My husband and I are trying to determine how we can go about me having my own little money. We are trying to see how much I should and can get, etc., for my personal usage like nails, hair, brows make up, etc. etc. Now don’t come at me and call me lazy and to get a job because I’ve worked and I’ve worked hard next month, I’ll officially be a year of being a stay at home mom. But I don’t want to ask for money all the time. I want to see how you guys go about money usage and if y’all get a specific amount etc, if you guys can share with me or help me get ideas!
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Nails, hair, brows and makeup aren’t essential so I’d say if he’s willing to give you money for that be thankful and take what he gives you.
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only way to get money without asking for it… is to work for it yourself…
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Eh may not be considered “essential” however u deserve to have some pampering and to be the best you … so just budget it in or get u some income from doing something from home. Being a stay home mom is hard. And can be draining … so it’s not too much to ask forreal
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Sit down with him and setup a budget. If you have money leftover each week after bills and putting money in savings then maybe you can convince him to split some with you.
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I just take my bills add them all together and then take that out of the checks. Of course adding gas for the car, emergency savings, food, ect. Then whatever is left is extra money. I normaly have about 10$-20$ extra a week but that also has to be used to buy kids clothes or soap or whatever. If nothing is needed then it can be used on fun stuff
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Do you not put all money in one pot and whatever is left over split between yourselves? That’s what me and my partner do. X
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Literally been a sahm for 8 years , we make a budget . Bills , essentials for house , food , kid stuff (clothes shoes etc) , and then spending money for eating out and extras . You aren’t a child you dont need an allowance just budget and know how much you both can spend without it eating into budget. I will say when moneys tight everything you listed is an extra
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We just share money, all of it. Always have.
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Could he auto deposit some amount into a separate account every paycheck if there is money left after the bills that would be just yours to manage/spend/save?
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My husband and I have a joint account and it’s both our money. We both work but at times just me or just him has worked. I make sure all the bills are paid and what ever is left is shared money. We both spend what we want when we want. If we plan on spending anything more then our usual every day small purchases we will discuss it. I could never be given an “allowance”.
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When me and my husband first met we were both working and once we had our daughter we were financially able for me to become a stay at home mom. We have a joint account and just know how much we are able to spend extra each month. Since being a stay at home mom I have never had to ask my husband for money. And if its there he has no problem with me pampering myself.
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I get my nails done once in a while like if I need some time to myself and I found a lady who does a good job and doesn’t charge an arm and a leg im a Sahm too money goes into our kids and our home vs myself…kinda what’s most important. Maybe you can choose to get those things done once in a while,…
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Find a side hustle that you can do as a stay at home mom. This will not only mean you can have money but also preserve your self esteem.
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How I go about it is I have my own job and spend my own money. Good luck!
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We both have a debit card so that neither of us have to ask for it, if there is extra money after bills then we spend it however we see fit. I just say hey, we have X amount in the account so I’m doing or buying this.
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I’ve got my own wax kit from ultra and I get my nails done once a month it’s $30 that’s about all I buy for myself clothes is a must not a want so in our house as long as bills are paid money is kinda free game
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My sister has a side hustle and she sells product for Isagenix. I have friends that sell different brands of makeup I can’t remember what it all is but my cousin sells Mary Kay I have a friend who sells Avon one of my friends is connected to pure romance.
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If money is any sort of concern, hair nails and brows should not be a regular every 2 week or every month thing.
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Joint bank account. You should never have to ask your husband for money. Specially if you are a stay at home mom.
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Make tumblers, decals, shirts, etc. I know alot of people who are living off that
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You can always do things from home like ColorStreet and SlimTea!! And there’s tons of money to be made in those companies! You do it all from your phone at home 
I totally get ! Just because your a SAHM doesn’t mean you should be punished and not get the things you did before (nails, hair,etc) Your “job” now is to be mommy. Depending on budget; I would say $100 a week is nice.
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We share a bank account, Honestly this allowance thing really baffles me. It’s both our money we are a team, our bills are paid, kids are talking care of and we buy what we want.
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If you don’t have the money for it you don’t need it. Bills and essentials come first. And a savings account in case god forbid something happens. And if anything left over, learn to save it up and spend how you like.
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Depending on what ur husband does u could always serve somewhere…if he works days work a few nights or vice versa…or do Doordash or instacart you can do that whenever u want… or since you are at home see if someone needs a babysitter that’s what I did for my own extra money if its not in the budget right now and u still want to do those things
One pot for all, no amount matters on who put what where-when.
We have 4 accounts 1-joint
2 joint savings
3 my savings
4 his savings
I babysit but my husband calls it our money. I work too but the 50 bucks i earn is used gor anything special like my puppy bone or my cats treats. But the bills and kids stuff and food cat food it all comes out of his check. He doesn’t want my job (sahm/babysitter for the neighbors) and I don’t want his. But all stuff you named isn’t a necessity so I don’t see it as anything other than if you have the spare money great. If not ask around see if you can babysit or make something. Little odd jobs and earn it.
All the money goes into one account and the bills get paid first, then it’s food and household stuff, then it’s "see what we need"if there is enough left extra I can get my feet done or something else spacial but it’s never a my money and his money it’s our money. If anything he gets the allowance and he uses it for emergencies or taking me out to eat so I still get part of that but it’s never an allotted thing that he gives me. I handle the important stuff so I’ll know if there is any room for extras.
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Oh wow idk how you lady’s do this… I work a part time job so I can be home in the morning to take the kids to school and be off in enough time to get them home from school. So I dont get much on my checks. But my boyfriend has the longer shifts and makes more. But I never once have to ask for anything. All I have to do is say I need the card that day or half the time he has to make me go out and get some time to myself or ourselves. He never makes me ask for anything because it’s a partnership we are both in this together. It’s not just my money or his money it’s our money!
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Here’s the thing. You both agreed to have kids I assume. Unless you are able to make a small fortune working and be able to pay child care and still bring home money, I would say that your husband knew you would no longer be able to work during the tender years. You both know what is left over and what you can afford. If nothing is left obviously you can’t spend anything. If things aren’t tight I would think your husband would be more then happy to let you pamper yourself. It is indeed much needed on your part and you’ve earned it. Raising a family and maintaining a budget is part of what you do as a stay at home mom. Just use you’re brain.
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I’m a sahm, and I make a little extra money picking up extra kids at school. And occasionally babysitting. Good luck!
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It really depends. Bills household essentials, groceries, fuel for vehicles…all has to come first then take whatever is left and split it down the middle.
That’s what we usually do.
If moneys tight you may have to settle for buying nail polish and doing your own. You cant take away from essentials or claim all extra for yourself.
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Nails, brows, makeup?? Seriously?
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Credit card!!! It’s helped so much. We have one for Meijer. I’m not a stay at home mom but we just got our careers on track so when we get into tough times it’s helped pull us out tremendously.
Buy this book. It will change your life…only $8 on Amazon
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Take the Dave Ramsey course. Highly recommended
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Im a stay at home mum with 2 kids , it took me a long time to feel like i deserved access to money
We are married and we have a joint account
I sort it all out now and as long as all the bills are payed and the kids are sorted , there is savings going in , and we have everything we need then we discuss what we do with left over money, … if i said ooo could I get my hair done he would say yes but also he might want something new .
I dont get my hair or nails done because well we have 2 kids and thats expensive enough as it is lol xxx
I put my son in daycare part time and I do instacart. I work from Monday-Wednesday 8 am-2:30 pm and make over 100 a day
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Sell something crafty you can make or grow a garden and sell veggies, I flip furniture for extra money paint and add transfers, I learned how to decoupage and I can make coasters and other things the possibilities are endless and I love creating
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For budget i do my own nails and hair that saves me a lot every month
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I give you so much credit for being a stay at home mom!! Anyone who says you don’t deserve some special you time money is being a 
.
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Maybe a side hustle??? I don’t like asking my husband for money, even though we both have a joint account with our debit cards. I started making hair bows and whatever I make out of that , is for ME! Although, being a mother and having a mother-mind, I spend it all on my daughter and husband , & whatever is left, I use it on myself! 
All out money goes into one account we pay bills and whatever is left after grocery shopping and what not is ours my husband says if I want to use it go ahead he barely touches it because I am the stay at home mom who rarely gets a break because he works so much.
As a stay at home mom (and when I worked) I always had my own blow money. It was mine to use however I wanted, guilt free. So I could go get a cup of coffee or treat myself to lunch or get a haircut or whatever. In our case, we chose 5% of the income.
I guess that would largely depend on finances. My friend gets a set amount based on her husbands extra income after some is put into savings. She gets to choose how it is spent but also has to budget and save depending on what she wants and cost
We have a joint checking and savings, that we both have debit cards for then I have my own checking and savings. I got a decent amount from when I sold my house recently. That money has been saved. As far as hair and nails, is there a cosmetology school in your area? I have a friend that’s in school and I get my hair done at the school. It’s a fraction of the cost instead of going to a salon. There’s also a nail tech there. I’ve never went to her because I’m so hard on my nails. It’s pointless for me to try and keep a manicure looking nice.
How do you feel about it works & plexus lol??
I buy and sell used items and thrift store items. Sometimes I keep them for a bit and then sell and sometimes I get something for cheap that I know I can make some money off of. Try cleaning out the garage or going thru unused toys. Even ur closet can earn u some store credit for a new outfit or handbag. Good luck!
I don’t have a lot of bills, nor do I completely pay for everything my kids need, but my plan to start saving up is to open another bank account and each check put money into it, and on my phone bill I pay out of each check to keep a higher remaining balance in my account so if I need to switch jobs, if I lose my job, or have another bill I need to pay for and don’t have the money for my phone the money will already be in there. It’ll take a little bit of time depending on how much you plan to put into each, but after a few months it would help a lot. There’s also apps that take all of your bills and groceries and pay and will tell you which you need to pay when and how much you’ve got left over to spend.
There are a lot of budget websites with great tips. One thing I do is when making purchases on our bank card I round up in our check book. Since we use our debit card for most of our purchases we end up with a few hundred dollars every yr.
Don’t get a credit card- that $10 wax job will become $20+.
You guys are team work as a team, if you need something you should be able to get it. I would LOVE to get my hair done every 6-8 weeks, we could afford that but I dont bc we have 4 kids and someone always needs something. I could give up my own ‘allowance’ of Starbucks (I put money on a gift card once a month and when it runs out thats it for that month) but that instant satisfaction in the morning is worth more than colored hair and wax brows.
Make a budget - mortgage/rent, utilties, food, gas, car stuff, phone, etc. All bills need to be included and see what is left after that. If at the end of every month/pay period theres $50 left maybe you and hubs split that and that’s ‘your’ money and not ‘family’ money.
Maybe get a part time job opposite shift as what he works. But remember all money earned is family money not individual money.
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Work at a childcare center
Instead of calling it an “allowance” just bill your husband the going rate for childcare during his work hours lmao
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Easy. Get a joint account and do a budget. Calculate what’s left over after bills. How much you want to save every month. Whatever is left after that is ‘play money’. Then if there is something that one of you need/want, it would be discussed. In my opinion it’s unhealthy to have money that is his or yours. Everything should be together. Especially as your married. There shouldn’t be any this is mine and you can’t have it or I work here’s an allowance. It should always be joint decisions.
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I’m a SAHM to 7 kids (9,8,7,6,5,4&1 month) not all mine biologically but ya know their mine & I have all access after everything is paid! I get my nails done bi weekly & that’s my “me time” but I always take my 2 girls with me (9&5) and daddy stays home with the boys
You should do a Dave Ramsey worksheet and it can help you guys figure out a budget.
Joint bank account 
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I don’t get an “amount”. If I need something or my hair cut, clothes ect… I put on the groceries list, just like my husband would. Now I will say I don’t get my nails done, and things like that. What we do is if we can afford it that week is we’ll set aside x amount for each to do with as we choose, like coffee or he might grab lunch at a fast food joint so he doesn’t have to pack a lunch ( cause his wife won’t do it for him). Its not my husband’s money, it’s OUR money, that we make decisions on TOGETHER.
The only other suggestion is that what you could be doing is set some aside and then build up to it, if you can’t afford to do it on a regular basis.
I will say I’m not a fan of the word “allowance” when used in this regard. It implys that your a child that can’t manage money, or that you not an equal parent in this relationship. It’s very demoralizing.
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You get whatever you get after every bill is paid, grocery’s are bought, tank full of gas, etc etc
Been married for 55 years. I was a stay at home mom till kids were out of elementary. Marriage is a partnership. What’s his is yours and vice-versa. One bank account, don’t abuse it, but that money is yours too.
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Ever since I became a mom I have only gotten my nails done once, and my hair I do on my own. I’d rather spend money on my baby girl thank myself. (Just my opinion though)
I let my husband know what I’m getting, he says okay. It’s understood if I’m getting something for myself, then the bills and baby is fine. I don’t understand why you have to ask or have an allowance?
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It depends on your bills to income ratio. I to am a stay at home mom. I dont do my nails and hair in the same month. I also get my lashes permed instead of extension. It last longer anyways. But when I need to go shopping for personal items (girly stuff) but my man trys to keep my account where if I need something or want to buy something online I can.
Try driving for door dash
We have a joint account,a savings account,my account and my savings account.We pay our bills first ,do the food shop then a lot so much to our accounts and this is on a written budget.My husband works full time and I sell my crafts.We have used a written budget for years and we keep a record as we’re our money goes.
I have a part time job and he works full time. It gives me satisfaction to be able to pay for my own stuff. However when I was a stay at home mom he would just tell me to get what I wanted with what’s left from bills and responsibility. We have always had a bank account together too so it’s our money not our own
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Girl I sell stuff on poshmark and make great money ! Check it out
Here’s my invite code
Joint bank acct and your own debit card
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This is weird to me… but me and my husband have always done that it’s ours not yours or mine…bills get paid first, groceries, essential stuff like tp laundry soap diapers etc…put some in savings and what’s left is spending money. Of course we discuss it and run it by each other like oh I’d like to go get my nails done or oh I’d like to buy a chainsaw he’ll sometimes say but we don’t have allowances.
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We have a household budget. Its all on Microsoft money.
All the bills are covered we have a grocery budget I get out each payday. It automatically adds a little bit of money to our savings and both our daughters savings.
Anything left over in the checking is spending money.
If its more then $40- $50 we will check the budget and tell the other.
And yes sahms can still have nails, brows or Whatever they like.
Mine happens to be craft stuff. I’ve been a sahm for 13 years now. The money coming in is our money.
He makes sure to remind me that because it was a struggle in the beginning. It took alot of trust and courage to become a sahm.
We both have debit cards and handel money responsibly.
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I’m not a stay at home mom…
but, I used to go get my nails done biweekly or monthly at the salon. since covid, I purchased an at home gel polish kit and a bunch of colours. that’s always an option.
My husband will gladly let me take money out of our budget for a wax job! 
I do my nails myself, pedicures only the warm months of the year and salon hair visits are kept to a minimum as possible. I wash and go with my hair so little maintenance and styling done.
we don’t divide our money, he makes it, but it’s ours. We talk about all our purchases and share the same account.
No offense but I get my hair, nails, and lashes done monthly and it’s expensive. But I work full time and pay for it on my own! I’d feel so guilty asking for someone to pay for these for me 
their not essential but I totally understand you want to feel pampered & feel like a human because being a SAHM is a full time job on its own. I’d sit down and talk with your husband on a budget and see what you can afford. Maybe you can’t have everything but even just getting one thing each month would be nice !
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Awe… I don’t have an amount but I usually ask see if we have enough in the budget and how over it with my husband to see if I was forgetting something to get things I would like.
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Just use a credit card, and keep 100 for knock around cash
I just say “hey baby, do you think we could swing spending this much?” I don’t get an allowance.
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This sounds like an allowance and that’s exactly why I could never be a stay at home mom. More power to you all that can do it, but I just couldnt do it.
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Your not a kid you dont need to ask for an allowance however you do need to make sure all Bill’s are payed and food is in the house before you decide to do anything unnecessary
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Sounds like a lot of stuff that you can also do at home (eyebrows, nails). I’d save professional jobs for special dates but that’s just me.
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My hubby just hands me money whenever he has it.
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We go by the 50 30 20 rule. 50% for bills. 30% food, gas etc. 20 for savings. After that is play around money. Its hard to get there but it helps a ton!
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Make and sale wax melts
My husband has an allowance and so do i. It keeps you from being broke 
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We have a joint account. Both have a card. We make sure everything that’s needs to be paid is set, then see the extra and decide on what should go where.
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We have a joint bank account and I usually make all the decisions,pay Bill’s etc. he makes the money (besides what I sell on Mercari) so I’d say it’s your money just as much as it is his
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I think she needs to replace the word essential with self care. And there is nothing wrong with a little self care. I mean it’s pretty simple. Either consider all the money coming in as both of yours and what ever is left over after all the “essentials” are paid is extra spending money that you and your husband split. Or get a little part time/side hustle job and maybe help with a bill or groceries and the rest can be your spending/self care money. There is NOTHING wrong with taking care of your needs/wants a little. As long as your kids are cared for then parents deserve to have little extras/self care in their life. My mental health depends on it and to me that is being an amazing mom 
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His money is mine… I couldn’t imagine it being any other way lol.
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Me and my husband had a joint account and we both knew what the total cost of our bills where and we knew how much money we had left over and we both spend money’s within reason. I usually spent more money because I would do the grocery shopping and pick up a few extra things out and about. If it was a bigger purchase like 75 bucks for our budget I would run it past him
I personally don’t do hair nails or brows professionally just myself at home. That saves money right there. I also write out my purchases in a personal calendar so i see where it’s going. I’m a single mom who gets paid monthly
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I’m a Sahm for the past 3 yrs! We pay all the bills, anything the kids need, the grocery bill, and whatever is left after his cheque we split equally right down the middle. But we also have a joint account. Child tax and pay cheques go into the same account.
I got a fuckin job… I’ve never had any of those things though & ive been a mom for four years.
How do I sign up for this right of passage?
We have a joint account and both have cards, he works, I stay home with our kids. He makes the money and I pay bills and budget things and we both spend freely once bills are paid. Neither of us make big purchases without telling the other but its both of your money and I dont like the idea of allowance unless you both get the same. Now I only go and do those things very rarely but when I do I say hey baby I think I’m going to go get my lashes done and he usually just is like OK.
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Sit down and budget ur monthly expenses including ur nails hair ect break it down by the week and see if it’s affordable
I’d say make a budget of all the things you do and add it all up and then add some for things you didn’t think of. Then give him that amount.
My husband and I both have a personal spending line item in our budget and anything just for us (hair cuts/colors, clothes, my makeup, his beer, my wine, his golfing) comes out of our line item. We both get the same amount that we agreed on a couple years ago and there hasn’t been any issue.
Make a excel spreadsheet list all your current expenses, and the income makes ure all bills are paid for first, and you have a savings nest egg, (for rainy days or surprise expenses at least over 1k set aside) then see where both yours and his wants fall in the extras from there if need be get a credit card for you and use that for extras but be sure to pay it off
I would make a list of all the important stuff you pay and how much. Whatevers left go buy a couple things each week. Nail stuff one week and hair sruff the next. I do all my own beauty stuff at home but its been 7 years of SAHM I only do nails and hair. Lol
Honestly I don’t I get a pack of cigarettes like ever few months so like 10$ every 3 months
My husband gives me 150 bucks every week. BUT thats for gas an help with paying bills. He still puts that money in there even tho I have a part time job. So he always says go get your nails done or something like that. I never do but I do use it for makeup sometimes… (i use afterpay so I get more for my buck lol)