If nothing changes for her when she acts out she is not going to change. I agree with the other comments on having her earn things back. If she wants to hang out with friends, have shopping money, have a cell phone ect she needs to earn it. She needs to learn to be a contributing member of the household (by doing things that are expected of her like making sure her room is tidy and cleaning up around the house). I would even talk to her about how many hours you have to work to be able to provide her with the things she enjoys so she learns to appreciate it more. For example a cell phone requires you to work X amount of hours in a week to be able to pay for it-and if you’re doing that for her and she’s treating you like garbage and not listening then theirs an imbalance , it’s gone until it’s earned back. Theirs no way I’d be paying for my kids phone while they act that way.
Stop buying things for her,If she’s not helping out with chores and things ,cut out the treats ,tough Love, Remember,You reap what you sow
Stop giving her money. She needs to earn it the same way you do. She can earn it by doing chores, and if she can’t muster a good attitude, she can at least be civil and moderately respectful to the person who is keeping A roof over her head. Go back to using A chore chart, otherwise you’ll be arguing about what did or didn’t get done, and how much back talk and disrespect she dished out.
But before you institute all those changes, try talking to her like an adult. Tell her how hard you work, how tired you are, how much you love her, and that you need her help to keep the home running smoothly. You can’t do it all by yourself anymore. Then arrive at an agreement, and create the chore chart (contract) together. When she is 14 she’ll be old enough to get an after school job. This will prepare her for that. Good luck.
I’m sorry But You Let her treat you like shit?? Wow just wow. Maybe you didn’t Honor your mother and father? That is a commandment of God🙏🏽 prayers for you😭
Remember you’re not there to be her best friend. She doesn’t need to like you all of the time. Hormones are horrible. She’ll eventually snap out of it. Take EVERYTHING away. All electronics. Make her earn them back. Chores, grades etc. Teach her the sense of responsibility. She wants new designer clothes? She can do chores to earn them. You gotta set those boundaries and one day she will thank you. Short term it will feel like a battle… but long term it is extremely good for her.
Well, it’s hard to be a parent and a friend I have been there. They can make you feel like the crap on their shoe. Start taking her phone, not asking for it taking it, don’t give it back, have her do chores she needs to learn how to do for her self like you said you are on your feet all day and she is 13. Don’t let her make you feel like you are the bad guy that’s where they get you. Have her volunteer places where she see that she has it better than she thinks. Don’t let her manipulate you it will never stop. Matters and morals are important of she can give them to you then she don’t get a penny of your money. She needs to learn that life isn’t what she wants it’s what she works for. Maybe she could help around the house and get spending money. (this would be different than chores)
I am going through similar with my daughter but she is nearly 20. I kicked her out and she is living with her boyfriend. I just got out of a toxic marriage and she was happy for a few weeks and turned everything around. The boyfriend is toxic and has turned her away from her biological dad’s family and now doing it to mine.
This Exactly what is going on in my household, she manipulates me to the point that I literally feel as if I’m doing something wrong to her. I had to contact her school counselor to let him know about the behavioral issues I’m having with her.
You have a lot of suggestions but first thing is bring her dad to court for child support. If he denies her the court will do a dna test. Do this immediately as the clock only starts ticking once you file. If you can’t afford an atty the court might appoint you one - or go to legal aid services. This will at least help you financially. As for your daughter she sounds pretty typical but you still need to enforce rules. Eventually they love you again.
stop giving what she wants money doesn’t grow on trees AND ALSO TELL HER IF SHE WANTS MONEY SHE’LL HAVETO DO A LOT OF CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE !like washing dishes / dusting/ doing homework before bed ! and if she has a t.v. in her take that away from her too ,if u can’t take the t.v. away ask your neigbough if he can do it for you ! and if it gets not so good take away her phone for a month , and just explain to her that if she wnts any of the thing that u took from her back than she will have to earn them back from u ! honey i’ve been there with my 2 kids and yes it is hard but it does have to be done at some point in her life ! she may hate you but in the long run she will also learn a valuable lesson to - like money doesn’t grow on trees and also maybe learn that she can’t have everything that she wants without earning it some how
I have a 15 year old son 13 year old son a 12 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. If they disrespect me they know they will lose whatever privileges they have. I work 60 hours a week and my husband works more. We bust our asses for the things they have and if they don’t mind and do what there told they lose there stuff until they earn it back. Time to put your foot down momma. I am 30 and won’t have my kids disrespecting me. I tried being the friend and I tried playing nice but it will get you no where. They will grow up to be spoiled brats if you don’t put your foot down now
It’s time for the I want game momma. You want her room clean , she wants money to do things. First you get a clean room and decent grades, then she gets money for whatever you approve of.
I feel this in my core. I have my daughter 12 days before I turned 21 and she will be 13 in January and acts the same way. He dad has never been there for her though.
Did you ever get her therapy to help her work through he father abandoning her for so long? And then deciding to show up out of the blue? It may seem like that wouldn’t or isn’t affecting her but it seeps in. And to address the lying.
ItS past time to set down rules for the household. No extra money if she doesn’t complete the tasks she should be doing. What discipline and then punishment have you used? Show and tell her that the disrespect stops if she wants extras. People who treat people terribly don’t get extras from them.
She has a reason for that sense of entitlement. Could it be you spoiled her? Stop giving!! Let her hate you, she does anyway so she thinks. This is your fault for letting her disrespect you. Practice tough love!!
I feel this in my soul… my boy is almost 16… I can only hope that things get better for you, both of you.
Welcome to the teenage years.
Duuuuude, why are you giving this child anything???
Stop. Immediately!!
She needs to EARN what you give her.
She needs to do chores and WAY more importantly, she needs to be respectful and kind or she gets nothing!!
I As well feel this in my core I had my oldest 4 months after turning 21. She’s 11 going on 12 in nov and is the same way as well. I make her do chores, clean her room & has to have decent grades but I make earn the money and if she don’t then I don’t give her any. Her real has never been there tho. And personally I could give 2 fucks lol My husband of 10 years has been her dad for 10 years and he’s the best dad there is. We don’t spoil her either lol We teach her that you can’t just have everything handed to you my husband and I were raised like that so I won’t let our kids be brought thinking that they can get whatever they want without earning it. Mine is hitting puberty so I know that plays in it and she may possibly be bi polar like her sperm donor I’m gonna wait till she’s a little
But older before I test her because right now its kinda hard to determine if she is as well. Plus I refuse to put her on pills for that my second oldest is on sezuire med and if thc was legal I would be having them both on it.
Stop doing all those things. You are responsible for her health and safety ofcourse. But you don’t have to pay her cell phone, give her extra money or pay for her activities. You don’t have to buy her new clothes and she can eat basic foods. Bet a week or 2 of that will. make her grateful for all you do. Let her earn those privileges
Hang in there mama, I wish i had advice for you. I was that teen and raised a couple of them who are 18 and 20 now but im pretty sure it was sheer luck and some prayer that got us here lol. They turned out some pretty good kids so my heart is full. With that said she may be battling something that’s bothering her in silence and holding it in so as not to bother you. Sometimes when kids do that they don’t realize it causes them to overreact to everything else
Actions have consequences- it’s time you taught her so. She wants to act tough - mouth off - treat you like crap - stop giving her money for all the clothes she wants - can’t respect what you do - I wouldn’t pay for activities. If it isn’t appreciated - then spend it on yourself. It’s not her “right” to receive anything beyond a roof over her head, basic clothing and food… anything else - you provide to make her life easier. If she making your life harder… then as stated … stop with the luxuries. Otherwise, she will only get worse.
She can hate you all she wants. . . She’s a child still and needs a parent verses a friend. Take things away, ground her, etc. Whatever you need to do then do it. Have her learn the sacrifices you make for her and have her make some as well. But also spend time with her, don’t just work 24/7 and be too tired to be involved in her life.
Cut off the money, spend more time, give chores to earn cash.
It’s tough to raise kids. I know that for sure. I raised two. I had a teenaged daughter once and it was a giant mess. What you’re going to have to do is sit her down and tell her that things have to change. The disrespect and lack of help around the house are no longer an option. She’s going to start picking up after herself and keeping her room clean or the cellphone is going bye bye. It will be put up till you see that she is mature enough to have a cellphone. That means she’s going to be responsible for her own messes. Also, she’s going to start treating you decently, or she can expect to stay home a lot. Why should you allow her to go out with her friends, giving her money to do that, if she’s going to talk to you like you’re dirt? That’s not fair. Tell her you realize that her life hasn’t exactly been ideal, but nobody’s ever is. If she needs to talk about it, you’re there to listen to whatever she needs to say. That you love her and want her to know that you’ll always be there for her. But you don’t want to deal with any more garbage out of her.
Someone once told me, give your children all the basic lessons u got growing up and more. U felt what your mum did to u was wrong, to earn your way now it made u a better adult. So u need to pass that lesson down. Ask your daughter if she would prefer to live with her dad since she doesn’t respect you at all
Hate to say it but you’re being you’re own worst enemy. It’s your job to teach your daughter how to treat others! Stop enabling her B.S.
Come on Mumma! You’ve forgotten your own power. Get educated and turn this around or she’ll be dumping you in aged care and running off with your cash when you’re old.
You allowed her to take your power away, Y OU NEED TO STEP UP AN GIVE HER NO SPECIAL TREATS TILL SHE LEARNS RESPECT / OR GO AN LIVE WITH HER DAD … 
Hunny I am going through this as well!! There is sooooo much that has happened this year… my daughter turned 13 in April… and there is so much drama and heart ache within the few months of this year… soooo many sacrifices… multiple meeting with the principal&vice principal
I have taken the phone, she is only dropped off and picked up from school now
The BARK app is saving grace on knowing what is going on through any social media app that is on your kids phone… it filters everything for you and sends you alerts… yes you have to pay for it… but trust me it will save you so much time and effort and it will truly show what kind of people your kids hangout with/accociate with
Send her to boarding school 
nah jks
Practice tough love, i was like this is a teen and my aunt did tough love (i hated it ) but it set me up for life in regards to how i needed to be as an adult. More kids these days need tough love as hard as it is to do
Unfortunately I don’t have any answers for you but let me say you sound like such a awesome mum 
Stop babying her. She’s like that because you tolerate it. You’re her mom, stop trying to be her friend. My great grandmother raised me. She always said…a gift freely given is unappreciated by the receiver…damn if she wasn’t right yet again…
Start taking things away from her. If she doesn’t help you out then she doesn’t get extra anything. Life is about working for what you need. If you don’t start now you will never get her to be responsible.
This is age related she is almost a teen. I have a teen and an almost 10 and the stage of 10-14 seemed to be the hardest in terms of attitude etc. But you are the adult and it is your home and your rules and if she doesn’t like it then tough.
teenagers its a wild rough ride.
A teenage daughter is so much harder to raise than a teenage boy. The teenage girls in my family acted just like her but they eventually snapped out of it. When she acts out she needs a consequence such as no extracurricular activities, no cell phone, no computer and no TV. Stay strong and enforce consequences.
Well she’s got you trained!!! She manipulates you! Do not put up with it! Everytime she disrespects you,take something from her room and lock it up. Make her earn it back by doing dishes,etc. Don’t give in. Dr Phil method works cuz showing her who the boss is will teach her not to disrespect you. Ignore her tantrums and nasty mouth. A little slap across the face by my mom taught me that and it smartened me up. Don’t try to overcompensate for lack of a father and while ur at it go back child support,you need it and not free money for,payback for all the money you handed her for nothing. Now do it before it gets worse,geez
Maybe have her screened for mental health issues. If you think she’s dealing with a lot maybe she is. She could have depression or bpd or bipolar. Better to get her diagnosed and help now than enable her and see her get worse and throw her life away 
Send her back to her dad
My daughter is 8 and has a foul attitude sometimes. If I ask her to do something it’s the end of the world and “she has to do everything”. Tell her you won’t be funding extracurricular activities if she can’t be respectful. I take away technology from any of my 3 kids if their behaviour gets too much
Teach her the hard way, stop giving into her!
Take her phone away too if you have to, cut down on giving her money and basically start setting boundaries and rules. If she wants to throw a fit about it, so be it!
You keep giving into her and she takes it all for granted!
Remember, you are the adult here, not her!
Make her work for it! Turn off her phone,close the ATM,let her do her own laundry or she can go to school smelling like dirty, ext… stop it now !
It’s time for you to put your foot down stop buying jer whatever she wants you will see a whole different side
This is the result of parents trying to be friends with their kids instead of being parents!! YOU ARE THE ADULT PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!!
I would have her speak to a therapist. She needs some help figuring out her feelings.
Shut her phone off until she learns to respect you. Maybe therapy? It also could be because of her father.
No cell phone, car etc till she adopts a new attitude. I found that you have to be tough.
Take shit away…u only have cloth her, feed her, and make sure she is safe and in a clean warm environment…strip her room of everything except bed and blankets…take privileges away…
I would not give her money for fun things unless she earns it, don’t pay for her phone unless she earns it, you know, make her ve responsible. It sounds like you have the same problem I had, we as single moms want to give our kids everything. I had to stop because I noticed my daughter was becoming an entitled little girl and I didn’t like it. Tough love is an ok thing.
You. Are. Her. Mother.
If she will not do as she is told then ground her, give her extra chores etc. Sit her down and tell her how it all makes you feel. She’s only 13. Need to put your foot down and stop buying her everything she wants. It’s the definition of a spoilt brat .
Stop paying for her cell phone giving her money for things that are not NEEDED and for anything EXTRA! When you take those things away until she can treat you respectfully she will learn that things are earned. She does sound very entitled and you need to stop her behavior now before it gets worse.
The law says you must provide a safe place to live, food, water, heat, clothing, a bed and an education. Anything else is icing on the cake. Take away the phones, designer duds, TVs, streaming services etc. ALL of it. If she wants access, she can help you around the house etc. Don’t punish her by taking things away for bad behaviour, let her know those are privileges, that need to be earned!!! If she wants to behave like a toddler, live like one.
Yoou need intervention. Counseling
Can’t treat you with respect she gets nothing
good morning… there is food if you are hungry … (short sentences)… soap is there if you need to wash your clothes… ….you get my drift… and keep a happy positive attitude even though you don’t feel happy this is a crucial age … do a complete 360 and make her head spin… don’t ask for her to clean up…leave it … eventually she will see she will not drain you but still hug and kiss her on the head or cheek when leaving to school ect. even if she pushes you away still say love you have a great day ….if she wants to have a messy room, okay sleep with the dust mites and beg bugs or ants that will accumulate … it is hard but when you show your done even though you want to say clean up or pick up like a broken record don’t break… and if she acted just like you … ( what were you so upset about at her age …because you can make this y’all’s connection or reconnection)talk to her about that say I was the same way but this was my reason … what is yours? so you can connect with her … you are mother and daughter and it must be really bad if you said it is making it difficult to like her and be around her… don’t let it happen… and most importantly pray ask the Lord to touch her, and help you… He will help you and when He does thank Him… of course the devil loves to divide don’t let him win. Because this is also a spiritual fight as well
edit to add just cause I know
being sensitive is sometimes a mask for anger or resentment… I found that out the hard way that’s why I said ask her[quote=“AshleyLynch, post:1, topic:18914, full:true”]
I unexpectedly and unintentionally got pregnant at 20 yrs old, and had my daughter a month before I turned 21. I had support from family, but lost most of my friends. Anyways, my daughter’s dad was not in the picture until she was 8 years old, when he decided that he “wanted a relationship with this daughter.” Mind you, when I found out that I was pregnant, I told him that he was the father, and he told me that I was too young and not ready to be a mother and he didn’t know if it was his or not. So after 8 years of him not being in her life, my daughter agreed to meet with him after lots of pressure from him. After a few visits with him, my daughter decided she wanted nothing to do with him and refused to see him. The reason I bring all of this up is because she’s now almost a teenager, and literally hates me and treats me like shit. She’s only nice to me when I give her money for her extracurricular activities… like shopping, food for when she hangs out with friends, etc. I have never received child support from her dad, so I’m doing it all on my own. I work 40+ hours a week as a medical assistant and am on my feet all day, so I’m pretty exhausted at the end of the day. I pay rent for us, buy her whatever clothes she wants, buy her food, and pay for her cell phone. And she still treats me like shit. Empty promises and multiple lies. And she literally at almost 13 yrs old throws a fit when I ask her to just clean up after herself. Not even extra chores. I just don’t know what else to do. I love her no matter what, but she’s making it extremely difficult to like her and want to be around her. I hated my mom for making me do chores and to earn my privileges, but now I’m thankful for that because I feel like I’m a decent, hard-working human being. It seems as though my daughter is very entitled, and wants to take take take without working for it. It saddens and worries me. I guess I am looking for advice and/or support on how to recognize she’s at a difficult time in her life with hormones/pressures of middle school/etc, but still setting expectations and rules without starting WW3 Signed, A single mom that has no clue how to deal with a sensitive child who acts just like me when I was her age
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Lock up your money
Or change PIN number before you carry ing out what must be done
I would let her see you fall. Sit down and start crying. My mom was so strong being a single mom and never cried. I remember her at a breaking point crying. That really opened my eyes at the time. Im not sure if it’ll work for you. Im so sorry you’re going through this. I hope and pray it gets better
I feel you on this one. As thr oldest of a single mom growing up in the 80s, I struggled to earn everything I wanted. My kids have not. I 100% believe now that the working to earn your WANTS as a kid, builds good character!!
Now, when my kids want “so and so” and have a bad attitude I ask them if THEY have “so and so” money 
Im sorry you’re going through this. My child is 13 and treats me the same for the last year. She lives with her dad now full time. Unfortunately he gives her whatever she wants no consequences. Everyone keeps saying it’s the age and they will get better but I dunno. No real advice except maybe therapy to help you deal with your feelings.
She sounds spoiled and undisciplined.
So….only buy her necessities and make her earn money to get any wants. Clothes from Walmart aren’t perfect but they are cheap and she can wear them without dying.
Turn off her access to the internet. Take her phone. Guess what? We didn’t have phones when I was a kid in the 80s.
Turn off the cable tv. Make her read books. Sit down and play cards or board games with her.
Schedule a Bible Study with her every day.
Schedule a walk with her everyday.
Schedule a bike ride, a hike, tennis.
I played with my kids. I was a single mom of 7.
If your child misbehaves practice discipline. You can praise and reward for good behavior and discipline for bad behavior.
I would also try to find her a mentor that is like a Junior in high school up that she would look up to that respects adults and isn’t a partner etc….
Get her into counseling.
I got pregnant at 20 an had my son a month before I turned 21 too. But she is a teen so hopefully this will pass. I drive school bus an I can honestly tell you the middle school age girls are the hardest with their attitudes and their attitude of I’m above all but once they get to high school that complex drops
Stop giving her stuff, tell her she either earns it or gets nothing, and stop paying for her cell phone, put ur foot down and demand respect
Your literally dealing with a typical teenager. Get tougher skin.
stop giving her money to hang out with friends. set chores and if she dnt do them she’s grounded. she sounds like a entitled brat who needs a reality check. my daughter is almost 14. i wad 20 when i had her. you need tougher skin mama
I was a single mom of 3 boys and I worked paid everything and gave them money 
But they had to wrk for it if they don’t do what they we’re supposed to do that was so much taken away .
There dad wasn’t in there life and they learned to do what they had to do and they even done more for a little extra .
This might wrk for you’re daughter . Idk
She wouldn’t be doing anything extra if my daughter treated me like trash. I would stop all of that immediately until she learns some respect.
Teenage years are hard on parents and children. Its hard to stay calm when the child you love and do everything for turns on you for no reason…but we’ve all been teens. We may not remember the tantrums but we all had them in one form or another.
You are the adult. Sit down and talk to her. Listen to what she wants…tell her what you want. Find a middle ground on both your expectations then stick to it. Remember she’s no longer a toddler and has opinions of her own that need listened to. Make a timetable and be strict on keeping it. Explain the consequences of her not following the schedule…whatever you decide between you is fair punishment.
Yes there will still be tantrums …thats normal teen behaviour…but you must be calm and consistent in your expectations and discipline.
You are mother and child…but also a team as she is no longer a youngster… Working together to make a better life and a happy home for you both.
She screams shouts and slams doors…you stay calm and ignore. Dont follow her into her room. She needs time to collect herself . She will come out calmer , you talk and the day continues. This stage will pass but you must stay firm on your decisions .
You admitted you enable her entitlement behavior so there you go. Of course you will get no respect. Either change it or wait till shes 16 see what you have deal with.
puberty mom them hormones react like this for a few years and then levle off this is temporary; you are doing a great job
I am 20 years older then my daughter I also had her at 20 and you are right this is a very hard time I had problems with my daughter from age 12 to age 20 it does get better eventually today she is 27 and we are best friends good luck
Take the cell phone, stop giving her extra money, tell her it all her chores are down and her attitude improves she can get money.
Don’t reward that attitude
I had a kid at 21 she’s 11 now
Needs to be doing chores to have responsibilities. And I wouldnt be giving her anything extra until then
You said it all in your last sentence. She’s just like you were at that age. So what worked for you? What helped you and what didn’t? What did you need more of? There’s your answers.
Have a sit down with her and explain there will be some changes as you need more help and it’s just you and her as a team and she’s at the age to start pulling her weight around. Stop handing her out money, give her a list of chores to do and if she gets them done she earns the money. If she does half the work, only gets half the pay.
First of all… she’s 12!! She doesn’t get to make the rules and sure as heck doesn’t get to talk to you that way. She doesn’t NEED a phone, that is a PRIVILEGE for someone that is a good girl. Money for food when she goes out with friends??? She’s 12, what 12 year old NEEDS money for friend time when she’s be unholy and rude all week. NOT HAPPENING. She should have a chore list, don’t do the chores no phone, no friends, no extra curricular activities. I know it sounds harsh, but I had two, they are now 19/18 girls and well, they learned real quick.
Family therapy. She has had a dad, you enable her behavior…so both get to therapy.
Do you feel guilty that you had her so young and now you’re trying to prove something? I don’t mean that in a rude way but I feel like I could be one of the main reasons why you give her everything that she wants. When she asks why if you ever decide to stop let her know that the world’s not going to just hand her anything she has to work for it I will start instilling these lessons in her now she really needs to learn to work for her money if it pisses her off even more and she gets angry will so be it she can sit in her room and look at the four walls that you paid for
Assign her daily chores… not done, no phone, no money. Make her chores like a job. Disrespect, no phone. THE END!!!
She is not required to have new clothes, she’s not required to have a cellphone, she’s not entitled to money. What she is required to do is bring home good grades. Stop enabling the behavior and make her work towards earning your trust and respect.
You need to lock that bank account down… she is entitled. Having the same crap from my nephew I am raising . Did you know that xbox 360 games make an awesome Frisbee? He does 
. He seems to be realizing now I’m tired of his crap. Started called me Madea #2
My daughters almost 13 and isn’t in that throw a fit treat mom like shit age yet, but if she’s unpleasant either way , just take away everything
she is taking advantage , i did things for my mother an expected nothing in return even went to store for fags for her was very young when mother left room the way we left it 3 boys so can imagine it , clothes rubbish papers everything everywhere , after 2 nights we did tidy up an put things away an kept it tidy from then on , an keep letting her do that to her mother is bad an you are just as bad letting her do it
She’s taking advantage of you because you have allowed it. We weren’t given phones, money and special activities UNTIL we did what my mom asked first. There was no negotiating because mom paid for it all, therefore she could take it back whenever she wanted. She knows no matter how badly she treats you, you’re still going to give her money and let her keep the phone
yes you should sit her down and have a good heart to heart talk with her
My 16 year old grandson thinks the same…he has a car…I make him make pmt…he is suppose to mow …not always but he knows he has to help or I can’t get things he needs or what he wants I raise him hoping he will be a great man someday…he won’t do dishes or always clean room and im exhausted after 40 hr work week 2 cleaning jobs and a pt job. I love him but he gas to help…prayers and good luck
So your daughter was traumatized being rejected from a parent is traumatizing and you want a gold star for doing what a parent is supposed to do? (Paying rent doing groceries, getting her clothes) with you fixated on the things you pay it’s no wonder she’s “nice” when you give her$ cuz she knows how important it is to you
You both need therapy separately and together
I think you’re going to have to live through WW3 and start planting your foot down. She won’t like it. You won’t like it, but for you - you will know you’re doing it to make her a better adult.
Get in to family counseling. I went through this with my youngest daughter. It helped us so much!
Lay down rules ASAP or tell her to find somewhere else to live! You’re gonna have a stroke messing around with her! Then what?!
Kids today have it to easy as a kid we knew what we had to do it was done no questions ask
These years will pass but are a huge struggle, especially if you’re the only parent at home. Remember her emotions are like 4x larger than her logical brain can handle right now, so she overreacts and is very self-centered by default. Enabling her by gifting money doesn’t help since she’s old enough to learn the value of earning and responsibility. Put yourself in her shoes and forget your mom baggage for a minute and think about how you’d like to see change because you’ll need to make changes to see changes. Baby steps, and remember the bad attitude is because you’re her safe space. She trusts you so much while her emotions are so big she can get all the meanness, stress, jealousy and self- consciousness from her day out. Teach her a better outlet because it’s hurtful to take it out on you.
Stop giving her money. The things you’re giving her money for are not necessities. Take the phone away from her it’s not a necessity either. You’ve said she’s only nice to you when you give her things so it sounds like you’re gonna have to deal with her not being so nice for a while. You need to remind her who the boss is and who the provider is. She may need someone outside of the home that she feels comfortable talking to for some therapy. I’m going through a similar situation with my almost 16-year-old. It’s been a rough year but we’re getting there. Good luck mama
Honestly this sounds like my 12 year old. I think it’s normal but try not to reward the bad behavior. It’s so hard to put your foot down because you love her, I know. Hang in there- it is a hard age for them but she needs to respect you
You need to not give in and get her anything she wants without working it off. I barely survived 12-18 with my oldest. I had her at 19, she’ll be 19 next month. The attitude and drama show when you say no or tell her to do something will have to wanting to hand it over while ripping your hair out but stay strong. therapy for her and you too could help. She’s missing a big part of her life, her choice or not, and you probably feel the need to over compensate for that even if you don’t think it. Might not be a “big deal” to her on the outside but it is deep down. Same for you. It does get better. When my daughter turned 18 I said “the aliens brought my real kid back” because she was so much better overnight. Lol we still have our days but we’re closer than before and she knows I need help sometimes. Yes, might still get the attitude about doing it if I ask but for the most part she does things on her own without asking. She’s leaving for college in August and honestly I’d take those hard teenager days back just to keep her home with me a little longer. I honestly need her more than she’ll ever need me. She’s my rock and my best friend. Good luck mama. Just try to find a way that works for you both. 
Sorry but it sounds like you inadvertently created an entitled monster. Have a serious talk. Say she’s old enough to clean up after herself and is not entitled to money or new anything. Good luck.
- Establish who is the parent, you or her. Take the adult advice from Tammy Davis and lady, decide who is in charge. If you can’t decide it’s you, ship her off to her father, change lock to house or you move out and tell her when she starts respecting you, welcome.
Stop giving her anything extra! I have four children…daughters 11,9,5 and a son that’s 13. His dad has never been around and he acts similar to your daughter. I stopped doing extra for him. Parents these days will try to make you feel like you owe your kids something but I’m here to tell you that’s why these little brats feel so entitled. You do not owe her shit. You can’t make up for her dad so don’t pitty her for that. Yea it sucks but it’s not your fault and when she gets older she’ll realize that. Your her mother and your doing what your supposed to. Put your foot down mama…spoiled entitled kids never turn out well.
You made her this way. You allowed her to believe she is more important than you and that she has the right to be self entitled.
You by law are only required to have a roof over her head, doesn’t have to be a nice one. You by law are required to provide her 3 outfits to wear, again, doesn’t have to be nice. You by law are required to provide her 3 meals a day, doesn’t have to be good. Anything beyond that, she can earn.
Stop raising self entitled snowflakes and be the parent! Kids have enough friends, they need discipline and structure.
Since he now became “a father”. Make sure he pays his share of support and half your daughter’s obligations
It’s easy to blame the teenage stage/hormones. Take all her shit away!! Don’t buy her everything she wants, YOU ARE raising a little entitled Karen! STOP! There’s enough of them in the world, we don’t need anymore. She’s 13 she can get a job, start respecting you! Put your gawd damn foot down. Sheesh!!