My son has ADHD, how can I reward his good behavior?

So I have a 7 yr old son with ADHD, and he’s exactly what is depicted. He is wild, loud, and sometimes mean, but he is also sweet, caring, and loving. He’s on medication, but I was curious about how other people with ADHD kids handle it and ways to give positive reinforcement.

10 Likes

I use a marble jar for my boys. They don’t have adhd/add. I do suspect my oldest has add but is undiagnosed. We r doing a lot of OT at home to help with his behaviour & the marble jar works for us.

1 Like

Sticker chart? If he has 5/7 good days or whatever you decide would be a good limit for him he gets a surprise at the end of the week? I bake with my step kids sometimes, I find little pieces of jewlery or movie night they get to stay up past bedtime with us and watch a movie things like that.

1 Like

Talk it out with him, ive found it helps if they help set the rewards and consequences

1 Like

My son is 6 with severe ADHD combined type.
I use an economy reward system.
We bought cheap admit one tickets. He earns those through good behavior/chores. Then he uses them to “buy” privileges and rewards.
For him we have to be strict and make him earn even tv time, playing with toys, or tablet time but he can earn bigger things too…like sleep over, movie night (with snacks), pizza night, even a new toy (he’d have to save his tickets up for that one though)

6 Likes

Treat as normal as possible. Reward with sticker chart and maybe giving ipad time or something he likes doing. You just need lots of patiance and show as much love as you can.

Therapy is really helping my boy to open up, getting ready for meds. For the third time. It’s so hard, but there are times. where it seems like life stands still and I see my beautiful boy :heart: Never give up and keep pushing forward everyday :heart::pray::dancer:

I have no experience with ADHD in my home, but I have worked with children for 7 years. I have had many parents tell me that removing red dye 40 from the child’s diet helped A LOT! My child is not ADHD but is super energetic with no attention span and we were thinking about trying to remove it and see what happens if anything. Might be worth a shot

Look up the nurtured heart approach!! I’m a special education teacher, and we had a seminar on this a little while back. It seems like just the thing you need. And don’t let the name fool you!

I loved getting toys when I was younger as a reward. like i got to get to pick a few new Legos out of a toy box with Legos every time I was good when I was younger. I ended up with ALOT of Legos after awhile…

Ask him what he would like to be rewarded with and work towards. My son is 11yo and he has things he wants so that’s what he gets rewarded with. He does X for X amount of days he gets what he set heart on. Over the summer he wanted a Big Nice Knife so he had to do something for 30days with only 2 slip ups to earn it. And he accomplished it and then some cause he didn’t have any slip ups so he got to pick 2 out. Right now he’s working towards money so he does things to earn X amount of money.

My son has been dx and tx since he was 5.5yo so the Spring before Kindergarten. I wanted to level the playing field for school so he’s been on Intuniv 3mg QPM since and we added Adderall 10mg QAM (only on school days and bowling days) in 1st grade. He does so well. He gets himself up with an alarm at 7am and showers and gets dressed by 730am every school day. No major diet changes although pretty healthy naturally. Not a major strict schedule we adhere to pretty basic with that we do a lot of the same but with flexibility. Not super strict with electronics either but we are super busy so it’s naturally restricted on it own. He knows what’s expected and how to get it. If he gets more out of control I add more rewards for him to earn but really he rarely needs natural consequences or punishments.

1 Like

:raising_hand_woman: my son is 7 and has ADHD as well. We chose to forgo the medication when it had negative side effects. School has been the toughest part of our lives for years until we switched schools. His new school has a program called Check-in/Check-out. This program breaks the day up into small sections. About 2 or 3 hours at a time. He checks in with an adult at the beginning of the time and talks a bit about how he’s feeling and doing, then at the end of the allotted time he checks out with that same adult and they discuss the same thing. Then he gets a 1, 2, or 3 rating on his behavior for that time. Each section of time is done the same way. At the end of the day he gets an overall percentage and gets a reward if its 90% or more. Breaking the day up into smaller sections has been a huge success. He feels so much more confident because he only has to concentrate on 2 or 3 hours at a time and he feels less overwhelmed. If you’re having trouble at home maybe you could do something similar? Here is a pic of the grading system from today!

4 Likes

I have sever adhd and add. My dad struggled but figured me out. He changed my diet. No food colors like red dye 40. And i was allowed 1 can caffeine soda a day. Caffeine is a downer for ppl like me. He said once he did that i was easier. I was definitely the child who needed my own space. So for rewards he would let me play my games. Or even buy me a new game. Back then it was game boy color so yeah im sorta old but it gave me something to look forward to. More you keep then busy the best.

3 Likes

My daughter has adhd, we use a weekly reward. If she misbehaves too much the reward is taken from her, but she can earn it back

My mom did dinners at the end of the week and I got to choose where

Plus I handled it well

My son has adhd and was struggling for a long time before diagnosis so once medicated and in behavioral therapy we started doing weekly treats for good behavior. One week we let him pick a new toy, one week a movie, one week before Halloween we went zombie paintball hunting. We have been going on 4 months of great behavior

I want to get my stepson tested for ADHD. Did all you moms just see your pediatrician or did you see a specialist?

Behavior charts. Set expectations and create a point system to help him meet those expectations. Then reward him when he meets the goals set for him. My daughter gets points for doing certain tasks at school without having to be prompted or manually refocused. She gets points for correcting bad behaviors quickly. If she meets the 26 point goal for the day she gets a candy. 2 if she exceeds. 3 if she goes above and beyond. If she goes above and beyond, like 30s all week, we take her out on the weekend for a fun event. Small goals with quick results to keep interested and motivated, and larger goals with bigger prizes to work toward. You need some immediate gratification or it won’t work.

1 Like

My 10 year old is ADHD. We homeschool so trying to let him to focus can be a bit of a challenge. We’ve had to limit his screen time. We’ve found that too many electronics in a day changed his behavior. He gets much more hyper and unfocused the more he used a screen. So what we do now is use screen time as a reward. If he has a good day or stays on track he gets a set amount of screen time. My advice is to find a reward that works for your son and then stick with it. Adhd kids thrive with routine.

Karate classes or one on one time with you.

My brother has ADHD and my niece does too the best way we have found to handle it is with keeping them busy… Spend time with them, do fun activities, make games out of physical activities so they wear themselves out… The reason we find this method so much easier than just putting them on medication is because my grandma put my lil brother on meds and it basically turned him into a zombie… he lost interest in everything he use to have fun with and it messed with his diet we couldn’t get him to eat anything… Once we got him off the medicine and actually got active with him and active in his life everything changed for the better he enjoyed everyday activities again and ate normally… so when my sister had my niece and as she got older we started noticing similar signs with her we did the same with her and opted not to try medicine

Do a sticker board everytime he fills it up he gets to pick out something for himself

We had a “treasure chest” for our boys. If they did their chors or got a good report from the teachers they could pick something out. It worked really well for us.

That sound awesome Mikayla I wish they had something here like that

Expecting a week of of good behavior is too much for the child. It needs to be be broken down. A week is setting them up for failure.

Took our son off the meds. I didn’t like a lethargic zombie walking around. I did some research, upped his omega 3’s, taught him self control. We didn’t punish him, we worked with him. Yes we’d get angry sometimes, but didn’t punish. We taught ourselves to react properly while we taught him to control it. The school was great as they worked with us (all but one teacher). Honor roll student all through high school. To this day, even at 18, he doesn’t sit through a full meal without “going to the washroom” at least once. It annoyed us at first when he was little but we quickly learned it was his way of controlling- just walking to the bathroom and back sometimes was enough of a break he needed for the antsyness

2 Likes

Not sweet treats. Sugar is bad for ADHD. Be careful with his diet in general. Acupuncture

1 Like

My brother had this when he was a kid, our mom wouldn’t let him have red juice or anything with Red40 in it. He would get crazy if he had some

I think a good reward for good behavior with a child having ADHD, is maybe take the child to the park or something fun where they can burn off energy… Or an indoor play center :blush:

8 Likes

Treat good behaviour with a hug. Words of encouragement. Ye will bond and as he gets older he will open up about how he is feeling. Toys and treats are nothing in comparison to hugs. Kisses and loads of encouragement when is having a good day. Patience and hugs when he is having a bad day

6 Likes

My youngest is full blown ADHD & now 30 years old. When he was in school & home we had a weekly behavior and sticker chart. IF he earned all his stickers every day from school AND home he was allowed to pick out a reward of his choosing with a set montetery limit. I also made it a point every day to make sure he had a specific set of time to burn off all that excessive energy in as much constructive ways as I could find! I also had a minimum 1 hour QUIET down time and bedtime ritual! Lights were turned down; tvs shut off or volume decreased! There are many options you can do to help him; be creative and whatever plan your going to use make sure it suits his needs as every child is different!! Ask his teacher, school counselor for ideas as they have great resources to help! Hang in there it’s a wild ride but worth it when you see them become fully functional independent adults!! :heart::pray::heart: Love & prayers!!

We talk alot about respecting others boundaries and stopping when they say no, they don’t want to. Stuff like that.

Get him a prize box. Little things, match box cars, army men, what ever he’s into, and when he’s being good let him pick a prize.

4 Likes

My son has HDHD & ODD. We built up good behaviors on a chart. After so many good stars we would go get icecream or a burger together. He also had smaller goals, or could save stars to build torwards a more expensive toy.

https://blog.centurymartialarts.com/how-martial-arts-teaches-children-self-discipline?fbclid=IwAR2pyD_g863lFqTVRl_AJN_5eEk4RhdyK5e5JKbB_9qU10kTQ_Pdn26dtgU

Have you tried elimination diets

Praising good behavior alone can be a huge reinforcement. Just acknowledging that you see how well he is doing and engaging with him in playtime is a huge reward and bonding time for both of you! If you are looking for a quick way to reinforce it you can try singing their favorite songs, playing spaghetti arms in your lap or reading his favorite story. If you mean something a little bigger then you can Pop some popcorn, put on his favorite movie, and have a little movie night with him or Plan a picnic and spend a couple hours at the park.

5 Likes

Until you have a child with ADHD people don’t comment my son has serve adhd often people say there behavior sometimes is an excuse I’m working on behavior with my son now and rewards he is in a special that there are kids just like him sometimes he can’t control himself kids with adhd need to be one a routine have a Set bed time encouragement is a big thing my son is 10 we are working on self
Control

I had a little bit in my Street and I was pregnant at the time he will come into my gate every day on his way to school to hug an kiss me they are so cute an sweet kids God made them special they cling to me any where I am that’s my gift from God ,

Nothing is better for any child than time spent with a loving parent. Less stuff and more experiences and adventures. Tell them how good they are and reinforce positive behavior and accomplishments (even small ones)

2 Likes

Always acknowledge the good behavior! I use his favorite snacks and treats between meals because he doesn’t eat good. Dollar tree toys. His teacher give him hot wheels cars. Oh, time on the tablet, because we limit screen time, a bad day means no games after school. Play time outside with his friend is a big one. His favorite show, like “ok clean up the mess you made and you can watch it”. There’s a lot of bribery and bargaining, or at least it feels that way. A lot LOT of talking, explaining other people’s feelings…
Find your son’s triggers and play on them. Mine is 8. He’s my 3rd of 4 kids, and the ADHD is so severe it interferes with every hour of our/his day, even with meds. Best wishes and big hugs mommy.

Keep him busy and have structure and a schedule for him. Make him tired.

Make a chore and good behavior chart. Keep in on the fridge or somewhere it is immediately visible. Get some gold stars and positive stickers (got all materials at the Dollar store). Be consistent with viewing the chart and every night before bed, if he has done chores, had a good day at school, follow instructions at home, ect…put a gold star or positive sticker on the chart. At the end of the week, reward him. Small reward for mediocre week, bigger reward. My son has autism and needed things to be visual. This worked out really great. He could see exactly what was expected of him for chores and behavior. His is very reward oriented so he could see the chart, see his good progress and know the outcome.

I have adhd and did lots of sports I don’t believe in the whole rewarding thing if he acts out tell him calmly why it’s not okay and punish accordingly but just because he’s good doesn’t mean he should get a prize that’s silly cause then as an teenager he’ll think he needs gifts for everything he does. Don’t treat him differently than any other kid.

I also had a son who has the same problem. I noticed when he was younger that Sesame Street excited him and he was in and out of every room and could not sit still. When Mr. Rogers came on he became very calm, very focused on the program. Calming music, baths at bedtime, reading a story he liked helped him to settle. Having a tight schedule that remains the same as much as possible. Structure and TLC.