So my children’s father and I are separated. I feel like we do a really good job getting along and co-parenting, but there is one thing he keeps pushing that I don’t agree with. My 2-year-old son co-sleeps with my boyfriend and I (they are best friends) and my, just turned, 6 year-old daughter used to co-sleep with me until my boyfriend and I started dating. Now she just sleeps in her own bed that is pushed up against my bed, so we are still basically within arm’s length of each other. My thing is, I LOVE my kids being in the room with me and/or sleeping with me. It’s how I feel close to them, and I love waking up with them. I feel like when it comes time for them to sleep in their own rooms, I will have a harder time than they will. The problem is my kid’s Dad wants them sleeping in their own beds and room, like yesterday. He’s not super pushy or aggressive about it; I just feel like he brings it up a lot. I guess my question is, should I stand my ground and let them sleep where they want? Or should I get them sleeping in their own rooms and beds because that’s what they do at Daddy’s, so it will help them to get a routine and get them transitioned? Do you think them sleeping with me will somehow make them want to sleep with their Dad at his house? Or is each home different? I’m still learning… Only polite comments and suggestions please! Thank you in advance!!
Your kids dont need to be in bed with your boyfriend. Set an example. You are still married to another man, sleeping with another with kids in the bed.
I personally would have them sleep in their own rooms. Maybe once a month have a “camp out” where everyone sleeps together in the living room or something.
As a parent I co slept with my oldest longer than my second and transitioning my first was sooo hard because I let him sleep in my room so long. You’ll know when you’re ready. Its an independence thing to get them on their own. Maybe try having them share a room with each other so you have your own personal space. Personally my kids never slept in my room after I started dating my now fiance. They sneak in every now and then but always end up on the floor lol
My kids cosleep. I’m separated from their father. I personally couldn’t imagine bringing another man into their lives and having them cosleep with said man.
Is it the fact that dad wants it for a routine so it is the same at his house? Or, is he not comfortable with your kids sleeping in the same bed as another man? If it is just for routine, that is completely your choice how routine goes at your house. If it is the 2nd reason, then definitely take his feelings on the subject into consideration and move them into their own beds
You are making it about you and not them. Yes. They need consistency in how they do things at each house. And in my opinion, they should not be co sleeping with you while you have your bf in your bed. I am pro co sleeping. I still co sleep with my 4 and 5 year olds. But if for some reason my husband and I split up, I would not want them in bed with his new gf or my new bf. Dad is not making an unreasonable request.
My children were small when my husband (their father) was killed in a motorcycle accident, when I started dating my now fiancé and eventually we all moved into a house together my youngest would sleep in the bed with us until this past summer. She only really knows him as her daddy as she was only a few months old when her father passed. But it didn’t bother me because I felt like if she didn’t want to sleep in our bed or for some reason felt uncomfortable with him she wouldn’t do it. So I’d maybe start trying to transition your child out of your bed so as not to make waves if their father is being decent but maybe gently let him know that eventually your child will be ready on their own.
I personally say your house your rules. He can do what he wants at his house but that may not help in the long run if you need him to change something.
My sons 4 and his bed is pushed up against mine and daddy sleeps in a another room. My baby will always come 1st and he sleeps better and so do I knowing hes right here with me. He will get his own room whenever hes ready for it. Did the same with my 14yr old. They grow up too fast and if they need their mommy then I’m here for it.
Your kids, your time, your home. No one else gets a say. What Dad does with his time is his choice and you have no control over that either. No matter how much you get along aside from this, that doesn’t mean you have to change your choices and lifestyle for him because he sure as hell wouldn’t for you. No matter how much you get along. Rule is - each parent has their own time and with that time they do as they see fit. Don’t stress over it, him or anyone’s negative opinions. 
Tbh I think they should defo be in there own beds and in there own rooms by now because the older they are getting the harder it’s going to be to get them to settle into there own beds , I can see where there dad is coming from as he is there father and that kind of closeness should be with the kids parents , plus the fact it can’t be great for your relationship having to kids in the room with yous every night but defo try getting them into there own beds and own rooms if u can it will be better for them and yourself in the long run xx
I 100% don’t agree with letting a new man sleep with your kids. Also they’re big. They need to sleep on their own.
My daughter and I coslept (she’s always had her own bed and room) until recently she’s now 5 almost 6.Her father and I have been split since she was 6months old. The person I was with before was a father figure to her for 3.5yrs, her bio dad dipped out for 2 of those yrs. when I got with my now husband tho we quit “co-sleeping” because my husband has a daughter the same age and We wanted both kids to learn to sleep on their own and cuz I’m pregnant and we have 2 dogs in our bed too. My daughter just crawls into bed with me in the morning after my husband leaves and my step daughter will do the same.
I am all for co-sleeping but your dynamic changes because you have a boyfriend. I am sure he is amazing and loves your kids but really he should stay at his place if they sleep with you. I guess maybe switch it around, would you be comfortable with another woman sleeping with your kids? I don’t know all your details so I am not judging at all… nor have I ever been in your situation but in this case I feel your ex husband has a point in his feelings towards the issue. Do you know if his reasoning is because of the boyfriend or just in general? Good luck and at the end of the day the world can tell you what they think but you always go with your gut and what you want.
I would not have my kids sleeping with myself and a boyfriend. My son was 3 when I got with my now husband and he co slept with me until then. An infant, I would kinda understand but no to older kids. That just feels weird, honestly.
Your new man doesn’t want the room alone with you sometimes??
Aa a father he has concerns and I respect that especially since your boyfriend is in the bed with you. I think it’s best they sleep on their own.
The way you type this, it sounds like you know what the right answer is you’re just clinging to hope that people will validate you and your choice.
I wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I think letting a boyfriend sleep in same bed is not good. Maybe work on getting them in their own beds at this age…
This is an incredibly personal, divisive decision as a parent. Sending you big love and strength as you find the guidance you need for your decision. 
Personally, my kids have their own rooms, 1yr and 4 almost 5yr old. I am separated from my 4yr Olds father. I always grew up with my own space and room, and personally have always felt like that’s the way it should be. My door is always open and when my daughter has a bad dream and needs her mommy or my husband, her daddy Brett, she knows she is always welcome to jump into bed with us, she’s done it plenty of times. But she has always had her own bedroom and space for herself. I think the kids deserve their own space and bed, they are their own people and they will know you are there if they need you, but if they can go without then great, give then that space and opportunity. Plus it’ll feel nice to have your room to yourself so when you need 5min alone it’ll truly feel like you time and space 
Would y’all be saying the same thing if this was dad sleeping with his kids & the girlfriend in the same bed?
I’m old school after they outgrow their cribs…it’s their own beds in their rooms.
My 8 year old has no choice but to share our room. She has her own bed in room but a summer project just hasn’t gotten done due to covid. My 23 month old I keep putting him in his bed but he keeps coming back. He is soon to move into a room with his big brother. Maybe it will be easier to get him out. I just started though. He makes it most of the night but those last few hours are tough. I wouldn’t let my kids co sleep with a boyfriend. My son is also my husband’s but the 8 year old is not allowed in my bed.
My ex mother in law allowed my daughter to sleep with her. I have never had my children in the same bed with me. Well, with her letting her sleep in the bed with her then my daughter kept wanting to be in my bed. When I’d say no she got upset. It does make it hard on the children but that’s just from my experience.
Your boyfriend shouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed with another mans child. I didn’t allow my step son to share a bed with his father and I. He learned how to sleep in his own bed when he would come over.
My daughter was in her own room at the age of 2 . Yes she does end up in our room once and a while . But as for the kids sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend. I don’t have much advice on that as I’m still with my child’s father but maybe take the kids father’s feelings into account and sit back and think would you feel comfortable if your kids slept in the same bed as his girlfriend. But at the end of the day its your house and your choice.
I have to agree with some of these ladies here. They should not be sleeping in your room. I get they are your babies but they are to big for them to be within arms reach and sharing beds with you guys. I just moved my 11 month old into a room with her sister and it’s hard but I know they are safe right down the hall. I also don’t agree with some who say they make their SO sleep in another room for their kids. That’s messed up in my eyes.
As a father I really wouldn’t like the idea of my children sharing a bed/room with another man. Not to mention, they are old enough to sleep on their own. ESP the 6 yr old. I used to SOMETIMES co-sleep with my first, although yes it’s comforting at times they need to establish their own independence including their own soothing during sleep.
Would you want your kids sleeping with his gf? Me personally I would not. I think they are to old to be co sleeping with you anyway. Start transitioning them to their own beds and rooms. Besides do you not want “adult time” with your bf? That’s kinda hard to do with kids in the bed/bedroom…
No. Women natural father is not the one around the kids they say it’s about 10 times the chance are the kids being hurt or molested. It’s not okay
Both of my kids sleep in my room n they have for years but my son has always slept in his bed on my floor n my youngest started sleeping with me after 1 right after me n the fiance now started dating both my kids call him daddy have since forever n we plan on moving then to there own room but my oldest last his dad recently so it taking some time n my youngest her dad has nothing to do with her n both my kids r 6 n 2 plus me n the fiance have on on the way
Boyfriend issue aside, think about it from a child’s perspective. If they are used to bed sharing, it probably is pretty hard for them to sleep alone at dad’s house.
I’d probably start having them sleep alone so that it’s easier for them regardless of which house they’re in.
Personally, I would not have my kids in bed with a man that is not their father. I have no issue with co-sleeping and did it with all my kids, but would not do it with a boyfriend. Maybe have them in beds in your room but not in your bed or move the boyfriend out, lol.
“They are best friends?” This kind of concerns me, as I have heard it phrased that way with child sex offenders, to get the child to not see what they are doing is wrong. I am not saying that is what’s going on, but just be very careful and keep your eyes and ears open.
I would start transitioning into their rooms. For their sake and your boyfriends because i know he may not say it but he doesn’t want your kids in the same room much less the same bed. No privacy at all
I would at least have the option for them to sleep in their own room. My kids have their own beds in their room (also 2 and almost 6) sometimes we still cosleep but most of the time they sleep in their own beds
My kids both sleep in my bed with me since our separation. I’m trying to get them in their own beds in their room since that’s how it is at their dads house.
I would absolutely never allow my children to sleep in bed with anyone who isn’t their father… I don’t think it’s right. I would take the fathers feelings into consideration & most definitely try to transition them into their own rooms, it would make it easier on them also.
This is definitely your decision…
But …I think for you and your boyfriend’s relationship it would be better for them to have their own rooms…
The kids could use some time become independent…having their own room would give them the space they need to grow
If they have there own rooms then definitely yes they should be sleeping in there own beds in there own rooms.
This is your call as their mother. Who cares what a bunch of strangers on Facebook think honestly 
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It’s probably time to start the transition. They can still come cuddle in the morning.
I feel that the kids are old enough to sleep in their own beds. This sounds like something you need to resolve for your own mentality and not theirs. Them sleeping in bed with you and your boyfriend probably makes it harder on their dad to institute a boundary at his house. The 6 year old should have their own space and if the 2 year old is weaned they definitely need to have their own space. The 6 year old is obviously too big for collecting if she doesn’t even fit in the bed
I am with the kids dad. The bf is not their father and should not be sleeping in the same room as them.
Before I state my opinion i want to state… I did NOT read any previous comments because I want my opinion my own…
My opinion is …I am 2816615% pro/not against co sleeping!!!
FIRST… first thought you need to consider is… would you be okay w them sleeping in the same bed as dad and gf?! NO MATTER he’s sleep wise involved or not… emotionally and mentally you need to process that thought…
…I do think … there’s a big difference between co sleeping… and bringing a man into the mix…
I don’t think agree or think it’s smart safe etc… having a child(ren) sleep “within arm reach” or in same bed as a man …
To clarify… im NOT JUDGING… I personally just think unless you have been dating AND not co sleeping for AT LEAST a year… Not appropriate…
Children need there own space and there own routine… they are old enough to be in there rooms by themselves… or put them both in the same room that way you know that they are both safe and well… co sleeping has both and good things about it… they need to adjust to there own rooms… I have never co sleep with my boy as soon as he was a week old I put him into his own room, he is now one years old and knows when bed time is. I put him into and he goes straight to sleep for 12 hours… you may have trouble getting them into a routine…
Our judge threw a fit because BM was putting the kids in bed with new boyfriends. Dh asked nicely for her to not put kids in bed with boyfriend We now have full custody this being one of the reasons we won full
Am I the only one that read this and grew concerned with the “they are best friends” statement? I guess im confused as to how does that relate in any way to co sleeping?
Since you asked…absolutely no to any kid in bed with you and a boyfriend. This is not an accusatory statement…it’s just unnatural. I think you should respect their father’s wishes and transition the kids to their own rooms.
I was on board with doing your own thing until I read that your boyfriend stays there too. They definitely should not be sharing a bed or sleeping quarters with you AND your boyfriend. Kind of crosses the line for me and I know if I was the dad in this situation I’d have a tough time with it.
I’m worried that you jumped into a new relationship before even getting divorced. How long have you known your boyfriend? Would you want your daughter jumping from relationship to relationship like this? Not being judgmental, just giving you things to think about.
Why do you need your kids to sleep in your room? What are you afraid of or missing? Can you be alone with yourself and be OK? Might be worth talking to a therapist. Self-knowledge is powerful and a professional, third party perspective can be a revelation.
I get why Dad is uncomfortable. Don’t you want independent kids who can live on their own secure in the knowledge they are capable human beings? It seems like we’re being loving, when in effect we’re telling our kids they aren’t able to do anything on their own, thus undermining their self esteem in the short and long run. This sets a bad precedent for teaching them they can succeed and succeed on their own.
Is this what the kids want? Is this what your BF wants? This seems more about you than your kids.
Have you Googled your new BF, met his friends and family? Seems like you brought a new man into your life pretty quickly without giving your kids or yourself time to adjust, grow, and take stock of your lives. As a mom you ALWAYS have to put the kids first. I get Dad being wary. What if your ex realized he was gay & had your kids sleeping with him & his new boyfriend?
Personally I’d have the kids sleep in their own rooms, but let them jump in for nightmares, morning snuggles, movie or story time. You want your kids to learn to self soothe and be resilient. And I’d have BF live at his own place too. Unless you are sure it’s going to be a very long term relationship, I wouldn’t introduce the kids to a BF in the first place as anything but a friend. Otherwise you set them up for heartache and messed up relationships as adults.
I’m not saying you are absolutely wrong, just please, please think about short AND long term consequences for your kids. Might be worth checking out some parenting books or reputable videos. Librarians can be great resources and now they will pick books for you and have them available for contactless pickup.
Children should not be sleeping in same bed or room with a boyfriend of yours! That is not their dad. If I were their dad, I would also be very upset by this. It’s one thing if it’s JUST you and your children. But when there’s a man in your bed, the children should not be in there.
My son has his own room. He is also 2. When he stays with my boyfriend & I, he starts out in his bed but usually in the middle of the night, he’ll end up in bed with us, but he sleeps on my side so I’m in the middle.
They probably do ask to sleep with dad and he may prefer not to. I think he can’t force you but you letting your kids bedshare with a boyfriend is inappropriate. No matter how close they seem to you.
My daughter slept with me until I got with my boyfriend. He felt weird about sleeping in the bed with me with another man’s child. He wouldn’t want someone to do that to his. It took a couple weeks but she ended up loving her bed and now she sleeps with me when he doesn’t stay the night or is out if town for work!
The father has every right to be concerned and request that it stop! Causes confusion when they already really don’t understand what happened!
Put yourself in his position how would u feel about them sharing a bed with his new partner?
So I have a 6 month old. I’m not with his father, because of many issues but mostly because he’s a controlling douche canoe who also didn’t go to any of my appointments cause “pregnancy is easy”, has never been to one of his sons appointments, doesn’t ask about him all week and only gets him every Sunday and every other weekend. My boyfriend, who’s been here through everything, lives with me. We co-share a room with my son till his room is built and sometimes if he wakes at night and refuses his crib, my son sleeps with us. But he’s also 6 months old, and usually sleeps in his crib unless we’re going through a sleep regression, cutting teeth or he just misses his mom. 
I also co sleep occasionally cause we both work, SAH mom isn’t reasonable for us, and I need some sleep before getting up at 4 am with my boyfriend and shipping him out the door and then 6am for my job.
So I say do what is absolutely best for your situation and your house.
You’re sadly making this about you instead of them. They need their own space, they need some form of independence. It’s okay to have a healthy relationship with your children, however. Do you really want to be rocking a 9 year old child to sleep every night or else they have a meltdown because they can’t sleep in your bed? It causes so much unnecessary stress for their little bodies. You need to admit you are doing this more for your comfort and not for the benefit of your child. I know how hard it is, have two myself that comes from to previous relationships. I’m not going to say your boyfriend is anywhere near creepy nor is he a creep. However it’s inappropriate for moms to think it’s cute for their boyfriends to be in bed with their children if they aren’t the father nor been around for at least 2 to 3 years. Kids need consistency, your son not sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend and you won’t affect his relationship with your son nor yours. You should just try to also remember they aren’t just your kids to. If he helps financially, physically, and mentally with those kids. It’s equal say, us mothers need to stop acting like we have final say, we don’t. If their fathers are good fathers, and do what they need to do for their children. Then you as a mother and an adult need to respect the fact that he has earned his right to have concerns and to ask you to put his children on a healthy sleep schedule. Xoxo momma.
My former best friend was letting her daughter co - sleep with her since she was born & she was divorced. I totally understand where you’re coming from in that aspect. When she
started dating her now husband they had the had the hardest time getting her to start sleeping in her own room. I had to “ bribe” her with bedtime stories to get her to start. Your kids are big enough to be sleeping in their own rooms on their own. I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for the new man too. So I agree with your ex.
I think its inappropriate for them to be sharing the bed with your boyfriend. THAT is the issue. Not them sleeping with mom. If it was just you it wouldn’t be a problem but the boyfriend cosleeping with your children is not ok. You either need to set boundaries and get the boyfriend out of the bed with your children or get the children out of your bed with the boyfriend.
Its time for them to have their own rooms, you can transition with them and they’ll love it. We do projector night lights with light music and got them their own bedset each they picked out. All their stuff is in there and they have their own TVs but only watch to sleep on weekends.
From reading your post it seems to
Me they are in your room and bed for you not them, your new boyfriend isn’t their dad and to me it seems inappropriate for them to be sleeping in the same room/ bed as you on a nightly basis. I’m guessing some of the issues your kids dad has( and he has every right) is if you and your boyfriend Are being intimate with the children present.
They need to sleep in their own rooms
No!! If u want to have a bf thats ur business BUT those are ur kids why would u want that going on btween them thats too un natural and think its too early for bf to stay over as well…gd luck!!
Kids should have their own bed and room. If your kid had a friend sleep over would they also sleep in your room? Food for thought there. Adult things happen in the bedroom that is inappropriate for children to see or hear especially if they wake up in the middle of the night. Also would you want your kids co-sleeping with husbands new partner? I would think you’d be protecting your kids by having their own room and it would also be easier bc they’d have a room at both houses. Also you’d have kids that can self soothe. You want to promote independent children with good self esteem.
I’m old school think about what your actions are teaching. Do your want your daughter get with someone having a couple of kids. Then moving men in and out of her and kids life. Whom may or may not have good intentions.
That being said. I divorced. Yes I dated afterwards but protecting my kids heart was more important . So I didn’t bring men into their life. My kids only knows of 2 men I dated. My grandkids only know of 1.
No offense and I dont know the bf. But my neice got a new bf. Let him watch her kids and be daddy to them while she worked. He was such a good guy. Such a good guy who molested her daughter. They need their own room and you and him need your own space. Never open your kids up to be hurt. You may trust him. But maybe you shouldn’t completely, they are not his kids
My daughter has always slept in her own room from birth and my house and her dads. But when he broke up with his gf he started letting her sleep with him sometimes and ever since that started she asks to sleep with me all the time! So I think it might affect how they are at their dads. But I still tell her no so it shouldn’t be too hard for him to tell them no if they ask at his house. I do say tho…be very cautious of letting your son sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend. You may think you know them but child molesters don’t make it known to people what they do. They are very good at hiding it. As someone that was molested as a child I just want to say, to be VERY VERY CAREFUL!
I am all for co-sleeping, but I think it’s wierd with the boyfriend 🤷, plus they are old enough they can have their own space and be more independent.
What’s wrong is not them sleeping in bed with you it’s sleeping in bed with your boyfriend, seriously??
It would probably be better for them to have their own space to just be them and also to help keep you from disturbing them while they sleep if you are up for whatever reason during the night. As far as the boyfriend I can understand where everyone is coming from but also I would hope you took the time to know the man and are comfortable leaving him alone with your kids because if you feel you couldn’t that would be a major problem.
I am no longer with my son’s father and from time to time my son will climb into bed with me and my boyfriend and it is fine.
Just make sure that it truly is what the kids want and not you not wanting to let that part of your relationship with them go.
I don’t see why you guys can’t make your own choices during your own parenting time. The kids sleep in your room while at your house and sleep in their own rooms at dads place. He shouldn’t be trying to dictate where your kids sleep on your time and you don’t dictate how they sleep on his time. That’s parent of healthy co-parenting.
Sleeping in bed with you is one thing, sleeping in bed with you and boyfriend is another. My 4 year is old is still in bed with me, my 10 month old is in his own room- BUT there’s not way she would be in bed with me if it was me and a boyfriend and not me and her father…
It’s not appropriate for your bf to be sleeping with your kids. You can get your kids taken away for a slight infraction. I agree with your baby daddy. Your kids should be in their own rooms.
If you’re having another man in your bed then in my opinion its inappropriate. This is probably why your ex had issues with it. If it weren’t for another man in your bed I would say whatever happens at your house no ex has any say. But this one raises red flags. Www.d2l.org
Holy flip nope dnt do that … fk getting a new boyfreind lol … id rather sleep with my kids like i am now … so akward lol
No man other than the child’s father should be in bed with the kids.
I kind of agree with dad on this one. They are old enough to be in their own bed, especially with the new boyfriend in your bed. You both need your privacy, not to mention that the older they get the harder the transition will be for them.
I think your ex is being reasonable. I’m sure it makes him uncomfortable having them sleep in the room/bed with your boyfriend and I also think it would be good for them to having similar routines at mom and dads house.
Also you remember that he will probably match your future concerns with the same respect you give him in this moment. If you want to have input with what happens around your children at his house, you need to take his input for your household as well.
It could be a problem at dads house. My daughter sleeps with his grandmother that he lives with and had a really hard time adjusting to sleeping in her own bed at mine. I didn’t mind sleeping with her until I got punched a couple of times one her sleep.
I think it’s one thing to co sleep with your kids but to have a man that isn’t there dad in the same bed is just strange , i can see bio dads frustration and him being upset by it he has every right to be respect his choices and take the rose coloured glasses off and be more vigilant with your kids.
if your daughter struggles to sleep on her own than perhaps it would be best to transition her into her own bed and you stay in there with her alone just til she’s comfortable enough to be in there without you , do the same for your son aswell
If you have a decent man in your life he will understand but if he has a problem kick his ass to the kerb
The only thing that matters is how your kids feel. If they are comfortable sleeping in the same bed as you and your boyfriend then there is nothing wrong with that… especially when they are going through a separation of parents. Having that constant in their lives will help them to cope with the stress and anxiety that change brings, in a more positive way.
I wouldn’t worry too much about the judgy Karens on here who are either unnecessarily sexualizing the completely innocent act of sleeping, or are clearly unaware that co-sleeping is very common throughout the world. Children have different needs regarding the people in their lives. They may or may not feel the need to sleep in the same bed as their dad, but whatever he decides he is comfortable with, they will adjust.
Kids in the bed with a new man is not good. They need to be in their own rooms. I agree with your ex
How often are they with their dad? If it’s affecting their sleep at their dad’s house, then yes I’d most definitely start weaning from the cosleeping. I know you love it, but it’s obviously affecting them negatively with their dad
Tbh I think it’s time they sleep in there own rooms. U need ur alone time.
they will adjust to the separate routines at separate houses. it will take them a minute but kids are really good at that. i also don’t get the aversion everyone has to them being in the same bed as your boyfriend. they’re co-sleeping with YOU, not him, he just happens to be there. and considering you’re present throughout the night, unless you’re a ridiculously heavy sleeper (which i don’t think a co-sleeping mom exists that is) there’s little possibility that the sleeping arrangements would exacerbate the possibility of something happening.
don’t allow him to start controlling big lifestyle choices like this in your household. if your immediate family is comfortable with it then that’s what matters. they WILL get used to the different sleeping arrangements at their dad’s with or without you changing your routine.
If I read correctly, you stated your daughter sleeps in her OWN bed but in arms reach? And your 2 year old son sleeps in bed with y’all? I do not see anything wrong with your son sleeping in bed with you guys. Yes it would be weird if your daughter was, but she’s not. As long as you and your babies feel safe then let them stay in your room. No need in making their life more difficult just because one parent doesn’t allow it at their home. To me it seems as if he is trying to still tell you what to do in your own home
I dont think your children should be co-sleeping with you boyfriend
I guess I’m the odd one out here, but let them keep sleeping with you! I was a single mom, and coslept, when I met my partner, we continued to cosleep. My son is now 3 and my daughter is 4 months old and we all cosleep. Obviously if you don’t trust the man you’re with then don’t let him share a bed with your kid, but cosleeping is some of the best bonding!
You gotta ask yourself honestly if you would be ok with your kids sleeping with their dad and his girlfriend in the same bed.
It would probably be better if they have the same routine at both houses. Idk would you feel comfortable if they slept like that at there dads and his dad had his girlfriend in the bed also?
If the boyfriend wasn’t saying the same as the father I’d be worried 
One or the other in the bed. My kids. Not the new boyfriend. Id just share my bed with him when they were at their dads
I think you want to consider the source with these comments. You might want to try to find a bedsharing/ cosleeping group (cosleeping is when they sleep in the room with you, bedsharing is when they sleep in your bed) to ask this question in since a lot of these commenters aren’t coming from the same place as you are
My advice : as long as it works for you and the kids, leave it. Just like you don’t get to dictate what he does in his house (putting them in their own beds), he doesn’t get to dictate what you do in yours. Yes, it’s good to try and compromise, but as an attached parent myself, I understand the value in having your little ones close and being nearby for them. He can ignore their needs all he wants to, but you don’t have to.
All that being said, I’m not a huge fan of the idea of the boyfriend being in bed with your son and I can’t see that your ex would be either. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and he and a new gf were doing the same? That’s more concerning to me than the bedsharing. Just food for thought.
They belong in their own rooms in their own bed much healthier for them they shouldnt co sleep with your new boyfriend or dads partner either
If the kids stay, the boyfriend has to go, I’m with dad on this one.
I don’t agree with letting some new man sleep with your kids. And I can understand where your ex is coming from.