Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. School wants to test my child for delays, is it warranted?
find a different pre-school–he sounds like a perfectly normal 3 yr old
Find a different school!! Sounds normal to me. He’s 3!!!
I honestly would fine a different preschool. Coming from a Catholic background…they always are strict with kids and have crazy outdated ideas about kids and how they should behave
A different pre-school. Or even a day care that offers a pre-school curriculum. And I also want to mention that since he knows all of the stuff that they teach in pre-school that he might be bored. Otherwise he sounds like a normal 3 year old.
That’s why I enrolled my boys in a well-rounded preschool that included music, gymnastics, and art. Keep in mind that your child is enrolled in a more conservative environment and so they will have different criteria for their assessments.
He sounds like a regular 3 year old to me who just isn’t used to being in that type of setting. Agree with above. New preschool.
As a pre-school teacher of many years this sounds like normal behavior and unrealistic expectations on the part of the teacher. Try a different school and if they think he needs intervention, get it checked out. If he isn’t checked now you may have a difficult time getting services for him later should he need them. Most children with delays who get early intervention get caught up and don’t need further intervention.
Private schools have ridiculous expectations, especially catholic ones. They also usually think that having Autism is something that needs to be cured so I am not surprised they wanted to have you test him. Find a school that accommodates your needs, not the other way around. He sounds perfectly healthy and all kids are having issues adjusting right now.
I would look for a different preschool. It sounds likes they aren’t able to handle any kids that aren’t very disciplined. While I don’t think testing would be a bad thing and obviously if he doesn’t have issues nothing will show up it does seem a little early to make that call. They are basically saying he isn’t listening or doing what they want right away and they can’t do anything about it so you have to do something about it cause they can’t have him acting out. Not a good fit for your child.
It sounds like this school expects full conformity of toddlers. The purpose of pre-school is to get kids socialized and ready for the next steps into real school. Three year olds need interactive play to learn new things. You can’t just sit a toddler down and teach them. I feel like these teachers want their students to be medicated so they aren’t a bother and that’s not cool. I’d definitely look into the situation. Something isn’t right there. I wouldn’t send them back.
It won’t hurt anything . If they do find something … early intervention is the key . If they find nothing … then you haven’t lost anything
Wow, sounds like the school is quick to make judgments, especially after 2 sessions on 3 year old. I would follow your own “gut, mother intuition “ and think about finding another preschool, one not so strict and willing to give your kiddo time to adapt to the rules. He has a many years of structured education ahead of him, now is not the time to crush his little spirit, kids lean through play!
Thats just beyond crazy
Red flag. That’s expecting way too much out of a 3 year old. They shouldn’t have to endure stress that much.
Find a different school for him where he won’t be afraid to be himself, & where they will still have some set rules that are “normal.”
He was just having fun. Geezzzz
I would tell them no. He is 3, not 33. Kids are not made to sit still for long periods of time
I’d tell them to fuck off, he’s 3. Not 13, all this is new to him and they aren’t even giving him a chance, look for a new school
If you have questions about his development talk with you pediatrician, they can help a lot with those questions. Also, since this is a private school, do you have to pay extra for the evaluation or is covered with the tuition? The evaluations are long and take more than a few sessions to get completed. In my school district, school and pediatrician have communication to know where they are in the identification process and exchange information.
Sounds like they just don’t want to deal with him.
I’d take him out of that school
But I’d also let them test him 1st
Or introduce structure and discipline at home
You need to find a different preschool. Private schools can sometimes have high expectations of students
I’m pretty evenly split on this… part of me is outraged and thinks is extreme and lazy on their part. The other part of me recognizes they receive training that we don’t on early warning signs of things. They’re not diagnosing him, just suggesting you be proactive. If you feel that’s too extreme and you don’t want to subject him to it, then don’t. Find a different school though because the school isn’t going to change their ways for one kid. If you educate yourself on the testing being requested and it’s something that is affordable for your family and you’re comfortable with it, worst case scenario is they give you a diagnosis you weren’t expecting but you now have the ability to get ahead of it early instead of him going through years of hating school and social situations because he doesn’t understand himself and neither does anyone else. Think on it. Meditate on it. Discuss the pros and cons with your trusted family and make the decision you feel is right for your family unit as a whole. Good luck Momma
Normal 3 year old little boy the school is being super strict on kids that age I don’t think he needs any test he doesn’t seem delayed if he knows all the things you said he does could he have ADD or ADHD maybe but it’s not something I would worry about for a couple more years
If he wasn’t well behaved to begin with why send him to a private catholic school where they’re expected to behave at all x? Private schools have an higher expectation of students honestly. Just pull him from that preschool and put him in a public one n see how he does and if he still doing what he does then look into testing. Just because he knows his colors shapes numbers etc doesn’t mean something isn’t wrong just FYI. Start disciplining him and having more of a structured environment for him at home. If it doesn’t happen at home how do you expect schools to deal with it?
I would think the school is just super strict. My daughter is 3 shes the same she has manners shes extremely intelligent and she knows all the stuff she needs to know and more but if shes bored she runs around she plays and she gets hyper. I dont think the test can hurt anything but i also dont think he needs it.
I grew up with a catholic dad. My nana was Catholic. They believed children should be seen and not heard. Don’t know if that’s ALL Catholics, but that was a good majority of the ones I grew up around. I hated it. Thats why most of the time I was with my mother.
That is a possibility of why that may be so. That was my experience.
Take him to a regular school that is better equipped to deal with toddlers being toddlers. P.s. Your 3 year old can’t read stop lying lol
Yeah, I’m Catholica nd have never heard of a Catholic school behaving this way… Weird.
Take him somewhere else. I don’t think he needs tests at this point unless there are actually issues and delays.
Coming from my mom has two children that are developmentally delayed it does not sound like your son is and I would not let them test him until he gets older it sounds like he’s doing normal 3-year-old stuff
The problem there is CATHOLIC.
Rather get it checked out and it be nothing than dont and it be something
Like how can this be bad? Get him tested
I personally would find a new school. I dealt with this all of Pre K last school. The school constantly called me. We lasted 2 wks into Kindergarten this yr and I pulled him to homeschool him. Children aren’t meant to sit and be quiet for hours. They need to move and be active! If he already knows all there’s NO reason for preschool. Wait and do pre k at 4 or even wait till 5 for Kindergarten
As a teacher with more than 20 years of experience I can tell you that no, This is not Ok… especially after barely 2 days of interacting with the child. It seems very odd.
Look for a different preschool
Please take him to your pediatrician with your concerns. Take it from someone who dealt with this. My pediatrician had no concern that he had any “issues” but referred us to a “specialist” who met with him once for 10 mins and wanted to prescribe drugs. My son always sat fine through movies and dinners at home and out as well as waiting in lines patiently. He completed tasks easily and timely as well. Had no issues with the school until the end of 3rd grade. Spoke with the teachers always and volunteered at the school a lot. Never was told they felt there was a problem. No way was I medicating him because he didn’t need it. Pediatrician agreed and was horrified the specialist wanted to drug him after a 10 min interview with him. His Dr. Said he was a normal child and would back me. School principal said she observed him doodling at a lecture. So called him out. He repeated word for word what was said. She was surprised. His 4th grade teacher and those in the following years said he was not an issue and they saw no issues with him. The issue was a 3rd grade teacher who for some reason got a bug up her ass at the end of the school year after assuring me ALL year he was fine and on track and had no educational or behavioral problems. He has never had issues and graduated with a 3.7 gpa with AP courses at the highest marks. This was also a private school. My son was also an only child. Heck even his prek school and day care never had a problem with him.
Definitely find a new school. He’s acting like a normal 3 yr old.
I would look for a different preschool. Private schools are normally more strict. You also need to get him into a good routine at home. Good luck sweetie
It does no harm to see about an assessment
But that being said, it may not be the right fit for your child. Many children can’t manage to sit still for long periods of time. This goes right up into school aged and adulthood.
I would definitely be finding a different school! That school is way to “proper” to have kids that young and expect what they are! Both my boys went to a preschool that was 90% play! They learn through play at that age not sit still and listen to what I say!
Switch preschools. They are expecting too much.
He knows a lot at his age… Does he speak?? If there’s not a language delay, I wouldn’t get him tested
There’s a lot that could be going on, I do understand the part about not being able to consistently offer one on one with him to help with expected behavior and energy levels, there’s other kids in class.
Even if it’s nothing I recommend at least looking into it so you can say okay he’s tested and there’s nothing so there. Or if he does need a little additional help it will help get the ball rolling for that! Totally nothing wrong with being tested, him, or your parenting the school and teachers are there to help you!
He’s a kid doing perfectly normal kid things. As someone who went to a Catholic preschool i was shunned for using my left hand. He and you will be happier somewhere else. I have an over active 3.5 year old myself who is very smart but i dont see traditional school working for him. I plan to get him to a Montessori school.
I’d look for a different school
Seems very strict for very young children…Never heard of this approach for Children this age…
If you are happy with your child going here then that fine but if you feel its not the right place for your childs needs…Then move them somewhere else xx
Knowing his numbers and letters and such means very little as in play school the main requirement is that they are able to follow directions and interact appropriately with others. While it seems early to enroll in a support if he is requiring an aide to be with him 1 on 1 the school should get the funding for that, which they won’t get if you wait. There’s nothing wrong with getting the testing if he tests fine then no harm no foul if he is found to need assistance then they can get the funding to help him develop. Try not to let your emotions lead you into being offended. The school wants the best for every kid.
Really test him if he knows all these things at 3 he may be gifted and really bored. Most 3 years do not know all these things. Maybe 5 but not 3… not typical kids. Teacher for 10 years
It sounds like he needs more socialisation. Also he needs a few days to get their routines and expectations down. There is a potent that maybe he needs another year at home. Some kids need to be a little more mature to go to school. My kids won’t be going to kinder till they’re six for this reason.
Find a better school
Im having a hard time believing your child can read and do math at 3.5
Absolutely not! Look at different preschools. Kids have to adjust to new surroundings. It doesn’t happen within two days and especially not at that age. If they can’t even hold his hand…take your son elsewhere where you’re comfortable with the teachers and their practice. I wish you the best.
Of course he is running around… He is 3
New school or maybe even wait til he is 4.
Ok. So, as a preschool teacher, I can tell you that it is WAY too soon for testing and early intervention. Your child first of all, is 3. Secondly, he is new to a school setting. There will be at least a month long adjustment period.
I would deny them their testing and tell them exactly what I just said. There is absolutely no way to know after two days that he needs to be tested for anything.
If your Doctor isn’t worried about delays the school shouldn’t be eather… children develope at different rates. Perhaps ask them why they think the need and discuss it with your Doctor 1st.
It’s never too early for early intervention… some states have free programs up to a certain age. There are things that if caught early they can be improved on easier than later on in life. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your child.
It also just sounds like the class isn’t equipped for children with different needs, and specific classes require testing and evaluations to enroll your child.
Or your child is super gifted and bored and should be tested to see if they can go to a higher grade.
That’s great that he knows his letters and numbers. He sounds like a bright boy, but if he’s unable to follow simple directions and listen, that’s not good. BUT two days is NOT long enough time for them to say anything to you about testing him. That’s ridiculous. He’s also adjusting to a new school, new schedule, new everything.
Yall bashing about no way he can "read or do math"but yall dont know to what the specific the mother is describing…maybe the son can read letters and numbers maybe not a full book. Yes there are plenty of 3 yr olds and younger that can read, its not unheard of. However usually private schools are strict. And there is nothing wrong with getting him checked. Likr someone else suggested he could be gifted and bored…that in combo with the lack of discipline you say he needs more of and being a 3 yr old, could be the cause. In 2 days kids dont really get adjusted yet. I would just pull him and put him in a different place but also get him evaluated so you are better equipped to handle anything, if any,that arises.
Find a different school !
Try monastery school I hear they’re great and they teach the child the way that particular child would best be able to learn
I had mine test at that age. My first child wouldn’t speak. He couldn’t get his words out. Which happens with being the oldest at times. Most kids learn from siblings. My second was really smart however I didn’t like them pushing for him to write with his right hand when he was left handed but hey he can use both now lol. They actually wanted to skip him a grade. I don’t see anything wrong with it because then they know what he needs. Most gets get tested in school anyways. My daughter went to preschool and they were always working with the kids and testing them. Your child needs to be social and learn rules and how things work when he’s not at home. The cord was cut for a reason let him learn and grow.
Try a different school.
The teacher didn’t even spend the whole 6 hours with him. Wtf. Hes 3. School its being ridiculous
Find a school that has a hands on policy. I paid double the local rate for both my kids pre-school just for the teachers who loved the kids like their own, who would cuddle them when hurt, hold their hands, pre-covid and let them be kids. They had structured days and lots of play time. But the quality of the teacher is what I paid for.
However, if a school is picking up something and suggesting a test, do it. He may be too advanced and bored for the school.
I would get him tested. There could be something there and early intervention is best. That does not mean you have to get him medicated but there are services available through the school district if he does have an issue.
It’s good to get early intervention rather than later cause if the child does need help they can get it now
Um hell no. This kid isnt even 4. He just isnt ready for school structure. Hes fine. Sounds like a kid, to me.
Oh. And fuck that school. Yank him.
No change preschools.
All 4 if my kids get tested at 3 to 4 years old. If they are behind than they get help they need. But if your child is where they should be at their age than you can make the choice how he approaches and is with others than with you it is a learning experience for parents too. He can behave and act one way at school making them think he needs testing compare being with you and others theh know. I learned that one quick.
But to early in school year for them to be saying they need testing because they are playing. Personally I’ll look else where less strict and more opened to child to follow a different structure. Some kids have a high burst of energy and need time to get that energy out. Plus at 3 and 4 they are up and moving not really in a grade school setting. And even in kindergarten they are up moving around because they need that moment to get that energy out and refocus.
Best to do it but still switch schools. My child has had the same issue and we’re still facing it at age 5.
Find a different school, sounds like he is excited for school and had energy to burn so he wanted to run and play like a normal kid and the teachers didn’t want to deal with it. Find a school that has more outdoor play and more to your child’s needs. Have him run around a bit before school to get some energy out boy life full of energy let him play good luck mama you’re doing great!
Kids shouldn’t be forced to sit down especially pree school!! I mean if they are not hungry than let them go and play!!
My son is 3 and doesn’t really know much. He can count to 3 but doesn’t know anything else…but 2 days it’s long enough.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. School wants to test my child for delays, is it warranted?
Like I said in an above comment reply. Too many people, including daycare workers, teachers, even parents, want to play doctor. Children aren’t supposed to be tested until at least 5 or 6. This is a new environment for him, he’s getting to play with other kids, and he’s 3. People just want children on meds to “calm them down” just because they don’t want to deal with them. I’m sure he’s just fine momma, just a baby excited to have other kids to play with! Switch him some where different where they are more relaxed and will let him be a child!
Nope wait til he’s older
Honestly if they think he should be tested let them test him. Theres nothing negative by it. My sons school wanted him held back in kindergarten. At first I was super against it but I finally relented and it was the best thing that I could’ve done. There was nothing wrong with him other then he needed a little extra help and time to figure out what school was all about.
I wouldn’t personally. I have an only child too. She’s in kindergarten now but she’s always thrived for social interactions. When she went to day school, the teachers were super compassionate and loved the kids. I think I would find a new place first. They don’t want to be hands on then that’s not the right place for an only child in my opinion. Plus at that age kids are still exploring and taking everything in. It sounds like they are not even giving him a chance to learn.
How any preschool is totally hands off is ridiculous. For the kiddos safety, they should be holding hands at the very least. Since he’s an only child, and not used to the socialization, or the structure yet…maybe he needs to go to a more relaxed daycare. Or, have him evaluated, and if it comes back as he’s a typical 3 yo, tell them to shove it and stop calling you
I would move him preschools. That’s beyond ridiculous that they are completely hands off. Having worked in a preschool and now having a child with special needs, I’ve seen a lot. And expecting 3 year olds to just follow along is ridiculous. It honestly sounds like 1 he would benefit from being around other kids (all kids can esp now) and 2 he needs to be in a classroom that is accommodating and can redirect. Having to redirect and work with kids that have never been to preschool or daycare is literally what they should be used to. So this blows my mind.
He’s 3 sounds normal to wants get up and be active he’ll get into the routine of child care ! Maybe find a different preschool that aren’t afraid to take their hands !
I feel he is too young to be tested. Hes a 3 year old boy full of energy and not adjusted to the new schedule. Give him a chance to understand the new rules he is to follow. No sense trying to put a label on a 3 year old boy, especially if you as a mom feel nothing is wrong. Go with your heart
Preschool caught my daughters speech delay, ADD/ADHD, and being on the spectrum.
Im so thankful bc its all been manageable since 1st grade. Zero issues academically.
Sounds like they’re a little focused on obedience for such young kids. I think your child would be better suited for a Montessori type environment. They’re with different age kids and encouraged to be individual. It doesn’t sound like your child is delayed, it sounds like he just acts like an only child who hasn’t learned how to interact with other kids in a super strict environment like that. Maybe he’s just more spirited and independent, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Let him be tested… he may be given extra therapies… such as speech, mobility … etc…also if there are emotional or behavior concerns it can be addressed now… a child who tests needing any additional help means those things dont fall through the cracks and be ignored for years… as the child ages it is reevaluated yearly if iep and every 3 years for…ETR to show support needed less of or more of… like extended test times or extra tutor help… if a child appears to need tested why not test and see what is found…it doesnt mean you agree with any extra help offered but everyone can be aware of it… those that test are qualified positions to see delays or where extra concern is needed.
Like learning, socialization comes when your child is exposed to other children his age. Your child just needs to “learn” how to socialize. I don’t think he needs to be tested.
I would say change the school. See if you can find a Montessori oriented school for him.
this is typical Catholic schooling. They want the child to Listen and they don’t tolerate anything but that. My son was similar in behavior. School tested him and put him in special Ed. Took me three yrs to get him out and in normal classes. He was an A student all the way thru school. Be careful
You need to put him in a different preschool, they are not handing anything the way it should be.
Hour son is fine, their expectations are way too high, he’s only 3 1/2 plus he’s never been in school/daycare before they are TOTALLY jumping the gun.
That place sounds terrible!
Sounds like they are nuts
Yes whats the big deal let him be tested
Let him be tested…better safe than sorry you didnt do it and have problems later…let teachers do their jobs
I would try a different pre school
He’s 3!! What the heck! Why are schools always trying to get children to fit into a 1 size fits all situation and they when they act like CHILDREN they try to pin a label on them?? If he’s 6 and this is still happening? Maybe. But 3??? No, I wouldn’t let mine get tested this early. Kids are misdiagnosed with all kinds of things when tested too early that will hinder them in the long run. Anything out of the ordinary gets chalked up to that official diagnosis instead of pointing to something that can be corrected in a natural way. I’ve seen gifted children be diagnosed with ADD when in fact, they were bored as hell and just needed MORE. Let him be 3. As long as he’s continuing to learn more and more then let it be.
Try a different school.
You can go for the test, and get your answers…and take it to a different school
Definitely not ! He is 3 and is new to the routine of things .
I think that school is kind of ridiculous.
Do not have him tested! He is a and a boy. Put him in a day care where he can play with other kids. Discipline at home. God Bless
Yes. It’s normal. They are seeing something you are not. Have him tested and you will have your answer.