My spouse refuses to help change diapers: Advice?

My spouse and i just had our first and he refuses to help me with diaper changes…said it grosses him out too much and he shouldnt have to do it at all when I am capable…is this a normal thing with new dads?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My spouse refuses to help change diapers: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

No and I wouldn’t put up with that. That’s ridiculous. He needs to man up.

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He sounds immature and dramatic! Sounds like his job was done after he donated his sperm!!!

Not normal and he’s being a jerk. It is NORMAL for both parents to care for their child, ie, including changing diapers of all kinds. He needs to get over himself instantly and start participating in parening.

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Some people are just uncomfortable

When I had my daughter my partner was a little uncomfortable at first, but once he done it once then he was fine.

Nope :-1: sounds like he needs to get the hell over it or change houses

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If this was me, I’d leave my baby with a shitty bum with him and fuck off for an hour or two he will do it !! If he doesn’t wanna get involved with the baby like seriously tell him to do one x

No. Not normal at all.

Nope.
He needs to figure it out and help you. Especially with the “capable” comment. He also has hands and capable.

The smell will only get worse (until it starts smelling like popcorn lol) and he needs to parent-up and do his part.

Tell him to get over it…

My advice would get me in trouble

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I honestly can barely changing one some people just can’t stomach it DONT take it personal

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Tell him to stop being a sook, take a teaspoon of concrete and harden up. I have two and I do the vast majority of the changes.

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I would put my foot so far up my spouses rear end, he would need a diaper. Don’t play with me. That’s his baby, his responsibility to change diapers too.

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It doesn’t even matter that he’s grossed out. That’s his child. You suck it up and get it done.

I mean, it’s just the most basic, bare minimum care a baby needs, and dad’s refusing to do that. No different than refusing to feed the baby or put them in a car seat

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I hear this a lot from women. Some men can’t stomach it and throw up. I know some women that can’t stomach it and their partner has to do all the changes. If he is throwing up I’d give him a break, but if he just refuses I’d give him a clothes pin for his nose and tell him to get over it.

My husband didn’t change first nappy til our son was 10 days old

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I think its an older way of thinking
Alot of men wont do it … today i think men are more involved and will
Up to you if you wont take any non sense , i wont be surprised if hes the type of man who says the kitchen is womens work !

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So what happens when one day you cannot care for baby? Say you had to go to hospital for some reason and Dad had no choice but to care for baby. Would he just neglect the baby or man the eff up? I’d lose my :poop:!!

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Ummmm was he not there for conception? It does take two to make a baby. He should share in it. Mine did with all three.

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Well sounds like he needs practice then if it makes him uncomfortable, it’s not fair to make you do it them all just because he finds it gross. It’s not like we find it sunshine and rainbows just because we’re mom, diapers are part of being a parent

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No not normal at all… his mama raised a biiiiiiiitch lol

He can’t do the non Poo diapers than?

Diapers are gross but refusing to help is not normal. You probably should head into counseling. He is not going to get better. It is likely he will abdicate all of his parenting duties.

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Nope. Not normal. Our first he always helped me when he was home and a few days old he was doing them by himself. Second baby I got rushed for emergency surgery and he was doing them the whole day alone.
He made that baby he’s just as capable as you to look after it.

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Kinda. They’re just being lazy and should pitch in much more.

Now my dad absolutely refused to change girl diapers for any reason.
My ex husband was lazy and didn’t wanna help with anything.

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No it’s not he need to get it together and stop being lazy

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Absolutely not okay! Not normal. He needs to change real quick

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No, that is not normal. Tell him to grow up and be a man. That baby is just as much his as yours. Diaper changes are his responsibility too. If both his hands work then he is capable of changing those diapers as well! That smell grosses moms out too but it’s gotta be done! Nothing worse than having a man baby as a partner!

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Definitely not normal. It took both of you to make this baby and it’s going to take both of you to raise the baby. My husband helped change diapers, the feedings in the middle of the night, does tub time, and he even does our daughters hair and we have three. If he can’t change a diaper then he’s not ready for a child.

My husband never helped with anything like that. If my babies diaper needed to be changed he would call to me and tell me to come change the diaper. The only time he ever did it is if I wasn’t home briefly and they went number 2. Otherwise, all my duty.

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My husband only ever changed diapers if I was at work. And if they ever pooped while he had them he would hose them down in the bath tub.

1st Document this in a personal diary in case things go south or record it. So you have proof for court. 2nd. Sit down and talk with him about it. Have a full on conversation with him. Treat him like a child. Validate his feels and then give him options. He can wash & dry his hands then put on gloves and change the diaper. If it’s the smell he can get nose plugs and change them. Try to see if he is willing try those options. I’m a Preschool Teacher. At work we always use gloves.

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This is the opposite of a “new dad” thing. 50 years ago a dad was considered a good parent if he helped with any of the childcare; nowadays they’re expected to take on more of an active role.
I come from a very traditional household; my father brought in the money, and my mother kept the house and raised the kids. I knew from an early age that it wasn’t what I wanted for my own life. When I did finally marry (a little over a year ago, when I was 37) it was to someone who doesn’t care about those gender roles. He’s the SAHP for our daughter and changes a LOT of dirty diapers.

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I think it’s usual for some men not wanting to change diapers, besides find it gross some even feel kind of uncomfortable, and of course others are just lazy .
But, you should insist on having him help you with the diapers, if he gets away from that , he will probably complain to feed or even take care of the baby by himself

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Not normal. Just as much his responsibility as yours. Changing nappies is one of the least ‘gross’ things he will have to do as a father.

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Tell him to grow tf up he made that human an is capable of changing diapers :roll_eyes: Why have children if you don’t wanna take care of them

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That’s a horrible partner to have.

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Just from experience I know that with certain bodily fluids, baby or not, I physically cannot tolerate it. As hard as I try I physically gag, dry heave and eventually puke everywhere. So people saying it’s not normal are wrong. If he’s just being a jerk because he doesn’t want to, that’s different. But if he really can’t ask him to do some other duty he can be solely responsible for that you don’t like doing. If changing diapers doesn’t bother you then just do it and tell him he is now in charge of folding every baby onesie and matching up every tiny baby sock. Not everything has to be so dramatic. Compromise.

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My husband is taking care of our baby today I’m chilling and Netflix, I need a break… He brings him to breastfeed and takes him again… I ha e been doing the most as his been working long hours, he is well rested yesterday so today his giving me the chance to rest… We a team, he does everything except bath time, and I am OK with that coz bath time is my best bonding time as baby loves it most… He needs to stop making excuses and do his part…

It’s his responsibility as a parent. He needs to change diapers so the child doesn’t end up getting diaper rash. Diapers are gross yes but, you can’t just not do it. He can wash his hands whatever maybe even rinse their bottom off when if he’s uncomfortable wiping their bottom.

My kids dad Is an absolute horrible dad but atleast he changed nappies when the kids were little.

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Yes it is gross at times but he’s have to do it if you weren’t there. He helped create it , he can help change it!! Tell him to grow up

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He could just be an ass. But I know my dad personally, has a very weak stomach when it comes to certain things like puke, poop, or anything really nasty looking/smelling. So I’m his case he didn’t help with our poop diapers growing up as babies. But for my experience my husband helps with just about everything, because I told him I refuse to do it on my own, because I’m not.the only one that helped make the kids, which he completely understands. During my 2nd pregnancy and my 3rd, I started ending up like my dad, the smells of my kids diapers,or even my husband’s own farts or my.own, would make me gag and if I looked at it or even tried to picture it,I would automatically start gaggin and alot of times made my own self puke. So my husband was the only.one that did the poopy diapers for a while. So depending on the circumstances, it sounds mainly like you’re dude is just a jack-A, and trying to get out of it. So he’s definitely TA, and I’d put my foot down,but also if he helps with everything else but the diapers,then I don’t necessarily see a problem with him skipping out on poopy diapers,but at the same time there will be times when dad is by himself with baby, and then he’ll have no choice. So you got to put your foot.down and tell him to get used to it anyway.

I wouldn’t be doing a thing for him… no cooking, cleaning, washing etc. until he starts helping you.

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I think nappies are gross… I spewed a little on the carpet once when changing my son :joy: that was a bad one! But it has to be done… I don’t think anyone enjoys it.

Mine is taking care of our 3 kids at home while im in the city with our newborn (shes in the nicu cause she was born early) and hes doing everything at home… our youngest at home is 11months… n our baby in the hospital is 15days :kissing_heart::heart: yesss he needs to man up and take care od ur baby too… cause we all know u didnt make ur baby urself…

Yours is just a douche.

You have a partnership in every thing when having a baby.You help each other.Changing a nappy is part of becoming a parent.Put your big pants on and grow up ,you created this little human and your wife need your help.

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Obviously diapers are gross. But he signed that responsibility when he signed the birth certificate! He needs to man up or you need to consider your options because if he won’t change a diaper (his own flesh and blood), what else won’t he do?

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My ex husband NEVER changed a diaper- we had 3 kids together. He too said it was gross and that it was a “womans” job. I told him since it was a woman’s job then he needs to stop paying kids to mow the yard and do it his own self and that I will never take the trash out because that’s a “man’s” job. It worked, he mowed and took our trash. It also sucked

I have a 8 week old baby… my partner has done like 8 nappies ish so far and keeps trying lol mone is because he is scared of how small baby is lmao it’s funny and I just sit there and laugh while he is being as slow and gentle as possible :laughing: yours is ridiculous lol at least try. As a parent be prepared to have poo, pee, spew and not on you, plus food slobber tears dirty hands e.c.t kids are gross welcome to parenting sir

Well u should have discussed all this out before having children I ask different questions to my man it’s good to communicate before starting a family

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Like seriously u need to leave him it’s not just your job and what if he is alone with the child than what the baby will be sitting in pee and poop the whole time

Weaponized incompetence :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Did he not expect it to have to be done? So if you go out will the baby not get changed because he’s grossed out? Tell him to grow a pair. He made that baby.

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Does he wipe is own ass? Or does he holler for you to come do it for him?
Baby poop is way less gross imo because you know exactly what they’re eating.

No that’s not normal and if it legit grosses him out just wait. Or he is just making up excuses not to do things which is a great start to parenthood.

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Tell him to grow TF up!! :unamused: you and your baby deserve better.

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He wipes his own butt right?

No it’s not normal sound like he needs to harden the F up. my baby girls dad is his first child and he helps change nappies. Tell your babies daddy it’s his child too and it’s gross for the baby to be in a dirty nappy and it’s just not your job he made the child too so he can help change nappies.

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so if you get sick who’s going take care of the baby

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No it’s not normal.
He’s a man child who needs to get a grip.

He shouldn’t have had a child if he wasn’t prepared to raise one :woman_shrugging:t3:

What’s he going to do if you’re sick? What’s he going to do if his child is sick?

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Sorry it’s not funny what’s funny is he’s not dead yet lol :joy: seriously though :flushed: :nerd_face: two words ……”witness” “protection”!!! He goes haha you have to put your foot down now because all tell you what this is the ways part do not let this slide or you will be doing everything by yourself !!

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We all have masks for covid. Spray something fresh on it and tell him to put his big boy panties on. Sure, it now smells like lavender and shit but sir needs to buck up and buckle up. A diaper change is nothing next to getting barfed on. Which WILL happen eventually too. It gets better with practice. Really, its an act of love to stop enabling him and keeping him from growing as a person. Dad should now be in charge of doodie duty for personal growth reasons :laughing:

No, what’s he going to do if you’re not there? He needs to get over himself.

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Definitely not normal! He should be doing his fair share of everything, my partner has a sensitive stomach and still changes a pooy nappy whilst gagging even when I offer to take over and do it he says no unless he knows he’s going to be sick😂

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It is what it is. Can’t force anyone to do anything

l Get paid over $115 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19047 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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Don’t have any more kids cuz its never going to go the way you want. Some guys can’t.

What happens if you ever have to leave bub with him? He better get over it cause he’s ganna have to sooner or later lol

No, not normal. He’s a flog.

He needs to help. He’s a parent, and he’s not acting like one. You need to make him.

He’s not a dad he’s the father of your child.

My oldest son’s dad tried to tell me that (but he also barely helped with anything). I told him he either changed it or the next poopy diaper would be on his head next time he was asleep? He helped after that. I don’t enjoy the smell either but it’s gotta be done so I told him to suck it up. Now my youngest sons dad is totally opposite, he helps with everything. He works alot but when he is here he jumps right in and helps with diapers, feeding, washing bottles, baths, getting up with him at night.

No not normal at all.

He needs to grow up. End of story

Nope… That’s not normal… enjoy that because he is letting you know that your baby is your responsibility… I think you married a child. So sad.

This is part of the reason of why I do not want to have kids. I know it comes with it and I would vomit every time…

I’m bad with dirty nappies but a baby wipe up my nose blocks the smell and I crack on. Some people genuinely have sensitive stomachs but that aside he still need to help.

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He can always bathe the baby if he’s to grossed out to wipe I say it’s an excuse not to help

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Tell him to suck it up, it’s his baby too! It should be 50/50. You shouldn’t have to do it all.

It is going to get worse if he already acts like this.

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It seems that now you have two kids instead of one. :face_with_spiral_eyes:

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I’ll say my husband didn’t like changing diapers and I did it most of the time, but if he noticed it needed changed before I did, he would. We also have an agreement that if I deal with poop, he deals with puke. Lucky for him they poop a lot more.

So when he has the baby by his self and you aren’t there he just lets the baby sit in a dirty diaper? If he don’t help change diapers then I would find someone else who will

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Did he think the baby was going to come out potty trained?!?!
My ex used to get up early before work, feed, change and bond with our son every morning when he was a baby.

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My husband has been changing diapers since we were still in the hospital. He has a weak stomach & has gagged many many times over the years within 4 kids but he has NEVER said he isn’t changing our child…that’s HUGE :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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No, it’s an a$$hole thing :woman_facepalming:
Good luck, sounds like you may need it :expressionless:

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Nope. My boyfriend changes our two month old son all the time. Even if I’m sitting right next to them.

No it definitely isn’t a normal thing with new dads :sweat_smile: He helped bring that baby into the world, he can help changing diapers.

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l Get paid over $115 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19047 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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Hmmm. They used to show footage on America’s Funniest Home Videos of new fathers getting ready to change diapers… masking up, putting on gloves, the whole bit… and still gagging and carrying on when it was a poopy one. But they STILL changed the diaper! My kids’ dad was bad about not changing the kids’ diapers. I ended up stuck at the base commissary for 3 and a half hours one Saturday, came home and carried in all the groceries to find he hadn’t fed or changed the kids since I had been gone. We had a 16 month old and a newborn. I never left them home again. That was in 1977. It’s now 2022. You have to decide if you can pull this guy into the 21st century, and out of the South where women have been chattel, where my kids’ dad was from. You gotta tell him that he helped make the kid, including the parts that pee and poop, so he can help change diapers. Tell him that he pees and poops and manages to wipe himself, so he can handle it.

Unfortunately, Father does not mean dad. And dad does not mean man.

Nooooo not normal… time to start

Not normal whatsoever. Not even a little bit. You poor soul found a useless man.

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That’s ridiculous! Time to man up for his child. Just wow.

No and we wouldn’t be having anymore kids. Probably divorce too. Seriously. My husband helped me after giving birth with all my bathroom need with all 4 of ours. Has NEVER not helped me change a diaper. Any dad or good husband is gonna help do these things. IMO. Or maybe I just have a amazing husband.