Should a 12 year old get beats for Christmas?

Would you get your 12 year old beats for Christmas? My ex is wanting to get them for our daughter but my issue is, none of my other kids will have anything that expensive to open and I relly feel like she doesnt need them…her room is always a mess and i feel like they will get lost or broken…he said he is getting them regardless but i think its a waste…AITA


Beats headphones are an acceptable gift imo. The way I interpreted this post is the other kids aren’t his and not his responsibility. I’d ask the gift is from him and not Santa. So the other kids dont feel like Santa brought a cooler gift for kid 1 and not other kids.


If her father wants to buy them for her and she wants them why not? It’s not your daughters fault or his that you have other kids.


I have 5 kids who are all biologically mine. Last year one wanted a very very expensive gaming laptop for Christmas. It cost more than all my other kids gifts combined but she got it anyway. I have no guilt for hers costing so much more because in the end each kid got what they really wanted and that is more important to me than worrying that everyone has the same amount spent.


He can buy what he wishes. If she loses or breaks them, it’s his money and her loss. You sound bitter and petty.


So because you can’t afford to get your other children a gift of that price he shouldn’t get his daughter one? That’s not fair to him. He has that child and that child only to worry about. Your other children aren’t his concern.


This isn’t your call momma. That’s his daughter and just because your other kids don’t have parents with those resources isn’t your child’s fault. If they get broken, oh well. He will be out the money and the kid will learn to care for things. It for Christmas. Let it be


I would absolutely allow my ex to purchase his own child this. He isn’t responsible for your other kids. Just because you can’t afford it, doesn’t mean he cant


We always came from a family that equalized amounts spent BUT I don’t do that with my coparent. I spent what I do and he spends what he does. My two children receive equal amounts from me but I can’t control what their fathers or their fathers families do. Just for example, my oldest son’s papa is buying him a dune buggy for christmas. None of the other grandkids are getting anything close to that including my youngest. You can’t control anyone but yourself and no one is responsible for equalizing between your children but you.


He’s not responsible for your other children. It’s like you’re trying to punish your daughter because your other children can’t get gifts like that from their parents. I would definitely make her be grounded from them if she’s not picking up her room. You could get the others headphones that look like beats from Walmart for like 15$


You don’t get to decide what her father does or does not get her. It’s not your money and it’s not your gift. And when she loses or breaks them it’s also not your issue. You made him aware of her typical behaviors so he’s aware.


Wait, you don’t want her dad to get her a specific gift because all the other kids won’t have one?
For real? So she gets to not have expensive things from her father because your kids father can’t afford them? That’s selfish and petty tbh. Let the baby have nice things from her dad!!!


It sounds like you don’t want her to have them because you can’t afford them for your other kids not because of anything she’s doing. It’s not your daughter or your ex’s fault that you have other children and he should be allowed to spoil his daughter at Christmas time


So you basically don’t want her to get them because you can’t afford something like that for your other kids? That’s pretty selfish. If he wants to buy them for his daughter then he should be able to. It’s not his fault you have other kids. And why should you care if she breaks them or not? You’re not the one spending money on them.


You can’t control what he buys for his child. He also has no responsibility for your other kids that are not his.


I think it’s fine. I’d rather buy one nice thing that they REALLY want than a bunch of junk. Also may be a good time to teach a lesson about taking care of valuable things


He’s not responsible for your other children’s gifts. Beats are not an inappropriate gift for a 12 year old. If that’s what I wanted to buy my children for Christmas I’d buy them anyway regardless of what their dad said.


I feel like your a tad bit jealous that she is getting those for Christmas and not your other kids. Or maybe its because you wish you could get them for her but you can’t. Either way this has jealously written all over it. And i mean…you shouldn’t be jealous because that’s your child too :face_with_raised_eyebrow: you should be happy he’s buying those for her. Just let it go and be happy he’s doing this for her :heart:


If you feel they are inappropriate and she doesn’t deserve them due to her room tell him they need to stay at his house.


It’s not your business what her dad gets her, unless he asks for your opinion or it’s something inconvenient.


Sorry but it’s not his problem that your other kids won’t have something that expensive. His allowed to buy his daughter whatever he likes .


he can buy whatever he wants for his daughter, just cause you’re other kids wont have “expensive” gifts is not really his problem. (unless the others are his kids also)


Have him keep them at his house so you don’t gotta worry about them getting broken


Is this really about you not being able to afford such a gift for the other kids? He should be able to buy his daughter the gift if he has the money. Don’t compare yourself with him. :woman_shrugging:t3:


Just let him know, he can buy what he wants for her but SHE will be responsible for it. If broken or lost, that is between her and dad. Period


I got some for my 4 year old a few years back. They’re still in good working condition now and she’s almost 8!


Is this the same lady that showed out about the McDonald’s?


You’re not paying for them so what’s the issue, she shouldn’t have to miss out because the other kids aren’t getting expensive gifts :woman_shrugging:t4:.


I had a different father than my brothers. My mom was below the poverty level so most years we didn’t have huge, flashy Christmases. My fathers family isn’t wealthy, but all of the grandkids always had a GREAT christmas. My mom never limited what they could gift me. She was thrilled they could afford to spoil me lol and as us siblings got older my mom explained her and Santa didn’t buy those expensive gifts for me, but my dad and his family did. Yes they were jealous, but they got over it and they definitely haven’t ever held it against me.


He should be able to buy her the gift regardless of the price. Although I would make sure that she opens them with him at his place or somewhere that’s not in front of the other kids. What she brings home you can’t help but you can help the fact that they aren’t watching her open them. To me that’s an in your face thing yo the other children.

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I bought my then 12 year old beats for Christmas he loves them and my other kids didn’t complain. They all usually get what they ask for. My oldest sons grandma always includes the rest of the kids in Christmas by getting them one gift a piece. I think that if he wants to spend his money on his daughter and not the other kids it’s his choice. I don’t expect anyone to get my kids anything for Christmas if they can’t afford it. My sister has 3 kids and she is low low class and she still manages to get her kids something for Christmas including help from the schools and the angel tree and other community resources. She makes it work and so can you

Don’t dictate what dad can buy for his child…I’d do it just out of spite if my daughters dad told me I couldn’t get her something they wanted and I wanted to buy…


I bought my 12 year old stepson beats last Christmas. As they get older it’s not many options outside of electronics & those accessories.

I think the gift is age-appropriate and thoughtful. He’s not responsible for your other kids receiving expensive gifts or not.

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Your other children are not your ex’es responsibility. You need to address the issue with whoever fathered the other kids. Let him purchase what he wants to for her. It’s his money going to his daughter.


You’re being petty imo cuz the other kids will “be jealous” you asked and it’s exactly how it sounds. You’re making excuses behind it to try and justify it as well


I bought them for my 14 year old for his birthday and he is now 15 and a half and has taken great care of them and uses them daily … But they were kinda expensive…

I have 3 girls, my oldest daughter is just about to turn 17 and she gets different types of presents from her 9 and 5 year old sisters. They don’t mind because of the age difference but they get the same amount of presents

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I mean while I understand everything you’re saying. Let dad be dad. I wish my daughter’s dad’s were present let alone buying something for them for Christmas .


If he isn’t asking you to pay, why not? It’ll be an expensive lesson for him if she does lose or break them.
The fact is that things will never be equal in blended families, and striving for it will only make everyone miserable.


Does she really want them? Is it special to her? If so, I’d let her have em and tell her that she should designate one place in her room that she’ll always put them. That way she won’t lose them.
(The cleaning her room thing seems like a separate thing/issue and you can address that as such)

As far as the other kids, maybe see what they truly desire and go from there? The amount of money isn’t always everything. As a kid, I just wanted books and sketch materials. They were WAY cheaper than Beats

I got my 11 yr old galaxy buds. He is mature for his age. Depends on the kid.


Be thankful that your ex is willing to do those things for HIS child. Some children don’t get that kind of love and attention.
Women and men, just the same, need to let the child’s parent actually be a parent and quit dictating what they can and can not do for their child. As long as the child is not in any danger leave the man alone and let him do something special for his child.
I understand not having the money to do for the other kids, but those are not his responsibility. You make the very best with what you can do and make it special for them. It’s not about the cost of the gifts but the love they get from their parents as a whole.


It’s not your place to judge. It’s not his fault your other children won’t have “expensive” gifts. You chose him to be her father.

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If she’ll be opening them at his house I don’t see the issue, I’m sure if you share more than that one child he’ll make sure to get each of the others an equally as pricey gift as well and if not and she’s your only child together than no biggy

If she’s not responsible get her some knock offs with a good review or wait til Black Friday and see if you can get another brand for a good deal for a lower price!

I would absolutely let her father buy them for her in my experience I would have her leave them at his house tho because I have experience where they brought the expensive item back home and broke it there and the other parent blamed the one who’s house they got broke at even tho the child was 9 yrs old and broke them their selfs no one else did it

Be happy that he wants to spend money on his daughter. I think that’s an appropriate gift.


Everyone focuses so much on the cost of the gift instead of what if this kid actually wants them. If one child wants a Barbie and the other ones headphones, those shouldn’t even be compared. 


My dad got my son beats for Christmas when he was 10… he’s 13 now and has guarded them with his life

Your ex should be able to get his daughter whatever he wants. Just because you have other kids doesn’t mean she should have to go without from her dad. That’s not fair to him or her.


I think they are. The older my kids get the more I lean towards there interest my daughter is an artsy girl who loves music, she’s 6 and will be getting something leaning towards kidz bop for Christmas but at that age I def get her some good head phones

Just because you have other children and can’t afford expensive gifts for them does not mean the father of one of your children should down size his gift so it’s fair to kids that aren’t even his….In my eyes this is selfish on your end. Be thankful her father is buying his daughter a gift and it’s clearly something she wants.


Just make sure she keeps them up, it’s a little expensive for my taste but hey, if he wants to buy them then why not?

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If you can afford it teach them to.
My son’s been mowing yards and selling lemonade since he was 13 my daughter sells lotion and jewelery since she was 8. My son just paid for his first iphone I never could afford. NOTHING is out of reach if you back their dreams.

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He should be able to buy whatever he feels like buying for his daughter. You’ve gotta explain to the others that she’s older and her dad got them for her. My oldest gets expensive things and my younger kids don’t but they know why…

My ex (older kids dad) got my then 10 year old AirPod pros and I didn’t see an issue with it. He spent the money, not me.

I understand what you’re asking and I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to ask it. If she’s gonna be walking around showing em off in front of your kids I would make the same request. I don’t think it’s a punishment, either. Maybe it’s better to receive them for her birthday is what I would suggest. I always try to keep the spending around the same for everyone, it’s not always possible but it’s worth a shot. He could also give her the money with the intent to buy them herself (probably even would be a good lesson, for both). It’s a fine line your wobbling on but I understand what you’re asking and I can relate. XXXOOO and best wishes

My 9 yr old wants them and might get them for Christmas. I’ve been talking with her about the responsibility they take. Explain the gift came from her dad. Not you. He should be able to make that choice. If it doesn’t work out it’s his money his loss. If the responsibility becomes too much and there’s a fuss over it, keep them at his house. But I wouldn’t deny her the gift.

We just got my stepdaughter a $1,300 laptop our other kids are getting ipads worth half the price

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I understand what the mom is saying but I have to agree with all these other moms. If that’s his only child he can buy her what she wants. He’s not responsible for your other children if their not his so maybe you could have her open them at his house when he has her so it won’t be done in front of the other kids. If you not with him anymore I don’t see why he said anything to you to begin with he should do his thing and you do yours.

It’s his gift for his child and it’s his choice. She should not be deprived because your other children aren’t going to receive gifts of the same value or kind.


Yes. She wants them and he wants to buy them. It’s not her fault that the other kids aren’t able to have the same kind of present. And it’s not her fault.

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I’d be happy with the heads up tbh…could of been a surprise on the day, if you feel that strongly about it maybe see if you can find similar but cheaper price for the others so none had to miss out

Does she deserve them?? Thats the question. As kids get older their wants get more expensive so make sure she deserves what your spending your money on.

I think a parent has the right to buy any gift they want for their child :woman_shrugging:


I don’t understand people. You have time to post on fb but can’t look up ways to make extra money so all of your children can have a nice Christmas. Instead you want to punish you daughter because her father can afford to buy expensive gifts . You have 3 months before Christmas, I would suggest looking for additional income !


i mean if he’s getting them for her i don’t see the issue. That’s what he wants to get y’all’s daughter for Christmas. If they get lost or broken then she doesn’t get more unless he decides to replace them.
He doesn’t have to change his gift just because your other kids that are not his are not getting something equally expensive or the same. They will be from her dad.
Beats are head phones to listen to music and videos, so i’d say they are age appropriate for a 12 year old. Kids with siblings need a sense of individuality, meaning all of your kids don’t all have to have the same thing and they shouldn’t have to share every single thing either.
He’s not getting her something harmful or something that’s not age appropriate, so it shouldn’t be a argument, also she probably really wants them cause she probably has friends at school you have them or are getting them and she wants to feel included.

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Beats are still a thing? I thought everything was wireless and or AirPods. lol.  But anyway, if he wants to spend the money then by all means, let him but just make her aware that if she loses them, she will not get another pair.

My mom got us some when I was 14. My sister was 13. I loved them but she turned around and pawned them while she was still making payments and never got them out of pawn shop.

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Not really your choice, the other parent is allowed to buy a gift for the child you SHARE. You don’t get to decide whether or not they deserve to keep a gift like that. It would be totally unfair and nasty.


Guess what it’s his choice on what to get her for Christmas and you don’t have a say in it. If he wants to get them for her then he can. Your other kids are not his problem at all only his daughter is.

It’s time to stop being bitter and petty or your bitterness and pettiness will end up biting you in the behind and it’s going to affect your guys daughter in the end.

If you think it’s unfair cause it’s expensive and your other children won’t have expensive stuff that’s your fault not his and definitely not your daughters fault.

Be grateful your daughters father is even able to afford something like that and is involved in her life

I gave my son beats for his 12th birthday. They were in sale and he loves them and wears them to this day…

His money, his choice. But also, what the heck is a “beat”? Because I know you don’t mean the vegetable. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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No skin off your nose. Let him buy them. Let them be lost. Let every one learn a lesson. Just because he says he’s going to get them!!! Time will work it out. You should not stress over this. :heart::heart::heart:

Don’t matter what you think. Be happy he is in her life and willing to buy her things. What he buys her is his business.

Sounds like you are just not wanting her to have them because of the other kids not getting something equal. You can’t be like that. If her dad wants to spoil her, he should :woman_shrugging:t2: Those other kids he doesn’t have to think about.

It’s his kid too. You don’t have absolute control over everything. If her room stays a mess, you don’t stay on her enough to keep up with it.

Waste of money. She’ll lose them. Get something more practical or something such as concert tickets that she’ll treasure forever.

I understand where you are coming from. But you can’t be jealous for your children. They will be jealous on their own or not. And you as the parent will have to show them how to channel those emotions with them. Your children have different fathers. It is what it is. My ex buys these extravagant gifts for my son. Nothing I can do. Not my place to tell him how to spend his money. If my children don’t take care of their things. Then they won’t be getting anymore gifts like that anymore. Not until they learn how to take responsible care of their own belongings.

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It’s his money to waste. Maybe she keeps them as his then they’re less likely to get broken in her pit of a room? At the end of the day, absent parents are rarely considerate to the other children and half the time it’s to be spiteful towards the main parent, and if if gets damaged it gets damaged! Tell him fine but if anything happens to then you don’t want to know, he was warned, he is not to have a go at you or expect you to replace

If he is the one buying them then whats the problem? Your other children are not his concern it’s not his fault you had more :woman_shrugging:t3: what he buys his daughter is his business and he has every right to buy her whatever he wants no matter the money amount.

This reminds me of the lady who wanted her ex to buy all of her kids McDonald’s when he bought his kid McDonald’s.

Your other kids not getting something as expensive as the beats :headphones: isn’t your ex’s problem if he’s not the father of those kids. You can’t control what he chooses to buy for his child. It’s his money, his child. Also, I think it’s important that we teach our kids to be realistic in life. You should be honest with them about how parents provide Christmas for them, not Santa. Maybe that will help them understand when they don’t get the same thing’s as their other sibling who has a different parent. I also can’t help but to feel as if you’re jealous because he’s buying her nice things. If you want nicer things for you and your children, you have to go harder!

I did get both of my kids beats when they were young. They used them all the time.

Just like he can’t tell you what you can and can’t buy for her, you can’t do that to him. It’s his money. His responsibility is to his child, not your other children.

This is like that McDonald’s video that was staged and went viral…

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I would be fine with it. My daughter got hers when she was 12.

If it’s a waste, then it’s a waste. No harm, no foul.

Some kids just aren’t mature enough for such luxuries. Maybe neither is your daughter.

The older kids get the more expensive their gifts are so I don’t blame him.

What your ex buys your shared child for Christmas isn’t really up to you. I had nice headphones by then, probably the only nice thing I kept care of cause I used them every day lol

It does have something to do with you if they are going to be in your house. If it’s for her when at dad’s none of your business. If it’s shared where she goes yes. I’d just tell the father not an issue but she is going to have rules with them at our house or they well be put up all the time and only let down for school work. If he disagrees, I’d just simply state you’d prefer then left with him when his daughter is there. My kids got rules with 120$ tablets let alone 300$ headphones.

Just make sure she understands that they are something she has to take care of. You’re not having to pay so :woman_shrugging:t2:

His money . Let him do what he wants :woman_shrugging:t3: if she’s irresponsible then that’s on her.
And I dont think it matters cost but more of as long as each kid gets what they truly love / need

My kid had them younger than 12.

Let him get them, if it’s what she wants :smiley: he shouldn’t have to get something else just because your kids won’t get, she’s his kid, she probably wanted them to!

If it is her father, I would say he can buy them for his house.

If its just your ex and not her dad, then its your choice he doesnt have a say

I have no idea what beats are. I thought this was a joke and you really were meaning to say beets at first. :woman_facepalming:t3::sweat_smile:

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First off, none of your business what her other parent (your ex) gets your JOINT child for Christmas…

If her dad wants to get them yes my daughter got them from an uncle for her 8th birthday . I don’t see a problem

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They can be kept at his house, especially since she isn’t responsible.

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