Sounds like something happened to her at school. Have her talk to someone
As a child I didnât like using the bathrooms in schools because 99% of the time they were GROOSSSS. I hate hate hate dirty bathrooms and even as an adult have night mares!
My kid was potty trained @2 and did fine until she hit 4âŚ.then she straight up refused to pee anywhere that wasnât home. Nothing happened to her, she wasnât hurt, she just refused. Weâd be gone 7-8 hours and sheâd hold it. She went to school and refused to go, had one accident and now goes, but only on the little pottyâs. Out in town, sheâll only go at Kohlâs on their tiny pottyâs, same at my moms. I donât get it, but she just says she doesnât like the big pottyâs
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Potty training regression in a four year old? - Mamas Uncut
Go into the bathroom at school with her and ask what does she not like about it. Hopefully itâs something simple you can explain or change.
Having been preschool teacher, I had many students like this. I know this will sound strange, but some of the little ones are afraid of the different toilet. It could be a higher toilet than they are used to and it may be hard to get up on it⌠Also maybe she is afraid of the stall, it may make her feel afraid dealing with the lock and with the door shut. Just talk to her and above all validate her feelings. Maybe you could go with her and practise going. something is for sure upsetting this little one. .
Do the toilets automatically flush? My daughter was SCARED to death of self flushing toilets after being fully potty trained âŚher grandma took her to Walmart and her first ever encounter with auto flush toilets back tracked her for months!!
With teacher and school ok spend a day volunteering in her class. Then you state need to go. Take her with you so both can take care of business. Hopefully once will be enough!
It could be a number of things, including anxiety about using a different toilet , how clean it is, etc. But I would also have a discussion with her about body parts and appropriate touching, and that if anyone has touched her, or asked her to touch them, that she is not in any trouble, but that is not okay, and you as an adult can help. I think far too often parents donât ask about things directly and this is a situation that warrants it. The reason you need do remind her it is not her fault, is because frequently perpetrators of child sexual abuse (whether an adult or another child) threaten the victim child into silence - and at that age children believe the threats. Also note, kids are really good a reading facial expressions, and If you display anxiety while asking about it, they may deny anything due to seeing your reaction to it.
I remember being terrified of the bathroom in kindergarten. For some reason I was just sure that the door would lock and Iâd NEVER get out.
My son went through this. He would wet himself at school too. I was told itâs a phase and an adjustment for then. Took him probably 6 months before it stopped. Now he is fine. Sometimes itâs just hard for them. Always keep extra clothes just in case at school.
My son still never use bathroom at school he is 8 now since day one he thinks itâs dirty as everyone use that. I have counseled and all but no use so I guess ask your kid if she thinks itâs dirty or big for her to use.
Sometimes if the toilet is an auto flush it is loud and scarey- often flushing before child is able to get off of the toilet
Is it an auto flush? Sometimes that is scary
My daughter didnât use school bathroom until middle school. Her son(16) wonât sit down on toilet at school(gets picked up or walks home if he really has to go). I use before I leave and when I get home. I try to outside but canât. She might grow out of it. Until then extra clothes is a must.
I worked in pre- k maybe she fell in and ot flushed ?A lot of of the time it was because they were playing and waited to long . Some teacherâs have there bathroom schudle and they canât go in between . Some just donât want to go at school I had one child who would hold poop all day until they got home you just never know children have many fears .Just have patients .
My girl had a problem with loud flushes and echos in the bathroom. We had to let her not flush and the teacher/day care worker had to flush after she left. She is 11 now and sometimes gets anxious if the blpublic bathrooms are big, busy and/or noisy.
My grandson had trouble when he started kindergarten. His mother didnât make a big deal out of it and the problem went away
Serious question for you mamaâŚwhen she has an accident at school do you take her a change of clothes? The reason I ask I that your precious child may be suffering with separation anxiety. Back in my day, there was no pre-k or kindergarten. As long as your 6th birthday occurred by Dec 31, a child would begin 1st grade at age 5. I fell into that category. So I was with my mama until I was 5-3/4. I suffered with being away from my mommy, so I would intentionally have accidents because I knew she would come to my rescue! That was my solution to be able to see my mama in the middle of the school day. However, my mama fixed it to where she sent a change of clothes to school with me every day. That was the end of my accidents. Itâs tough on these precious children to endure being separated at such a young age. Best of luck to youâŁď¸
Do u help her or leave the door open when she is home? If so she may just be scared. Iâve always hated closed doors, not sure why but I doâŚI remember being little n insisting on the door being open cuz of fear
Having worked at a pre-k i can tell you that some of the kids at that age are just nastyâŚits very possible she has gone in behind one of thoseâŚ? I had a couple of kiddos revert bc of that. Straight up told me that the bathroom is gross. they werent wrongâŚcould also be the auto flush if there is oneâŚ
Same with my granddaughter. She just started Kindergarten and has had a few pee accidents where before she was doing fine. She is dry at night but I thinks she gets distracted easily during the day and puts off going.
Our grand daughter experienced this, the rules were no one could go into the bathroom but the child and she was afraid. Once the teacher understood the fear, she was able to help.
Maybe the loudness of the automatic flush scares her.
Maybe it flushed when she was still on the toilet?
Maybe the toilet is too big for a small bottom and its scary if you think you may fall in.
she if sheâll draw a picture of the potty area at school. it may give you a clue about the issue
I remember in Grade 1, I was too afraid to ask my teacher if I could go to the bathroom. She had said that she didnât want any more hands up, that she was going on with the lesson. Then oh-ohhhhh! Too late!
It could be a c n ange in using the bathroom to in a different surroundings,. This is normal and will pass as soon as she is comfortable,Just be patient and encouraging
My daughter is 21 now but she said she hated using the school bathrooms and she would wait until she got home too. She didnât really have a reason either.
If she doesnât do it at home I would think something is going on at school. As a child I hated to use the school restroom but it was because the teacher would come in and yell at me if she felt I was taking to long. It made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. So I made every effort possible not to go until I got home.
If wasnât having accidents but now is, itâs possible she hadnât been going all along and by holding it now has a uti and canât hold it, hence the accidents. I would check on that just in case.
My daughter is exactly the same but with number 2.She was all good up until last year when she started prep,she was out of nappies day night from 3.But a couple of months into the school year in prep she stop pooing on the toilet,she doesnât have accidents at school anymore but she still continues to have accidents at home.The only way that I can get a full poo out is to put a nappy on.But she has started doing very small poo on the toilet recently but not enough she still wears a nappy at night now so she can get the full poo out.This has been going on for nearly 2 years now.
She probably doesnt like the toilet seatâŚif itâs like most public toilets and doesnt meet in the frontâŚshes probably sitting on partial porcelan.
She is normal , children go back and forth all the time , leave her alone, try taking her to the toilet with you and let her see how you do it ,she may follow
Would not keep asking her. It seems something happened in that bathroom that really scared her. Maybe a spider or a smell she didnât like? If it is someone at the school youâll not get a straight answer. Ask her about who she likes at school as a starter. Donât be too aggressive or she wonât talk. Thereâs always a reason. It may be a simple one or something worse. Tell her that bugs scare you. Maybe sheâll open up. Good luck and be blessed.
Could be the anxiety of peeing in a public place. I used to be that way
Iâm so impressed with many of these answers! You moms ⌠So smart and helpful! Thanks.
I was made fun of by other students when using the restroom at school. After that I just held it until I got home.
I would talk to her pediatrician about this issue.
Have you tried taking a potty chair that belongs to her
A lot of children at this age are learning they have some control with what they do. This is one way of asserting some control. Pre-K teacher of 7 yearsâŚit will get betterâŚI promise!
An adjustment for herâŚshe might be afraid to ask to go?
Is it possible to take her with you into the school bathroom while YOU pee? Maybe if she saw you being comfortable with it, she might too?
Is it an open front toilet seat. Sometimes they donât like that.
Have the teacher take her periodically a couple of times per day. It could be urgency or that she is afraid of being alone in the stall.
My grandchildren refused to use bathroom only at home cause they always said you donât know whose been on them before .
Something going on, naturally teacher not going to say, maybe she unaware
Are the toilets auto flush? I have Littles that refuse to go with an auto flush toilet. Itâs scary!
Maybe the size/shape of the toilet
My youngest doesnât like public restrooms because of the difference
Sounds like something in there is scaring her. Could she be afraid of getting locked in?
Watch her closely but donât make a big thing of it and she will correct it Iâm sure
Talk with her keep it lightâŚcould be simple Ăśike the light
Yes send extra clothes but let them use pull ups until they readjust to their new surroundings.
My daughter is 20 and still refuses go to the bathroom in any public place.
Sounds like it is caused by stress.
Does the stall have a door? If so it may be the closed in feeling. Are you able to visit the school and take her to the restroom once?
Be strong dear itâs not that easy you will surely get there as time goes on
If it flushes automatically, that can sometimes scare children!
Give her some wipes to take to school so she can clean the seat if need be.
Maybe sheâs afraid to go in there alone?
I think itâs because the toilets are not private
Somethings going on. Id check out the daycare more thoroughly. Maybe someone was mean to her there??
I feel like something happened and thatâs why she doesnât want to go there. Or maybe sheâs just particular about bathrooms. Some adults are like that.
A bladder infection???
Keep asking questions. Something happened.
Did she go in and find the pot full or seat dirty?
A one stall bathroom?
My granddaughter suddenly refused to go to school after attending happily for months. Upon questioning, she could give no reason(she was five). Years later we happened to be driving by that same school and she said âthatâs the school where the little boy was mean to me.â Go figure. At that age sometimes they donât have the capacity to explain. Some little boy on her class could have said to your daughter âImgonna go in there and look at your peepeeâ. I guess the only thing you can do ( besides taking her out of school) is put her in pull ups until she can cope better.
Does she use the bathroom alone at home? If not she could be overwhelmed and stressed.
My son is 4 same thing happened to us it took months to fix the situation but now heâs back on track
Mine wonât pee in school. He is delayed with an IEP and wears a pull ups and soaks thru his pull up as soon as he gets on the bus. Iâve started putting training underwear on him over the pull up so the outside of his clothes are less wet⌠But Iâm at a complete loss.
Thatâs is a big transition. I have ASD. When I started kindergarten I became selectively mute for 6 months. It actually led to my diagnosis.
If she starts to regress in other areas you need to take her to a pediatric psychiatrist. But if this is the only regression, it will likely get better once she adjusts to her environment.
Maybe take her in before she starts her day for a pre class start bathroom break and hopefully it works.
Maybe she has trouble with pulling up pants? We used to make sure his pants were easy to pull up and down.
My grandaughter was put in preschool at 4 and was not ready emotionally or in any other way. Some children are not emotionally ready at 4 to attend school and they regress. The toliet could be taller or automatic flush and scary to the child. There is another possibilty. Child molestation. There are predators everywhere especially if they have the care of your children for hours at a time. Parents are placing theit little ones in the hands of virtual strangers in daycare or preschool. There should be background checks on all caregivers of children today. You cant be to careful in todays crazy world.
My youngest did but we figured out it was because he was getting new clothes from the school after his first accident. Maybe she is getting something when it happens that she wants. We cured it by making sure my son always had extra clothes.
Probably some untaught child left it nasty
My son did when he moved from the 2 year old room to the 3 year old room at daycare. We started a sticker chart with a small reward (lollipop) for a week of no accidents. He never had another accident even before the first week was done.
When my son first started going to daycare he started to have accidents when he never did before and when i asked why he was having them he said that the other kids did it so he thought he could too but i explained to him that he was a big boy now and that he wears big boy underwear and that he was supposed to use the bathroom and that those boys just hadnât learned yet and we never had anymore issues. I guess he was just proud to be considered a big boy.
Take your child to the pediatrician for a checkup. Only trying to inform you, donât want to scare you, but children will do this sometimes when they are being sexually abused.
This is all a big adjustment for her. She is around ones she isnât familiar with. If she is used to going potty at home and around people she is comfortable with itâs probably just a transition. Just being away from mommy is a big transition.
One of my kids was scared the first time they used an auto flush toilet. They did there business and got up the toilet flushed. My kid came out screaming that there was a ghost in the bathroom that flushed the toilet. I had to explain and show them that it was supost to do that. Then showed them that the towel machine was automatic also. After that they thought it was cool.
Her ability to go when she needs to go has been road blocked. Some kids are sensitive about privacy like my own 7 year old grandson.
As I remember kids went potty at the same timeâŚshe needs to be able to go when she needs to. Try giving her only about 1/2 to 1 cup of fluid before school with breakfast. It needs to be milk or equivalent. She should raise hand when she needs to goâŚper agreement with teacher.
My 3 year old daughter is absolutely terrified of the sound of the automatic hand dryers. Do they have one of them in their bathroom? It could be something as minor as that which might put her off using the bathroom at certain places. I hope you discover a solution soon x
My son did that and when I went to school with him we walked through the classroom together and then talked about going to the bathroom. He told me the red eye in the bathroom scared him. Red Eye? Had him take me in and show me the red eye. My son thought the red light on the toilet was an eyeball watching him.𤌠the toilet was an auto flush with the little red light.
Could be a number of reasons. She may be hearing a lot of germ and covid talk and figure no way. She could be a very private person and just not be able to use a public washroom. She could be unwilling to miss anything going on in class.
Donât make a big issue about it. Just say never mind maybe tomorrow you will go to the toilet. Patience xx
My lil nephew is doing the same thing he 5 in kindergarten. Been potty trained since 3. He was going at first then all of a sudden he refuses to go at school. Donât have a reason why. Then he donât tell the teacher he stays wet til someone else notice it
It maybe that she is having to much fun playing with her new friends and doesnât want to stop to go so she just does it on herself. At least thatâs what my daughter did.
Is the bathroom clean???
My son had this problem, turned out he was scared of the hand dryer noise
I was terribly afraid of the toilets at school when I was a kid. I think because they were so loud when they flushed. So maybe sheâs just scared of the toilet and feels silly telling you soâŚ
Our son (4) recently has had regressions at school, he doesnât like public restrooms and doesnât like to stop playing with his friends so would rather wet himself. Nothing happened, heâs just spirited
What worked for us was reward systems. We bought a toy he REALLY wanted and made a sticker chart, he had to go all week without an accident at school. But, we had to do this a few weeks in a row (so multiple prizes) to get it to become a real habit. A little $ invested but it proved it wasnât ability or anything REALLY wrong, he just wasnât motivated to do what we wanted him to.
This was actually my post. I appreciate each and every comment and each bit of support and advice. Itâs nice to have somewhere to post these things and not be shamed for it.
Ava, my 4 year old, potty trained late. But by the time she started school she was fully potty trained and it was not an issue. She did great in school for the first few months, then all of a sudden started regressing. I have spoken with her teacher, who I LOVE, and I donât doubt her abilities or opinions at all, and she is also at a loss. I specifically asked if there had been any kind if incident, big or small, like someone turning the lights off, or the door accidentally locking or someone bullying or teasing her. The teacher says the bathroom is a single stalled bathroom, so only one kid at a time. The lights are not timed or motion sensor, they are turned on first thing in the morning and not turned off until the end of the day after all the students are gone.
I have also spoken with the school nurse. She had to help ky daughter change once and said the urine in her undies was discolored and smelled strongly. So I have an appointment to have her checked for a UTI and just to speak with her pediatrician about possible issues.
If she does not have a UTI, then her teacher and I are both prepared to try different things until we find a solution that makes my daughter comfortable and puts my worries at ease.
Being a mom is a hard job, and I thank each and every one of you for all the advice, support and commentary. I will take it all into comoderation.
My daughter was afraid of the auto flush. Was afraid to use them so she wouldnât go.
Is it private for her, some preschool toilets seem to have open stalls so they are visible being in an open bathroom.
Mine refused to use the one at school.No matter how many times we talked to her.She got an infection from holding it.She just didnât like the smell in there.Nothing else just the smell.
You have messed with her normal! She will eventually see that it is normal to go pee at school.
Maybe she could go with one of her friends
Possibly :Someone is either bullying her in the bathroom or sheâs seen it happen to someone else.
Does she have an infection which might hurt when she pees