My sisters husband was ordered to pay $182.00 for child support for 2 girls 12 & 13 he does not happily, plus he makes her supply the food they eat when they visit for 2 weeks. He asks for change if he gives her $200
Whatās wrong with the public school. You can afford that
2 Likes
Ask the school if they have some kind of funding to help ā¦some school offer that
Thatās what child supports for, but he could be willing. You would know better than anyone what his answer might be
2 Likes
He is the father but even though he does lay child support but still he can help with school I would ask for sure
Robert some men walk away and donāt think they should pay anything. It was the only way I could get my former spouse to help. He said he was just tired of being a husband and father after 18 years of marriage and 2 or three instances of infidelity. Not all men and or women are invested in their children.
1 Like
You can ask, but he is not obliged. My children went all through school in private. No extra help was given other than the child support.
It is normal for the father to contribute to child care. But, he would not be obligated for the full 50 % of a private school.
I think he should he helped make her
What did you do to the guy? When I hear court ordered. What did you do to the guy???
1 Like
You may have to have your child support adjusted.
Go back to court and amend the support ruling to include tuition
I think if you talk to him and explain, either he does or he doesnāt, unfortunately.
Hopefully he will.
1 Like
No, your choice to do private, you payā¦
1 Like
Tuition is not included I child support peopleā¦you can as him but if he refused you might want to seek legal adviseā¦I know my husband had to pay extra for all the āextrasā such as book fees tuitionā¦extra curricularsā¦etcā¦ in addition to his support.
1 Like
Iām a little surprised at how many comments mention Dadās child support. Truth is the custodial parent. has a āchild supportā obligation as well. The money just doesnāt get sent anywhere. Both are responsible for the quality of their childās life. So why shouldnāt both mom and dad wk together to place their child in a better school, even if it exceeds the legal ā child supportā obligation
32 Likes
No. He already pays child support and you want more to make it more convenient for you. Your convenience is not for him to subsidize. With that said, if your daughter has extra curricular expenses then it would make sense to ask him if he can contribute since itās for her. But, donāt be surprised if he declines.
42 Likes
What these men donāt understand is if they were living together he would be paying more money than the child support is. My son pays child support but also helps with private school and anything else that comes up!! Set amount of child support doesnāt cover it!!
4 Likes
If he wonāt sometimes school can help with tuition they have people who donate to kids who do not have a 2parent home. My daughter went to private this way. Good Luck
27 Likes
Yeah his ass should pay at least some of the tuition. Child support really doesnāt include school tuitions. Thatās a separate issue. But good luck getting it. Hope youāre daughter doesnāt have to give up going to a good school cause her fathers too cheap to pay it. Make sure the child support payments reflect his current job. If he gets a job making more money that means more child support! He helped make the child now he needs to do his part raising the child 
19 Likes
Your ex owes his daughter all the advantages she can gain, and that includes her schooling. If you are paying tuition, she is his child, too and needs to step up. Children always remember who was there for themādonāt forget that all you fathers out there.
20 Likes
Before asking him to help pay for it, Iād ask him for his thoughts on the school.
I get it btw, I raised 2 as a single parent.
15 Likes
I do not see a thing wrong with asking him to help with any extra expenses for his daughter, a good father would do everything he could do to help with what is best for her.
28 Likes
Father should cover other than support. Half of medical and dental and schooling and if needs be other child care between school and motherās off work time.
14 Likes
My brother paid outrageous child support to his childrenās mother. When the kids wanted to play sports she refused to pay anything. She said if you want them to play, you pay. It wasnt he wanted them to play, they wanted to play. Not always the guy who is the ābad guyā.
58 Likes
It should be 50/50 as the court orders are for me but he canāt pay child support nor alimony. Thankful my kids grandfather set up a trust for private school for his grandchildren.
2 Likes
You could ask him but donāt be upset if he doesnāt help cover it. In my opinion, if you choose to send her there, you assume responsibility of the cost. That is why he does pay support. But he could be in a financial position to help, which would be great.
My boyfriend covers half of his daughter to go to private school, but I would never expect my daughters father to do so if heās paying child support.
105 Likes
I believe thatās where child support comes in if he volunteers good if not ok
25 Likes
I would ask him. Worst thing he can say is no. Not sure he can be made to help pay for it since public school is a option even though it may not be convenient to home and work.
4 Likes
Give him the opportunity to cover it on his own or to come up with a way to do so. If he does not , you can always take him back to court to cover the cost. Yes, it is his obligation as it is his child also.
9 Likes
If the child support is fair, I think private schooling is your responsibility. You said this is for your convenience to work and home. It may be a wonderful school but not a necessity.
78 Likes
No. If he pays child support, then itās your decision to pay for schooling instead of do something less convenient for yourself. He should not be financially responsible for your convenience. You should approach him nicely about it and if he says yes, perfect. If not, then that decision should be respected. It also depends on how often he takes care of the child. Men are disproportionately treated poorly in cases like this. Iāll probably get hate, but bring it.
15 Likes
Well you can ask Nicely.
I had my kids on private school also and when I got my income tax it went straight to the school
4 Likes
I never had child supportā¦ I sacrificed by living with my parents and working as much overtime I could get to put and keep her in private school
6 Likes
You can approach and ask however, that is what child support is for, to help with expenses. He may or may not agree. He could think it would be great for her, or he could feel like they have great public schools and this is mostly for your convenience.
21 Likes
You can actually file for a change in your child support order. If the child support increases or decreases 15% or more they will open your case and recalculate his child support. Then his contribution is included in his child support. 100% yes. He should be helping
34 Likes
I would sit down with him and have a convo about gow much it cost and why you want to send her there. Then see what he could reasonable contribute to it. Maybe he can cover half maybe less. By discussing it you are opening a convo about ehat he can afford. He maybe be more open to help if he understands your not demanding he pay more than he can afford.
8 Likes
You already receive child support. Support is used to cover things like this.
14 Likes
If you are a single parent, then you would understand the private school versus the public school. It is hard to have a job and finding safe childcare for meeting the working parents schedule. It never hurts to ask, and a father that can afford the extra will most likely step up and help with his childās safety in mind. All fathers arenāt bad.
4 Likes
You can ask, but he is not in any way obligated to help cover tuition
8 Likes
Kind of vague ā¦ where does she currently go? Daycare? Preschool? Is this 50/50 custody? Will your decision influence the distance or time in travel for him? The decision to enroll in private school with tuition costs should have taken place with the father before you decided your course. You can always ask , but the financing may not be within his reach.
7 Likes
Where I am, child support is also used for school tuition. You might have to get the child support modified, but a judge may not approve it if both parents donāt agree that private school is the best option. If the dad can prove a public school is just as convenient, itās unlikely the judge will increase support to cover part of it.
5 Likes
Worth a try. You could suggest a yearly budget for either school or extra curricular that you could split. Even when a father pays child support, when the child lives with the Mom, all falls on her from daily responsibilities of care, rides to Dr appts and days out of work when child is sick. I see no problem asking him to kick in for tuition.
7 Likes
I think the courts have to calculate. If he pays support already and is living beyond his means supporting kids and his own living expenses then I think you should maybe consider alternative as this doesnāt seem like necessity but just something convenient. The courts will give you both a fair deal but do remember he has to live and pay bills where he is as well. The courts will ask for paystubs etc.
6 Likes
Childsupport is there for that reason but it canāt hurt to ask. My daughters dad helped with extras here and there but I never took him back for an increase once he started helping with extras. At the end of the day he doesnāt have to do the extras but he might so canāt hurt to ask.
4 Likes
Use the child support towards the tuition, he is not obligated but if he wants to thats great.
27 Likes
If you want him to help, you should have a discussion first.
5 Likes
He is not liable. You are giving him no choice in the situation. Ask him what he thinks. Iām guessing his convenience wasnāt also factored in?
4 Likes
You should ask him 1st. If he does be thankful. If not, decide if itās worth going back to court for a possibility of more money. My daughter is grown, but my ex always did more than expected. And I was always thankful he did. He actually paid all her college expenses.
4 Likes
I pay child support and still offer to help with other things too!
9 Likes
Child support is supossed to be for roof over their head, food , and clothes.
5 Likes
So here is what will probably happenā¦ the dad will probably tell you that since YOU chose to go private, then YOU pay for it. By all means you can ask, however, if heās not required to help cover those sort of expenses, you probably wonāt ever get help.
4 Likes
You can ask, but I doubt he will pay, men are funny that way.He thinks he pays child support so he has done his part.Good luck!
2 Likes
Iām surprised education costs werenāt settled during the divorce proceedings. Sometimes in addition to child support thereās a order to cover childcare/education /extracurricular costs as wellā¦ hmm
2 Likes
Even if you feel it is the best option for you and your daughter, private school is optional and would be your responsibility alone. Child support is based solely on parenting time and custody. If parenting time or income doesnāt change child support canāt change.
1 Like
You can have a conversation and even as but, unless it is written in the decree, he has no financial obligation.
2 Likes
Our custody agreement states that he pay his weekly child support and also half of all educational and recreational expenses as long as they are agreed upon before hand.
1 Like
i agree i think that you should go back to court to ask for the extra money for her. she will be getting older and be in demand of more things then now and you will need that extra money for her. but still have the visits with her and her dad so he knows that you are not just using him for his money. this coming from a single mom who had to raise two boys on her own with no child support at all. i wish i had the help. good luck and prayers be with you all
1 Like
You can ask, he can say no, yes you can take him back to court, itās always possible the courts could lower your child support instead of giving you more, consider everything, as your daughter advances in the school do they have scholarship program or programs to help with tuition. Perhaps he will offer some additional help. All you can do is ask,
1 Like
Everyone says if heās paying child support weāll some people are only paying the minimum and itās not much a good parent which ever one it is mom or dad should help some how
1 Like
It depends how the order is written. My childās father had a monthly set amount and then a percentage of extra curricular and medical he was responsible for.
1 Like
Yes. Child support is intended to supplent her care, food, shelter, clothes, medical, dental and school expenses. The tuition would take most if not all of the child support leaving little for her care. He may not pay but ask anyway. Even a small contribution would be better than nothing.
Absolutely!! Child support does not cover half what a child requires. A real father will always offer to help give his child a good life!
1 Like
A lot of times the dad has other children and the child support he is paying plus insurance and dental stretches the budget at his current house and it isnāt possible to help with tuition
1 Like
Ask the school about grants and financial aids.
If you donāt qualify talk to your ex again about the school and see if he may change his mind and be willing to help. If he refuses you may need to ask about having the child support amended.
2 Likes
Private school is 
worth the investment. You get a quality education that you absolutely do not get in public school. You should both do whatever you can to keep her in private school. Itās worth the investment when itās time for college.
1 Like
I would ask first. If he doesnāt I would consider having child support raisedā¦not knowing how much he pays. I got child support raised when my son was a junior in high school. Not that dear old dad paid itā¦butā¦
1 Like
If you take him back to court they will make him split it with you. Child support does not include tuition fees or babysitting fees. All that is extra. My daughterās dad is ordered to pay me child support and half of all babysitting/tuition fees, half of all medical bills
What a great question! 
Hoping it works out for what is best for kidsā¦if he doesnāt want to contribute or help in āwhat is best for children ā, then file a motion, ask the court/Judge to decide for you bothā¦increase in child support or you two work it out and decide/provide what is best 
Hoping you both can find a happy medium for your family!
Child support, in most cases, is based on what it will cost to get them to age. Itās for basic needs (food, housing, clothing, etc). It never hurts to ask of the non custodial parent is will to help with additional costs. However, private school is a choice not a necessity. I donāt feel they would be at all obligated to help out with those costs. May be a different story of it was needed due to a childās disability or something along those lines. But, because that school is more convenient for the custodial parent does not obligate anyone else to covering the additional costs.
We pay child support, half of the medical expenses, we carry our own insurance for the children, and half of school fees. I would def refile to see if he can help out with tuition.
1 Like
Mmmm. This is a tricky one.
If heās paying for child support
Then why ask him to pay?
Is it his choice to send her there?
If you have to ask the question, about whether to ask him to pay, makes me think you never asked him for his opinion.
If he sent your daughter to this school or made any big decision without your thoughts or opinion - then ādemandā you pay for the school, how would that make you feel?
Being a divorced single father of 2 children, these situations are never good if you donāt include the father in the decision making process.
My kids are 16 and 13
With 50-50 custody.
And took a long to time to get
To a peaceful place.
If anyone suggest you go back to court, ignore them and defriend them. Unless he stops paying support.
Iām sure Iāll get a bunch of crap but I donāt care.
Anything negative is never helpful.
3 Likes
Depending on what state you live in determines if private school can be included in costs to determine child support. In ohio it was considered a luxury since public schools were available. Therefore the cost of me wanting her at a private school was all on me. The judge wouldnāt even consider it as a cost.
Unless it is stated in the agreement that he is also to cover half of costs towards education, medical, etc thereās not much you can do about it but ask. He will either say yes or no but you will never know unless you ask.
1 Like
Maybe Iām off by why are so many people basically saying itās your problem? If you both agree itās a good school, and he can help, why shouldnāt he? Child support typically covers less than 1/5 of child rearing costs. If he can help out, IMO he should. Itās for his CHILD not for YOU. If heās worried youāll use it for something else, he can pay it directly there, and yāall can take turns.
1 Like
I would approach the father with the proposal of that he can either pay child support or half of the tuition but not both. Depending on how much the child support and tuition is, he may be able to pick the one that is easier for him to afford and thus have a better relationship with the mom
2 Likes
Yes ask him BUT no he is already paying child support so he is paying what he is obligated to
2 Likes
Not only is it ok to ask, but it is his responsibility to split any tuition until she graduates from college. If he wonāt do it take him back to court.
1 Like
Mine pays child support plus insurance and also has to help with any school cost or extra curricular activities! Just depends on what you all agreed upon! Mine only pays $200 a month before all u Karenās come at me 
2 Likes
I agree with Sonia. Have a nice discussion, hope you are on friendly terms. If he refuses, ask your lawyer who handled your separation and child support. Good luck
You can ask but from what I know, and it depends on the state, the court wonāt require he pay half. But it doesnāt hurt to ask and lay out all the reasons you want her to go there. Good luck!
1 Like
Absolutely. Child support rarely covers the basic necessities and if he were still with you, he would be sharing the expense. Most likely, he wonāt volunteer. You might need your attorney to help modify the agreement.
My divorce decree actually states that my ex has to pay for half of anything like that including sports camps and braces. But I had an awesome lawyer.
Heās not obligated to do so but a good father, if heās can swing it financially, would. Itās worth a shot.
1 Like
Parenting is 50/50 so, of course you can ask. He pays X amount in child support however often. Youāre responsible to put in the same amount at the same frequency as him. If that amount canāt cover that school, youāre trying to live above your means and trying to make someone else foot the bill. If you both agree, sure. By all means. If not, itās unfair to expect him to pay more than you. I hope it all works out though.
1 Like
You could ask. But donāt be surprised if he feels like the court ordered child support is enough
3 Likes
You need to read through your documentation of the court order for your child support. many times school tuition and school expenses are in addition to the monthly child support just like sports and things like that are also so I would definitely read your papers and see what it shows
My daughter was in private school really expensive and her dad did voluntarily help he paid half I would ask him tell him you really want her to be in a good school and Iām sure if he loves her he might to it cant hurt to ask you can letās have his child support raised if not but I never raised his as long as he helped me
Im sure he is responsible for 1/2 her schooling but not so sure about paying half to put her in a private school thatās convenient for you, but who knows he may be willing maybe just talk to him about it
If you get a reasonable amount, I personally think you shouldnāt ask for more. There are good free schools you are choosing to put her in private which is a personal choice and financial burden you are putting on yourself. If this was a decision you both made and he said itās a go then fine. But because youāre doing it for you and your convenience, I personally donāt believe he needs to help. If heās nice and wants too kudos to him
1 Like
Talk to your lawyer, but Iād also speak to her father. You two have many more yrs of raising your daughter if you canāt talk to him about this them itās going to be a long hard journey. Just remember itās not about you two anymore itās about whatās best for your daughter
1 Like
Honestly, he pays child support and itās your choice to see yāallās child there. IMO, thatās your responsibility. Iām sure thereās other schools she could go to that are free! Good luckā¤ļø
Look at your own finances and see if the division is equitable. If it is then no heās already paying his share. Why not ask him his thoughts about it and see if he could or would contribute.
Convenience for you is not a justification for committing years to tuition cost. Creating discord is also not in the best interest of your child and you can see from some of the responses the anger that some have toward their childrenās father so keep the peace and try to work together for the best interest of the child.
Thatās my 2 1/2 cents worth.
2 Likes
You can go back to court and modify the support agreement to include 50% of the tuition. In my state, the non-custodial parent owes 50% of all tuition and fees (not that Iāve ever gotten a penny from my kidās dad, but thatās another matter).
Talk to him about it but if he throws a fit you can always petition the court to have him cover half, thatās how it works here where I live. Just like he covers half our girls health insurance, plus his court ordered support. Different states and counties do things differently though so all you can do is ask him or the court
1 Like
You can always ask, but if he says no, donāt get upset. Try a different tactic if you can cover the price, like covering the uniform, extras like books and supplies, even the lunch program if itās not included with tuition (some are and some arenāt). It will ease him into it and maybe down the road heāll be willing to pitch in, especially if your daughter is loving the school.
Is he amenable to her going to private school? Supportive even? If so, get it in writing. Then, petition the court for an increase in child support based on tuition costs. Thatās what I did and got increase. Good luck. 
Absolutely no way does child support pay for all her needs. You both had her you both should pay equally for her needs
Is the child in daycare? Who pays for that? If itās part of the child support then you use that for his part of tuitionā¦ if you live in a good school district that offers free pre-K I doubt the court will make him pay
1 Like
My question would be: is child care included in the valueless l calculation for child support? When my child support was initially computed, it did not take into account any extra expenses like childcare, medical, extracurricular activities. He got a new job between the original conversation with the judge and gave the information to the lawyer. He refused to accept the new child support and continued to pay the original amount, $280 a month. I did ask for help with childcare and help with clothes when my daughter started school. He eventually decided to modify our child support. At that point, I stopped asking for extra.