You need a lawyer but am pretty sure he can stop you from leaving if he has one too. Because he has been helping in his way and in the child’s life with the right lawyer it will count as a form of child support.
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If there’s no custody agreement he can’t tell you not to leave, if there is there should be a section that explains what to do when moving out of state
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If you are in the state in which he was born, you cannot leave, without his consent. I went through it in Yuma. Thankfully, my husband was military and his command helped me get home. But, it will be kidnapping!
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I’m sorry, but this is something you should have thought about before getting involved with someone in the military. I was dating someone in the Navy and broke things off when I realized that there was a very real chance that he wasnt gonna be stationed here forever. My daughter’s dad is very active in her life and I would never think of moving her away from him.
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I don’t blame him tbh, let his father have him & you go a child deserves both parents.
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Does he have a relationship with your son? If so, you shouldn’t be trying to take that away from him. That’s just wrong on so many levels.
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This is a tricky situation. You guys were co parenting without any problems . Then you marry a woman and want to take off with the child 
I do understand your frustration with not being in the same house as your partner but as parents we must put our children first . How old is the child? Did you ask him or her what they want to do ? If the child is school age will they want to leave their friends?? Also how were you maintaining you rent before you met this person? It seems like if you are having a hard time you should perhaps go back to school. Change your job field or something therefore you don’t have to be codependent on someone else’s income to support you and you’re child.
A lot of thought has to be put into this , it’s not a fly by night situation !!
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Unless u have a order saying u cant move out of state then he can not stop u.
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This is terrible parenting on your part. Your new partner has nothing to do with whats best for the child. YOU are being selfish. Not him.
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Go to court and get a custody agreement set up that works for you living in different states.
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If hes not bothering to pay child support and there is not court custody i would move he sounds controlling and jealous and sounds like hes not over you thats probably why he hates your wife for no reason he will turn toxic to make himself happy and you miserable
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You are going to need to file with the courts and let a judge decide. If u take ur child out of state dad can get u for kidnapping. I don’t see where the dad is being petty and selfish. He wants to see his kid. Now if he wasn’t involved u would complain he isn’t around. Sounds like he’s a good dad who just wants to be close to his child. Only way to solve this is let the judge decide what’s best for ur child.
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This is ridiculous. Sorry but the selfish person in this is you. You didn’t state any valid reason of how it will better your future, other than being able to live with your wife. You said the child is happy and loved, the don’t take that away from him. I would be furious if my s/o wanted to leave state with my child or without. Sounds like you have a good system, just leave it that way.
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If you are legally married to your wife and she is getting stationed somewhere else then do this correctly and go to court and set up a visitation schedule for dad depending on how old the child is he can get 50% of the time but warning you may have to split the year and have to pay all or half of the travel. Your child deserves to have equal time with his father. Don’t just move because they can force you to move back plus that’s just shitty.
Idk what state you’re in, but in arkansas if yall weren’t married at the time of birth, he has no parental rights unless he’s established them in a court of law
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Unfortunately legally court can stop you from leaving the state. If shes in military and you get housing allowance use it for one(yours as baby’s with you) she may still be allowed sleep in barricks(to save money) she’ll have her ask. As far as child support I custody is 50/50 NEITHER party has to pay. All that being said your wife is amazing thankful for her service. You are stronger than you know. Not everyone can handle the distance I know y’all don’t want to. I wish you all luck.
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Not to many of you understood she wasn’t trying to keep him from not being in his life no reason they can’t work something out he just being all about him not the child
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One of my friends took her daughter and moved just one state away it was only a 1.5hr distance but she lost custody over it because the father didnt give his consent. You need to have a solid plan when it comes to school/support system also. If the child has already started school that would be grounds to not allow a move.
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Every state has different guidelines and laws regarding this issue. It’s best that you talk to a family lawyer and see what your options are. My child’s father is on the birth certificate but we have no custody agreement and im free to move to anywhere I want as long as it’s within the U.S.
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The courts most likely won’t give you permission to leave state with his child. You can’t have equal time while leaving in a different state. Not possible especially when he reaches school age and you can’t expect the dad to uproot his life just so you can be closer to your wife and for you. It isn’t about you anymore. But your child. You talk About him not helping support your child but then say you basically split custody. So he shouldn’t pay you support if he has him the same as you. You can’t just take a child from his other parent to be with your partner and a court won’t grant that. The court will say they can’t stop YOU from going but that you can’t take your child. So if you think he’s being so unreasonable. Why not leave your child with his dad and co parent with him from where your moving since you think he can do the same? Switch your roles
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Would you be happy if the shoe was on the other foot? Probably not.
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If there is no custody agreement he can’t tell you what to do so do what you pleased and until he takes you to court there’s nothing he can do and I’m pretty sure all kinds of people live in separate states from their kids at that point you guys would just have to figure out a good visit schedule
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If he is a good, present father you should put you sons needs before your own. Young boys need their father. As parents we sacrifice for our kids.
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Go to court… I live in Washington my ex husband is in Alaska he gets kids all summer no problems
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So I’m in the military and I’m now stationed overseas when my sons dad originally said he would never agree to let my son leave the state much less the country. So it can be done. But I just TOLD my sons dad that he was leaving the country. He refused of course but in court the judge allowed me to leave with my son. You just have to adjust parenting time, it can be done 
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How far are you exactly moving?? That does play factor as well. If its still.driving distance like 1-2 hours I’d say go to court and see what they say. However the father has a right to deny you cause you are making the custody arrangements alot harder…
You can go to court and see if the judge allows it… However I would like to point out that your ex is not being selfish because he wants his son to stay close by. You want to move for your own reasons, but it doesn’t better your son to take him away from his father. You can’t continue 50/50 in another state. Your son will start school in a few years and how do you think that will work out? You dont seem to be looking at things from any other angle but the angle that works for you and your wants
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Petition the court. My ex tried that and the judge told him to fuck off
Girl , it’s ur life not his , ur desition not his ! If u offered all that ti him and he still say no then atleast u tryed to work with him ,
As long as he still gets his visits there is nothing he can. Do about u moveing !!! He can’t tell u no for one bc it’s not his place ti tell u no , if ur co parenting and he still gets his days and everything is fine then u go for it , u do what’s best for ur SON not his dad not u but for ur SON ! , If it’s a better opportunity then go 
u don’t have to have his permission to leave ur grown yes y’all have a child together but that has nothing to do with it , if he’s still getting his visit and also video and all that then nothing is changing besides the state lol , u do what is best for u , if he don’t like it he can see u in court
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I mean you can always give the dad full custody and you can go live with your wife 
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He has just a much a right to his child as you do. If he takes him for half the week, is a good and present parent, you don’t have the right to guilt him into letting you take his child away because you miss your other half. That’s apart of the package when coparenting a child with someone. That’s also part of the package when it comes to marrying someone in the military. You’ll have to do what other couples do when their partners are in the military and hold down the fort at home until they’re able to come back home.
Try to flip the roles. How would you feel about letting dad have primary custody and YOU get to see him during holidays/etc. If you wouldn’t be willing to do that, you shouldn’t expect him to. You also shouldn’t expect your child to have to be apart from his father either. Sorry, girl. I’m with your ex.
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Dads have rights too
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If I were to move my child would be coming with me. I would just check with the court and prove you have tried on many occasions to come to a happy medium proving your not just trying to rip the baby away it’s not that deep as people are making it and again just go to court
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It sounds like he is in his sons life. If that is the case how is moving out of state better for your son when it means his dad will not be able to be around more? That is 100% not selfish of the father. That is his baby too.
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This is absolutely ridiculous. That IS you taking him from his father. Sounds to me like he’s a good, present father. No reason he isn’t fine where you are. “For the better of my child.” No way. This is all about you and YOU are being the selfish one. Let the kid be near his dad… stop making everything about yourself. When you had a kid, it was time for you to think about them not yourself. Why not leave the child with the father and you co parent from where you are since that’s what you want?
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If shes really your wife then you can take that proof in and get an order saying you can leave. You’re married and they always take that into account. Seen it happen before…
Consult a lawyer because in Texas married or not, father has 50/50 rights until a judge changes it. I know this because i have 6 kids with mine, he has 50/50.
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I moved away when my sons dad was in prison doesn’t make me a bad person. It means I made better plans for my life and my baby was going with me!
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you keep him 6 months and let him have the other 6 months
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Its the military. He has no say. Take him to court and show the court its in the best interest of the childs wellbeing to move and then get a long distance parenting plan so that he can see his child as well or the child stays with his dad and you see him occasionally.
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Well, leave him with his dad…if you want to go, go. But dont separate your son from his dad. Mostly if he’s a good dad.
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You aren’t trying to give your son a better life you’re trying to be with your wife. You offered to help the dad move closer yeah that’s cool and all but is he supposed to relocate every time your wife has to move? Sorry but it’s not fair. There’s no way you guys are going to come up with a completely fair coparenting plan when you’re both in two different states. No judge would agree to something that’s not going to provide stability. Then when school comes around does dad just get screwed with holidays? You aren’t putting yourself in his shoes.
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I’d go to court, you have said you will work with him and keep things 50/50 so he is acting unreasonable in my eyes (of course I’m no expert)
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Go to court and ask the judge to move. He doesn’t have to give permission.
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Parents figure it out everyday think bout the kids who have dads always on the road. Does that make them bad bc they are never with there kids and always on the road. 
You have the right to leave, just not to take the child. Go ahead and leave the child with him and move, and you yourself accept the limited visitation you were offering him. Also since you are the one moving you need to pay all expenses for you visitation travel. You expect him to be ok with this arrangement. Even going so far as to call him selfish for wanting to be close to his child. So you should be ok with the switch. If you are not then you should be able to see how he feels about it. Shame on you.
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And no you can’t just get up and go. Dad has as many rights as you do. The state your son is , is his state of residence. You can take him out for say a vacation but not a permanent move . A lot of people think the mom has full say but that’s just not the case. If you can’t prove that this move is what’s best for the child the chances of you being able to move are pretty slim.
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Dads have rights as well. Try to see it from his point of view he gets to see his child every week and thats going to change if you move. Sounds like your also being the selfish one.
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I for one am very confused on your post like…you were with your wife before you got pregnant? So did you cheat on her (I know this isnt the point I’m getting there) many that know me would say I’m one to talk for what I’m gonna say but…how does moving to another state benefit your son? I get that you want to move away, but your sons father is involved. That’s amazing a lot of dads out there dont want to be involved…
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You didn’t say how far away( state you want to move to) it sounds to me like you want to take your son away from his father who has had him 3 days a week. If your states away, how is this going to work? I understand you wanting to be with your wife but I do feel for the father and understand where he’s coming from, it’s not in your sons best interest to move and not to get to see the father, have you thought how you would feel if he wanted to take your son and move to another state and you didn’t get to have him the 4 days a week?
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Get a lawyer because it’s different everywhere. In Texas regardless of marriage, father usually has all rights the mother has(mine does) a lawyer will know laws and can guide you.
I would give anything to have my boys dad in his life. He passed all because you went and got married that’s so selfish. He also deserves to be in his life.
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Well sorry not sorry but you can’t leave with your son unless he says so so if you want to go let him have your son n you get the summers then how would you feel would you let him leave state with him shoe on other foot
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Only one that sounds selfish here is you. What an entitled and self absorbed post.
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Take him to court your legal spouse is in the military and based out of state so that may help you because of the situation the court may give you permission themselves and set up a custody schedule
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It’s what’s best for you and your wife, not your son. It sounds like you co parent well and your son has two parents close by who love him and spend equal time with him. You want to move him away from his father to be closer to your wife, who could be deployed to another state anytime. That’s not fair, and asking him to chase you and your wife wherever you go isn’t fair either. You’re being selfish and unreasonable imo.
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Go to court, split the time.
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Put your kid first. Stay put.
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Even if you go to court it probably wont be approved.
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First off your selfish as hell. To even think to damage your child for someone else. YOU SUCK. And no excuses for it. It would never be better for a child to get pulled from other parent. Give him full custody. And as for your wife she selfish also. Both y’all need to kick rocks and give that child to his daddy who knows his child comes first
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Sounds like he saying no just to be a jerk.
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The kid comes first. It isn’t about you or the dad. The best thing for your child is to stay so he has both his parents in his life. That’s the kind of sacrifices a parent has to make. A selfless parent, that is. I hope everything works out for you all.
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I think most of u women are reading or seeing this situation in a different way then she’s trying to explain it , she’s not takeing the child away from the father nor trying to move away bc she has a new partner lol ,
That’s like y’all saying if u have a kid with someone u have to stay in the same area bc they have a child lol , if one parent wonts to move they can u don’t have to be up the other parents ass bc u have a child , she wants to better her life amd her son , that’s all that matters if anyone is being selfish it’s the father , shit he still gets his visits , plus more !!! He should be greatful he even gets that some would move amd say well figure it out on ur own , but in her situation she’s telling him nothing is changing besides the state they live in ,
Yall arnt thinking about the child ur thinking of the father !!
If he still gets his visits as he does now there is nothing different !! She don’t need approval to move bc her baby daddy , she can go as she please as long as he still gets his visit !
Best thing to do in this situation is if u do won’t to move , move !! Go and have a custody order done were he gets what he gets u get what u get ! And co parent and do what u been doing the child don’t know the difference !! Seems to me the father just don’t won’t her moveing away , bc there’s nothing else for him to bitch about really tbh ,
But good luck and hope everything works out for u girl
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She isn’t trying to take nothing from the other parent !! Clearly !!! She said everything remains the same besides the state lol ! Well the way I read it !
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You sound selfish that you want to take him away from his father. Sorry I agree with the others your wife could get stationed somewhere else soon and then you’d be starting all over
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The only way a court would grant you permission to alter things and move out of state with your son would be if it was a significant positive change in living.
I would highly recommend talking to a lawyer about this. I am in Canada but my cousin is going through something similar. She is trying to move her and her son to the states to be with her husband but her ex and father to her son is putting up a fight. The most accurate information you can get is from someone who knows the laws. I do not think you are a bad person wanting to be with your spouce, and 100% think you should take him to court. Everyone saying your trying to take your son away from his father should give their heads a shake. Your wife may not be biologically related but she is just as much of an important figure in his life as his dad. When you do go to court just make sure you have a fair idea of how its going to work with the dad. Asking him to move because you are isnt fair, but there are happy middle grounds in slit families 
Stay strong momma.
I understand that you want to be with your SO, but the father has as much right as you to have his son 3 days a week. That evidently won’t be possible if you move out of state. It’s not fair to do that to your son or the father.
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You want a better life for your son.
Screw everyone attacking you.
Go
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How far away? Are you willing to pay travel.? Could you still do the 3 to 4 day thing or is he in school
Is this a joke?
HES the selfish one??
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Id stay. It is what is best for your son…he needs his mother AND his father in his life full time. It is not fair to move him out of state…how would you feel if he did that to you, and you only got to see your son certain times of the yr? Living out of state would cause him to miss out on soooo much of his childs life , like activities at school, sports etc…
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First I would find out what the law is about the situation in whatever state you live in and then if possible go to court. I don’t think your selfish. You guys even told him he could come too and stay with you until he gets on his feet. I know where I live (Ohio) that if your not married when you have children, then the mom has all the rights and fathers don’t but if your married when the child is born, father’s have the same rights as the mothers. I have 2 kids by a man I wasn’t married to and the court and police told me if he ever took my kids that I could get him on kidnapping charges. So best thing find out what the law is wherever you are and go from there.
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Y’all need to handle this in court.
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Why would your needs need to be more important than the fathers needs? A child needs both parents
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You do get support from his father, if his father has him 3 days a week! That is him supporting his child, he don’t have to pay you money. What is best for your child, is to be able to have a relationship with both of his parents, who seem to love and take care of him. I think you are being selfish. Since you are the one who wants to leave, why don’t the baby stay with him? Would that be fair to you?
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Did anyone ask this child how he feels?
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So you used the father as a sperm donor and now your stuck with the consequences?
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Go to court, get child support and visitation, he has rights as a father.
Go to court prove why you’re moving and why it’s better. He won’t have a say in it after that. At least you’re not trying to take his kid away just trying to do what better.
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Go to court and let a judge decide. He’s not outside of his rights to want access to his son and you’re not outside yours in trying to give him a better life. There must be specific reasons for you leaving like school job etc.
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Go to court… u may not like the outcome…but u go on & do tht… good luck to u all… P.S. it’s kinda crappy u want to take a child from an active involved father, when thr r plenty of women tht desperately want thr children to know thr dads& the dads r completely absent
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Go to court…let the judge make the decision based on best interests of the child. When my fiance considered enlisting in the Navy, I had a 2yo from a previous relationship. When we went to court, I asked about moving to wherever he would be stationed after basic. Judge told me that I was more than welcome to move but would have to leave my baby girl with bio-dad. That made our decision for us to be honest.
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Im divorced with a 9yo son and have since remarried. While I understand and sympathize with why youd like to leave, I cant help but agree with your ex. Not that your selfish Im not attacking you personally so please dont mistake what I mean, but moving a child away from a loving parent is cruel and does cause a lot of unnecessary stress to them. Personally speaking, my ex and I agreed not to move more than 180 miles apart as part of our settlement agreement, at least until our son graduated. So far, we live 2 blocks away and do the best we can to co-parent. Some days we rock, others not so much, but he has us both as well as his new parent figures as well. (5 kids in our house btw )
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Do you realize how ridiculous you sound… you say you get no help from the father yet he has the kid half of the week… all your really thinking about is being with your wife… its incredibly selfish! Youd be taking his father from him basically. You laid down amd had made a child so welcome to the world of making sacrifices. Or you can move and leave the kid with his father, with all due respect just because you have a vagina doesnt make you a better or more entitled parent… smh
Out of curiosity since he has him 3 days a week if he decided to say you know what I think my son and I are going to move to a completely different state because I can raise him better there… would you be ok with it?
I mean it is really no different he is dad you are mom which makes you both parents. Moms do not ALWAYS have to raise the baby 
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whats best for him… is not always what you want. … you sound petty and im happy your son has a father in his life that is very much involved. how bout you leave your son with his dad… and you move… dad can co parent with you the best he can
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Fuck that guy. Take it to court.
I’m sorry, but as a parent who has 2 children with no father I would be more than happy to have my child close to their other parent if that other parent was putting in effort and spending time with them. You’re the selfish one in this case. Its not about you and your spouse. It’s about your child. And you’re trying to take your child away from what sounds like a stable consistent parent.
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You can take him to court, but you’re going to be upset when the judge shuts you down and makes sure you stay within state.
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Go to court get full custody he can’t say yay or nay then
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What’s best for your child is a loving father who wants to be there don’t take that away. Go to court. I understand you want a life there with your wife but she needs to understand that your child needs his father more.
Sorry but you are the one being selfish. He sees and takes care of his son equally as you do. Reverse it, how would you feel if he had him and took him out of state away from you ?
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Go to court and they will help you out most likely. Theres plans for being out of state visitations and such… seeing as you are married I would think they would most likely tell the father to be more reasonable… talk to a lawyer … bc it’s also illegal everywhere I’ve been for a parent to interfere with the other parents relationship with their spouse
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Unless you have a custody agreement established in court. You can leave and don’t need his permission
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Put the shoe on the other foot would you want him to take your son to a different state to live with his husband ?
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This father obviously wants his son in his life, put yourself in his shoes… in sure you would feel alot differently. A father has as many rights as a mother, and to me this will not be better as this child will lose his relationship with his active father/ role model. The child needs to be put first and having both parents is number one…
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Child needs his father too ! You are being selfish. Let him live with his dad, and you visit when you can. ( Doent sound so good does it. That is how his dad feels )
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If you go to court to get permission and you both have different opinions this could turn into a custody dispute about who has him physically. This is what happened to me. It worked out in my favor because my son’s dad finally admitted he could not care for our son 100% of the time between visitation. They did not even care that he hadn’t been employed for 4 years, didn’t provide support, didn’t know or take him to his doctors and dentists appointments, or that he canceled at least half of the visitation schedule I had set up with him. They were ready to have home visits and interviews by a guardian ad litems which is not free. Depending on your state if you do not have a current parenting plan or if paternity hasn’t been established you may have sole guardianship which doesn’t require anything for you to move. If that’s the case you could move and go to court in the state you move to. One thing you have to realize is that this move will be hard on your son and his dad even if you’re want to be fair. It means the majority of the year they don’t see each other. FaceTime is fun but it’s not the same as physical time together. You aren’t wrong for wanting to be with your spouse or to have a better financial situation since you’re currently paying for two homes but it won’t be easy for everyone.
If you don’t follow your states law you can be in trouble. See an attorney and try to get him to agree or compromise
He is an active dad. I can’t imagine any court will allow you to leave with your child.
You might have to wait until he is a lot older.
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