It’s especially bad in public. He will it sit still, he will yell, he will hit. He will throw himself on the ground if he doesn’t get his way and throw horrible tantrums. I feel like I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried gentle parenting, I’ve tried being more disciplinary and assertive and I’m not getting anywhere with him… is this normal or possible behavior problems? Has anyone been through this and have any advice?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My three year old won't listen to me at all - Mamas Uncut
It could be either or both.
My oldest (ADHD and HF ASD) was always nearly perfect in public.
Hellion at home.
My youngest has ADHD and SPD. He’s a hellion in stores and much better behaved at home. He’s 4. So not medicated or anything.
Things you could try:
-avoid triggers if possible. Don’t go near toy aisles. Try to go to stores without them at all if possible.
-reward at the end of a shopping trip. If he’s calm he can have a treat (like a bug juice lunchable ect)
-distraction. Give him an important job to do. Play it up. That may help keep his hands and mind busy.
-ignore it. If he throws himself down start {slowly} walking away. And just don’t pay any attention to the crying or yelling. This one’s hard because…other people. But kids figure out what does or doesn’t get them attention…They’re definitely not stupid.
It’s not really consious on their part. More conditioning. So ignoring is a re-conditioning tactic. Make him work for a reaction from you.
-Praise him when he’s doing good. Talk to him the entire time. Keep his focus on you. Ask him silly questions that don’t pertain to the store itself. Talk to him about what you’re doing.
All else fails, give a big distraction. Tablet/phone ECT.
I really really hate doing this but sometimes we need groceries. It cannot be put off. So this is our last ditch effort. It works. I just try to make sure not to over use it.
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I use a time out spot or carpet for my 2 year old. She has to stay there until she stops crying or whining and then she has to sign or say please and she can come out. It’s all about giving her a space to learn how to regulate her emotions and know what her boundaries are. We started off with half hour to hour screaming fits and now shes down to a few minutes. It takes some consistency but was worth it. And if she trys to het out while shes still crying I just put her back in, and don’t say anything to her.
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So his behavior is fine unless he isn’t getting his way? That sounds pretty typical and you have to be consistent with your rules and expectations.Is he enjoying being in public but melts down when things don’t go his way? Try telling him BEFORE you go into public he can’t throw a fit or you will go back to the car and when he does throw a fit take him out and put him in his carseat and wait for him to calm down.If he calms then say we can go back in but another fit and we will come to the car and go home…and mean that!.Its incredibly frustrating to have to ģo back home when you have stuff to accomplish but you have to stay firm.Its embarrassing to leave a cart but in five years the poor store employee won’t remember having to restock your crap but you will definitely be in a rough spot in five years if his behavior doesn’t get reigned in.You know your child best and if you feel there is something more going on than just toddler trying to get his way than definitely bring it up to his pediatrician because not everything is so cut and dry and some kids do have legitimate behavior issues that need diagnosing and possible therapy.
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Straight up ignoring him! No joke. He acts up do not DO NOT respond he wants any attention DO NOT give it just pick him up place him kn his room or cart or car and just say when your done let me know.
I made sure the area I placed my child was safe. And just turned my back while he would kick scream throw things. When he is done he says I’m done i ask are you sure!? Yes… ok then not say another word and get back to doing what I was doing.
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I am honestly going through the same thing with my son Theo he just turned 3 last month he doesn’t wanna listen to me either or out in public it’s the same way at home I don’t know else to do either his behavior can be bad
I spank my kids. 
And all these problems I read that other parents deal with, I’ve never had to deal with. And I very rarely ever spank. I’m that mom that mostly gives “The Look”. 
It really sounds like your child only does it when he doesn’t get his way.
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Stop it!! What do u mean has any one gone through that anyone with a toddler has gone through that at least once lol theres nothing wrong with ur kid stop being nuts and parent the kid he will learn some kids take longer to learn and some are just stubborn keep correcting the behavior but be consistent
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He’s a pandemic baby who has been locked off from the world for the past 18mths. 100% normal behavior. It’s non ADHD, it’s not autism, it’s a toddler being a toddler. Start by making small trips to the store and if he acts up then leave immediately. Just run in to grab one thing and teach him to walk beside you and listen. Work your way up to longer trips out of the house. He will outgrow this.
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If my daughter is having a hard time in a place, say a grocery store for example, I will leave my cart and take her outside to calm down. It’s not fair to her to stay in a situation she can’t handle and it’s not fair to other patrons should they have to listen to her crying.
When we are both calm we can go back inside.
He’s 3 and you actually EXPECT him to sit still!?! He is not going to sit still because he is only 3. As far as throwing tantrums when he isn’t getting his way, just say I said no, take him by the hand and walk away. He sounds like a normal 3 year old that needs boundaries.
Three-nager 
my daughter is like this too sometimes, pushing the limits. She knows right from wrong and we give her options. 1. Be good and get a ‘reward’ or 2. Be bad and we go home
He’s three it’s totally normal. It could very well be that being around people he doesn’t know and all of the noises and chatter is making him go into sensory overload.
Please sounds like my toddler. He is a force. Hoping he grows out of it. It’s usually when he doesn’t get his way. My son started banging his head during tantrums now. He is only 18 months. I have some time before this gets better. Same w you just trying to get thru it and try different things
TAKE HIM TO THE BATHROOM WHEN HE DOES THIS TO YOU!!! 
immediately.
Correct his behavior and come back out.
Do this every time
Before long all you’ll have to do is mention the bathroom and he’ll straighten up
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My daughter was the same way she threw herself down and had a massive fit in the middle of the store when told no. I said louder can’t hear you till she gave up cause she wasn’t getting her way she never did it again.
3 year olds are no limit soldier assholes. It’s normal
My child use to act out with me like that in public and now he won’t. He’s 7 and has ODD and other issues including sensory issues he gets overwhelmed with crowds and lots of noise… He knows at the end of shopping if he’s good he’ll get a reward. Something small like a candy or soda of his choice. It works for us.
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Two to three years old are the hardest ages. My two year old is absolutely terrible sometimes. And nothing seems to work. It’s just a phase and it will pass. You just have to hang in there. Don’t give in and take a break to recollect yourself. Just remember this to shall pass.
Mine is three lol she doesn’t throw herself on the floor but she’ll kick and scream, trust me it’s normal especially because they’re so young and don’t know how to manage their feelings or needs, I mean even adults don’t know how to handle they’re feelings why should a three year old? I mean what’s better a loud baby or a mute sad one? I will always approve of my little fire ball thriving in the world over a sad quiet child.
My mother always told us there is nothing SO important she can’t grab the next day when our father was home.
Throw it out, get a new one.
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If u r out in public, walking away helps. He’ll come running after you, don’t go to far ans make sure you can see him but say mommy is done wirh this behavior and walk away.
At 3 my middle child acted the same way. I suspected ADHD and ODD. Turns out I was right. It’s worth a discussion with your pediatrician. Neurodiverse children need to be handled differently. Once we figured it out the behavior got better.
It could be sensory overload. My 3yo is pretty well behaved but in places like texas roadhouse where there is a lot going on and its really loud. He will have full on meltdowns and be uncontrollable unless we remove him from that environment.
Have you tried leaving the store or whatever & just going outside. Does it get better?
3yo. Just let him have about 2 or 3 hours of good exercise and fun every day. His mind will chill n he’ll listen a little more but don’t expect too much at 3.
Welcome to the world of toddlers xxx
You have to show him you’re the boss not him. Only normal if you let it be normal.
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I’m almost 60 so can tell you this is normal. Parents are too scared of what others think these days. When my own kids done this, followed by my grandkids I just ignored them. They want a reaction. When in a store I would walk away and hide to where I could see them but they couldn’t see me. When they realized they couldn’t see me they would stop fast. I watched my daughter go into tears on a shopping spree due to my grandson’s behaviour. I took her hand and left him to his tantrums and told her to watch. Once he couldn’t see us he stopped. When we went and got him he cried softly and said you left me. I explained Granny doesn’t like when he misbehaved and doesn’t want to listen to it. I told my daughter, it doesn’t matter what others think, if your child misbehaves deal it with immediately, if they need a time out have them sit on the floor and give them a time out. They learn fast.
The only advise I can give is ignore a lot of it, as it’s a rise their wanting! if you don’t give them a rise they will soon get bored other than that stick to your guns at all time no matter how hard it gets sometimes! There will be light at the end of the tunnel xxxx
My son did it one, i took care of it right there. He couldnt sit on his bud for few days and never did it again.
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No advice but I’m going through the same thing. You are not alone lol. I’ve had a lot of people tell me 3 is the hardest