I had a traumatic delivery. On my practice pushes, before the doctor arrived in the room, I pushed my babies head out. In a panic, the nurse pushed him back inside, causing me to tear. I suffered fourth-degree tears, tearing off my labia, and had to have 26 stitches total. My SO said he is convinced that she added a “husband stitch” because it was so incredibly tight that we could not even fit a pinky finger in without stretching me and causing discomfort. The first two times having sex two months postpartum (I got the okay from two different OB doctors after I started birth control and got my exam done. My stitches were all healed and dissolved) was extremely painful. The second time around, I ended up tearing and bleeding heavily for about 10 minutes. After that, the entrance opened up, and I think the “husband stitch” ripped. It was instant relief. However, I am 3 months, almost four months postpartum, and sex is so painful. It is enjoyable once we get going; the entrance is the worst part, no matter how much lube is used. I have an extremely high pain tolerance. Every single time after sex I gush blood for about 5 minutes. Has any other mamas experienced this? Any advice? I completely understand sex may never feel the same again, but this seems to be too much.
You need to see a pelvic floor physical therapist
Sex isnt supposed to hurt. See a dr
I didn’t experience this, but this sounds terrible! I’m so sorry!
I would talk to a new obgyn at a new practice for help with the physical aspect of this and a lawyer for the damage caused to you and the dangerous and potentially life threatening for baby actions of that “nurse”!
First of all is your baby ok?? The nurse should not bave pushed the baby back in!
See a dr. It should not cause you to bleed and it should not hurt.
I had something similar but not as severe. There was a lot of scar tissue in there that was causing the pain for 8 months post partum. I would talk to your OB and ask for referral to pelvic floor PT!
This is just gross. Go see a doctor
She…pushed the baby back in? Wtf? She shouldn’t be a nurse! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I think you need a pelvic floor therapist.
Oh my word I hope that you plan to sue the hospital for the nurse who did that. And it sounds to me like you need to work with a sex therapist. You are still healing from the trauma of the birth. Even if the physical injury is healed every time your hubby is entering you are still experiencing the pain of the nurse pushing baby bask in. And I think your stuck shut due to that. You should go to a urologist too and make sure you don’t have any internal issues including a prolapse of bladder or uterus. I’m so sorry but it sounds just horrific to have to go through that anytime you have sex. I will be praying that it gets rectified.
Definitely talk to someone about it. Maybe find something that you can massage the area prior to being intimate with your hubby, see if it helps relax that part and not tear
I had a 4th degree laceration but only 12 stitches. So first ouch momma holy fuck balls! Secondly I couldn’t have sex until I was 12weeks pp, used a ton of lube and still tore a little. Doctor showed the ol man a couple of “messages” to try and help my muscle relax
I’m more concerned and shocked that the nurse PUSHED THE BABY BACK IN?! it’s no wonder you’ve suffered the way you have!!!
Same here with the pain, never stopped for 5 years so far, hoping a tubal will help bring everything to normal again. I have mirena and not sure if that messed everything up
See a different practice than who stitched you for a visit with a doctor
You need to call your doctor and if they say it is fine then find another doctor. Sex shouldn’t be that painful and their shouldn’t be any amount of blood
I had issues with tearing and a poor stitch job. I finally tore about an inch after a year of painful sex. My doc told me the surgery to repair the large tear was not covered by my insurance because it is considered cosmetic. To be honest though I am glad the pain is gone but feel bad for the husband. I hope you get some sort of relief soon.
Have you talked to your doctor? You shouldn’t bleed like that after sex
You need to get yourself to a dr
I would of definitely REPORTED that nurse !!! and raised some serious hell !
You should sue the nurse. What the he’ll was she thinking?
You need a new dr!! Never go back to where you have birth again.
A husband stich isn’t a real thing it’s a joke thing… To say it tore says to me something else is going on dwn there.
Gushing blood? Them nurses that shoved your baby in (and causing possible harm to your baby!) Are fucking idiots. You should sue. It sounds like your bleeding on the inside. And that super tight feeling at first? Bloat from the bleeding.
You need a Dr asap and NOT that same place u were
Ummmmmm… this needs to be investigated. You need to file an official complaint about “pushing the baby back in.” What the actual fuck.
I had a similar experience. My son’s had the cord around his neck three times. When he dropped into the birth canal he coded and the nurse in the room literally shoved him back up and her hands to save him by putting her fingers in between the cord and his neck. It caused a lot of tearing and I healed more along the lines of a wound healing vs childbirth. It does take a lot longer to heal than birth. The pain does get better with time, but the sensation will never be like it was before birth. You develop new sensations after healing because the shape is no where near the same as before. I’m also a nurse so I was able to understand what my body was doing better. It take several months for nerves to heal once they’ve been torn and that could be causing some of the pain.
See your dr & if he can’t help try a different dr -preferably a woman!!
So then stop until your fully recovered aint rocket science
Go see a pelvic floor therapist. When your muscles and nerves are healing they can heal too tight. This therapy will help to loosen them and make it enjoyable again for you.
I’d find a new doctor
I’d get this checked
I would see a different ob
Also, what is a “practice push?” I have two kids… born in different states. Was told to absolutely not push until it was time because it can damage the cervix and slow the delivery.
If it is overlooked by the OB doctor then I would consult a pelvic floor therapist if you can find one in your area because they will teach you things that an OB doctor will not.
Pushed baby back in?!!?!?!! WHAAAATTT. Omg I’m so sorry mama. I’m 23 weeks with my 4th and mildly panicking now ahh
FYI - the nurses will push the baby back in to save it’s life. If the cord is around the babies neck and the Dr is not in the room they can either push back to relieve the pressure or cross there fingers that the baby isn’t dead by the time the Dr rushes in. It’s damaging to the mom but deadly to the newborn if they can’t get the pressure relieved.
I delivered a 9 lb baby naturally, compound labor. It was horrible. Everything ripped. I had to have reconstructive surgery. It was horrible.
She’s now 27. Haha.
You need to find a new doctor, and an attorney to sue that nurse for malpractice.
First of all hire a lawyer NOW. Have you heard of the kennedy family? More specifically Rosemary? Google her. LAWYER NOW!
Why why why did she push the babies head back in !!!
- Stop having sex until you sex a new doctor.
- Speak with the board of the hospital about that nurse
What country are you im cuz wtf
I’d be getting a lawyer asap, but as far as tips I’m kinda unsure, I had somewhat of a similar issue (not nearly as bad as yours I’m sorry) and I went to the doctor and was told that my libido was probably off since I had a baby, she reccomended washing with scent free soaps, using lube, and certain underwear.
But I would definitely be finding a different doctor.
She fucking pushed the baby’s head back in?!! I am God damn horrified! You poor women! I’d have kicked her right in the face .
I had the same issue. I’ve been doing pelvic floor physical therapy and it has worked wonders. I highly recommend it.
I really hope you sued that place and got that witch fired. I’m so sorry for that trauma you went through. I really think you’ll need to go to a new, better doctor. There may be something they can do for you physically to help out. Good luck
There is literally no reason ever for a nurse to push your babies head back in. Like what in actual [email protected]?!
You need a lawyer. You also need to find a good pelvic floor therapist. Get far away from that practice.
Sue for medical malpractice!!!
What on earth is a practice push and why the hell did she push the baby back up?! Surely the damage that could cause is castatrophic
I had this happen to me after I had my son and even had to use some lidocaine gel to bare the pain. I had to go to a physical therapist that specialized in pelvic floor therapy because I had such bad tears during my labor. It will get better if you get some help
Use Aphrodisiacs it will help soften the place and make you more relaxed.
1.Search for Fenugreek seed or powder it good in healing and will increase use breastmilk production
2. Be Making Banana milk shake and taking regularly
3. Regular watermelon intake
4. Tigernut juice
5. Eat a lot of coconut and date
I have never heard of a practice push
Could it be that they stitched you too tight that it cannot penetrate.see another medical advise
Get a new doctor and definitely get a lawyer!!
Omg why would they push the baby’s head back in
My nurses had me do practice pushes and my daughter crowned. They immediately told me to stop pushing and I had to wait over an hour in active labor to push again.
A woman was awarded millions for a more severe version of this just in the last few years…Have y’all spoken with attorneys yet? I WOULD NOT let this go personally! Hoslitals know this stuff causes irreversible damage, they know they aren’t supposed to make women hold off on labor for a dr to be available and they for damn sure know they aren’t supposed to force a baby back up, but they are doing these things anyway and the only way to change wrong doings is to fight for those changes! Minimally id say you’d need compensation to cover your specialists and possibly procedures to help you get your sex life somewhat back! This stuff is UNACCEPTABLE and your story is not isolated unfortunately😞 Maybe look for a group or blog or really anything in the realm of familiar to your story to see what has worked for others but I know the woman I followed was never going to be “normal” again, her life was irreparably changed and it went much further than just her sex life
What does your doctor say about all of this pain and what does your lawyer say about the mistreatment and malpractice you experienced during delivery?
Follow as I’ve had my child 15 months ago and I’m still in a lot of pain during and after sex, I’m under gynaecologist for it but waiting for an appointment still
After you have a baby it will take longer for you to be ready for sex, use lube and communicate, it will take time. If you have questions PM me… I sell Pure Romance and can help with women’s sexual help
Sounds awful for you. Just wandered if you’ve joined the fb group 4th Degree Tear Support Group. Maybe helpful for you
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry this happened to u. This is exactly why I opted for a c section to avoid any extreme damage to tissues in vagina. so maybe in future if u want more children you could consider the alternative to avoid future tears. Babys get bigger each time. Making it more prone to tears to push out. I do agree to sue the hospital , u would need proof she pushed baby back in for court purposes. although right now what’s more important is solving this pain problem.
Meanwhile I would go see your obgyn again and get advice on a surgery to redo their past stitches/scar tissue damage. This repair is obviously too tight that ur still bleeding lots. That not normal and I was going to state maybe extra foreplay to help ease less pain while having sex. Also go see an acupuncturist to deal with pain management. They do reflexology and also helps with distressing.
Are you breastfeeding? When I was breastfeeding I had super low estrogen levels like menopause. It caused pain, dryness and tearing, though nothing as horrible as you describe.
Uhhhhh, yea, that’s malpractice. File a grievance with the hospital.
Perineum massage and stretches. Several times a day!
She pushed the baby’s head back in! Are you KIDDING ME, I would have fucking lost my mind, no one should ever have to go through that, I’d look into that
Why in the world would they push the baby back in that’s just wrong wtf
PUSHED THE BABY BACK IN?!?!?! THE (((NURSE))) not the actual OBGYN? I’D SUE!!
Omg this sounds horrible, I would sue the hospital! My delivery was natural and I didn’t tear or nothing! Doing the deed didn’t feel good for a whole year!
I’ve had 4 children and never heard of a practice push and why on earth did the nurse push ur babies head back in like wtf. I’d be sueing
So I had a tiny internal tear and the dr was ubsure if she needed to even stitch it. I wiah she wouldnt have because the firdt few thrusts hurt so so bad. I hear a lot of woman complain about this. But sis go to your dr. You shoukd not be bleeding like that
I had a fourth degree tear with my first child. It was horrible. It took me 2 years to completely heal where sex didn’t hurt anymore. I’m so sorry this happened to you! Years later I was told that I should have gone to the Obgyn to get some kind of injections to help. Nerves take forever to come back together. I hope you feel better soon!!
Get a lawyer, and sue them. A nurse and doc did this to my grandmother who is 78. It was a common thijg back in the 60s but today its not. Odds are damage was caused from her shoving the baby back inside. See a new doctor.
Ummm…it can take awhile to heal like longer than a few months…some don’t lose that discomfort for like a couple years…
Ask your OB or DR for prescription estrogen cream! You only need a pea sized amount. I also had a tear and felt so tight/dry. The cream helped lubrication issues as well as made the area more “stretchy” … and worked quickly!!!
I had a similar case- sex started to be ok around 6 months and 2 years later it’s back to being amazing again. Give yourself time to heal I know it’s hard, but it will get easier!
That does not sound right at all. See another doctor
Sorry, you need to do something quick,if not don’t blame your husdand for having affair’s. That’s a true fact.
I have never heard of a practice push.
Why would they push the baby back in??? Omg how awful.
See at pelvic floor PT! There are so many good ones on Instagram. Start informing yourself and get doctors that will support you.
First off, holy cow! What an experience, I have never heard of a practice push during active labor or a nurse shoving a baby back in! I hope you reported that.
As for tge pain…I had a horrible 4th degree tear/cut and lots of stitches with my first. We didn’t have sex until 4 month pp and it was so painful, it continued to be that way for a good six months or longer and even now (4 years later) can still be tender in certain positions. I wish I had good advise to help but the best I’ve got is just give it time and take it easy. 2-3 months out is still pretty short.
They have some amazing products with pure romance that may help! Message me
Literally impossible to get him back inside without killing him I would seek out a lawyer. It may have felt that way but when I had my first I thought he was going back in and they said it’s impossible.
Scar tissue inside, it’s very painful during sex after birth.
Maybe have a doc check it out for you
Try speaking to your doctor about seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist. So sorry this happened to you
It took me a 1 1/2 year to get right on my second baby…it just needs to heel right
So so so so soooo sorry you went through this!
I had a very similar experience and nearly 30 stitches too…honestly I couldn’t have sex without discomfort until I was like 10 months postpartum…I don’t think I advocated to the Drs I went to well enough though due to my anxiety and trauma bc they didn’t do shit…which frickin sucked bc it took all my strength to go back to the hospital when I had daily PTSD from the birth. This year I’m reclaiming my health, my baby is 14 months and I also just stopped breastfeeding which has helped tremendously. PLEASE keep talking to other Drs until you find someone who will take action for you!!! You are worth it!!!
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. I would definitely find a new obgyn. And I’d call the hospital and complain. And then if something really bad was wrong, I’d sue the hospital. My nurses only touched me to see how dilated I was, and when it was time to push, nobody touched me until my doctor came in.
I have heard a story where a woman sued and got millions for a nurse shoving the baby back in like that. That’s not ok! As for sex u should consult a plastic surgeon after you talk to the lawyer about how they mistreated u at the hospital
Oh my GOD. You need to file a lawsuit now!!!
That’s awful! I would contact your ob immediately and get some help. You should not be in that much pain I hope someone can help you!
I had a small tear that didn’t even need stitches and it took a solid 6-8 MONTHS where having sex wasn’t painful. My baby is 18 months now and there’s still certain positions we have to be careful of because of that burning feeling.
Omg that is horrifying! Get a lawyer and a new Doctor! Your not receiving proper care
That’s not normal from what I understand. I would consult an OB that wasn’t involved and see if someone messed up.
Explain to your ob where it hurts. I went back in after 3 weeks to my doctor because my stitch area hurt so bad I couldn’t take it anymore. She ended up removing scar tissue that I had… needless to say it was painful but a heck of alot better. I’m still tender in some spots but not nearly like I was. I have had another child since. They dont have a clue how you feel. Good luck!
Oh my god. I’d open a lawsuit.
Sue the hell out of that hospital that is not something that should have ever been done
This happened to me , it got better after about 1.5 years honestly . It sounds crazy when I tell my husband he didnt beleive me but we know our body . Honestly just try different positions that dont hurt as much . Eventually it gets better:(
Probably scar tissue, I only tore with my first and not nearly as bad as you but had a some pain. Randomly after my second labor it sort of resolved itself. Find a better doctor and see what they suggest, it’s not okay for you to be in pain and bleed every time. That sucks, I would look at filing a lawsuit possibly.