My sons girlfriend decided she doesn't want the baby: Advice?

I have a dilemma that I need advice on. My son’s current girlfriend is pregnant she has been wanting to get pregnant for the last two years. She was super excited to find out about the baby. All of a sudden she doesn’t want the baby because my son doesn’t want any kids. My reaction was “if you don’t want any kids then wrap it up!”I told her she should keep it and I will help her with as much as I can and that if it comes down to it I would kick him out of my home so my grand baby has a stable and safe environment to grow. She hasn’t told her mom about it because she has been wanting a grandchild from her for a good while now. She has an appointment this Friday. I don’t know what to do or if I should do anything at all. I want to save my grandchild’s life.

1351 Likes

It’s not your body nor choice. She’s not an incubator. Mind your business. Why are you trying to force this on her. What about your deadbeat son.

1 Like

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sons girlfriend decided she doesn't want the baby: Advice?

It’s not really up to you

9 Likes

Stay out of it :woman_shrugging:t5:

7 Likes

Ultimately it’s her body, her choice.

12 Likes

It’s sad, maybe when she sees the heartbeat she will change her mind.

2 Likes

This is one of those sticky situations where no matter how good your intentions, your wants don’t matter. It is great that you’re offering her support but providing any pressure on her decision is unethical. Talk to her, be there for her, but at the end of the day, this choice is hers to make and she deserves support no matter what she chooses.

12 Likes

You can’t force her to do anything. You can tell her her options and if YOU want the baby that badly, tell her you’re willing to adopt the baby. But you can’t force her to have the baby

6 Likes

As good as your intentions are it isn’t your choice or decision to make.

4 Likes

Try to save ur grandbaby life

11 Likes

Maybe she don’t wanna have the baby cause it’s not hisb

3 Likes

What do you mean what should you do? You literally have no say in this. There is nothing to do. She knows your opinion, but the decision is hers.

1 Like

In the end it’s up to her. But maybe remind her that it is her choice and he shouldn’t make her feel like hers is wrong. She obviously wanted a baby so he’s most likely telling her not to have it.

2 Likes

Her life is important. You can’t force people to have kids because if your own selfishness. Mind your business and get a dog to baby

6 Likes

Stay out of it, it’s really not your business, and you have no say in the matter. It’s hard on everyone, don’t make it worse

5 Likes

Aaawwww. You sound like you really have your head on straight. Alot of moms think their sons are always right. I love to hear you would choose the child living in your home over him! Unfortunately, it’s not your choice. Being a mom is a big responsibility.

16 Likes

Not much you can do… just continue to express how much you want this baby and will help her. She feels alone since your son doesn’t want kids. Sorry

1 Like

maybe offer to adopt the child if she really doesn’t want it?

7 Likes

It’s not up to you. You can let her know that you are there for her to help if she chooses to keep the baby but ultimately this is her choice. And the verbiage you used about wanting to save the babies life can be hurtful and sounds judgmental.

5 Likes

what you can do is be supportive in whatever decision she makes. she didn’t go into the situation planning to raise the baby alone it sounds like but someone backed out on her.

2 Likes

First of all, if they have been trying for two years why does he just now not want it? That seems weird.
But ultimately it’s not your choice if she keeps this baby or not. Ask her to adopt the baby, but don’t force her into something she does not want to do.

9 Likes

Her body her choice it’s that simple.

6 Likes

Pray for her, if that’s something you do. Offer to go with and support her. And even if she still decides she doesn’t want it? Support her anyway. This decision won’t be easy for her either way, knowing she has no support from your son.

5 Likes

It’s not your baby, body or choice. Respect her choice no matter what it is.

19 Likes

They should’ve discussed this at the beginning of their relationship… if he didn’t want kids, he should’ve used a condom… so it’s BOTH their fault. BUT it’s HER choice. Nothing anyone can do.

1 Like

I totally understand where you are coming from. That is your grandchild… I am sorry you are going through this. I had a similar situation, however, her mom took her to the ‘doctor’. And she just “LOST” the baby… It was a tough situation.

1 Like

This is completely none of your business. You should butt out.

2 Likes

It’s really not your choice…

Tell your son to get a vasectomy then if he doesn’t want any kids…

1 Like

You’ll never regret keeping your baby, you can however regret NOT keeping your baby.

9 Likes

You need to speak to your son because it takes 2. Tell him he needs to step up and man up and be a father. Not everyone wants to be a single mom.

2 Likes

Support her in what she what’s there is nothing for you “to do” shes not a pod and you’re not waiting for “your reward”
This is stupid AF

3 Likes

Unfortunately it is not your decision to make. It it her decision, and hers alone.

2 Likes

Offer to adopt and let her play whatever part or no part in the child’s life. It’s whatever she wants. If she decides she doesn’t want to do that then you support her, any decision she makes, you support

3 Likes

It’s. Not. Your. Fucking. Place. Stop putting a gross added pressure on her. Let her make her decision.

It’s not your body… As hard as it is for you how hard is it going to be for her to do alone?? You can help as much as you can but it’s still not going to be the help she would have if she had a stable partner. Don’t make her bring an unwanted kid into this world… If you want the grandbaby enough maybe you should offer to adopt and do it by yourself??

5 Likes

Not your choice. Simple as that.

4 Likes

If she’s been wanting a baby, she will regret her decision. That want won’t just go away and she’ll resent your son

This is her choice. All you can do is offer alternatives. Yes, it could be your grandchild, but it’s her life and her body… her choice.

1 Like

She wants the baby but now that your son doesn’t I feel like she doesn’t want to do this alone. You have to talk to her. I know you can adopt the child. You’ll have to convince her. And if she doesn’t want to, there’s not much you can do . Offer to adopt not just " help in what I can" kick the son out and care for that little baby . GOOD LUCK

2 Likes

Not up to you. This is up to the parents of the fetus. Just be there for them if you want to be supportive.

3 Likes

I have meet several grandmother’s that got custody of the baby. If she young she maybe scared. Just support her.if she doesn’t want baby let her know if you would want to adopt it. Good luck :crossed_fingers:

2 Likes

All you can do is support her and keep telling her how much you will support her.

1 Like

This is not your decision to make, this is the girls choice 100% you technically have no say in what she does with her body and her baby

20 Likes

Who cares about being politically correct. Anyone who wants to save a child’s life has the right to speak up for them. It’s not like the baby can speak up for itself. This isn’t a situation where her life’s at risk or where it’s extremely traumatic for her. So to kill your grand child out of convenience is not something I’d stay silent on. But I’d do my best to be kind and respectful of how hard this is on her. If I were you, I’d offer to adopt the baby.

17 Likes

She may change her mind, Give it some time…

All u can do is advise her. But at the end of the day, it’s not your choice.

4 Likes

It’s ultimately not your decision. You will have to accept whatever decision is made.

9 Likes

Just tell her you’ll do anything to support her no matter what she decides. & Explain to her that her whole life does not resolve around what a man wants. If she wants children and has always wanted children she is going to have HUGE regrets later on in life if the only reason she does not have them is because of somebody else.

4 Likes

Your job will be to support them in whatever decision they make - regardless of your feelings- because they truly don’t matter here. You offered an option, now you let them make their choice without any further meddling.

9 Likes

That’s not your call I’m sorry. It’s her baby and her life. If she knows she’s going to get no support from your son, that’s her call to make.

5 Likes

I’m sure it’s tough for you but remember she has it worse. Just give her options and let her decide. Then also be there for her with whatever decision she chooses.

All you can do is be supportive no matter the choice. She needs love, understanding and no shaming (I’m not implying you’re shaming, just saying) This decision is hers and only hers to make. Be loving to her, this is not an easy decision for her :cherry_blossom::cherry_blossom::cherry_blossom:

This is not even a little bit your choice. You should support her despite how you may feel about it. It is not her responsibility to provide you a grandchild.

12 Likes

This is not your decision, they are grown consensual adults. Keep out of it.
This is why people get caught in so much drama and so many family problems. This is not your place at all it is her decision. All you can do is support her. 

29 Likes

Just be there and support her with whatever decision she makes. Let her know that’s she’s not alone. If she decides to keep the baby, you will be there every step of the way. If she decides to terminate the pregnancy, you will still be there for her through that process as well.

I think it’s selfish of you to tell her keep it and you’ll help her. She deserves way better than that. She deserves the man who slept with her to actually want the baby he helped make. Let her make her own decision. It’s not your choice AT ALL.

36 Likes

It’s her choice at the end of the day. But if SHE wants her baby, her bf shouldn’t be the one to decide or influence her decision. Ultimately, if she does take his opinion/wants into consideration… there’s nothing you can do.

It is her decision. All you can do is be her support on whatever she decides.

Your son needs a reality check as well.

5 Likes

Your son , nor her want it
I feel like that would be a sad life for that child :disappointed:

12 Likes

It’s her decision to make but you can of course make sure she knows that she has your support no matter what she chooses to do. And let her know she has options. But my gut tells me if she’s been wanting a baby and is not only considering abortion due to your son not wanting a baby she will likely regret her decision. But again it’s her decision to make.

1 Like

I’m sorry but this is her body her choice.

Her body, her choice. That is ultimately her decision. She is allowed to changed her mind.

8 Likes

I think its vile, you cant just try for a baby, get pregnant then be like nahh dont want it now. A child is for life, you cant change your mind willy nilly

27 Likes

It’s her decision and part of the blame is on your son be mad at him. She needs to do what is best for her.

6 Likes

This is not up to you. You need to realize that now. Not your choice. Period. You need to stay out of it tbh. :woman_shrugging:t3:

2 Likes

Some people say “ im going to help you” “ I’ll be there to help you after baby is born” but many times that isn’t the reality so… if you say that make sure you do it… it’s a baby not a pet.

7 Likes

Not your body, not your choice. If they both choose to be kid free then you have to come to terms with it.

1 Like

Having a kid by someone that said they don’t want it… it’s extremely hard and very depressing. I’m living it now

2 Likes

Don’t offer to help how you can, adopt the baby

2 Likes

Talk to your son about showing her support.

It’s ultimately her decision. Just be there for her

2 Likes

Do it soon because otherwise its murder

Dang this is tough. Maybe find out the laws in your state about this or call DHS or an attorney that specializes in family law if your willing to try to save the baby and care for it. Tell her you will adopt it if that’s something you want and can do! But just be positive and supportive and let her know that is something she will have to deal with for the rest of her life no matter what decision she makes bc it’s not just about her now. It may be her Chile ultimately and her body but it’s another life and person. Possibly wait for her Dr appt and her to tell her mom and see what happens. Not much you can do if she won’t allow it. Sorry you are experiencing this. It’s a sad situation when parents don’t want to be parents but want to do grown up things that create babies.

1 Like

You would kick your own Son out of your home to give your Grandchild a stable home?
Disgraceful!

17 Likes

It’s her decision and all you can do is support that. It’s a little selfish of you to tell her to keep the baby because you want her to. Especially consider not she or your son want the baby. :woman_facepalming:t4::woman_facepalming:t4:

She wanted a baby for two years and he didn’t? Did they talk about this? It’s up to her but I do understand you wanting your grandbaby too. Big hugs and I hope everything works out for the best!

At the end of the day, it’s her choice and not yours. However, your son needs a reality check.

2 Likes

It’s her choice I understand you want to save your grandchildren but if the mother isn’t wanting to participate the situation can get severely out of control. If she’s not far along I know this isn’t what you want to hear but she need to talk to her Dr or her local planned Parenthood. The abortion clinic will talk to her and make sure she understands what she’s doing with an ultrasound as well that she has to look at and understand what position she’s in. It’s NOT and easy decision and she should be respected for her choice not downed because SHE “didn’t wrap it up”. This is half your son’s fault as well. This isn’t your choice.

You don’t need advice, you need to stop having an opinion about another adult’s uterus.

2 Likes

There’s nothing you can do but support her.

1 Like

Now that is sad. My sister in-law didn’t want her baby so we took him from birth best choice to made

2 Likes

Not your decision to make.

5 Likes

Her body her choice. Even with support being a single mom is hard af.

19 Likes

It’s a lifetime commitment and HER decision. No one else’s.

4 Likes

Hopefully, she takes your suggestion unfortunately its not your decision but maybe keep encouraging her and things will get better! I lived with my in laws without the father of my child present; they kicked their son out and took me & my son in to keep us safe an secure till I was able to be on my own and have stability with their grandchild. Also, try to encourage her to speak to her mom, she might need her mom and know how to approach the situation. It’s unfortunate your son feels the way he does and doesn’t know the value of a blessing! Good luck!

1 Like

I’d be supportive and let her know that you are there 100% if she chooses to continue.

I’d also talk to your son and tell him to take precautions if he doesn’t want children. It’s a big deal for women to go through pregnancy, adoption, abortion, etc. He’s playing with a loaded gun and doesn’t have to listen to the consequences

3 Likes

Alisons Choice her son is a piece of poo who got a girl pregnant and is now likely influencing that girl to get an abortion.

1 Like

Unfortunately, it’s not your choice, it’s her choice. You can offer to help her, but ultimately she is going to be the one raising that child. It’s just tragic that she is basing her decision on your son not wanting children instead of what she wants. The only thing you can do is be as supportive as possible if her decision, no matter how you really feel.

4 Likes

She could have the baby…and you could adopt the baby. Just a thought…

Not your body, not your business.

4 Likes

It’s HER decision. But if she does keep it she shouldn’t put him on child support or expect him to be there. He already said he didn’t want it

7 Likes

Just be there for her no matter what she chooses. It’s her choice.

3 Likes

It’s ultimately her choice but if you absolutely insist she has baby when she doesn’t want it, then you should adopt if possible. Discuss it with her.

2 Likes

My nephew girlfriend told me we are in love iv had 17 abortion. That’s :tired_face: that sick…wtf

3 Likes

You should mind your own fucking business

Her body her choice period.

2 Likes

Definitely not your decision to make but I feel like there’s something missing from this story

5 Likes

All I can do is say If it were me I’d kick my son’s ass out n give them both a place to live!! Not everyone believes in abortion as birth control. Whatever does happen plz b supportive. They sound kind of immature. So idk their ages, but why srsy with someone who doesn’t have the same life goals as you want.