at 12, she hadn’t had any relationships to base it on, and she had always only ever had crushes on boys. She told me that she liked boys, but just felt more comfortable with girls. A couple weeks later, she came out as lesbian. I said ok, but what has changed since coming out as bi? Her response was, I just can’t stand boys. Boys are gross, girls are hot. I like being around them. They’re pretty and have nice bodies. I said ok. Fast forward a few weeks to her requesting a short hair cut and masculine clothing. She would come home and cry because her room was pink and too girly. She now hated EVERYTHING about her femininity. I supported her the best way I knew how, but also had a ton of questions. The answer I consistently received was, I can’t stand my chest, I want a binder. I just hate being a girl. Fast forward to the end of the school year and months of her talking about being Trans. I wanted to order her summer clothes, but wanted to double check that she’d like everything. Every item I picked was from the men’s or boys section. She deleted everything in the cart and replaced it all with women’s clothing. I mean floral prints and all. When I asked her why she didn’t want the masculine clothes, she told me that she wasn’t Trans, but at one point thought she was. I asked her what made her think that. She told me that one of the things that she consistently heard when looking into the possibility of being transgender, was that they weren’t comfortable in their body, or felt like they were in the wrong body. She equated not liking her chest, to no longer wanting to be a girl. She came to realize, on her own, that she may have been to hasty on coming to that conclusion. She is now a very feminine 15 year old. She is still growing out that short haircut and like most girls her age, has insecurities about her body.

I’d also like to add, that at the time of going through all of that, she was heavily into anime, and ALL of her friends were a part of the LGBTQ community. In fact, she told all of her friends that weren’t part of it, that they were basic🤦🏼‍♀️. Thankfully none of them held a grudge when she finally realized that it probably wasn’t the best thing to say to them.

I only mention anime, because I work in a middle school and see several transgender students a year. Aside from being transgender all of them have 1 thing in common, and it’s anime. By the time they graduate 8th grade, the vast majority have gone back to their former identity. That age group is difficult. They’re asserting independence, trying to figure out who they are, their bodies are changing and their hormones are all over the place. Just support your child the best you can. As far as cutting the dad out, or moving far away, I’d consult an attorney. They may suggest family counseling. That could potentially help everyone understand what’s going on and better prepare all of you for any changes that may be coming. I wish you all the best.

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You can’t move out of the state with his father’s consent because you’re married. I’d get your son into counseling with a counselor that specializes in the emotional difficulty of being trans (if that’s possible).

Keep any evidence of his feelings towards your son & the LGBTQ community. Keep texts, record conservations if it’s legal in your state, keep a journal etc. Get your son a Guardian ad Litem. Becareful though. There’s a lot of hate towards transsexuals. Just because you hire someone to have your son’s best interest in mind doesn’t mean they will fully act in that manner. Same with counselors, doctors etc. I’d stay clear of anyone who has any religious affiliation especially Catholic.

Running from your problems isn’t going to solve anything… also it won’t teach your child anything either…. When the going gets tough just pack up and run?

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Because he’s doesn’t agree and isn’t on board means he doesn’t love his child? Have you guys talked about this one on one and he said he won’t be a part of his life if this is what you allow him to choose? No you can’t not legally move across the country without his approval even without a court order. As that was his man residence for many years. Dad can petition the court to make you come back for court hearing and such. Plus you were married so the court will grant him custody unless he was very physically abusive.

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It’s really difficult to give advice on this if you’ve never been there. Maybe you should seek help from a therapist

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He has hardly completed puberty! Let him speak to someone outside of the home so he can truly express himself. I know a a child at 11 years of age. She wants to remain a girl then wants to be a boy. Says she’s gay then has a boyfriend. They are easily confused by society and will not know who they really are until puberty so be patient and understanding.

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legally it would be best to go to court before you move across county and depending on your sons age, the court may be inclined to hear their opinion on which parent they want to reside with and if they want to see the other parent.

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Check into laws about programs that try to break LGBTQI people and/or “pray away the gay.” Some might apply to how dad treats your child. Encourage ex to join PFLAG and go to counseling. Can you call his treatment of your child abuse? Maybe you can get him only supervised visitation.

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No don’t let him have your son alone for your sons safety. he seems he might send him to church or some culty pastor . he’s never going to accept him your husband is transphobic :pensive:

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