Your super petty after she let you use her address to keep the kids in that school district.
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She should be happy she on the paperwork period cuz if it was me remarried or not she will not be on my kids shit period it’s always me my mom and their dad whatever she used to get the kid in the school should just be her helping out her BOYFRIEND she has no legit ties to the kid’s besides their father and they haven’t even been together long enough for her to be upset that you corrected it and crossed out step mom……
If I trust her with my kids we’re good. It takes a village. However, we all would have to know her longer than 9 months imo.
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If they’re not legally married then absolutely not! 9 months is not long enough.
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Im going through this same thing, my ex of 6 years has a gf and calls herself “stepmom”. I made it very clear that until they are married she is not his stepmom and it started a whole big thing. My son that is 9 even asked of he could call her mom, like hell to the no! 
Maybe it is petty but that is my opinion on it.There is going to have to be give and take but she needs to respect your boundaries as well coming in as a “co” parent!
Petty or not, your kids. Your choice. My ex-husband and I didn’t add our significant others until we knew for sure they were sticking around. 
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They are not married so hell no. She is not step mom after 9 months of dating 
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Piece of paper doesn’t mean anything. That’s super petty.
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If they haven’t been together long term fuck no
It’s a little petty but I understand. The pettiness comes from you writing “friend”. I agree she is not their stepmother but she’s also not just a friend. I think crossing it out and addressing her as “fathers girlfriend” would be sufficient. This is what we did for myself. I then transitioned to “fathers fiancé” and now I’m “stepmom”
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She is a hooker or hook up not a mother.
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I have my boyfriend listed as an emergency contact because we will be living together in the next few weeks (been dating over a year). It’s marked as friend / lives with student, since we aren’t married I didn’t feel it is right to list it as step parent. There wasn’t an option on the school forms for boyfriend (everything was done online this year). But yea I would have just left it as it was, because when it boils down to it, she is a part of their life and it really shouldn’t be a battle over whether she does or doesn’t get the title.
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She’s not step-mom but not just a friend. It was disrespectful. You could’ve listed her as his GF or partner, but noooo. 
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I’m a stepmom here. And the way you behave would make me stop doing as much for the kids. If I’m not gonna be treated and respected then I’d step back. I was once the “stripper Girlfriend” and I did alot. Guess what we didn’t marry till last year and their biological mom still put me down as Stepmom because she saw my worth. You sound petty and spiteful.
It’s called a step mom- someone that steps up and chooses to love a child they didn’t have to. Not a married mom
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Omg, they both can get over it. She’s not his wife yet nor have they’ve been in a long-term relationship for her to be considered anything other than “dad’s girlfriend”.
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It’s no from me…and im glad my ex respects my opinion and agrees with who carries the title of being a parent. Ita great to have the new gf as a role model and helper but they are NOT THE STEP MOM. My two older kids have half brothers and there father is not called STEP dad and nor does he make it a big deal about it… good lord. It’s sounds like she’s looking for intitlement and demanding some type of respect in the family because of the position she holds (what ever that means). it doesn’t work like that. It feels inauthentic and lady you need to put your foot down stop letting ppl walk all over you.
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If she helped you get those kids into that school…It was wrong for you to do that. Sounds like she wants a good relationship,but you want to be perry about it. Call her the stepmom and try to be friends with her. When someone helps you out…you dont stab them in the back. Return the favor instead of acting bitter,bc that is what you come off as when do that. What does it matter what she lists herself as as long as she is willing to help out and get the kids from school and stuff if you need her to do it or vise versa?
Yaaaaa as a “step mom” myself (by marriage only, the kids haven’t given it to me yet so that’s why the quotes) I wouldn’t even THINK about being on school paperwork unless we had been together 3 - 5 years and 1 - 2 of those years we’ve been married. That’s reserved for people you KNOW are gonna be around a long time if not for the rest of our lives.
I hate how people just steal these titles when they are meant to be a gift a child gives you.
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Haven’t been together a year and not married so, no she shouldn’t be considered as such.
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I’ve been with my significant other for 5 years and 3 months. The kids refer to me as their stepmom and know it as a whole as to why she’s their mom, hes dad, I’m “stepmom” and her significant other she was with for 3 years was their “step dad”. But we were all ok with whatever and they know true correct terms and also know my name and are able to call me mom or by my name.
Nope! She’s not their stepmom till you marry her. She’s just a girlfriend. My boyfriend of a year isn’t on my son’s school paperwork at all and we live together.
Extremely disrespectful. Especially if they’re living together. You’ll always be the mother. Nothing can change that. But being petty over that is super unnecessary. Sounds like you still have feelings for him or feel some kind of jealousy.
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The literal only thing this affects is your feelings, otherwise it means nothing. Petty, in my opinion.
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I am on my sons (not married to his father) but we have been together 5 years and I’ve practically raised him since he was a year an half. His mother only sees him 1 a year if that.
1, she can be step mom all she wants off paper until they are on paper. I wouldn’t even put her on a school list because than she can pick them up whenever. You don’t know her, she could be crazy. 2, maybe put her down as father’s s/o until you guys can get to know each other abit more and try and get along for the children. Than when you feel like theyve been together long enough she can go on the paper. Is the father going to do that with every girlfriend he has.
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My daughters fathers gf puts her self down on school sports doctors papers ect she is the stepmom in my eyes she is not a stepmom until they are married
I would have marked her whole name out lol, only bios go on school paperwork in my opinion. I’m both SM and BM and I do NOT want to be on skids school paperwork and don’t understand why steps (married or not) would want to. That’s bio parents only, steps don’t even have legal rights 
No they haven’t been together long enough for her to be step mom and they are not married if they were together a long time then I could see her being put down as step mom
It may be different legally where you are, but unless she legally adopts or you give permission for them to have certain responsibilities, she won’t be able to even pick up from school so don’t worry about it. It’s probably good the school know it’s step-mom rather than just family friend as its easier to say no.
And how does it affect your life since everything about you?
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If it’s a long term relationship or they are married then yes as she’s a stepmom. Not for a girlfriend of such a short time.
No she shouldn’t be listed as step mum because they aren’t married but she also shouldn’t be classed as ‘friend’ she’s his girlfriend /partner and thats what you should’ve put on the form at least that way if for some reason the school couldn’t get hold of you or your partner they’d know they could get in touch with him via her having her just as friend they may not know that they could contact her to be able to get through to the kids dad. Id say you’ve been petty here tbh
You are ok… I’ve been with my SO almost 11 years and don’t think I was ever put on my bonus child’s school records…
Its something that’s earned not given… The kids need to have a good report with her for them on their own to call her that… It can’t be forced. Its earned. With time it will get to that point but it definitely doesn’t happen over night…
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Not only disrespectful but not safe. I work in a hospital and there is a LOT of difference in “girlfriend” and “wife” when it comes to children. Unless they are legally married regardless of length of relationship, they are not able to have the child seen. I feel this would be similar with school on who is allowed to be contacted and such. He will get over it and so will she
She isn’t legally their stepmother and shouldn’t be put on official school paperwork as such.
It’s not offensive. It’s a lie.
If she is somebody who helps care for your children and may be responsible for pick ups and drop offs at times then what the title on the paper is means nothing just that the school knows they are a safe person. Sounds like you’re more worried about the title and less about the actual situation
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No marriage, no title.
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All the people saying “petty”. Lmao. No baby, it’s not petty. It doesn’t .after what she did to get those kids at the school, you don’t use kids as ammo to hurt another adult. So ex husbands GIRLFRIEND, Not stepmom, either did what she did because she wanted to be genuine and kind to the kiddos OR she did it bc she wanted to have some ammunition when things get out of her control. She isn’t step mom until they’re married. Some of you are too comfortable just letting anyone pick up your kids. I wouldn’t let that woman pick them up without written or verbal confirmation from MOM.
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It seems petty, it didn’t hurt you in anyway. You made a problem where there wasn’t one.
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9 months? Id have a problem with it to
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No, she shouldn’t be listed as their step mom. I wouldn’t want her on my kids paper work at all. They haven’t even been together that long. I definitely wouldn’t want her being able to pick the kids up from school.
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My daughters father and his gf ain’t married and I have no problem with her calling herself her stepmom…married or not I am beyond grateful she accepts my child as her stepchild instead of not acknowledging her at all, or looking at her as “just someone else’s kid” …(if that makes sense) lol but in saying that everyone is different and have their own opinions so as your child’s momma you do what you feel is best! 
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They’re not married and only been together for a short time so you have every right to be upset. She has no legal authority for your kids and I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with her on the school paperwork and able to go get your kids whenever she likes. You need to sit down with both of them and explain that when it comes to the kids it’s YOU (the mom) or him (the dad) should be the only ones should be on the school papers.
Who knows they might not even be together in a few more months.
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My sons dads current gf is not listed on the “parents” section of anything
But she is listed as a person who is allowed to pick him up from school
She is not their step mom until they are married. She can be listed as an emergency contact after parents if you both agree.
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Definitely not petty. I personally would not want his girlfriend having the authority to come get me kids while they’re in school. They haven’t been together long enough for you to know and trust her like that. You made the right choice.
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Better put a ring on with license to get a title.
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Get over it that is not hurting you in anyway …you’re jealous
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No I didn’t list my other half as my kids stepdad until we were married and we were together 5 years before we got married
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If she looks after those kids like her own, washes , dresses , feeds , loves , then why shouldn’t she be addressed as a stepmother if she does everything their mother would do when in her care… marriage means nothing if she loves the children like her own …
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Legally, if they are not married she isn’t their stepmother and has no rights. If ex isn’t happy, the answer is to marry her. If girlfriend isn’t happy, oh well.
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She did a favor for putting in a word for your waiver for your kids to stay at a good school. What is the big deal? The more ppl to love my kids the better:pray:
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I suggest being confident in the fact that your the mother(so dont get stuck on a title) be thankful she cares enough about your daughter to want to be a step mother and goes out of her way to help you, I just feel like this is petty. My now husband was listed as a step father for 2 years before we married, just so he could pick her up, go to daddy daughter dances, be active in her life and help me out as a working mom, her father currently just married and I wouldn’t have cared if my daughter called her mom, so long as she takes care of her and treats her like her own I’m not in any way threatened by her, I won’t care if she decides to call a friends mom mom or whoever, because guess what? I popped that baby out, I’m there for her when she needs me, I raise her, I’ll fight with her come her teenage years and even when she decides to go live with her father and her step mom(as most do at some point, grass is always greener) I’ll be there, we will have mother daughter dates, girls night and just things to let her know I still care. A title shouldn’t matter to you. Be worried about your relationship and not s ok much your daughter’s relationship with a new woman figure in her life, your ex’s girlfriend is teaching her that you dont have to be blood to love a child, even if it’s for a short time
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If the kids dont call her stepmom then she shouldnt be labeled as such on anything regarding them
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Well, she’s NOT their stepmom, sooo…
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Legally no, but is she caring for kids? I would imagine if she got them into the school they’re staying in, her and dad are pretty serious. I think not calling her their step mom is a jealousy thing. You should let it go and support your kids having another parent to love them
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I put my ex’s girlfriend down on all our sons paperwork, Dr, school, etc. She loves our boy like he’s her own and she is the mom to him at his daddy’s that he needs. Granted, at 9 months into their relationship I wasn’t ready for all of that, but she’s proven to be worthy of my trust and love for her. They might not be married but she is still step momma and plays a very important role. You have every right to feel how you feel though, it’s your situation and every situation is different.
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Bro why you really mad tho 
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This is petty af. You don’t get to decide who her stepmother is. Marriage doesn’t mean crap. If she cares for the kid and helps them with stuff she is their stepmother. Get over yourself and stop being that mom
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She legally isn’t their step mother yet so shouldn’t be documented on school paper work as such. I put my husband as my oldest 2 girls step father on their school paper work and I had to provide our marriage certificate to the school to show that we were legally married
They wouldn’t be considered common law in Canada for 3 years I believe. Perhaps her as an emergency contact as dad’s partner is a better terminology until they are legally married
Until I was legally my step sons step mom, I was listed as other on his paperwork.
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I’m a step mom I would rather be put down as an emergency than a lie I mean schools have to have court order copies also we have one that state I’m to be in any and all school meetings and living in a different county the school district lies with which parent has residential custody been there done fought that and won
If they aren’t legally married shes not a step mom and it’s weird he listed her as such
They have been together for only 9 months what if they brake up and he forgets to change the emergency contact and something happens and they call her ? That would be my fear in this situation
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As long as you are still listed as their mother (and their main/secondary contact), I wouldn’t worry about it. She is probably listed as that for contact reasons, especially if she is easier to get ahold of than your ex. I doubt they did with with malicious intent.
So you remarry, move to a different county, the gf helps to get your kids in this school, and you belittled her on a piece of paper. Made a problem over nothing. Very petty. And jealous. Now she sees how fake you been to her. How will that work out for you?
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I was addressed as stepmom before my husband and I got married, but it was like a year after we got together that it started. My husband’s ex actually started doing it with the school because it was just the easiest way to explain my role. I was their stepmom in everyway but legally. Now that I’m legally their stepmom it’s the same.
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As far as school records or legal documents…then she’s friend until she married. Then it can be changed.
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We really need an eye roll reaction to posts like this.
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If the girlfriend helps take care of the children & is reliable, be glad you have an extra person to help out if need be… step parents, gf/bf/,friends, grandparents etc are back up in case the first person can’t be contacted…
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Tbh you don’t get to decide who their step mum is that’s for their dad to chose, If she was horrible to your kids yeah I’d understand but she doesn’t sound horrible at all. You’ll always be mom. Don’t rob your kids of extra love they could be getting cos you can’t accept them loving another female.
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Absolutely not. It does not matter how long they have been together or if they intend to tie the knot in the future. At this time, she is not a step mom and should NOT be referred to as step mom. Dads girlfriend is fine.
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If they’re not married she’s technically not the “step-mom”. Documents and records should be accurate, so I agree with you.
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If they aren’t married then she isn’t their stepmom… it might be a little different if they had been together for a long time but they haven’t even been together a year…they’re being petty af not you… I would’ve marked that crap out too…
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Before my husband and I were married I listed myself as misc. contact🤷🏻♀️ that’s what the ex wife’s boyfriend is listed as too. Personally i don’t see the issue if they are getting married though. I mean she’s going to be a step mom, it’s not like she’s just a girlfriend
Nope she is not legally related in any way to them as of yet so no need to even be on there period
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You do not get to dictate your Ex’s household and how he chooses to label his significant other. Marriage is just a paper, if anything you should feel happy for your kids knowing that there dad is taking the relationship he’s in serious. They need that stability from both homes. It’s really not a big deal.
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Why does it matter? I had to deal with my husband’s ex wife and this same thing about 12 years ago. Only in my case, it was the ex calling to tell us I would not be listed on her son’s school forms until we were married. Lol to which I said okeeeeeyyyy. I had kids of my own to be responsible for, annnd I work full time anyway. She was just trying to start shit. Like she did often. Guess what though, not even two months later she called to ask if I could go pick up my bonus son at school.
How about this, if you can trust this woman around your children, you can trust their dad, then let the little stuff go. It takes a lot to not be petty. I could have said oh no…no no I thought I wasn’t allowed to be listed on his school papers!!! 🤌 Instead I left my own job to go pick up a sick child who’s needs were more important than my pride.
Nope! Boyfriend/Girlfriend shouldn’t have access to the child’s academic info or medical.
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In the grand scene of things, does it matter?
I always feel like we need to pick our battles so we can maintain a civil relationship for the kids.
This is not about your relationship with her, it’s about the kids relationship with her.
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Seems like if anything, the GF should be irritated about the step mom title, since he hasn’t proceeded to marry her yet. You seem salty even though you’re remarried. Just be happy she helped your kids out and keep focused on YOUR life.
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It makes things easier to be listed as such, and if they do break up the papers can always be changed
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Ummm there is no legality to her being the kids parent. Literally she’s not responsible for them. So legally she should not be listed as stepmom. The only reason I could see this is if the bio mother was completely not I picture and father’s girlfriend steps up and is taking care of child fully because she wants to. What she is doing is overstepping and it’s just creepy.
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i address my bf as my sons stepdad. and my ex’s gf as his stepmom. as long as they love and treat my child how he should be treated that is what is most important to me.
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Nope, she can be listed as step mom when she is exactly that. Until then she can be put down as his girlfriend. I get why he’s upset about her being labeled as just a friend, I would’ve just put girlfriend . But step mom? Definitely not
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You are 100% petty and sounds jealous. I mean chile is she good to the kids? Does she treat them well?
What if they just don’t want to get married for personal reasons? You are going to create drama conflict then whine/cry about it later on when it boils over.
Get off your high horse, and get over yourself. Have respect for a woman who is helping take care of your kids!
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Pick and choose your battles. Does it REALLY matter? What are you going to do if he isn’t available, you’re one county over, and she’s available, because something happened to your child at school? Sheesh.
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Tbh your being petty
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She shouldn’t be on the school work at all unless both of you agree to have her as emergency contact. She’s not their step mother. They’ve only been together for 9 mos & are not married. If they aren’t committed to each other enough to be married she’s definitely not committed enough to your children to be considered their step mother. What happens if they break up? Shes mad at him & picks up the kids legally because you allowed her on the paperwork. Nope only people I trust are on their paperwork.
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You did the right thing. They aren’t married. She’s not a stepmom. If he had three girlfriends would he put all three down as stepmoms? How ridiculous. She probably gave him crap and that’s why he’s pushing at you now. Stay strong. When they get married she gets the title. Until then she’s just a friend.
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I mean if she takes care of them as a step mom & does all the things a step mom would do, which it sounds like she is, then yes I think she should b referred to as a stepmom. If you only think a step parent becomes a step parent once they are legally married that’s weird, because I would hope people would love step children as a step parent long before getting married.
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She’s not even the step mom yet so i would of been mad too. Did he put her down as a emergency contact or as a legal guardian ? Because your name should be the name he puts down in my opinon
She’s just dads girlfriend. They’re not even married so I wouldn’t consider her stepmom
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When me and my husband we just dating, he was listed as a friend on my son’s school paperwork, which was only on a pick up and drop off list for who could get him from school. Now that we are married he is listed as a step parent.
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Marriage does not make one a step mom… loving, caring and helping to care after the children of their partner does. When my partner and I met we both had come out of long marriages and although we love each other very much, have 2 kids (raising3) together— we will probably never marry. But I have always cared for my SD7 as tho she is my own. Even if to YOU it’s a “fake title” crossing it out and minimizing it to “friend” is disrespectful and comes across as petty. You should embrace the fact that dad has someone that is advocating for your littles
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You’re just a bitter baby mama at this point SMH if she is a positive influence on your children grow the hell up
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Legally she’s not the step mom. She has no leg here. When they get married, sure. Is it semantics? Maybe. But they could also break up tomorrow and still wouldn’t be their step mom. They are butt hurt and petty and pushing titles that just aren’t there.
If it’s easier to get in touch with said ex-girlfriend then someone else pertaining your children that’s why more than likely why he did it and if the Stepmom issue was bothering you and your remarried I don’t understand that it sounds like maybe you’re holding some type of resentment towards her that your ex husband’s moved on I’m not really sure what you’re asking. but as far as him naming someone a stepmom to take care of your children if you or he can’t get there I get it. Just be great full you have someone your children trust and that y’all trust and that would not abuse your children and if the school she got them in is great then I just wouldn’t worry about her being step mom you’re the mother I mean what’s the big deal.