My sons teacher thinks he has ADHD: Advice?

My son just started 4K this year at a new school than the one he went to for 3K… well the teacher said the other day that it was the worst day he had there so far and that she wants him to get tested for adhd and in behavioral therapy. She than preceeded to tell me how awful he was and that she was worried about the other students safety because he moves around so much? I was completely shocked about what she said about the other students safety… I have noticed that he’s super energetic and mentioned that to his dr a couple of times well she always said it’s too early to test and to just wait since at his previous school his teachers said he just needs to be redirected but nothing about him having behavioral problems where they thought that he would hurt other kids… I can’t lie things have been rough with him since I had my daughter in June and I think that’s why he’s acting up… I called his dr and she said we’ll talk more in Nov at his check up and she did send a referral for a behavioral therapist which I already called and got him an appt in Nov. I just feel like I failed my child since he’s been having these issues and idk what to do. Anyone have any suggestions what i can do until he meets with his therapist ?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sons teacher thinks he has ADHD: Advice?

The test isn’t that bad my son has severe adhd

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Take him to a developmental pediatrician

It’s ADHD. Not the end of the world … If he needs medicated for a bit … it’s not a big deal … my daughter was medicated for a year and then we were able to stop her meds.


Just have him tested. I took my son to be tested and they did a variety of test and I learned while my son doesn’t have ADHD he does have a learning disability that we didn’t know about and he suffers from dyslexia

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Nothing you can do but get him tested and go over the options for treatment with the doctors.


We has the same problem with one grandson and the school did almost the same thing and the doc put him on meds

Change diet no sugar even if child has ADHD may not you no your own child meds aren’t good usually Ritalin there’s great books for diet

My son teacher told me the same but no doctor will even test him till he is 6 years old he’s only 3. But since he can’t be tested the school is bringing in a play therapist once a week for him at the school. Cause he is a great kid super smart and doesn’t act out at home but once he goes to school they say he does all this stuff at school. I’ve gone up to the school on multiple occasions and watched him on the camera and he does just fine. He doesn’t know I’m there cause I don’t go to his class I just watch him on the camera they have in the class and he does fine. But all other times he apparently does all this crazy stuff so right now it’s hard to tell what’s even going on.

Good luck though. They are babies and they are adventuring out and getting to know new places.

She can’t say that stuff to you. Recommending behavioral services for him is one thing but a teacher cannot tell you your child needs to be tested for adhd her job is to offer support not diagnose him she doesn’t even seem willing to help.which is a giant red flag

Sometimes people use that as an easy way out. Why? Bc he’s hyper? Bc they can’t keep his attention? Maybe he’s bored. Maybe he isnt being challenged enough at school. When the negative behavior starts, what happens right before it does? Did something trigger him?
ADHD isn’t just an easy answer, it’s an easy answer for when people don’t take the time to figure out that maybe there’s something more than just the negative behaviors.
They can’t express themselves like adults can. So maybe there’s something that’s bothering him that he doesn’t know how to express


Sleep is important, routine is also, diet, structure.

My child was 3 when he was tested for adhd he also has autism and bipolar hes 11 now and yes it can be a safety issue for other kids are least she’s concerned for the safety of the other students and your child

Please don’t feel any which way. The fact that you’re addressing the input and feedback by doing what you can to help your son be successful makes you an unreal, incredible loving parent. Keep down the path so you have all the answers. Worst case you end up with extra tools to help your little one and hey that’s not bad at all.

Don’t wait and get your own testing done. They can be tested early if you find a doctor that specializes in behavior. The earlier the intervention the more options are available. Contact one of the societies that help in such issues, Do Not let the school system bully you into something that you haven’t had your own specialist involved in.

my son had to start meds in kinder. he is now in 5th. the teachers recognize it quickly and know what to look for. also they have 20 or more other children to tend to as well. my husband had it and all 3 of his kids as well.

My Son has ADHD and autism. It was rough go in preschool. The School instist that he get in behavior health and put on medication. Or he couldn’t go there any more. Now he is 12. He not on medication any longer. I decided no more for him. Such a big difference. Now that he is older he can handle himself better. I hate when the school gets involved telling you your kid need medicine. Don’t let the School force you into anything.

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This is what I do…

I would comply with the teacher’s suggestions and have him tested. It’s a very easy process, at least it was when my daughter was in kindergarten (which they typically will not even test or consider meds if needed until kindergarten) for pre-k they will most likely go ahead and start behavioral and play therapy to help him. My daughter’s “test” consisted of a few sheets of paper that had a list of behaviors the teacher checked off and I also checked off that my daughter either had rarely, sometimes or often. The doctor concluded she did have adhd from that. Medicine was a trial and error for us at first but we finally found one that we were comfortable with and she did excellent with. She started doing so well! Now my son is in kindergarten and having behavioral issues. We do not believe he has adhd but he does need some play and behavioral therapy to help him regulate his emotions. He struggles to do that so we’re trying to get that started for him!

I would request a different teacher.

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I have ADHD, as do some of my biological children, and I’m pretty good at picking out the students in my class that have ADHD too. I have never and will never suggest to parents that their kids might have ADHD, that’s above my pay grade and I’m not a developmental pediatrician. I am a special education teacher (well, this year I’m a general education teacher but being a special education teacher doesn’t just stop because I switch rolls).

If a parent asks, I provide them with facts and data. And suggest they discuss things with their pediatrician, if they have concerns.

In my classroom, I try to provide them with an environment that is conductive to learning with neurodivergency. Is it going to suck for them next year if they don’t get a teacher that naturally does? Probably. I focus on this year and provide them with a solid year of positive learning.

Get in contact with your county’s educational services and see if they will send someome in to evaluate the classroom, the teacher, and your child. They will watch and see how your child is interacting and how the teacher is handling things. When I was told my son had ADHD and the teacher wanted him on medication this is what I did. The lady from the county educational department told me he wasn’t really that bad and gave the teacher things to work on. My son was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade and has never been put on medication due to the school not willing to try what the behavioral therapist suggested. My son is now a sophomore in high school. Does he struggle some days yes but he has learned to control himself without medications. He is still a very active kid and needs was to run out his energy. He works on a farm and plays football. I would try all ways to avoid medicine because my nephew was put on medication as a young kid and at 18 years old he told me he can’t get off his medicine because he cannot do without it and has tried a couple of times.

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Try n get a report from his last school /teacher n take that too his doctor too. A new born in the home can change some things… but if it was adhd…his prior teacher would have mentioned something :thinking:. But still yesss get him tested…it doesn’t hurt to rule it out. My daughters therapist thought she should be tested for autism… brought it up to her pediatric developmental specialist… he did some test n came back n said its anxiety :flushed:… but either one is still very manageable with the proper tools

First off stop thinking there is something “wrong” and stop thinking that you “failed.” I would also look into getting him a new teacher. If he has ADHD that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with him. Just means his brain works differently than a nerotypical brain. He doesn’t need negativity, he needs to learn to navigate his brain. I mean if he was in a wheelchair would you think there’s something wrong with him or allow teachers to be negative towards him? Or would you just try to teach him to navigate his life? For now look up ways to help his daily life as if he had ADHD and start implementing them. Just to see if they help before he goes and gets tested.

If he has ADHD it has nothing to do with you or how you raised him. My parents wouldn’t even get me tested because they didn’t want something to be “wrong” with me. When in all reality, as an adult I realized there’s nothing wrong with me, my brain just works differently then others. It would have been easier as a child if I had been tested early and my parents had me understand that I just had to work a different way with my brain then nerotypicals do. There is no normal in this world. Some just have to work harder to make their life easier and you can help him with that. So first things first, change your perspective before he feels bad about something that he has no control over. You sound like a great mom, dont sell you or your child short :blush:


Honestly sounds like a typical child.
Children ARE NOT meant to sit still.
Children learn through movement.
Main stream classrooms are not designed for children and their developing energetic bodies.
I would talk to the teacher about more movement breaks, less desk work, and more learning through play.
Nutrition, sleep, and increase activity levels, add more outside time, more movement. His sensory needs, like everyone, need to be met.


I don’t know if it’s this way and every state but in Michigan if he teach you recommends a child to go on ADHD medicine and the child gets put on it and gets her prescription every month the teacher gets a kickback just like the doctor who recommended that brand


This happened to me with my son. The teacher was boring and my son needed more stimulation than sitting quiet and being ignored. He went to different school and boom they boosted him to an older class and he was doing amazing!!! They think pills are best and I don’t think so.

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I would do it, just so you can know. Tell the doctor what the teacher said and that you want him to be tested.


Occupational therapy helped my son tremendously… he did it last year I had also just had a new baby! You got this momma you didn’t fail anyone, life is hard and you are doing your best!

My son has ADHD dr wouldn’t test till he was 5 now he has ADHD and ODD (occupational defiance disorder)he’s 15 now 

I don’t think he was given a good teacher if you can request a different teacher. He is little and kids have a lot of energy the teacher should be prepared for that. If the teacher expects the kids to sit quietly with their hands crossed she is the one with the problem.

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You are a great mom get him tested and go from there my 13 year old 8th grade has ADHD and I see that in my 6 year old in 1st grade I want him tested.

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He was an only child and now he must share attention. Add in a few other factors and you haven’t failed him. He just lacks the verbal and life experience to express his feelings constructively. Therapy will help with this. It will also help you learn how to help him.

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Don’t beat yourself up over it. You have not failed him. You are reaching out to the professionals and following their recommendations. You’re doing right by him mama :heart: good luck :heart:

He sounds like a normal little boy… my son is 11 almost 12 and he was like this. And it always seemed like the teacher who were new in the teaching world who couldn’t handle him being a child. Never doubt yourself your doing great. It’s all about consistency. And no child is easy. No child comes with a how to manual. I found that putting my child in a sport or something he liked to do really helped with his high energy. I’m sorry that teacher made you feel that way. But it’s also not her job to phycology analysis your child it’s her job to teach. I’m that mom that would/ has brought this up to her bosses. Again it’s her job to teach not point out the negative in your child.

Teachers deal with children with ADHD every year. They see more of the presentation than any of you will ever have any idea. If they are noticing behavior that is disruptive, distracting, or the child is struggling… I applaud them for bringing it to a parents attention so the child is not struggling. Shame on all of you bash the teachers for having the balls to speak up and say some thing so a parent can at least get their child checked

My son had an IEP for many things, one was for behavioral. That was when he was 5. He’s now 14, one of the calmest, smartest, funniest, respectful young man I know. He had help when he was young, it got to where he needed today. He has his IEP until 2nd grade. If he needs the help, there’s no shame in that at all.

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Your child’s teacher should mind their fucking business :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Your child’s teacher is an ableist asshole.
Your child’s teacher is not educationally fit to diagnose a child.

File a report with the board and advocate for your child. Do not drug your child.

Read this article, super informative and eye opening… US Schools and the Astounding Rise in ADHD | Psychology Today

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Teachers tend to label children who don’t sit quietly. Don’t tell him he’s hyper or let others tell him he is. Sometimes kids will act that way if they are told this. Tell him he is active and that how he should be, if he listens and does what the teacher says and then is moving around a lot. Maybe he is intelligent and above the level he’s being taught. These children have a tendency to be bored with the material that they can do easily. At the least keep him busy with his hands and physical activities. Don’t let them medicate your child.

Please do not feel like you failed your child! You absolutely did not fail him! I’m so glad you followed the teachers advice and will proceed to get him tested and take him to behavioral therapy. You would be failing him if you refused to acknowledge it and say they were crazy. I’m a teacher myself and we’ve had parents where absolutely refuse to believe their child has adhd or need to get tested for anything. They’re doing a disadvantage to their kids by refusing that. It will get better. Have consistency with him and get him the help he needs. Thank you again for listening to their advice and doing what is necessary for him. Good luck momma. :two_hearts:

Is he bored? Maybe he needs more physical things to do. Try getting him into a sport or activity.

This is because he’s a child and has energy that needs to be burned off. My sons school did this same mess and once he was on meds he became a zombie and wouldn’t eat or do anything. I finally took him off that crap n he plays basketball and has a way to get it out. Kids were not made to sit in a class room for 7hrs a day 5 days a week. What are they suppose to do to get out that energy?

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This is what I do…

You are not failing. Children are not meant to sit for 8 hrs a day. His teacher is just probably aggravated that he moves around the room. She’s judging him because he’s a normal kid that hasn’t confirmed to sit down and be quiet.

My son has Attention Deficit Disorder (under ADHD classification) and his previous teacher said the same thing. On top of that, he has speech delay. His first year of school was miserable. He would beg and cry to let him stay home and not go to school. He said he hated school. He ended up having to repeat the grade. We opted to try a different teacher this year. The results were night and day! He loves school and is excited to see his teacher every day. He’s paying attention more (as much as you can with ADD) and he’s completing his assignments. His behavior has calmed down immensely. No more meltdowns. Anyway, definitely get your child tested and go from there. ADHD is extremely common in kids. Sometimes changing the environment will help and sometimes medication is necessary. Every child is different, so it’s trial and error to figure out what works. Good luck, Mama!

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Start researching and developing a 504 plan now for him and request a meeting with the principal, counselor, and teacher. I don’t feel a teacher should be throwing out diagnosis and referrals like that but she’s clearly concerned about his behavior and the sooner you start working on a plan and helping him the better.

Being a mom of 4 ages 10,8,7, and 5 I feel that you are right about it being your daughter being born recently. My kids always had a regression stage after I brought a baby home. My youngest son (the 7 year old) has ADHD and bipolar. (Got that from his momma unfortunately.) I would just keep doing exactly what they have suggested. Get him into therapy. And maybe eventually some medicine that will help. Therapy. May be all he needs. But some people need the combination of meds and therapy. Until then I would set aside a couple hours a day that you can spend with just him doing things he likes to do. This will make him feel that he is not being put on the back burner for the new baby. You can also have him help you with the baby. I’m not sure how old your son is but maybe he can hold her while you make bottles or get stuff ready for bath and bed time. Maybe he can feed her every once in a while.

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By all means speak with his doctor but his teacher is way out of line throwing around diagnoses about a child. That honestly is completely unprofessional and out of her job description

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Some kids have more energy than others, and some teachers can handle it better than others. Tell his teacher to give him more work, to keep him busy. It’s what works with my daughter, maybe it would help here.

Contact the special education department for your school district and ask for a full evaluation.

And that woman completely over stepped her boundaries now you need to talk to her boss and if the other three years were fine I’d almost say it’s his teacher we had one when my son was in school wanted every boy in her class on Ritalin well she had a hellion of her own at home non medicated and she brought him to a game and the whole school saw her kid acting up me and a couple other moms went to the principal needless to say she didn’t work in our school anymore just because they’re teachers doesn’t make all of them good humans

I’d suggest a new school or teacher. HE IS A FOUR YEAR OLD BOY and they move around a lot. He is being normal and does not need a diagnosis!!!

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Sounds like he does have ADHD child have energy but should be awake to sit still and focus. Practice calming exercises with him

Get him tested and find out what exactly he is deal with

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More individual quality time with him im sure would be nothing but nice for him to have on top of what others are suggesting. :slightly_smiling_face: good luck(:

Unfortunately the birth of a new baby can cause behavioral problems and aggression if if its not at home. If you can spend some more quality time with him id do that. As far as testing you can always research and have one done yourself. Some kids show signs earlier than others or maybe it could be something else that was missed until now. There are lots of changes with young kids and then a new baby can be an added stressor for him.

I do not understand why most the comments are bad about the teacher actions , she is the one dealing with him most of the day , so she might see / notice stuff that his parents have not, she is not saying that he has adhd she just suggested him to be texted and I do not see a issue with that , what she is supposed to do to ignore the situation?

   As a mom , I will appreciate to be told Whatever issue my daughter has while as school and I will take seriously any suggestions/ referrals the teacher suggests.

Teachers deal with kids as a daily basis so even that they are not doctors they can see signs of any issues a kid might have.
Thanks to a teacher like her my daughter got transferred to a different school and got everything she needed to succeed at school


A teacher isn’t allowed to “diagnose” or even hint that they think a child has any kind of issue. If this is with a school district, you could legally make them pay for testing.


You can have him evaluated at school by the school psychologist. I’m surprised that the teacher didn’t recommend it. Request it through the special education/exceptional children department.

don’t believe the teacher trust your gut. Schools get paid for every child that’s diagnosed and get even more if they’re medicated. Let the kids be kids. Stop big pharma. Worst mistake I ever made with my now adult children.


My 4 yo has it, but they can’t diagnose until 6. My daughter, 13, has it but we don’t medicate her she was a zombie when we did. She had a 504 plan but has zn iep now.

First of all you didn’t fail anything momma! Your child is being just that. A child! It really bothers me that we are not but maybe 6 wks into the new school year across the US and there’s already hundreds of mommas and dad’s on here with these same feelings. These teachers are tossing a diagnosis up before a doctor is even seen. And having families hearts and thoughts in the gutter. It’s shameful and horrible. Somewhere across time ladies and men in the education system became empowered by forcing children to sit completely still in a chair and force-fed information that is found to be beneficial to their development but if they move an inch or open their mouth to voice an unwanted opinion they have this problem or they are being targeted by a bully and finally act out in self defense and they have the development issues ect ect … I can literally go on and on. I know you parents know what I am talking about!!! I just don’t know how much longer this is going to be allowed by you all!!
I saw , I said , I put my foot down!! Teacher was fired!! I play no games especially when it comes to my kids!
So remember! You are their voice , their shield, and armor!!! You protect them! Do what you know is right, even if someone else thinks it is wrong :100: :ok_hand: because at the end of the day thoes little eyes and arms around your neck is all that matters!

Point in my rant-if you think this teacher is being outa place say so. If she’s picking on your kid don’t allow it. But. Do listen and take what they say for acct and speak with your child and dr to seek out help if it’s actually necessary. But not every single kids has Adhd or asbugurs so on a dr is the one to give these diagnosis out not teachers :roll_eyes:
I’m sick and tired of soothing parents after the first 2 months of school said every family practice nurse from this nonsense!! So just stop already!!

Family therapy. Including behavioral. They won’t confirm a test for adhd it has age but starting therapy to work in redirection on his own is beneficial.

Have the school do a Vanderbilt and get him started on an IEP…take that info to a specialist or a doctor who specializes in the area of mental disability and have them perform the testing…as a mom of a child with ADHD and ODD I can see the similarities. We chose the path of medicine just for the sake of keeping him focused in school and we also started behavioral therapy. It’s been a god send. As far as a teacher telling you that you have to have him tested and making diagnoses on her own is completely uncalled for…make sure you mention that speaking about your child in that way to their face is also inappropriate and demeaning!

Seems like he might just be jealous right now with a new baby in the house. He’s not getting 100% of your attention. And if he was an only child before you had your daughter then he’s just having to get used to sharing your attention with another child

My husband and oldest son have adhd.The specialist we saw said kids with adhd act like they are being driven by a motor among other things.

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My son has it amoung other things and can become violent when overwhelmed. He started a med at age 7 and it has done wonders for him. I was apprehensive about it but he actually likes school now. However he did have one teacher who tried to push a higher dose and I refused because she just didn’t know how to infuse the sensory breaks he needed into her class. But otherwise it’s been alright

Don’t feel like you failed your child. You’re doing everything you can. Ask his led for a referral to a psychiatrist. They have better tools to access your son. Also, just to throw this out there, there are non stimulant medications for ADHD. My daughter has been seeing a psychiatrist since she was 3. Didn’t go on a stimulant til 2nd grade. Also ask about a referral for therapy. There are many different types for children. My daughter did play therapy which helped her a great deal.

My daughter was tested and diagnosed at age 4

There’s nothing wrong with being ADHD so get him tested. It benefits your son more than anything because if he is, they learn differently, and it the school can allocate the resources necessary to help him learn.

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