My son has two beautiful kids. My grandkids. He got mad at me for some reason I don’t even know, and he will not let me and my husband see our grandkids. My granddaughter will be 11 In July and my grandson is 7 . The last time I saw them they were 2 and 8months. I had major depression over this . I am better now, but it still hurts a lot . Especially on Birthdays and holidays. I heard Dr Phil say this is emotional abuse. Is there anything I can do?
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Yea, when an adult goes no contact. It’s your fault. You do know what happen. You just don’t want to face it. And an answer you your question. Their is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
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Well did you ask your son why he won’t let you see them? It’s not emotional abuse to cut you out if their lives if he feels what’s best for them is for you not to be in their lives. My daughter has no idea who my mother is because my mother was completely toxic and I cut her off.
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If those children were 2 years old and 8 months old then you did something major that made him to completely restrict y’all’s access. Have you even tried talking to him like sitting down just you him and your husband and see what’s going on? I doubt after all these years he’ll even come around. U might want to think reallly hard about what may have caused it. People don’t just completely cut people off for good and forbid them access unless they did something pretty bad to them.
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WHY did he get mad is the question? He’s been holding on to something for almost a decade and you have no idea what it is 
really feel like we’re not getting the full story on this one. And if we are you should reach out. Ask him why he holds that hate in his heart for you. Don’t quote me on it but most of the time grandparents rights aren’t a thing. At least in my state they’re certainly not.
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To keep the children away for that amount of time it must have been somewhat of a big deal and upset him very much. Something must have happened. Have you tried having a conversation with him about it? Have you reached out or just let it be in silence all these years? Think there is something more going on here
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If your state allows grandparents visitation; get an attorney and start the process. In Missouri it’s only 30 minutes once or twice a month, but that’s better than nothing. Good luck! I can’t imagine not being a part of my grandchildren’s lives.
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Oh, I’m sure you know the reason. People always know why someone is keeping their distance.
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My daughter will NEVER have a relationship with her biological grandfather because he is toxic. The same goes for any other person in her life that is or becomes toxic. You’re not entitled to a place in those children’s lives simply because you are blood related. A parent withholding their child from someone who is not adding quality to their life is not emotional abuse. With all of that said, if you truly did not do something heinous enough to warrant this treatment, try working on the relationship with your son before approaching the situation with your grandchildren.
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It’s not your right to be in their lives, it’s a privelage. I would just have a conversation. If they cut you off there’s a reason. They have a right to cut out toxic people from their lives and do what’s best for them
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Were missing his side of the story.
There is always a reason. Have you ever asked him why? Or do you just get mad and argue instead of listen?
He obviously cut you out of their lives for a reason
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I had a very difficult relationship with my mother. However I never kept my children from seeing her. Children need and should have all the love and support ftom their loved ones. The disagreements between the adults should not involve the children. Just be civil when picking up and dropping off the children. Unless the grandparents are druggies alcoholics or criminals! Geez people leave the children out of it.
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There has to be a reason for your child to have cut you off from them and their children. Nobody does it for “no reason.” Do some self reflection and see what you can own up to that may have caused this; it’s been ten years, it may be too late by now.
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I guarantee there were issues and you just didn’t listen. Lol! They always say “for no reason” or “idk why”.
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It’s been almost a decade. Sorry but it’s too late for anything to change.
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My brother and I had to cut our mother out completely, blocked her and refuses to speak to her because she treated us horribly and blamed every single problem she have on us. Even worse, she stalked my nephew few times after my brother repeatedly told her that he doesn’t want her to visit certain days due to schedule conflicts. Bottom line is that she is very toxic and constantly being so negative about everything, doesn’t care about her own kids at all, is beyond obsessed with our children. Ever since we blocked/cut her out of our lives, our mental health hugely improved. We don’t need to deal with stress and drama at all.
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Sounds like you’re not giving your side and what you or your husbands actions or words were to cause this situation. Or maybe lack of respect for their boundaries? Kids well loved and taken care of don’t miss out when someone isn’t in their life. If it gave you depression I can’t image how the child who had to cut their parents out felt.
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Ma’am you know what happened and I can tell already youre VERY good at playing the poor pitiful me game
How bout you take some time to reflect and make some positive life changes and Idk talk to your child maybe? Not to guilt them but to test the waters
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I am not talking to my mom over something so small that turned into something so big because of her. I also just had a baby and have not sent her pictures or anything. Your child is now an adult that doesn’t have to include you on their life. It hurts us too but not worth the drama.
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You absolutely know why you got cut off. The refusal to take any accountability is why you will never be allowed contact. You want to see those kids: grow up, get therapy and make changes. Then apologize. This isn’t an overnight thing.
You have no rights as a grandparent and even if you tried filing a lawsuit, you’re creating more tension and hostility.
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I’m sorry I had to learn to not be bitter with my kids mom - and my own because I know grandparents love their grandchildren regardless of our disagreements! Have you tried reaching out least you say he got mad at you and hasn’t got over it! Obviously your apologetic…. we are all humans and make mistakes people act like their so perfect!! Do you send postcards and still send presents over! Keep trying don’t give up. Keep bugging keep and asking to see them so the kids know and when they are older they will want to come around on their own if there dad never gets get over it.
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We are missing half the story!
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I’m sorry 
my parents aren’t my favorite people in the world but I would never do that to them or my kids. My kids love my parents and my parents are such great grandparents.
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I mean they are 7 and 11 and the last time you saw them they were 8m and 2 years? That math don’t add up. If the girl is 11 and the boy is 7 than the boy would not have been born when she was 2.
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There is nothing you can do as he is the parent and can desire who sees his kids and who doesn’t see them.
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I feel like it depends on the circumstance, regarding the emotional abuse thing. If you truly don’t know, maybe reach out, ask what you did to upset him and how you can correct it and make up for it and let him know that you miss being in their lives.
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No one cuts their parent off for 9 years for nothing.
Make up with your son, prove to him that you can be a loving and respectful part of his life, and then he might allow you back into his family.
If you sue them for grandparents rights, expect to lose them forever.
Y’all stop being so negative geesh u dk what happend or why he is mad so quit projecting your own shit on to this lady just bc some of u had crappy relationships with your own family don’t always mean its the parents fault for all u know it could be his fault or wifes fault or what ever . I Don’t know whose at fault but the best thing to do is talk and find out then I will know
If your adult children don’t want to see you, it is a 99% probability it’s your fault. Have you ever reached out & asked what you did, apologised etc? Lmao, 9 years later & now you’re concerned? Did you ever reach out? Visit? Call the kids? Did you emotionally damage them, or your son?
Unfortunately no. It’s his decision. It sounds shitty for him to do that. That is something I would never do to my mom, no matter what she did. In my book that’s unforgivable. But that’s just me
Your asking everyone here for some type of supportive opinion but have left out a component of the equation, someone has behaved toxically, whether it was you 9 years ago when he cut you off or you when he was a child, this is symbolic of dysfunction
Chances are you said or did something and don’t realize or want to acknowledge it. I would ask for him to sit down with you and hash it all out. Listen to what he has to say and maybe it will start the healing process. I cut contact because she was toxic and narcissistic.
My son and his gf did the same thing to me. Ive never even met one of my grandbabies. They got mad when I stopped paying for all their stuff, groceries etc. They treated me horribly and I always had my granddaughter Havent seen my first one in 3 years. Its true what they say…no one can break your heart as much as your own child.
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If your adult children go non contact then you need to really look at what you’ve done and go to therapy. You have to know why. 
smh
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I would start with a conversation with your child to restore the relationship and be open to working on the trust that was lost before trying to foist yourself onto the grandkids.
What did you do?Dr. phil is not a real anything he is a talk show host and often hurts more then he helps.
I think you know exactly what you did and if you really don’t i don’t understand how almost a decade later you haven’t atleast talked to your son and asked why he cut contact with you.
Which i bet you have but you didn’t like his answer.
Just because your child has kids does not entitle you access to them especially if you were a toxic parent and or a toxic person in general.
I don’t know if you were a toxic mother or what cause you haven’t really told us much. The most you should do is talk,listen and sincerely (actually mean it) apologize and if he still doesn’t want to open up contact then i guess hope your grandkids will want to see you when they get older.
You do know what happened because your saying “I’m better now” meaning something must of happened back then for him to not let you see them. And you don’t take stupid amount of years to say oh what do I do now. You clearly didn’t fight to see them early enough and the grandkids could be very confused if you suddenly turned up after all these years
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Reach out to your son and try to reconcile. But if I’m being honest… waiting nearly 10 years to decide to walk back in… doubt it’s gonna happen just like that!
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Oh you know! You just don’t agree that it’s as big as he thinks it is.
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It probably was something you did to his wife. Just call and say you are sorry.And don’t nose into their business.You haven’t been trying very hard to find out…Call,write leave messages. So your husband is shut our too?
This is not emotional abuse. I’m sure you know exactly why he won’t let you see them. I don’t allow my mom near my daughter either.
I’m sorry. I’d get an attorney and take him to court.
You don’t even know? Is that right? Have you asked or tried to work it out?
Did my MIL write this. Jk😂 but sounds just like her
HE GOT MAD AT ME FOR SOME REASON I DONT EVEN KNOW…think on that honey, there is always a reason 
I hope that you all get your relationships back
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Stop being a narcissist 
Usually we cut off toxic parents for a reason…
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The fact you don’t know the reason is proof that you are toxic AF and should just stay away.
Call my mother in law. Y’all can commiserate together. And maybe even do a little self assessing. I can tell by how flippantly and dismissively you mention maybe doing “something” to make him mad that you and my mother in law would get along splendidly!!!
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I’m betting your son has told you many many times what you did wrong you just either chose to not listen or you turned it back o n him and told him it’s his fault. 
I bet asking what’s wrong and a sincere apology would fix everything
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Sounds like u might be in denial about what you know you did. Maybe he’s protecting the kids. Good luck though
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Well it depends on the reason. Do you really not know? Or are you choosing not to remember?
He has the right to keep his kids from you if he believes you were toxic or abusive? Did you respect his & their mothers parenting? Or were you the type of grandparent who constantly overrode their parenting?
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How terribly sad for all involved.
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There’s more to this then just,idk why…I’m sure you know why but don’t want anyone to know.Remember,grand parents aren’t entitled to their grand babies
He’s told you exactly why. Get some therapy and work on yourself.
I guess my first question is what kind of cold hearted ignorant moron would put a laughing emoji on a post like this. You morons really need to check yourself.
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Hmmm hard to believe you don’t know why…
Wow the amount of hate on assumptions here. If your state has grandparents rights get an attorney and go for it. Before any of you hateful individuals jump on my comment 20 years in the legal field doing this exact thing, so do not reply with any of the you haven’t seen them in such and such time. Blah blah blah… I don’t want to read your opinion unless you’re a judge 
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Always a reason why …ALWAYS
8yrs??? I would have gone over 8yrs ago.
You don’t know why your own child cut you off? Come on now.
I agree not all grand parents have rights to see there grand children
Wow, so many of you THINK you know she is the problem… You don’t know that, you have no freaking clue what happened, it could have been something like they didn’t get their way, it could be any number of things, but you are chastising this woman like you know she did something when you have no idea. And this is coming from someone who has cut her father out of her life, you don’t know anyone’s situation for you to say either way
Are you my mother in law? 
toxic is toxic.
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He’s just mad at you and you don’t know why? You definitely need to come on here until the full story to get actual advice. 
there’s no way he cuts contact for 9 years and she doesn’t know why!
Don’t know the whole story or laws in your state
He has his reasons and owes u nothing…
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Grandparents have no rights unless the parents agree.
As a parent myself who has had to cut my mother off due to her drug use. It’s such a sad thing to have to do. I choose to have nothing to do with her because we can’t have a healthy relationship because of the obvious. I was still willing to allow her to see the kids but on a quick visit kind of basis and for the sake of my kids just wanting to see grandma. Well, she got mad because I chose not to have her watch my kids when I went to have my last son born earlier this year. She chose to leave any and all items of mine and my kids as well as gifts we had gave her over the last year… Burned at my doorstep one morning and all due to me having to keep a safe distance. The worse part of it is we had just came back into her life not even a year ago because of prior issues. My over all point is I would never and have never kept my children from her although given the last couple months that’s a decision as a parent and for the safety of my family I did have to make. I hate hearing that about your son and if anything was done on your part just own it and apologize and pray about it. Pray that he heals any wounds that may be and that your family can grow together again. If it’s on your son and he just is holding something against you then all you can do is pray. I’ll keep you in mine as well because I know how this can affect a family. Hopefully not due to the same reasons.
“For some reason” you know what you did!! 
Lol you haven’t seen them in like 7 years and you are actually asking this question? Those aren’t your grandkids, they don’t even know you.
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You let a whole decade go by without trying to figure out why your son was mad at you? Kids don’t just cut their parents off for no reason. There’s obviously something you did to your child or grandchildren which lead to this and you’re not willing to admit it. This isn’t emotional abuse, this sounds like you getting exactly what you deserve. If you want to repair the damage, then reach out, and work on fixing your relationship with your son. Do whatever it takes to help him heal from your actions, and then maybe you’ll earn the ability to see your grandchildren.
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Surely you have to know a little something as to why he has cut you off from your own grandchildren for this long. There has to be more to the story
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Your side… Their side. The truth…
This post ain’t the full picture
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There has to be A reason . You need to talk to him and get him to say what is it exactly that made him not let you guys see the grandkids .
Stunned by the amount of people encouraging a woman to take her son to court for “grandparents rights”. This kind of advice is what keeps this kind of court involvement going. To be a grandparent is a privilege, not a birth right. I can almost guarantee you know exactly why he is mad. You wouldn’t wait 9 years to figure it out. Also, good luck in your endeavor. Read your states grandparents rights qualifications because you likely stand no chance if he is married and in agreement with his wife on why they don’t see you. The fact you consider this emotional abuse to YOU says a lot about the situation. It puts you in the victim mindset when obviously a very important piece of this puzzle is missing. Before you involve the courts you should try to have a very meaningful and honest conversation with your son— otherwise you might be putting yourself on the path of more disappointments and “emotional abuse”.
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It depends what you did!? I’m sure my mother in her head feels she did absolutely nothing wrong by moving into her daughter’s childhood abusers house and telling her to get over it because it was years ago and people change 
That woman will never see me or my children ever in her life time… like I said it really depends on what you did and what you’re willing to do to fix it.
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There has to be a lot more to the story. All you can and should do is reach out to your child and try and mend that fence. Yes you miss your grand children but you really should be missing your own children first and fixing that relationship. As a parent we need to protect our children and even if we don’t always make the best choices we have our reasons. If they are being kept from you there is a reason.
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This post is really strange to me. Especially as a therapist, I feel like people don’t just cut people out of their lives for no reason but no one is entitled to someone else’s children outside of the parents and even then, it is about keeping the children safe so instead of asking what can be done, I’d be asking what happened and pinpointing that from all aspects as well as attempting to talk it out with your son and seeing why he feels that is in their best interest. Many parents are unable to recognize the trauma they have caused their children as many people parent the way they were parented and how you identify your relationship or how you raised your son could look VERY different to him than it does to you and it would be good to try and gain a better understanding around that and attempting to work through some of it.
Send a 8 word letter: I’m sorry. I love you. Please forgive me.’
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If your child has cut ties with you, look inside… parents are the damn worst about self reflecting on their behavior. If your children cut you out maybe you should put as much energy into mending than posting on social media 
For one start with talking to your son and finding out exactly what you did to make him so mad. Then try to make a mends. Nearly nine years is a long time.
I can tell you right now suing him for grandparents visitation is not going to make things better and seeing as you haven’t been in their lives but I doubt you will get it.
You don’t even know what you did? Definitely you guys did something whether you feel it’s wrong or not obviously he feels it’s incredibly wrong. The fact that you don’t know and you’re worried about seeing your grandkids I think is the problem. Wanted to heal your relationship with your child first. I’m not trying to be mean. What you did to be really serious and you’re just being completely obtuse or it could be something trivial and he is being over dramatic. Either way it’s a big enough pain for him that he’s willing to cut you out of his life.
I would write your son a letter. Tell him that you miss him and love him. I mean only if you really do if it’s just about getting the grandkids and you don’t love or miss your son then you should just stay away out of respect. But if not tell him that you love him and you miss him but most of all you want to know how you hurt him so that you can begin to help him heal for the benefit of everyone. If you make it about you it’s not going to go well if you make it about the kids you’ll probably have the same results. You hurt him in such a way that he cut you out so you need to help him heal. You need to fix your relationship with him and as a consequence you’ll be able to have a relationship with the grandkids. Nothing can be done in a healthy way until you figure out what happened and start there.
First try having a talk with him and find out why he’s upset with you
Court but don’t put those kids through that. Apologize to your son for whatever reason. You take that first step and apologize who knows it could be all that he needs to hear
I imagine you know what you did to piss him off. Not all grandparents are meant to be grandparents.
Obviously it was serious enough to warrant you not seeing your grandchildren and you have no idea why? Maybe you should pay attention
I’m dealing with cutting contact with grandparents. If he went no contact then you did something serious and need to figure that out. Seek a therapist and work on your self. Stop blaming him, those are his kids. If he feels your not a safe person for them to be around then that’s his choice. My in laws refuse to address issues the kids brought to our attention that hurt their feelings and upset them. They made up a problem with me to reflect the problem that I’m the problem. They are narcissist and won’t admit they were wrong. So maybe do some self reflection and see what you find. Any parent has the right to protect their kids.
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My mother cut me out of my grandma’s life constantly…using me as a pawn…but once I was old enough I spent as much time with her as I could before she passed. To me, she was awesome. Leave the kids out of adult issues…if they are loved and taken care of don’t take that away from them. There’s so much hate in this world.
Have a good hard think about what you may have done …. You know exactly why…. Now make amends
That along time for not seeing them think you should have offered olive branch before now .think u have left it too long maybe you did something that really upset them there must have been reason write to him .
We are not getting the full story because you obviously did something horrendous and don’t want us to see you in a bad light as well.
Figure it out and deal with it.
There’s more to the story. Kids don’t ban their parents from seeing the grandkids for no reason. Maybe be truthful and admit what happened.
There’s more to this story…
Emotional abuse depends on what was behind him not letting you. I have a feeling there is more to the story that you aren’t telling us…
Instead of legal action, talk to your kid. Ask why they won’t let you see your grandkids. Listen to what they say. Don’t jump down their throat and blame them. Obviously there was something that happened that made him cut you out of their lives.