He’ll figure it out eventually, we went through it with our youngest son. He finally got tired of dirty and smelly underwear. I absolutely refused to wipe his butt.
10 Likes
My son has adhd and asd. He wiped his butt fine from 4 until 7. Then, at 7, he stopped. He didn’t like getting it on his hands, and I found out he was holding it because he didn’t want to stop what he was doing to go. This resulted in huge poops that hurt when he went. We went to pull ups to encourage him to go in the toilet. Also huggies wipes. These days I always make him try to do it himself first and then help afterward. It’s getting better. Incentives have played a large part.
1 Like
My plumber recently dislodged a huge clog in our main line and it was wet wipes. He said you wouldn’t believe how many clogs he sees caused by these.
1 Like
I gave up trying to have them wipe their butts and instead decided they would be scrubbing their undies if I found poop stains in them. They all might of scrubbed theirs a few times and then they started wiping without a word shortly after. We potty trained using that same method, they pooped in the undies then they could help dump it in the toilet and clean them before the wash. Worked wonders!
5 Likes
I’m going to pass down what everyone told me. He’ll learn when he goes to school! He did! 
You refuse. You explain in calm tones he is a big boy and it’s time for him to wipe his own bottom. Then you leave the bathroom and don’t return. The teachers in Kindergarten will not wipe him.
2 Likes
I had a good talk with my son about him becoming a big boy and going to school. I explained that I wont be there to help him and teachers don’t do this job. I said it was time to learn. I supervised and encouraged him several times, praised him every time. He did very well, gained his confidence and was proud of himself too! A little love, kindness and encouragement goes a long way! 
Ps…having wet wipes available helps! In their back pack too 
1 Like
Easy don’t do it for him tell him when he wipes he can leave the bathroom but until then he can stay in there. That you will not do it bc he is too old to have his bottom wiped by you.
3 Likes
Is this a joke? I wiped my kids butts until they were 10. Take care of your children. They’ll have plenty of time to take care of themselves later.
9 Likes
My son was the same way & I told him to pull his pants up & go play then, he said my butt is still dirty, I said then wipe it because I’m not coming in there to do it for you you’re a big boy now & if you don’t then I guess we put you back in diapers, he was also 5. He didn’t want the diaper & he sat on that porcelain throne for about 10 minutes & came out with clean hands & butt. When he saw me get the diapers out he changed his mind real quick, he didn’t want his friends to see he was still in a diaper.
57 Likes
He can sit in the bathroom until he does it himself. No fun, no electronics or games until he does it. That’s way too old. My daughter did it herself at 2, although I checked it just to make sure she was clean.
6 Likes
We’ve been struggling with my 5yo son on this same issue! Unfortunately one day he pooped, i was busy with the baby and didn’t know so didn’t I check him and he got a bad rash. He’s been much better about it since.
1 Like
Every kid is different. Mine didnt wipe his own until almost or right at 7 i think. But he is also OCD and poop is a trigger.
3 Likes
Guess he will get tired of sitting on the toilet. Does he go to school or daycare? Do they do that for him…ask them to not do that
1 Like
When he asks. Tell him no. My son was very adamant on me wiping him…because he thought he wouldn’t have to wash his hands. So I would make him wash them regardless lol
2 Likes
I told my son he couldn’t go to school with the rest of his friends if he couldn’t go potty by himself. He finally started wiping himself, but would hold it all day at school and poop every single day as soon as he got home.
1 Like
Mine was afraid of getting poop on her hand lol but I just kept showing her how to hold the toilet paper so she won’t get poop on her and told her to keep wiping till the toilet paper is clean she can keep taking more. We definitely kept working on it till she was older than 5. But I did make her do it even though I had to come with her to make sure she did it right but now I don’t have to come with her but it takes awhile
1 Like
Baby Wipes! My son is the same way. But now we all still use wipes, for a better clean. Usually it’s the fear of getting poo on their fingers.
2 Likes
My daughter is 5 and i still wipe her butt at home even tho she can do it by herself she wipe alone at school
4 Likes
I had a third a few months after my middle turned 5. I told him that I could only wipe one butt so he had to start doing it himself. Worked
1 Like
My son was the complete opposite. He wanted to wipe his own bum and one day I was walking down the hallway and glanced in the bathroom and there was my child standing on the sink bent over looking at his butt in the mirror! I said what are you doing?!?! He said, making sure I got all the dookie! 
He was only 4 then. When I tell the story now, he’s 13, he cringes and says well at least you knew my butt was clean!
1 Like
My son is 6. He wipes his own butt. He doesn’t always do a good job. But as long as he does a good enough job at school I’ll clean his underwear later. At home i make him do on his own then i chwck to make sure he’s clean. I think we are about there without needed help
Try to find out why he won’t do it. Maybe he’s afraid of getting it on his hands. Maybe try putting disposable gloves on him and see if he’s more comfortable with that or let him use baby wipes instead of toilet paper
Mine too !!!
Very slow process…I feel like it’s a he doesn’t like his hands getting dirty thing. I keep reminding him he washes his hands when he’s done anyways lol the thought of poop touching his hand still grosses him out 
I had one that yelled for me until 6 and a half lol! I would yell back “you’ve got this!!” But help him sometimes still because it just seemed right. You can teach them to use a washcloth from the bathroom if they feel they are uncomfortable later, and they’ve missed a bit. Much is said for the evening bath though.
be tough, don’t do it, let him throw a fit for an hour, day, week, whatever it takes. let him know kids his age do it & he can too. maybe he needs to start with wash towel & soap until he gets use to paper, but if you continue to do it he will never need to do it on his own.
1 Like
My son is 6 and I still wipe his butt. The thing is. He can do it himself. But always leave poop behind… SO he gets a rash and soreness… so I suck it up and wipe his butt for him every single time. This is nothing to me. I’ve been wiping butts a long time 
One day he won’t want me to or need me to. Who cares. Just wipe his butt lol
I will say there isn’t an age limit to this. I mean elderly people or special needs need help sometimes too.
Hate on me if you want but I still brush my kids teeth as well. I can do it better than them to prevent teeth issues… same concept as wiping butts
Don’t put too much pressure on him all kids develope different. My child used to do the same thing and each time I would help her I used to
Tell her that she’s getting big now and big children don’t have to ask them mommies to do this. Eventually it sunk in and she stopped calling me everytime she went to the loo.
My kid learned with using wipes. Then use a square or two to dry with. That way it doesn’t feel gross when they stood up to pull their clothes back up. Some kids just take a bit longer than others.
My son was the same way I wouldn’t do it. I told him he was too old already. It didn’t help that his grandma or dad would go wipe him. But the one day he was left alone with me he knew it was game over lol
Put 7 of his most favorite toys in the bathroom every time he poops or he wipes his bum give him a toy so he can play with it as a reward. Don’t give it if he if he doesn’t. I am.an ECE I.give this suggestion to all my.parents
We told our son he couldn’t go to school if he didn’t wipe his own butt, and that babies can’t wipe their butts. Worked like a charm. Might not be the nicest approach, but he knew how was just lazy. He gets his baby sister to do things for him all the time.
Granddaughter wipe hers no problem problem was the amount of toilet paper she used. We had to call a plumber to unclog the toilet. She still uses a lot but she puts it in the waste paper can. It is empty everyday. Finding toilet paper was a problem for a while COVID HOARDERS.
My son is refusing to poop in the toilet!! He pees just fine but im tired of the poop underwear! I’ve scolded, I’ve spanked.
.idk what else to do.
I went through this with my daughter. She knew to wipe her own butt, and just wouldn’t for the longest time. We checked her butt after she pooped and when she would get baths. If she was dirty, we’d scold her, and take something away such as tv time, tablet time, or toys. If shes clean we just went about our day. She eventually realized and associated consequence with not wiping and also didn’t enjoy being sent back to the bathroom everytime she used it until she cleaned.
That may not work for everyone, its just what worked with my little. We also got her flushable wet wipes as they made it easier for her and that made a big difference as well.
Let him just sit there until he realises nobody us gonna do it for him.Had to do that with my daughter.It worked.
1 Like
My daughter was exactly 5 n doin the same… got me beyond upset because i have a toddler n newborn as well so i let her sit there till she decided she wanted to b out n wipe herself. I did put baby wipes. Its easier for her. Now shes ok. Took some tough love.
That’s way too old for a 5 year old not knowing how to clean their own butt. My twins knew how to wipe since they were 3 years old. They are 7 now. If they can’t wipe at that age let them stay with poop on their butt, because no teacher wants to clean your butt.
My son is 4 and refuses to wipe. He use to do it. Lol. He has been refusing to change his clothes or take a shower. Until I tell him he will be stinky and itchy. Lol
We told our son you have to learn because at school they can’t help you, so if you want to go to school you gotta do it
My son was like this till he went to school and saw the other boys could do it haven’t had to wipe since
I let them wipe,I check to make sure there clean,poop causes problems if left behind.we start them out cleaning there butts,then we just expect them to be able to do this on there on,why?? They don’t know how,now just let them try with you still there for a few days,then when you think they have it down,let them have at it,the underwear will tell the truth.
Most kids want to start with wipes. Maybe do like an incentive for him if he does it on his own.
Just don’t do it. he will then deal with an ouchy itchy bum and he will learn to do it the hard way, sometimes tough love is needed
My daughter started school right after turning 4 and they won’t help them wipe at school. So she had to learn. She’s 5 now and she tries, but isn’t always good at it. I always wipe her afterwards. Luckily she doesn’t usually poo at school.
My 4 year old was the same way!! I figured out that it was because she was worried about getting pee or poop on her hands. I explained that when you are done you wash your hands. It took some time and reminding but she now wipes and washes her hands afterwards! Maybe try figuring out why he is so against it? Good luck mama!
My son was damn near 10 years old, because he says it was gross, we left him sit on the toilet he didn’t care, we bribed him, we did everything ten one day he just started
My son is 6 and still doesn’t, but he’s gradually doing it. It’s an age thing… By age 7 he probably want to do it
My daughter did the same thing and I just stopped coming when she called. She has pretty severe anxiety about accidentally touching poop though. She won’t wipe without a baby wipe so she has never pooped at school.
My son is 5 in 2 weeks and throws a fit if I don’t. So all last week I’ve been handing him the toilet paper and standing with him encouraging him. At one point today he did it all on his own. It’s almost like it was the last “baby moment” he had with me so I kinda get it - they like to hold onto those moments just as we do.
Encourage your kiddo and be understanding that, although it seems small to us, it’s a big transition for them.
Also, my son HATES being dirty so reassuring he can always wipe a second time if needed has helped. He had the mindset it was one and done kinda deal lol
1 Like
My oldest did the same and then when I stoped he just didn’t care if he was cleaned even at 7 he still didn’t I finally told him his but was going to get all crusted up and he wasn’t going to be able to go to the bathroom and the doctor would have to take him for surgery on his butt. He didn’t want that so it changed real quick
1 Like
Does he not know how? Maybe because it’s behind him and he can’t see it? Maybe try hanging a mirror on the wall so he can see what needs to be cleaned.
My daughter does this too, she is also five, but the craziest part is she wiped herself from 3 to about 4 1/2 and then just decided one day she needs me to do it.
With both of my kids and every nephew\niece I’ve trained I’ve showed them all how to wipe then I’d tell them to wipe their own butt’s. It works every time and if they hollered I’d ignore em
My son is 6 and still has trouble bc it’s hard for him to reach back there. And he can’t really get it cleaned.
I told my kids, once they get to 1sy grade, moms dont wipe butts anymore. My first grader is struggling bc she said poop is gross…and I’m like "I know, that’s why you’re gonna wipe your butt, mommy will wipe hers
I looked up ‘crusty scabby bums’ on google and told my kid that happens from not wiping properly (her issue was not wiping properly) consider the issue solved!
Some kids will literally not care and sit in it. Then rhe school steps in and says your kid needs clean underwear for you to change them into. I would recommend wipes and a reward system.
When you find out let me know. My son is 9 and it’s a struggle to get him to wipe his butt at all . I do not wipe it for him considering he is starting to go through some changes down there and it’s time he has his privacy to his body. But like damn boy, wipe yo ass or clean your own underwear
My son is 5 too and won’t wipe. He knows how to but sometimes he just don’t want to just from being lazy
I think it’s a boy thing. My daughter was always more independent but my 5-year old still wants his butt wiped 
I tell mine he’ll get worms in it if he doesn’t tell him mommy’s not going to be with you at school and the teachers not allowed so you have to do it yourself or you’re going to get worms I send him to school with wet wipes and he knows the wipes go in the trash not the potty
I had to buy my son baby wipes. Then he uses baby wipes and throws them in trashcan when done.
Try kandoos for him, that way when he sees no poop on the wet kandoo it’s clean
A bidet will clean it. They make all kinds from $20 to hundreds of dollars.
Maybe a rewards system? When he wipes himself he can have a small treat or play a game he likes or something?
It will pass… what worked for us is insisting that the baby try first.
Flushable wipes always helped because it’s easier for the child to get clean, less frustrating.
ask him why. kids don’t try to be difficult. they don’t always know how to say what’s wrong.
Baby wipes are great. I use them as an adult. And my kids are much cleaner since using them too. It makes the job a lot easier and cleaner. And there are flushable wipes.
My daughter is 3 and I wipe her butt for poop, but my strategy for potty training in general was candy bribes. You could try stickers or m&ms until it’s a habit.
Ok tell him you will but don’t and then just tell him you tried and tell him when he come plans that you didn’t do it write than tell him to do a better job at it then you
Oh the memories of my kids, “Mom! Come wipe my butt”!!
Both of mine managed to self handedly move on from needing my assistance and are happily in their late 20’s, living life their way. Try not to sweat the small stuff too much! Enjoy the ride…it’s a fast one!!
My son was the same way maybe try some flushable wipes instead of toilet paper
Goodness me tell him you can deal with diaper rash cream and the itches your old enough to do it yourself its not bad unless you forget to wash your hands after somethin GB i told my son lmao
My son uses wipes. His sensory with toilet paper is unreal.
Mine won’t try either. They’re 5 and 6. I asked my daughter what she does at kindergarten. She says I only poop at home lol
Same here with my son. It’ll happen eventually, don’t worry! 
I had the same issue with my 5yr old until I bought him wipes
My granddaughter had this problem. She was a lot older… got her cottonell wipes problem was solved. Might be worth a try
This should have been dealt with way sooner! Possibly? Not your fault!..,
My sister threatened her son with school…who is going to do it in school???
Ask if he figures if he leaves it there, that it might climb back in his butt and hide out there for the next time he sits down jk I have no idea
I offered flushable wipes. They just did it eventually.
We still use wipes but bought diaper trash bags to throw them in the trash
Flushable wipes and a round decent size mirror thats the only way my son will wipe his own butt and hes 9
Wipe to rough he won’t like that.
6 Likes
Does he go to school?
I’m trying to teach my little great granddaughter she turning 4 next month is not easy
My daughter is 5 and is the exact same way… Following
Why would you put that on here about your kid
My son uses a whole toilet paper roll to wipe his butt! Arghhhh
1 Like
If he won’t wipe it oh well let him smell
1 Like
Just refuse he will learn it would be messy for a couple but he will learn
He sits on the potty til he is ready to wipe his bum… it wont take long. I had to do this.
1 Like
Start letting him wash his underwear.
1 Like
He might like cleaning himself with water 
Tell him he can’t leave the toilet until he wipes and then don’t let let him leave the toilet
They have to know before school they will not help them
We have a bidet which helps a lot
1 Like