Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should grandma (me) get involved? - Mamas Uncut
I’m not sure how you could get involved to prevent this from being allowed…
If you were that momma would you want to know?
I would stay out of it as it may end up back firing on you. I know your hearts in a good place but your grand children might not talk to you.
Should get all the facts first. There is vapes that don’t have nicotine which is legal for a 13 year old technically
Vaping is just as dangerous as smoking
Isn’t it illegal I’d tell whoever it takes to get them away from this
I think you’re right to tell the mom who doesn’t know
I would want to know if I was the child’s mother.
They can’t buy vapes at that age and from what I understand it’s Contributing to a minor
I am in the same boat with my 15-year-old stepson and I’ve been in his life since he was four he lived with me till he was 11 and I just don’t know what to do
personally i would speak to the parent who doesn’t know and then go from there.
I’m Grammy to 18 grandkids…and let me tell ya…I would be down those kids throats!!! Just my personality…I don’t keep my mouth shut and I love my kiddos I want the best for them all!!
While I don’t agree with them vaping, it also doesn’t matter if you agree with it. If the parents are okay with it then it’s none of your business. Grandma or not
I would tell the parent who doesn’t know. But unfortunately there isn’t anything else you can really do. 
Just saying, no matter what, if they want to vape, they will find a way. I think it’s smart of the parents to provide it when there are so many dangerous fake ones being sold on the streets to young kids. I’d rather know where it came from.
I would want to know if I was the mother. My mother knows there are boundaries with her relationship with my kids but she also knows how imperative it is that there’s open communication and support for the kids.
Its ok to voice your opinions about what you want for your grandchildren. You can even let the other mother know what her child is doing. But you can’t tell the parents what to do with their kids. Even if what you want for them is better than what their parents want for them.
They should not have permission to do this ,no way!
You are the grandparent. Stay in your lane.
It’s illegal & obvi bad for them. I would intervene.
You can tell the mom. But it isn’t your business or place to say what the parents can or cannot allow.
He should not be vaping that’s incredibly dangerous for his lungs.
I would want to know. Tell the mom!
Definitely speak to the parent that is unaware
Your gma?!?! Maybe talk to the kiddos first and tell them your concerns and going to talk to parents
I’m a mother of a 15 year old and I tell my kids if u wanna drink better come to me u wanna do vape come to me I would rather know than u do it behind my back. I apply the parents for allowing it, it could be much worse at 13/14 could be bring in a child and couldn’t afford the offspring instead of being a Karen make sure u don’t step on toes and always remember phases come and go
I would absolutely tell the mom. I would probably threaten to turn my kid in for allowing it… I’m sorry but their wellbeing is way more important that them being happy with me… Do everything you can to stop it.
If the parents are allowing it there’s not much you can do. You can encourage the kids not to. My sister allows her 14 & 16 year old to vape and I encouraged them not to and don’t do it around me. No matter what you say it’s not going to change anything except helping them understand how unhealthy it is…
It’s dangerous and it’s stupid but you’re not the parent.
If a mama doesn’t know, I’d definitely tell her so she can make her parental decision, HOWEVER, what people allow their kids to do isn’t really up to the grandparents. It is up to the parents, so anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter. Unless kid is neglected or abused… nobody’s business but kid’s and their parents.
If they want to vape, they will find a way. I would politely tell their mamas how you feel about the situation. Also tell them they can get in trouble with law enforcement for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
You should say something to the mom💯 and i would also talk to the kids
Kids are gonna do what they want to regardless of what parents say. If they say no to vaping, the kids are still gonna find a way and maybe come across something way worse than they intended. As a momma of 6, 2 of which are teens, I pick my battles, if they are curious, maybe the parents need to sit down and have an ADULT conversation with them, since they want to engage in adult behaviors. Maybe sit in on a NA/AA meeting as well
You can tell the other mother but honestly as far as having them stop, you can’t. It is awful that the parents are allowing this to happen. However, if the kids are going to do it then they will one way or another. As bad as I hate to say it at least the parents aren’t lacing it with a drug like it could possibly be if getting some from friends or other students.
It’s always ok to voice your opinion, but don’t tell the parents how to raise their children. This is always my biggest pet peeve with my parents. I appreciate the advice and concern but st the end of the day it’s my choice. I don’t agree with the vaping but in general
It’s not your business. You are not the parent. Know your place and leave this to the real parents
Regardless of how you see it, your not the parent. Period. I wouldn’t allow my 13 year old to vape but I also wouldn’t let anybody try and tell me what to do with MY child either
As a person who works at a vape shop, more cashiers need to ID. I card everyone that comes in our store but I know a lot of people can’t seem to be bothered by checking the ID but it would prevent a lot of minors from getting vapes.
That’s a huge hell no in my book. I would want to know if my kid was doing behind my back. I’d tell her.
You KNOW They are going to do it no matter if They have permission or not.
Just let them know the side effects of it.
But they probably won’t listen anyway.
That’s just the way it is🤷🏽♀️
I would talk to all the parents before they end up getting child protective services called on them If the kids are saying their parents are allowing it that’s a very big possibility This is dangerous in more ways than one
I am 19 i dont do any vaping or drinking and i have kids. However if i did and my parents allowed it then i would not care what anyone else has to say because my parents are the one raising me not anyone else. However, the parent that dosent know should know but i wouldnt tell her.
You’re grandma… its doesn’t really matter what you are okay with unfortunately.
Yes! Nothing wrong with a polite, controlled talk about your kids or grandkids health.
Not your child not your business. As I’ve had to tell my mom my son is my child and I’m raising him as I see fit. I make the rules not her.
It’s your grandkids and your family. Voice your opinion and disapproval. It’s a shame anyone would think that’s “good parenting” let me get it for them, really? I’m saddened this is the world now. Someone even said stay in your lane. I am a smoker btw but would not encourage it for my grands. These kids are really young. Speak up.
Stupid, but stay out of it. Your not the parent Unfortunately, so maybe just talk to the teens about it. Give them your opinion, and ask them to learn from the mistakes others have already made.
If I was that mom, I would want to know what my kid is doing when I’m not Around.
I let my son smoke and vape. He also smokes weed. Gasp! 
and if my parent decided that it was their business to interfere with it, they would not be apart of my life. Stay in your lane and let them parent their child. Like everyone else is saying, they will do it with or without their parents buying it for them. At least their parents know what they are getting.
Not your monkey, not your circus. Gotta let their parents deal with it how they see fit. And I definitely agree, I’m totally against all smoking/vaping 
I would want my mom to tell me…
I mean, from my POV, vaping and smoking are decisions to be made once one has passed the age to graduate high school… picked up my first cig at 18. Never before. It’s a hefty choice with lifelong consequences, and as someone who would be concerned that a 13-14 year old is destroying their developing lung tissue, I would say something.
Also, being caught with tobacco and vape products under 21 is a Minor In Possession charge according to any court located in the United States. So if you dont say something, and they get caught by someone else, they could have charges brought against them that could include juvenile detention time and hefty fines associated with the misuse of these products.
They’ll still do it behind their back even at school they’ll vape but no I would not let my son who is 15 do it but if the parents are allowing it they should at least get the no nicotine so they ain’t getting addicted to it
One thing you can suggest is getting a device and liquid with 0% nicotine, if the parents truly are allowing it. I own a vape shop for over 10 years and practically grill any younger person, if they are just in it for the hype/peer pressure, that 0% will save them the nicotine part of the addiction, but nicotine by itself (not the other 500 chemicals in cigarettes) is no worse than allowing them to drink sodas all day with caffeine. If you research, in small doses nicotine is beneficial to our health, and is found naturally in lots of our foods we eat daily like tomatoes. I’m not at all encouraging, I have 2 boys and have also gone down this road myself just not as a grandma yet! Be there and loving, if this is the worst habit they find to get into, it’s truly not going to kill them, which speaking of…vaping has never killed anyone, it’s misuse of batteries or leaving non-consumable liquids around for kids to ingest same toxicity as any other things like cleaners that should be put up if you have kids. I’ve been to DC and our state capital multiple times over the years fighting to help save this industry!
It’s amazing how many parents let their kids do this or smoke cigarettes. I would say something. They probably won’t listen but I know I would still say my piece
as a mother who always has people who put their two cents in and had to learn their place the hard way, dont get involved. no its not right but also not your lane not your business.
Are the taxpayers paying for all this on Government hand outs No child is earning at that age for such nonsense No wonder the Government penalise people when there is enough money in homes to pay for children vaping Parents fault to put children’s life in danger at that age Smoking and vaping illegal under 18 and are not served in a shop so who is buying it
Stay in your lane , you ARE NOT the parent .
As a mom what can you really do. If the parents know then im sure they tried to talk to them about it. I have a 16 year old an i know he vapes an smokes weed i dont allow it but he goes to his friends house or whatever an does it. I’ve grounded him a couple times for it but I can’t keep him in a bubble. I rather him be open with me than to hide things not that I agree with it but what do you do other than educate them an pray they make the right decisions
Well you could wait until they end up in the hospital like my friend’s son
There’s nothing wrong with trying to do what’s best for your grandkids - shame on them for letting them at age 13 & 14 that’s crazy
If a teen wants to vape or smoke their guna find a way!!
But I still wouldn’t give them permission to do it much less buy it for them is to each their own!
I was this kid a few years ago so here is my POV, if you go to the parent that doesn’t know and express your concerns it could cause tension between the parents, so I would go to the one that allows express your concerns to her, give her an option. Either she acts like a responsible parent and tells the other parent, or you will speak with her. Try not to get them to worked up to where they freak out on the kids and try and just ban it all together, because they will find worst just to go against the rules, sit down with the kids if you can and speak to them about the dangers of vaping and then let the parents work the rest out.
I would tell the mum, I would want to know
I would want to know!
You can say something but be ready for the kids to be more sneaky around you!
Kids are gonna do what they want, regardless. If parents allow it, leave it alone.
I would say, if their parents are okay with it, stay out of it. Also here to say you can get vape juice with no nicotine for certain vapes, so maybe there’s none in there? 
Pick your battles. Don’t buy into the hype on vaping. It’s the bootleg stuff that’s harmful. If he’s getting it legally, it’s not a big deal. I’d educate myself on the facts and then have a real conversation with the kid.
If the parents know, Stay out of it.
You are the grandmother and your asking if you should protect your grandchild??? Yes tell the parents. Or tell the grandchildren I know you are vaping tell your parent or I will
Nope. Just say your concern once and move on… but I know you really wanna say something. I would too. Your just a concerned GMA
Stay out of it unless you want those boys to resent you. You’re their grandmother not their parent.
Get involved how ? There’s literally nothing you can do . With or without permission they are going to find a way .
My 14 and 19 year old vape, and I buy it and allow it. Come at me. Do you know what else they could be doing instead?! I was smoking cigarettes at 12, and nothing my parents did or said stopped me. I would rather my children trust me, and come to me, then hide it from me. I will NOT feel bad about that! Open communication and trust and love is all my house is about! I pick my battles, and a vape is not one of them! If it were crack, or something else equally as dangerous, yea then I’d have a problem!
Your job is to love your grandkids not parent them.
The drinking age in other countries is about that age. So. Pick an choose your battles?
Advise the parents what you know, and then butt out. Information and opinions are separate things.
Aren’t you the parent of their parents? I have 5 grandkids. I might not be their parent but I am their moms mother so I feel I have the right to say something to my daughters as their mom. Now if they listen to me…sometimes that’s a different story 
Teens are going to do what they want, sadly.
When I started smoking when I was younger I hid it, my parents found out, talked to me about it, got upset. I still did it behind their backs…
Well, unfortunately you’re not their parent.
I would stay out of it but I don’t understand how any parent could or would be okay with buying or allowing your children to do something that is harmful to them.
So dangerous! You love them you tell them. In a caring way of course.
Not totally okay, but kids are gonna do ot whether their parents ‘allow’ them or not, at least this way it’s not being hidden and the kids aren’t attracted to trying to steal those things to get them.
Also, you’re the grandparent, not the kids parent. Just be careful how you bring it up, if you choose to, because you don’t wanna step on toes and make it seem like you’re trying to over take parenting them. That could put a wedge in relationships, etc.
By staying out of it…does that make it ok?
unfortunately you would have to stay out. Which sucks. Bc you don’t want them (parents) to be offended. They may put the kids in the middle.
Let’s just start w/ the fact that it’s illegal under the age of 18!
As a grandparent all you can do is voice your opinion n set a good example for those boys. We are not their parents but it sure sounds like their parents need to get on board w/ their parenting n be responsible parents. Sorry you are in this awful position. 13 definitely is not old enough to make that decision!
I say mind your business. You might not agree but they’re not your kids.
I say no, we (my husband and I ) tried to give parenting advice to our son and daughter in law. They have since stopped talking to us, unfriended us on Facebook and when I do reach out via text, they are both very short and basically could care less about us and what we have to say. 
I get wanting to as they are children, but sadly it is up to the parents on what they let their kids do. I think it’s not okay. In anyways they are babies.
But sadly not being the parent idk what you can really do specailly with someone who will let their child do it. All you can do is speak to the parent
There are kids at my daughter’s school in 8th grade that the parents buy them weed pens. My mind was blown.
Look I raised three boys u can’t really stop it …they gonna b out with friends doing things u will never know about they learn by mistakes we all do…I said stuff to my boys don’t do it I have no relationship with them now they thought I was being nosey…they need learn just tell them your concerned let it b… I being able see my boys because of it…wished I kept my mouth shut…I live alone disabled no visits calls nothing…please don’t do what I did I loved them didn’t realize me being concerned would cause this…it’s teen thing they trying fit in find them selves…pray for them just let them know u there for them if they need talk
It’s sad that people allow it ,thinking it is better than smoking but has been proven to be just as addictive and harmful. Have a niece that started at 14…but I’m not her mom so cant say jack. Just know i wont be allowing it for my own kids. Gateway to doing other things.
I thought it was like smoking- isn’t there an age stores are not allowed to sell products to? This is a health risk- as stated on all vaping products.
Considering you have to be 21 to even purchase this stuff. Damn right you should say something.
There’s a reason you have to be a certain age to buy these things… life long consequences, a person under 19 doesn’t have the mental capacity to make those decisions as they’re still adolescent. Meaning their brain isn’t fully developed. Which is why teens tend to do stupid things without thinking of the consequences. Which is why they’re supposed to have parents that make those decisions for them…
A lot of people saying stay out of it, I would just tell the teens not to do it around me and show them pictures of what it would do to their lungs. You aren’t their parent, so you can’t tell them not to, but you can tell them not to around you.
Coming from someone who picked up my first cigarette at 8yo and started smoking weed at 11. I wouldve liked someone to tell me the consequences of my actions 
Not that it’s really any better but there are nicotine free vapes
If it concerns the kids well being, I would side with the mother that’s not okay with it and express both concerns to the other parents and kids.