Please keep anonymous. My husband’s son is ten, and he still pees in the bed. We have to buy him small adult pull-ups for men bc he has already outgrown the kid pull-ups. Like this isn’t just a little bit of pee; we can wake him up several times throughout the night to get up and go pee, but by the time he wakes up, he has soaked through the pull-up, the pee pad, sheets and has already soaked to the mattress. This is a nightly thing, and having to wash the bed sheets and mattress every day is getting to be a little much. My husband, which is the child’s father, already asked the mother to take him to the doctor bc this isn’t normal and the amount that he pees. He has nothing to drink after 7 pm, and we cut out soda altogether. His mother has insurance on him and said he pediatrician said it’s normal and he will grow out of it, but I think there is something else going on like he needs to go to a urologist and be checked out. My husband has told his son’s mother that he will make the appointment and take his son, so she doesn’t have to, but she always says he’s fine. This is so frustrating and upsets me so much bc the mother acts like this isn’t something she should be concerned about. I have a 9-year-old, and the boys can’t even share their bed together bc my stepson completely soaks him at night, and they both wake up wet and have to take showers. This is not fair to anyone, especially my stepson bc I just feel like his mother doesn’t care, and if I try to step in and say something, she will get upset. My husband and I have been together for three years and have a child together, so I feel like I should have some say in this and get this figured out, but I just don’t know how to approach the mother without starting an argument. Any advice would be great, thanks!
Needs to see a doctor both physical and psychological.
I peed the bed until I was 22. My mom took me to the doctor and they said I just had a small bladder. Try setting an alarm for him to wake up and go potty. Sometimes it just happens and nothing we do can stop it.
You dont really have any say unless your husband takes him to the doctor. Boys wetting the bed is normal and until he hits puberty a doctor probably wont do anything about it. I would suggest a chiropractor I’ve heard that helps ( if dad doesnt have legal custody he needs to work on getting it so he can make medical decisions too) he could simply have a small bladder and there is nothing you can do about it.
Maybe just say “ I think maybe we should get a second opinion so that we can all help him get through this. If it’s nothing then we all know that we did the right thing!”
Take him to the doctor. Some children don’t develop the part of the brain that wakes you up to pee until way later. There are medications and routines that can help develop it and prevent future issues.
I have heard of ppl using devices that help wake kids up on there own. I believe there is a watch he can wear and it may vibrate or alarm to wake him up so he doesn’t pee the bed. Definitely Google that before getting him put on any medicine for it.
My brother had to be on medication for this for a few years at that age! My 10 year old will have the occasional accident because he sleeps to hard. It could be normal and it could be a condition. I highly doubt a pediatrician said it’s normal though! That is definitely not normal. He needs to see a urologist. If I was your husband I’d make the appointment and take him regardless of what the mother says.
It is very normal. My son did till around 13. Boys are prone to bed wetting. And let him kn now it’s ok and dont make him feel bad
I took a few classes in psychology and sociology and that is a sign of anxiety. If he doesn’t do it through out the day time and has complete control, I don’t know/think it would be a physical condition.
Have dad make appointment and take him anyways. If your that worried. I peed the bed till I was 12. Both my sons still so at almost 11yrs and 6 yrs old. He’s seen the doctor and specialist and it’s pretty normally they said. You can try the vibrating thing that wakes him up just wait liquid should be cut off a little earlier than 7 and of course the waking him up more often to go to the bathroom in at night is about all you can do.
My 10 year old also pees the bed still. We have seen doctors and done everything imaginable even hormone medicine and the bed alarms. Nothing has worked… 
I’d take him to rule anything bad out but basically it just is what it is until he grows out if it.
Been there and it’s normal. Probably a small bladder. Best bet is yeah get a second opinion. But ours has been to 3 doctors and still the same. Now he’s getting better but 3 days out of 4 he has dry nights
So…why cant your husband take him to the dr?
Everything I’ve ever read in scientific journals regarding bed wetting says not to wake them in the middle of the night just to use the bathroom. Do your own research before a Dr visit, if that ends up happening; Google scholar. Also, his dad doesn’t need mom’s permission to take him to a Dr. I agree with others above, should definitely consider medical Dr and psychologist.
Call the doctor n get him checked out even if the mother disagrees cause something not right. They obviously share custody so he can make an appointment too.
No more overnights until she takes him.
Not to be the its normal crowd, but my little brother peed to bed until he was almost 14. And my own son peed to bed until he was about 12-13. My brothers pediatrician and my sons said the same thing rhat its normal and will be outgrown. Kind of a boy thing. My sons ped did prescribe a nasal spray that was supposed to help but it wasn’t covered under state medical and cost over $100 out of pocket, so we hust dealt with it. I never made a big deal out of it. From experience with my brother because I did attend his dr appts I knew it can be normal for boys. But I took my son just to be on the safe side. But I didn’t make a big deal out of it just cleaned up, morning baths, etc…
I wet the bed until 9/10. My mum took me to the doctor, said it was my body growing so very fast, also holding it all day long.
I would keep insisting he go to his PCP.
This is coming from someone who watches way too much TV. But is there any emotional or behavioral problems? Unfortunately (but definitely not in all cases), bedwetting is a sign of abuse. I definitely suggest the same as above. Needs to see a pediatrician & a mental health doctor
My son is 9 and is prescribed desmopression for bedwetting and no fluids after 8pm
I did until my teens. Eventually out grew it but caused from stress mostly. Good luck
Get a mattress protector is like a plastic type fitted sheet that goes over the mattress to keep it from getting wet and smelling like urine
Our 10year old doesnt pee the bed an hes a heavy sleeper once hes out but he knows to wake himself to go.
Husband should take him to the doctor they should have child’s insurance card on file.
Then instead of talking about it get the child to the doctor. Your husband has every right to get his son checked out.
take him to the doctor, get his sugar tested. Rule out things before considering it normal.
My step son still pees the bed as well and he is 9 years old. He has gotten better these past few month because he is outgrowing it. We also make sure he isn’t drinking anything an hour before he goes to bed. I have been with my husband for four years and I don’t get involved with the parenting between him and his ex. If he needs to talk to her about the kids issues he does it and he is able to call the pediatrician and make an appt and let her know so she can go if she wants to just as she can call the pediatrician and make an appt and she lets him know so he can go if he can. I don’t know the relationship you have with the ex and how she will react with you speaking to her about it. I would see if your husband can talk to her or just call the pediatrician and set up an appt to see what options you guys have to help him. Good luck! It’s always hard with a blending family.
Your husband is his parent, if your stepsons mother isn’t taking him in, then he needs to do it regardless of what she says. This could be symptoms of different types of abuse, stress, anxiety or something physically wrong with his bladder control. To let it go isn’t fair to the child. Advocate for your stepson, he needs to be seen by a doctor.
Get a water proof mattress pad for the mattress!
My step son does this and only thing we found to work is he can’t drink or eat after 630 at night
Your husband can make an appointment and take him. He doesn’t need her to approve. This shouldn’t be hard. In the meantime, I’m sure he doesn’t feel good about it and you guys should make sure you don’t make him feel bad. His dad needs to just needs take him to the dr.
My son is 11 and still does it. He has ADHD and his pediatrician said boys can do this until 16. We have a hospital grade mattress. He doesnt do it all the time , but every now and again.
Well my Son wet the bed until after he was ten! My other three were easy to potty train for them it happened very early on. I never stressed to him. If he knows you are frustrated it will make it worse! He cannot help it maybe your son sleeps especially hard or he has stress in his life. Don’t punish him counter productive. If he is stressed try to help in that area! Doctors cannot help! It is common with some children!!! He will outgrow this in time! Don’t make him feel guilty plz! Be kind! I feel for that boy my wonderful son outgrew his nightly wetting! He never got in trouble ever
It could be diabetes
My son never had a dry night until his teens. Very frustrating for all. We tried medicine and it didn’t work. We tried waking him, we tried an alarm etc. We went to a urologist and they said he would grow out of it …and he did.
have ur husband make the appointment amd take him anyways…they also habe waterproof mattress covers for 10$ at walmart. get one of them so only bedsheets get wet and not mattress…i have no other advice other then take him urself since mom wont
Nothing to drink after a certain time and set an alarm to have him pee throughout the night. In my family this is hereditary and it due to some medical problems like underdeveloped bladder. Just the no drinks and alarms first then maybe got to the dr if that doesn’t work.
Good luck to ya’ll and please keep in mind that its embarrassing and could effect his body image too.
Just be patient. No kid pees the bed because they want to. He’ll grow out of it.
Wake him up multiple times at night and make him go use the bathroom. My youngest daughter use to do the same thing we stopped drinks at 7pm and started waking her up before we went to bed. No it didn’t stop it all together but now she wakes up on her own and goes. She still has accidents but they are far and between. Sometimes she says she was scared to get out of the bed. Maybe he is too? If it continues I’d put him in a bedtime pull up and make it were only he gets wet! I had to do my daughter that way but it helped!!
What kind of legal custody does he have? The mother sounds uninterested in getting him help. Why doesn’t he have his own medical card for the child? That’s not fair to him or you guys. Sometimes bed wetting is linked to being sexually molested. Shit I would just pay cash for the doctor visits at this point and see what they tell you guys. Could be that babies kidneys. She needs to let you guys take him if she’s not going to do her job .
My daughter will be 11 in July, and struggles with this. She has also suffered from chronic UTIs since she was 3; she has an abnormally short urethra. Coupled with a bladder that is undersized, it’s kind of a recipe for disaster. Even if she has nothing to drink after 6pm, she struggles. She not only has incontinence supplies, but we put medical-grade washable mattress pads down both over and under the sheets, and have a waterproof mattress protector that zips over the entire mattress. In addition to us reassuring her that it is NOT her fault, she knows how to run the washer and dryer, and knows that we expect her to do so.
Your husband should make the appointment and take him.
I would have them test his A1C its not normal at that age.
Get him checked for diebetes
My son is 9 and no longer does this BUT he was doing it at 7 and I bought something called underwear pee monitor/ alarm off of Amazon as recommended by my family doctor. It makes a loud noise and wakes them up and vibrates when they pee. We tried absolutely every single thing you could and not a thing worked until this. It took about 2 weeks and we have not had an accident in 2 years! Used the same thing on my then 4 year old and boom no more accidents. Its called conditioning. I world highly recommend trying it. It simply just clips onto their underwear at night and that’s it. However what someone said before is accurate that bed wetting can be a sign of anxiety (Im a degree psychology major). That’s absolutely not what I would jump to right away though. Just be aware of it, try the monitor with a $5 waterproof mattress cover and set up an appt with a urologist if it doesn’t work within a month 
Get him a bed wetting alarm. Worked wonders for my daughter.
The dad has rights to insurance info but his pediatrician should already have it on file. Just set an appt and take him anyway mom doesn’t have to know.
Make the appt and take the poor child. I did have an ex who’s brother peed the bed until he left for college… I thought it was strange but he didnt stop until in his 20s … there could be a lot factors… but definitely get him checked out.
If shes takin him and the doctor says hes normal dont push it. It’s not your place. Some kids wet the bed well past 10. At 10 though make him do his own laundry. Your 9 year old and 10 year olds shouldn’t be sleeping together anyways so that shouldn’t be an issue. My brother wet the bet till he was around 12. I’ve known others to so the same. My son wet the bed till around 6. Every child is different. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. He could just be an extremely deep sleeper. He will grow out of it eventually. Let it be. If a physician says hes normal, hes probably just fine. There’s no need to put him on medication and take him to a bunch of different doctors. When hes 16 and still wetting the bed then maybe worry. But for now I wouldn’t worry. There’s plenty of kids who wet the bed at 10.
Furthermore, I would also be upset if I was his Mom and another woman tried to step in.
Medical issue. My son outgrew it. Or rather, his bladder issues resolved after growth spurt. Or he’s sleeping Super deep and can’t wake up
Definitely get him checked my cousin was like that and she was saying she didn’t even know she had to pee didn’t feel it. We would all say she’s just lazy to go to the bathroom. Turns out she had a premature bladder. And some thing where she couldn’t feel herself needing to pee. Always get that checked check his urinary his bladder kidneys. But that’s not always the case sometimes a lot of kids just do it. Try making him clean the pee.
Okay so first I want to say limiting liquid after 7pm will not do anything!!! You need to literally keep log of what he drinks, also if he is outside and active etc. Second limit any severe intake between 3 and 8 this will help alleviate some of the bed wetting. Now the next thing is I am sorry but this is normal in some children. Does it suck and is it a pain yes BUT they cannot help it so please do not punish them. It tends to curb between 14 and 16. And it could be worse… I have a 7 yr old that smears when left unattended in the bathroom or anywhere when he tries holding bowel movements. If you get him on the schedule I outlined you will either see where that influx is coming from or just have it on a routine regardless.
My son wet the bed till he was 15. Doctor said it was anxiety and some sort of depression. He went into a deep sleep and didn’t feel when he had to pee. He will outgrow this. Give it time and don’t embarrass him or hurt his feelings because believe me they feel very bad and embarrassed about the bed wetting.
Its normal more so in boys than girls, he will outgrow it just give him time. Buy a rubber mattress cover so he doesn’t ruin the bed. My step son did it and I have two nephews that have done it, and just about the time they grow out of it you have a whole other problem on your hands lol
Reading these comments, I guess I’m blessed. My boys have no troubles and haven’t for years. They are now 12, 11, and 9.
Just get your husband to take him and check, won’t hurt, but sometimes they do grow out of it. Sometimes there is an underlying issue
My step daughter wet the bed until she was about 9-10 and at first they said it was due to kidney reflux and holding her pee “too good” during the day and then when she relaxed during sleep it would just come out. She got surgery to correct it but she still wet. She finally stopped after she was diagnosed with sleep apnea and they took out her tonsils and then it just stopped.
Maybe you need to let him drink what he wants for water and his bladder may wake him up to go. I don’t believe in holding the water only sugary drinks. If the bladder doesn’t fill they may not feel the urge , just go on and off all night in their sleep
He needs to be checked by a pediatrician. Mine told me peeing of bed over the age of 8 can be a sign of a medical condition.
My child’s doctor said he had an underdeveloped bladder. And that if the bed wetting doesn’t stop by age 12 there is a medication that they can take to help their bladder develop. We ended up getting the medication. He only had to be on it for about 6ish months and the bed wetting over that time decreased until it stopped. We got a zippered mattress protector from target for like 10 bucks limited drinking past a certain time and did pull ups. I’d find out if your husband is authorized to seek treatment on the insurance plan. If he is then just take him and tell her about it afterwards. I know that sounds shady, but that poor kiddo deserves an answer. As hard as it is on you all it’s harder and embarrassing for him.
What is your custody agreement? If you have medical split 50/50 you dont need to wait on her…your husband can sign a waiver at dr office saying its ok for you to take your stepson if that works better for your family’s schedule
Are any of you a step mom or have a child with a steo mom that is saying its not her place? I grew up with a step dad and if my step dad had that mentality I probably wouldn’t be here today. Smh. As a step parent its you’re job to be a mom or dad there is no Step. Smh. I can’t believe some of you women.
His dad can call pediatrician office and speak to nurse. If mom has already mentioned it then it wouldn’t be an issue. Do you have reason not to believe the mom? Also, some kids do have accidents until puberty and beyond…
There are nasal drops your doctor can prescribe to help if mom will take him in
Take him to a chiropractor.
First of all buy a waterproof mattress protector. Secondly talk to his dr.
I have 3 boys 14,7,3 and none of them wet the bed…my 3 year old still wears pull ups at night but he doesnt even wet it sometimes so I dk about the whole it’s normal thing 
but I’ve read it’s a sign of stress and anxiety
If she said the pediatrician says everything is fine then she has addressed it. It happens. Look into getting him a catheter bag that attaches to the penis with a condom type attachment, it’s not inserted. Could be more comfortable until he grows out of it.
Get a cheap dollar general alarm clock! Worked for us and now my SD gets up on her own.
My son is 9 and still wets the bed. I took him to the pediatrician and she told me it was normal and he will eventually out grow it. And I know several kids that age and older that wet the bed.
My nephew pees the bed and just turned 13. It’s gotten less and less frequent though. At 10 it was most nights of the week and also large amounts. As he’s gotten older it’s gotten better but not until the last year or so. He can go a month with no accidents and then have 3 nights in a row where he pees. It’s normal for boys to wet the bed until puberty. I know his dad and grandad also had bed wetting issues until the early teens; so could also be hereditary.
I think the most important thing would be to make sure you’re not guilt tripping your step some. I’m sure he already feels embarrassed as it is. Buy a better mattress pad to protect the mattress and get him to help load the washer, not to make him feel bad but just to help with normal chores. Be kind and supportive, encourage and reassure him that it will get better.
Hunnie honestly I’d maybe get a 2nd opinion. I know first hand a 2nd opinion that has saved more than 1 life or saved from further complications. Dad should have rights to doctors too and its just as much his right as the bio moms to take him to a doctor atleast thats how it is with the father of my child. If one of us thinks he needs a 2nd opinion it happens. Yea some kids do it but some kids also have inner problems. Shaming him by forcing him to clean it himself wi help nothing. Maybe have him Help clean it when it happens. He may grow out of it yes but he may develop problems further down with his bladder or prostate.
If you guys can’t take him to s doctor appointment then take him to an urgent care or er, get something on the record and try to get him refered to a specialist. My niece has done this all her life her Kidneys are badly damaged, I have another niece who had similar issues and hers was a fixable medic emergency. It’s not normal and either mom isn’t accurate in telling you she took him to a doctor or the doctor isn’t doing a good enough job.
Why doesnt the dad make an appt and take him? Why does the mother have to?? If he has concerns he should take him and voice them… I dont think you should. I do think boys struggle more so than girls and sleep way harder… do you wake him every 2 hrs??
There could be a health reason underlying. Talk to his dr about it.
If it’s such a concern for the childs well being, then forget the insurance and just make the appointment and take him.
My step son is 14 and when he and his twin sisters were younger they did this when they were constipated.
Why does the dad need the mother’s permission/approval to take him to the dr?
If I already took my kid to the dr and got a clean bill of health, then no, you’re not getting my insurance info to repeat what’s already done. That bill ends up in my corner. About 5% of kids that age wet the bed. Especially boys. Unless this is something new, then don’t stress. Try alarms.
No advice from me. I had to grow out of it. 13 Year old
You gotta watch what he drinks. Start setting time limits.
I worked child care for 16yrs, I was a private nanny in between gaps. I do not think it’s normal for a 10yr old to still pee the bed and have to wear pull ups. I’m not a medical professional, but in my opinion I would get him to a pediatric urologist ASAP.
There are all kinds of reasons he could be bed wetting could be abuse,could be something medical like a uti could be somethimg simple like maybe he should go to the bathroom before bed maybe he’s dreaming he’s in the bathroom and he pees and doesn’t realize until it’s too late could be anything …also it says he is 10 why dont you have him clean up his mess show him how so you don’t have to it’s basically like making a bed that way he won’t feel embarrassed and and you can put a extra set of bedding for when he needs it and tell him where to put the wet stuff that way he is learning about good hygiene and cleaning up after himself And to be responsible and self reliant and eases the load off of you and let him know to wake you should he need help with something hope this helps
My son had an over active bladder and wet the bed until he was 11. He grew out of it is what the dr said and also said it was normal
Both my step kids do this. They are older like him, too. I had the older one looked at. All they found was she wasn’t emptying her bladder.then at night, she does. Your husband should be able to use the insurance for his son. That’s How it works here. No matter who carries the insurance, either patent can take the child.
My grandson still wets the bed. Its from sleeping hard and his bladder has.not developed fully yet. I got a zipper mattress cover then another fabric waterproof mattress cover to go on top that. Try adult diapers in different brands to see what works better. Please don’t think he’s lazy or punish him for something he cannot control because he’s going threw enough mentally as well having to deal with this.
There are two things… hope this is helpful. The first is some boys need a little operation, not sure name of it, bit helps them feel sensation of needing to go when they are sleeping. I know someone at age of 11 who had it and it completely stopped the bedwetting. The second is that there is a little red pill that you can take at night to keep you from having to pee. A Dr prescribes it- you take it a week or two then stop. It helps reset you in a way so when you stop taking it you recognize the feeling of needing to go and you wake up to go. Sorry I don’t know medical name of operation or name of pill. A Dr would know if you described these though.
You don’t need to approach the mother. Have your husband take him to the Dr. It may be nothing. It might be something he just stops doing in time.
First start with a mattress pad protector to avoid scrubbing the mattress. If his father is able to make an apt and take him then just do so. It could be nothing, it could be something . At least you will have more guidance in how to handle the situation . It’s possible the doctor told mom it was normal and overlooked it but if dad feels like a second opinion is needed then he should get one.
I had the same issue until about that age. I went to the chiropractor. The issue was I have scoliosis and it pinched a nerve on my spine when I laid down and caused me to not feel the urge to go. After getting adjustments weekly, I stopped.
I peed the bed til 9-10years old. I was taken to the doctor and told my kidneys weren’t mature enough yet. Nothing anyone could do, I eventually grew out of it.
I wet the bed until I was in Jr high 
. I was (and still am) a very heavy sleeper and often dreamt that I was on the toilet only to wake up drenched bc I peed in my sleep. Sucks to clean it up, I’m sure, but hey parenthood! Don’t make him feel bad for it. Shit happens.
There could be signs of abuse coming from his mom. I’ve spoke to a detective and a child psychologist and they both told me that signs of abuse include bed wetting and night terrors. And if his mom gets mad at you, then she’s probably hiding something.
First I would get plastic sheets from walmart
Get the adenoids taken out I did for my girl and my boy haven’t pee’d the bed since
My son was this age and had a few accidents. Took him to his pediatrician and he was borderline diabetic. This is a symptom. Have his a1c checked to be safe.
My little sister needed medication for a few years. She had to see a special pediatric urologist.
Get his tonsils checked, if enlarged that may be causing sleep apnea and making him so tired he doesn’t wake up to pee…
My step son was 12 ad still wetting the bed. A child at that age wetting the bed means they are not comfortable in the environment.