That’s really not your call what he gets her!
I’m getting my oldest a gaming system for Christmas this year and it’s wayyy more than what my youngest will get. It’s just how it works sometimes.
Let the dad get them if they get lost or broken it’s not you’re fault ( if dad blames you) tell him you told him so .
I had 1 kid with one guy and 2 with another ( be thankful he wants to spend money on her mine went to the dollar store and bought my kids Christmas gifts 
.
People make it so hard to come to this page to ask for advice. Impossible just to give your advice without “you sound bitter and petty” comments 
As mentioned in previous comments I would ask him to mark the beats as from him and not from Santa (I do this with more expensive gifts for my children anyway). And maybe ask him to consider giving them to her on their own time together or maybe if he’s shipping it he could consider sending it a little late as to prevent your other children from feeling some type of way. Having multiple dads to coparent with is hard during the holidays I think. Good luck to you!
Let him buy her what he wants. It doesn’t matter the cost. If the gift is from him for Christmas and not Santa then what’s the issue? She will forever get things your other children that aren’t his don’t and that is life. I’ve never told either of my children’s father’s they can’t get something.
You should not even need advice from a Facebook group about this. Why would anyone stop their child’s father from giving them a gift period? Do you realize gow many women there are out there complaining because their child’s father won’t even buy them a pack of diapers…count your blessings and let that child have her beets!
You can buy some that look similar depending the other children’s age. They’ll never know like I said depending age. If he wants to get those then let him and when they get lost you already had that feeling.
As kids if someone got a more expensive gift that was the gift they got nothing else. It helped keep things fair and very expensive gifts were always from a person never Santa.
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I would not allow them in my home at that age. They are way to expensive for a child imo. If he insists make him keep them there. I personally wouldn’t spend that kind of money to let the item go to the other parents to get lost or broken. My kids are much older and I still refuse.
Get your kid what they want for Christmas! Seriously, who cares how much you spend on gifts for each kid. They should be grateful they get gifts because I know plenty of kids who don’t get anything.
Honestly, get Galaxy earbuds instead. I’ve had so many issues with Beats 
If your older kids didn’t ask for them…that’s on them not you or her lol
I literally have no reason for you to say no. And it’s not
Your choice
Your not paying for them
He told you so you didn’t buy any
She’s happy and excited
The end
The only issue I see is why wouldn’t the other kids have gifts of equal value? They really aren’t that expensive. I would get them for my 12 yo.
Last year our son got a goldendoodle, a few PS5 games, a V10 power wheel, an iPhone, AirPods, Apple Watch, an air hockey table, a Rams jersey, chromebook, and a few other sports items. I’d say Beats are very appropriate.
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At least he wants to spend money on his daughter. My ex has never bought our daughter a gift of any sort. First Christmas (2016) he was with his new girlfriend/fiancee they bought gifts for her 3 kids but nothing for our daughter. She came home feeling worthless and still does to this day.
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Now I want to read the McDonald’s post that I obviously missed:thinking: could someone please fill me in, because that one sounds interesting?!
If her father wants to get him for her then it’s not your place to say he can’t. It’s his money. I got beats and an ipod for Christmas when I was 12.
It’s really not that much to make a fuss about? It’s a Xmas gift right?.. Yeah there expensive but if u can afford em than why not… & you never know things gifted or from a special 1 tend to hold more value, but each to their own:blush:
It’s not fair that he has to adjust his gift giving around what you can afford for your other children. That’s just not his responsibility. If it was reversed would you still feel the same way? You’re gonna have to get over this one.
If he wants to he can. If she loses them or breaks them. Her fault. Don’t blame it on having other kids. I got my oldest a nintendo switch one year. & the others just got toys & what not. They all get what they want.
My bonus son is 13 and has apple air pods and he keeps up with them.
If he wants to get his daughter them, you should allow it.
I mean I don’t see why it would matter to you if she breaks or loses them, since you won’t be the one paying for them. Just sounds like you may be grasping for reasons because you feel bad about not being able to provide more expensive gifts for your other kids. Which is understandable, but he has the right to gift them her and I don’t feel like it’s fair to not let her have something someone else is providing because you’re not able to do the same. Just ask him to let her open it while she’s with him so it isn’t in front of the other kids.
I can never understand why a child who’s father wants to buy her pretty and cool things has to suffer because of the mother’s other children… It sounds harsh but it’s not his responsibility nor his problem in regards to your other children. If he wants to spend money on his child let him do it.
In all honesty if I was the father I’d make sure my daughter recieves her present through myself and no one else so she knows that Dad bought her a present
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Not really up to you. What other kids? Kids that aren’t his?
I’m not sure how this would be his issue or a reason why he cannot provide his child a pricy gift.
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He should be able to get them for if he wants
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What she gets from Her dad has absolutely nothing to do with your other children. She should clean and so on I agree but as for your other children that is really irrelevant.
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My daughter is almost 11 and she got rose gold ones for Christmas last year.
Yea but she needs to be taught to care for them properly. Also the cost doesn’t matter as long as the other children have gifts that mean something to them.
So because u can’t get them for ur other children, he can’t get them for his? That doesn’t seem fair! He doesn’t need to ask even… maybe start saving now so u can get them for ur others…
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If the other kids ain’t got shit to do with the ones dad then no and even if it were the same dad it’s based on age. If it’s something you can’t match then ask for more child support lol
Maybe tell him they can stay at his house if he is buying them? That was you won’t be responsible if they get lost or broken?
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Its not up to you what ex buys your daughter for Christmas.
That’s his kid 
if he wants to buy her beats then that’s what he’s gonna buy for HIS KID
Have him keep them at his house if you don’t agree with them.
Your not in control of what her father gets her. And it’s not his fault the others won’t. Plus she’s 12 and probably always listening to music also let go and stop trying to control him. You are the asshole
Okay I’m old but what are beats???
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You’re not paying for them…why do you even care:woozy_face:
I think that’s very selfish of u actually
DTA!!! If dad wants to buy, let him buy…. It’s his child too and if he wants to, let him
It isn’t your ex’s responsibility to worry about competing with what your other kids have to open. He’s buying it for her. You don’t get an opinion.
Welllll, Im old. I was thinking beets until you said they were expensive. 
but if HE wants to get them let him. And you get what is in your budget for you.
Ok just curious what are beats? I gusse I am not update with what’s kids like 
If you get her something that expensive she has less gifts. Spend the same on them.
Yesssss you’re the AH!!! In no world should you stop her father from gifting her something just because you essentially dont want her to have it
Its costs you nothing if she does end up breaking it or whatever you’re not even giving her a chance but who cares if she does break something that was gifted to HER it sounds like youd be smug and happy if she did tho
Gurl fix yo self lol
Shes a teenager it’s totally acceptable.
Your at this point just making up excuses as to why she shouldn’t bc your others cant. Thats not right morally nor fair to her that shes missing out on what her father can provide.
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I coparent with my daughters dad she’s almost 5. And he’s gotten her a Hoover board and some other expensive gifts but we agreed to leave it at his house she also lives with him and I get her on my days off and weekends but we agreed on that and she doesn’t bring that stuff over because she has a lil brother and she said she doesn’t wanna make him upset. Now they both have bikes and scooters at my house and she has hers as well at dads but if he buys her something expensive that stays at his house.
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I think it’s appropriate it not the amount you spend on someone it’s the thought that matters
Your ex can do whatever he wants and since it sounds like he’s not the one raising her, they buy way more to compensate
Have her open them on her own without the other kids maybe.
I think it’s acceptable but last yr I got my 10yr old some $50 earbuds and she lost one within months and now she’s doesn’t use them at all because she doesn’t wanna stay on top of charging them. This Christmas she’s asking for wireless OVER THE EAR headphones and she mentioned beats but I got her some nice JBL ones that were $60 instead Of over $100. Cause if she loses them or doesn’t charge them I won’t be as mad lol
It’s her father and he should be able to purchase any gift he wants for her . It is not your daughters fault or her dads fault you cant get your other children nice gifts like that. You are truly being selfish
It’s really not your business what he buys her for Christmas, within reason of course.
Yes, as long as he earns them.
When I buy for my kids I just make sure they get the same amount of presents each not the same amount of money in presents 
If her dad wants to buy her beats he gets to buy her beats. If your kids from someone else won’t be getting gifts like that, that’s not to fault your ex. Doesn’t matter if her room is cleaned or not, sounds like excuses because you aren’t getting your other kids something fluke that.
Of thats what be wants to get her why not? Other kids aren’t his nor his responsibilities to not get his child a $$ gift because you can’t afford to get your other children a $$ gift.
I don’t know what part of this post to yikes first
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Have her leave them at his house to use while she’s there
Maybe make it something she opens at his house but he can totally buy her whatever he wants
We got our kids Beats 3 years ago… ages 12 and 9
You sound really jealous of your daughter that she has a relationship with her father and it’s just f*cking sad. This is a big yikes and you need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror and read this post while you do. I cannot believe you even said that in your post.
That’s ugly. How dare u punish ur daughter cause ur other children father n u r not able to provide such a gift. How dare u deny him the pleasure of Doing for his child. Petty much!?
A very normal gift for a 12 year old. Not his issue that you can’t get that for your kids
Kids don’t care about the price of gifts, parents care about the price of gifts
If they are not showing small responsibility it will be much harder to take it away offer to pay half and she earn the n other half if she breaks it she never gers another one
She should get the beats
I got them for Christmas when I was around the same age 
My rule with my mixed family is as long as it is given/opened at their dads house that’s fine. I don’t accept gifts or cards sent to the house on holidays unless it’s for all the kids. If they get it there and bring it home that’s fine.
Side note: thought you originally asked if a 12 year old should get beat. I’m like hmmm I mean sometimes I wanna slap the sh!t outta my 12 year old but beating may be a little excessive
What would you prefer him get her then? I understand your concern for her room being messy…
A. He’s her father and therefore it’s his RIGHT to buy his child whatever he feels like for Christmas and birthdays so long as it age appropriate and B. It’s not his fault your other children don’t get expensive gifts
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hes the FATHER!!! LET HIM SHOW HIS DAUGHTER THAT HE LOVES HER ON CHRISTMAS!!
Woman just are never happy. They complain when the dad doesn’t wanna be a dad and be active in their kids lives but also complain when the dad wants to buy their kid something nice for Christmas. Just. Be. Grateful.
Yep, that’s his daughter too. If he wants to waste his money that’s his business. As for the other children, that is a good opportunity to teach them how to deal with emotions like jealousy in a healthy manner. We shouldn’t be shielding our kids from negative emotions. That’s how you get a generation of people that have the emotional range of a tea spoon. Just like our parents were raised with not enough empathy which made them indifferent af. Their parents were raised like servants and now they’re selfish as hell. Stop the cycle, teach them how to deal with shit.
and let dad spoil his kid. That isn’t your business what happens to them, it’s his money to waste.
So this post could have TWO very different answers
FIRST - If the other children aren’t his, then what’s the matter with her dad wanting to buy his own child an expensive Xmas present? I mean they are headphones & at 12, I’m sure there’s nothing more a 12 year old girl wants. They start getting into music at that age, why punish your daughter because you and then other children’s father can’t afford to get them something?
Make sure it’s from him and not Santa. Problem solved.
SECOND - if he IS the father to your other children, yeah it’s a shit go. I try and spend equal amounts on all my children. My 11 year old doesn’t get AS much as his siblings, he knows Santa isn’t real & understands his crap cost more. So we just deal with that.
I have a 6 year old son with my ex husband. He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend. Any gifts that he receives from me, stay here at home. Any gifts he gets from his dad, stay over there. Sometimes he’ll take one thing back and forth if he has permission, but we don’t combine our gifts for him. I have an older daughter who’s dad has never been in the picture, and although she isn’t my ex’s responsibility, he will still buy her one gift for her birthday and one for Xmas. Neither her nor I have ever asked or expected him to, he just does and I would do the same if it were the other way around.
Keep them at his house
Eh it’s kinda whatever tbh. It’s his money he wants to spend? Maybe check to see what you can do for your other kids to make it closer to being fair
You’re just worried your other kids will be jealous it’s not about if a 12 year old should have an expensive gift
If it is his money he should be able to get her what he wants. It isnt your problem if they get lost/broken, just explain to her they are hers to keep up with and you wont be repairing/replacing them if they end up that way. You cant really dictate what she can and cant get from the other parent as long as it isnt unsafe or inappropriate.
How are you going to tell your ex what to buy for his child? Some people!
I mean I get it…but it’s not his fault your other kids won’t have something that expensive. They are headphones they aren’t something mega special, just pricey. I understand she is messy and you don’t think she deserves them, but it’s not up to you.r You’re mom, make he clean her room, if she doesn’t, you can dish out the consequences as you see fit, if that means taking them away until she cleans up, so be it. Some battles are worth fighting, I don’t believe this is one of those.
You wanna be your child’s first hater? That’s how you’re acting.
So are you saying no because she’s irresponsible or because your other kids don’t have an expensive gift?
It’s HIS Child. The other kids are NOT his responsibility. Just tell them it’s from HER dad. Not THEIR dad.
You’re an a$$! Not everything will be fair or always equal. It’s his gift for her.
Sounds like something that can stay at his house.
Buy cheaper ones ? They’re going to get lost, broken or stolen…
All 3 of my kids have them. 13, 13, & 15… so yes. It’s a popular thing.
Yes…if the are responsible with their things
He’s your ex and can buy his kids whatever he wants
Personally I’d make sure the child knows they are from him and not santa
Why would you limit your daughter like that? It isn’t about the expense of things and what her dad gets her has nothing to do with your other children. If you really feel the need to make it about money, then get the kids something more expensive. If you can’t, be grateful he’s doing for his daughter.
His kid, his money, his gifts.
The issue about them possibly being broken is one that her father (and the kid) may have to learn the hard way.
He could keep them at his house? Then he can’t blame you if they get broken or go missing.
If I were you I would appreciate her dad getting her something nice instead of dollars stuff. Explain to the other kids about her dad buying this so they won’t think your making differences. You can’t punish your daughter for what her dad gives her. That’s very inconsiderate and probably gets your daughter from distancing herself from you.
If the father wants to get them that for Christmas it’s not his responsibility to accomodate your other kids
If her father wants to buy them for her then they need to stay at his house and she can use them at his house only no where else
My 12 year old got $250 skull candy headphones last year for christmas… I bought them for her… they are just headphones and she uses them every day. She could be asking for much worse pick and choose your battles 
So…what color beats is she getting?!
I hope there’s a pretty bow on the package!
You sound ridiculous. He isn’t responsible for YOUR other kids that AREN’T his.
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