Should a middle schooler have a bedtime?

Would you be okay with your middle schooler choosing their own bed time? My husbands seems to think he can make his own rules about when he goes to bed but I think he should go to bed by 8;…when do your middle schoolers go to bed?


Yeah for simple fact they probably would stay up all night playing game or whatever then be cranky and fall asleep in class…

My middle schooler doesn’t really have a bedtime, depending on after school activities it could be 10pm and sometimes she’s exhausted and bed finds her at 8pm :woman_shrugging:
On the norm though I would say 8pm is probably a bit too early- however preteens need sleep

my 5th grader goes to bed at 830, usually is asleep by 9, 930 at the latest if shes having a tough time falling asleep & is up at 545-6am.
They need their sleep.

8 is honestly early. Mine go to bed at 930

Ours do, they have to be in bed at 9 and tv off at 9:30


We’ve always done 6th grade 9PM, 7th grade 9:30PM and 8th grade 10PM. But we have multiple kids and wanted to stagger showers and chaos.


My daughter is 14 and in school sports… she has practice every day right after school (4 pm) until 6:30, we don’t get home until almost 7… her having an 8 bedtime would mean she doesn’t have time for dinner, shower and homework… she is in bed by 10:30. She also isn’t a little kid anymore and deserves a bit of freedom (staying up a bit later). :woman_shrugging: And that schedule doesn’t include away games which can be over an hour away…

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8?? Sometimes we were not in the house by 8 o’clock

My 5th grader (11 y/o) has no bed time and has never. He is very responsible for his age and most nights he’s in bed by 9 anyways. Our rule is the first time he doesn’t get up in time on his own he gets a bed time. In all these years he gets up to his own alarm clock and gets him self ready for school before I get up. I feel it taught him to know his body on his own and he makes sure he gets his sleep.

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9/930 but there are nights it’s 730 because the exhaustion catches up with her!

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10pm for my 12 year old. My 15 year old goes in his room with no internet access at 10, but usually stays up. My 17 year old is pretty independent and has a job, he makes his own choices, but he is responsible for his actions including keeping his grades up and being respectful and having self control

My girls have a bed time. Younger is in her room by 9 and older by 930 gives her a bit of time then her phone loses everything at 10 just in case but many times they have both been down and out by 9.

Yes my middle schooler has a bedtime because she has to wake up super early.

She has to be in bed by 10.

My elementary schoolers have to be in bed by 8:30

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My 1st grader 7 years old bedtime is 8. My 2 8th graders 14 years old they are to go to bed at 9. They do stay up until 10 1030 but they must be quiet and in their rooms.

8pm mine have to be in their beds. That doesn’t mean I expect them to fall asleep at that time.

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On school days my 6th grader has a 9:30 bedtime. She needs her sleep and isn’t great about recognizing that fact.

My 6th grader goes to bed when he wants (usually by 10pm) but also sets his own alarm and wakes up himself. I’ve never had an issue with him getting up so I continue to let him go to bed when he wants.

Yes to a bedtime…8 is early, but I guess it depends on when they need to wake up.

We like to have our kids in bed and relaxing by 9 they don’t fall asleep at that time but they are winding down.

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All my kids have to be ready for bed and in their room by 8:30/9. I need some quiet time too :grimacing:

I have 2 middle schoolers and they have to be in bed at 11. They get themselves up for school with no issues.

My kids were in bed at 9 until high school then it was 10

I like my middle schooler to be in bed by 8. He’s a jerk in the morning if he doesn’t get enough sleep😂 if yours can be functional & maintain chores it shouldn’t be an issue

Only if they’re choosing to go to bed early enough lol. That’s how it’s been for my bonus son since he was 12. If he can get up to his alarm, be on time and alert, keep his grades up etc we don’t tell him when to go to bed unless they’re trying to get back on a schedule. He’s almost 15 and I recently had to talk to him about going to bed by 10 so when he gets up at 630 he’s had about 8 hrs of sleep. He was saying he’s been feeling depressed so before we dope him up with meds I said let’s make sure all your biological physical needs are met. Enough sleep, water/food/nutrients, some excersise/outdoor time (walking to school 3 days a week) and joining a couple clubs after school for some social interaction.

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I would say for middle school,
if grades are good, they get themself up and ready for school with no problems then no problem being 10-11.
I taught my kids if you want to stay up and hang out late you still have to get up the next morning and handle your responsibilities. If you can’t do that then you have to go to bed earlier.

9pm is more reasonable for middle school. And no, leaving the bedtime up to the kid is stupid.

At least let them try to regulate themselves

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9.00pm in bed… however TV gets shut off at 10 most of the time it’s already off.