Pros and cons of your child being with you at birth?

I know this is probably a crazy question, but has anyone taken their young child to the hospital with them while you were giving birth? If so what are the pros and cons. TIA!

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I haven’t would say no not sure how they would handle it x

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Never taken mine ( mum of 5) only because I have big babies 9lb to 10lb so never knew if there would be complications and not sure how my kid’s would cope with it

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My 2 year old will be staying home with my mom when I deliver. I feel like he’d be too scared seeing me hooked up to all the machines and all the doctors and blood.

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Why, why would that even cross ur mind

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It was wonderful. He was actually quite the whole time. The nurses adored him. Didn’t need a whole separate baby sitter. But he was only 13months old.

We decided to have my sister watch our daughter (who was only 10 months at the time… irish twins) when we went in to have our son. That way we had time to focus on just us and our son when he was born. That way if anything had gone wrong with the birth, she wasn’t getting all caught up in the mix and also gave us time to love on him without feeling like we were not giving her enough attention at the time either.

I didnt. But I did ask about it. My doctor said as long as someone else is there to watch them it was more then fine.

Yes I almost had my youngest son on the hospital bed by me but my family ended up taking him out of the room lol

Anyone can’t see her whole question? It stops at “see more” & won’t let me click on it.

Depending on where you live some hospitals don’t allow young children. I know where I’m at noone under 13 can be in the room during delivery

They don’t need to be there while you are going through that, they can be with someone in the waiting room till it’s all over and they can see you and the new baby but I don’t know if any hospital that would allow a child in the room while that is going on and it could traumatize the child seeing you go through all that you have to do and if there are any complications that could only make it worse.

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Do you have a Family Birthing Suite where you are?

The hospitals around me will not allow children in to labor and delivery. They can come after the baby is born but not during and honestly I dont think I’d want my kids there when I have my next baby

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That is a time for you to bond with new baby a rest instead of worrying about how your child will react. Let the child sit in waiting room with another family member if you want child there.

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If/When I have another child, my daughter will be present if she pleases.

I had my 20 month old daughter in the room when I was giving birth to her baby sister. Only bc i didn’t know anyone to baby sit other than my mom and husband and they both wanted to be in the room. My mom was on standby incase she needed to be taken out but things went well. She didn’t get upset or scared. She was curious and watching the whole time. Then when her sister was born she was begging to hold her. When I gave birth to my son, my girls were 3 and almost 5. I didn’t have them in the room. They were with my mom. I wasn’t sure how they would be at those ages so I just asked my mom to keep them.

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Your hospital might have rules about it. My daughter just turned 3 2 days before I had her sister. They wouldn’t let her be there bc kids at that age dont understand why their mom is in such pain and they didnt want the sibling to feel any negative way against the baby (that’s how my ob said it to me) waiting room no problem but in room not allowed

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13 yr old daughter was not scared but she has a whole different opinion of child birth and plans on waiting til she’s like “old” to have kids. My 2 year old boy was just curious and was probably the most well behaved child he’s ever been during “hard labor” and delivery. Every kid will be different, depends on age I think. Also depends on hospital, mine was a family birth place with private suites.

I didn’t they saw baby after birth or when came home.

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Literally if you haven’t had your kids in labor and delivery with you, you shouldn’t be responding. None of you have the answers to her question as you haven’t done it. Unless you’re pointing out that not all hospitals will allow it. You’re not giving her any advice because you haven’t been there.

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I wanted my oldest in the delivery room with me. He was 11&12. My now ex wouldn’t allow it either time. But when I had my 3rd he wouldn’t let me leave my then 1 yo with anybody. So against my better judgement she came with me. It ended in a csection so she didn’t see the birth. That also meant I was alone since he had to stay with her. I don’t regret that. I didn’t even want him in the delivery room. But her presence while I was laboring was stressful. Here I’m having contractions on top of each other & he’s getting mad the baby won’t sit in 1 place. She was under my bed, pushing buttons, running to the bathroom etc. He did nothing but complain. At 1 point he even made comment about me being a bad mommy because I wasn’t chasing her. I had to parent while in labor. I think her being there may have contributed to needing an emergency C-section. Of course of you have a supportive partner your expirence won’t be like mine. It could still be stressful though.

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I wasn’t allowed to have a child in the birthing room there was an age requirement

My daughter will be two next month, 2.5 when my newest is born. Shes SUPER clingy, has major seperation anxiety. So ive thought about it. But im worried about her wanting to be all over me while im in labor, and thats a no go. So I may have her in there for a bit, but if she starts to get super clingy ill have my mom take her home.

A lot happens during the birth that may scare them. My family brought my daughter once I gave birth and was back in my room

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Yeah I agree with some others and hospital rules. Children are unpredictable and anything can happen during l&d. You may not think they will but it would be worse and more stressful for you nurses and doctors and even partner if they have to worry about running into your child or the child messing with things or throwing a fit. It would let your partner focus more on you too.

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My 3 year old (now 14) was at the hospital when I had her little brother. She was with my mom, outside the room, for the actual delivery but came in and loved on her brother once we were both cleaned up. We have some of the cutest pictures. If they are allowed then let them come, at least right after. Siblings need to bond just as much as the parents do.

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I’ve taken my Children and had my parents watch them. The pros of having them there is it allows the siblings to immediately start bonding and gives you time with your children before they go home for the night. The Con is the children get antsy and tired of waiting.

I had a home birth. My (then 4 year old) didn’t know I was in labor… Baby came out and 2 min after he walked into the bathroom (we didn’t know he was coming)… He had nightmares for a while because there was blood on baby and the floor. He got a very big fright. I think you should definitely think long and hard about this as it’s not that great. Better if everything cleaned up in my opinion.

But then again he was not expecting any of this… I think if he had to actually see it he wouldve needed therapy… The screaming/crying/blood ect isn’t great for a kid…

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My 10 month old was in the delivery room with my husband and I it actually helped me to relax and I only spent 3 hrs from getting to the hospital til I gave birth and it was a special moment for our family. So it’s a personal choice.

When I had my oldest daughter last year I had to take me youngest son. It was a very stressful he only wanted me and I couldn’t hold him. While giving birth he actually sat still and didnt move (which really surprised me as he was 2) he has been very caring and protective over his sister. While in the hospital he had to help me with everything. I was glad to get home as if he had to leave my side for any reason he thru a fit. I dont honestly recommend taking children with you but if you have to then you have to

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Didn’t want my kids there but unfortunately didn’t have an option, age was 4 and 3… they thought I was dying not a good situation

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I do not think it’s a good idea for a child to witness a birth. Seeing their mom in that much pain with that much blood could be hugely traumatic. I can’t imagine if my 4 yr old was in the room with me screaming he would be a wreck

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The hospital would not allow it and I was NOT happy. Ended up having a c section, so it’s a good thing she wasn’t there!

Take someone to watch them. I wanted my oldest with me but didn’t have anyone to watch and tend to her while I was in labor. The stress of that would have been horrible during my labor. I would have been worrying about her comfort and needing things. If you have someone go for it. I would have loved if my daughter got to witness her brothers birth.

My 8 yr old was with me all was great! She held my hand and rubbed my head. I made sure for her sake not to scream or yell so she didn’t get traumatized. She was above my head so she didn’t see anything down on the bottom. When her little brother came out she cried and was so happy to finally get to meet him. They are 18yrs old and 10yrs old now and have the cutest bond I have ever seen with siblings.

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It was great! My 7 year old was with me. the hospital had made her take a class and evaluate her maturity before signing off. She also had to have an adult “helper”. The only time she had to walk out was when the anthesiologist kept missing my tap and it was painful. Outside of that it was a wonderful experience. Had Dad, mother in law, mother, and daughter all the room to welcome baby sister.

I had my mom bring my 1 year old to the hospital when I was in labor he wasnt there for the birth as they went home around 8pm but he was there for about 8 hours and he just played around and watched tv. If it would have been just me and my husband we wouldnt have let him be there since it would have been harder to watch him.

My oldest stayed the night with my husband and I when my second was born. She went with us and was there the whole 26 hours of labor. My mom was finally able to show up about and hour before I delivered and she took our oldest to the waiting room for that part. Our hospital staff was amazing. They helped make her a little sleeping area on the loveseat was in the room. They moved the recliner over against the front so she wouldn’t fall off and hit the hard floor. She was 16 months old. They brought her coloring books and crayons, little books for reading, the nurses loved her and would have her walk around with them at times. She did amazing, and that girl was a wild child lol. She hung out watching cartoons and coloring. We are about to have baby #6 and our kids really wanna be there until the baby comes. They wanna be a part of it all. We plan to take them with us and they can stay ij there until time to push. Then my aunt is coming to take them to the waiting room. After baby is born we plan to let them spend some time with him before heading home. We are taking some games with us, and bag of coloring books and crayons, etc. To help keep them from getting to bored. I say it is up to you and how you think your LO will do.

I had my way the time 2 year old with me. I had to have a c section so he didnt watch the delivery but he stayed with my mother in my room and got to see me and baby as soon as possible and it was amazing to watch him be such and amazing big brother and he stayed the night in the hospital with me and daddy and baby and it was a wonderful experience for us

I just had my daughter January 23rd and they had mandatory sickness shut downs … 12 and under couldn’t even come into the hospital at all. So my 2 year old never even got to come to the hospital. Make sure you check all that first before making plans.

My friend went into labor so fast that he son was in the room. It didn’t phase him at all!!

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My hospital wouldn’t allow anyone under the age 12 to be in the delivery room. The youngest person I had was my 16 year old sister in there for my 3rd baby.

In 2017 when I had my last child my then 8 year old was there for the entire delivery. The doctor even let her help. My other 2 children (boy 8 & girl 9) stayed at a hotel that was across the street with my dad and came as soon as she was born. I let them decide what they wanted but the hospital did have a policy that no one under 5 could be there unless they were a sibling.

I would have gladly taken mine especially my oldest but he watch a video of someone in labor and told me he did not ever want to see me in that much pain…lol. however I was nine and I watched my brother be born I actually got to sit in the Doctors lap and help deliver my brother nothing about it scared me I’ve actually been completely infatuated with birth ever since and have sat in with so many of my friends and family during their deliveries. I think it’s more so what you’re comfortable with and how open and honest you are as a parent with your children my children are now 8 4 + 2 and my oldest was 6 when I had my youngest and he was all for being in there but like I said he doesn’t like to see me in pain. But all three of my kids are boys all three of them know about breastfeeding the oldest knows pretty much everything at this point so like I said I just think it’s what you’re comfortable with and how honest of apparent you’re going to be with your kids.

My son was with me until it was time to give birth and then he stepped out with family. Loved having him there and he liked being there for his sister.

Hospitals are full of sick people. Don’t do it. Limit contact.

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My daughter was 7 when I had my son it was just before her 8th birthday she was meant to go with my sister when I went into labour my sister was on her way to collect her by the time she got to the hospital I had had my son my daughter saw it all and she actually loved being there to witness her little brother be born. I was in slow labour for 2 weeks so when my waters actually broke at 7 in the morning he was born at 08.39 so was in main labour only for an hour and 39 minutes.

Yes. We took my daughter before she was even 1. Daddy took care of her. She kept herself occupied. She also fail asleep on the couch. Had no issues

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I don’t think a small kid needs to see that.

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My 8yr old daughter came in for the deliver of my son. She thought it was the most amazing thing. She did have to have an adult assigned to her other than my husband and I.

I had my 8yr old. I made him leave and regretted it only because the person he went with was/is toxic. I mean a lil one running around probably wouldn’t be good in case of emergency but. Yea

I think that’s a horrible idea. Anything can happen/go wrong and you could be putting your child through a traumatic experience. It is a scary things for most grown men to watch! Not to mention there is no telling how long it will be.
There is no need for a young child to be there for that, seems like a lot of added stress for everyone for no reason.

Ask your doctor for their opinion and go with that.

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I didn’t have a choice at the time and my five year old daughter was in the hospital hallway with me when I gave one big push and the baby popped out… it all happened so fast! She was clearly shocked but wasn’t traumatized by any means! Lol I’m currently pregnant now and my now 13yr old and 8yr old girls have asked to be in the room and I told them that they by all means can be in the room with me leading up to pushing and decide when the time comes to stay in the room or go to the waiting room with family! All families and children are different and all labors are different as well so I believe it’s a different choice and circumstance for each family! :heart:

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Yes, my two year old son when my daughter was born. A family member stayed in my room and cared for him. He seemed alright. We didn’t have another option unfortunately

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No. My oldest at the time was 1yr 2 weeks old. So the staff told us to find a family member at 12 at night. We brought her to the hospital with us we didn’t think they were gonna keep me since i was 2cm dilated. Well called my dad hubby brought her to poppop and mommoms house. We had her sister 3 hours later.

Personal choice. But remember, things can go wrong very quickly & they don’t have the time to remove your child out of the way

I have birth with my 10 month old in the bed with me …

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my 1 year old son was in the room while i was giving birth! my dad held him while my mom and boyfriend and sister helped with the birth! i think it’s cool he’ll be able to say he was in the same room when she was being born

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Check with the hospital…some dont allow anyone younger then 18 in the room

I can not think of any pros to giving birth with a small child there.:joy::joy: sorry I like to be in pain alone. My small children would be climbing on me. Contractions or no.

Depends completely on the child!!! My 4 & 5 year olds witnessed most of my labour with my 3rd baby! (Was unavoidable!) My 4 year old was worried about me but completely fine when baby came! My 5 year old was super worried about me and hated the baby for hurting his mummy!! Baby is now 6 years old and he still harbours some resentment towards her!! He doesnt really remember why, it’s just always been there!! Its completely damaged his bonding with her!! :sweat:

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I watched my brother be born! But I was 15 at the time. One of the most incredible experiences

My nurse midwife allowed my sister to hold my 5 yr old in her lap the whole time but I have very easy labors (& she would have taken her out if need be)

I think of they are old enough to explain what is going on and what could happen and you won’t be alone then it’s great.

My almost 3 year old was in the room. Pro- she has an amazing bond with her sister and was so helpful with her and she truly felt like a big sister by being there. CON- she tells everyone including random strangers at the grocery store that her sister came out of moms bagina.

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A lot of hospitals do not let you have young children in the room during delivery. Its a pretty good rule, all things considered. There’s a lot going on that could scare them. And the hospital staff need to be able to focus on you and baby.
But waiting outside the room while you deliver and visiting before and after shouldn’t be problem.

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My bonus son was in the room when I had our daughter, we put him facing the corner with his tablet and headphones when I gave birth.

We had my 1st daughter at the hospital with us cause we also had family there too but she wasn’t in the room with me and my husband because I had to have another C-section done but as soon as it was over and we got back to our room I had them bring my oldest in to see her and she stayed with us 3 of the 4 days we were in the hospital. The last day she couldn’t because I had been discharged but her baby sister wasn’t due to some health issues. We always made sure to include our oldest daughter in my second pregnancy she went to the ultra sound appointments with us and we always told that she was gonna be a big sister and was excited about it and she was really happy to be there and spend the days and nights with us at the hospital and be involved with her baby sister. You just gotta figure out what is best for you and your family.

I’m considering this. The place I want to give birth at allows it… the only downside I see is if an emergency arises.

When I had my first kiddo I was rushed to emergency c section. My husband wasnt even in the room yet when they started cutting. If I had a child there he wouldnt have been able to be with me or see our daughter be born.

I guess just have a back up person at the hospital with you!

I had my son during flu season and I was worried about going into labor while hubby was at work or having an emergency (I was high risk) and my daughter having to come along. Hospital gave me even more reason to worry because they told me no matter what my daughter couldnt be back in the ward because of flu season so yeah, couldn’t leave a 2 year old in the waiting room alone. I ended up getting lucky and went into labor right after my husband got home from work one day and my parents were right around the corner to get my daughter. I would talk to your hospital before even considering it because even if you plan for her to be there she may not be allowed.

i did it had my 1yr old with me while giving birth to hes sissy he was on hes stroller sleep. daddy, aunties and grandpa where also apart of my daughters birth lmaoo

I was 12 when my mom had my youngest sibling I wanted to be in the room so bad and was so excited and then I realized how much pain my mom was in And the nurses directed me to the waiting area it’s a lot for kids to see their mom In that much pain. Really would depend on the age and the child, sometimes giving birth can last a long time too :woman_shrugging:

I had my 7 month old in my living room with my 2 year old watching and all he said after was" you guys should clean this up,its yucky"!:joy:

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might be a bit traumatic seeing mum in so much pain depends on the age i guess

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I wouldn’t, I took care of my Mom at 11 years old and with all her stitches cause my brother was so big I wouldn’t want a child see that happen.

It would scare them to bad to have them there

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My 18m old watched her brother be born and my 2.5yo and 1yo will watch their sister be born. Birth is only scary if you make it scary. Watch birth videos with them, explain it.

Its definitely a nightmare lol
I had to take my 3 yearold in the room well I was in labour only for about 5 minutes cause no one had got to the hospital yet.
my 3YO started crying as soon as the IV was in my hand and wouldn’t stop. It made it realy hard to focuse on myself and what my midwife was saying to me cause all i could think about is Oh no shes crying she’s scared gotta comfort her and tell her mommy’s ok that ur both safe and all that. So glad when everyone showd up lol.
Basically if u can find someone to babysit at home or even in the hospital waiting room do that don’t take them in the room unless no other option

Most hospitals restrict the age and # of support people you are allowed while you are delivering. Personally even if I would have been allowed to bring them, I think my 11 and 8 year old would have been traumatized to see their baby brother born via cesarean and there was no way they were going to be looking at my lady bits. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Depends how young the child is lol.

In all honesty children dont belong there because ANYTHING could happen.

That just sounds like a nightmare tbh lol