Should I be concerned about my childs behavior?

I’m worried about my oldest child. There’s a lot of things that seem off. For starters, she’s almost four and isn’t really talking much. Not like in sentences at least. I have tried to teach her things like shapes, colors, numbers, but she hasn’t gotten any of it down. She still babies talks, and sometimes when she does try to make a sentence, she gets words backward. Really no one understands her beside her dad and me. She seems to learn things later then, most kids. Like crawling, walking, talking though she’s not talking much, and potty training. She is also really mean to our animals. And no matter how many times we’ve tried to get onto her for it or redirect or teach her how to pet and be nice to the animals, she still does it. She doesn’t like affection. Really the only people who she’ll hug are her dad and me. She constantly on the go; she can’t even sit still for 2 minutes to eat; she always has to be moving. I see her pediatrician this week, but I wonder if this sounds like she could be autistic? Or for those of you with autistic kids when did you discover your kid was autistic.


Yes sounds possible signs of autism i would just run your concerns by the dr. Early diagnosis is best more beneficial to her in the long run


I am not going to suggest your kid is autistic, but it defininitely seems like there may be some kind of delay.


Definitely get the pediatricians opinion. My 2 yr old daughter won’t talk and we’re putting her in a speech class to be evaluated if she doesn’t get better.
Sounds like possibly ADHD to me and maybe some Autistic behavior as well.

Get her evaluated through your school district. She will receive free services and interventions.


Yes keep checking everything,
Her eyes are good?
Her hearing?
Her development is not delayed?
As a mom you will know know when it’s done done

School district for early intervention assessment is your best bet.


During my 'children with special needs" class that I took for my teaching degree we learned that speech delays are often caused by hearing problems. Take her to her doctor and request her hearing be checked. She may not be picking up vocabulary, colors, number, shapes, etc because she cant understand what you are saying to her.

Your doctor will probably want to test for all sorts of things like autism, sensory processing disorder. etc.


Ya sounds like it. Have your pediatrician do a quick test and have her referred if necessary

She needs an evulation. Start now because it will probably be 6 months before she’s seen. The county pre k will evaluate her too for special Ed services.

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my best advice is keep her separated from the pets, before you’re the next one on tv for having a child mauled by a pet. You know the issues, address them

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My son is autistic and we did get him screened by the specialist here in my town for the actual diagnosis. He too was baby talking at age 4 and seemed off. He was diagnosed autistic and we started speech therapy and got him into kindergarten sooner than usual to help with it. He is not 6 and is doing great! Talks full sentences and all. Definitely get seen as tested. Good luck mama, sometimes it’s a hard one but getting her checked out is first


If you think she’s autistic, then it’s worth exploring. Ask your pediatrician for appropriate referrals to get the process started for an assessment.

Carrie Fowler maybe you can help?

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I would get your pediatrician opinion.
My sons wanted him to be able to say 30-50 words and 2 and 3 word phrases at his age. He is 2 yrs old.
He can also say all the numbers from 1-10 still learning the order, can put a wooden matching shape puzzle together.

Every kid is different

Both me and my sister were late bloomers. I don’t think my sister started using sentences untill we where almost 5. All babies are different and learn at a different pace


Listen to Alan watts he says when babies are trying to learn we should always talk to them as they are adults not baby talk it makes them harder to learn but don’t worry every child blooms in its own way don’t let doctor mess with ur child there is nothing wrong with her she will learn give her time and remember talk to her like she’s a grown up and with love and watch how she will change !


Sounds very much like the children of my two good friends. Both kids are autistic. But with early intervention before school age and services once they were in school, both kids are doing so great. It’s amazing how quickly they progress when you have the right help. Get her evaluated and diagnosed, then go to your school district and start getting services.

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You said your oldest child? Maybe she’s just trying to be the baby still? I would get extra opinions if she is diagnosed with autism. I had a lady tell me once that her child was diagnosed with autism and he did therapy and he was doing very well and someone there told her that if her child did have autism he wouldn’t have been doing so well so quickly and that the state/government gives these places extra grants and stuff when the “cure”, help, etc kids. I’m not saying there isn’t real cases of Autism, just be careful so they aren’t treating your kid like a paycheck when she made some other form of help. Best wishes :heart:

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My 4 year old son is autistic and was diagnosed this past year. It can be frustrating but you can get a lot of help after an official diagnosis.

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Sounds a bit like a form of aspergers. Which is on the spectrum of austism.

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Yes and no but i would really have a lond discussion with her doctor. Praying for great results.

My youngest did a lot of the same things but she had hearing issues. As well as adhd. Teaching her to retalk after tubes was hard work. She has an IEP… still have to get on her about bein rough with animals. Definitely talk with her Dr and get the ball rolling for testing.

Talk to her pediatrician and if you don’t get answers from them see a specialist. Trust your gut! Sounds like there is definitely speech delay issues. Please seek an evaluation before starting school it will be so beneficial for your daughter.

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Sounds like she could be on spectrum. I would definitely check with your pediatrician

I would be concerned and make sure to get her in speech therapy and bring it up with her pediatrician.

Share these concerns with the pediatrician. He/she will likely refer your daughter to get tested. Could be a bunch of different things. No one here will be able to pin point it for ya. I know it’s heartbreaking and frustrating. But once you figure out what is going on and start a plan you will have some relief in knowing. But once you find out get a second opinion and do your own research.

Pediatricians exist for a reason. You should’ve talked to them about it a year ago.


We saw signs at 8 mos old. Here was missing milestones. Couldn’t eat anything but puree

I would definitely have a developmental assessment done by the pediatrician BUT they don’t always point to autism. The roughness and hyperactivity is probably sensory seeking. Instead of avoiding (covering ears, hiding, being a loner) she may be trying to “get on top” of everything that overwhelms her senses. My daughter has severe autism and is for the most part a sensory seeker. What feels rough to us feels light to her. She hits and pushes but 99% of the time it’s out of love. She has a crazy high pain tolerance as well. She never stops talking but it makes zero sense to everyone else and sometimes even us. She’s five and about where a two year old is mentally. Still not potty trained.

I would recommend a psychologist to test her. Developmental pediatricians can be hard to get in with and also most want cash payment and don’t accept insurance, at least near my area.

Good luck mama! You can always PM with questions!

We’ve been at this almost two years and it’s gotten a lot harder as she has aged but we are trying many things to hopefully recover our girl.

Also, if you find out what’s underlying the behavior I would highly suggest genetic testing because there is usually something going on there that plays a huge factor. :heart:


Talk the doc,who hasn’t noticed any thing by now? smh Go to a new doctor,doctors are suppose to ask questions when you visit.If you’ve told them these problems,and they haven’t done tests then you’ve got a crappy doctor.Also if your child is mean to pets why do you still have them?It isn’t fair to make a animal suffer because your child is mean to it,that’s animal abuse.Find new homes for the pets.


Wth should have been addressed long ago
You sound neglectful


I mean not really. My middle daughter was like this and they found out just barely before Pre-K she couldn’t hear. A couple tubes…some.shrunkin adnoids and boom. I can’t get her to be quite 🤦:joy::joy: literally all kids are different

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I would’ve been concerned a couple years ago. Definitely have her checked for learning disorders, add,ADHD, and autism. My 22 month old grandson was just checked because he doesn’t really speak and has some self harming issues (bites himself, pulls his own hair, jumps off furniture without trying to land on his feet, etc). He was just diagnosed with autism last week.


hey don’t stress too many lots of 4-year-olds are like this and once they start kinder it kind of all comes together and if she needs extra help the school will soon pick up on it we tend to put a lot of pressure on our 4-year-old especially since they are starting school. if she has had reg check-ups and or child care etc and they haven’t mentioned a concern

She will be fine, kids learn differently

Mention your concerns love when you have your appointment and then when you know you can take it from there xx hope you get sorted wish you the best xx

The Austism spectrum is so vast that some people don’t realise they could be on the spectrum until they are adults. Problems can be minor to severe. It sounds like your daughter could be on the spectrum but she needs to be tested to confirm. Then you will learn how to communicate better with each other.

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I would say, see a specialist in child development. They are the ones to help you.

I am NOT. doctor or pediatrician but that does spund like austim. You JUST described my 2nd son. Other than the being mean to the animals thats exactly how I would sescribe my son. He wouldn’t be mean per se but he would totally ignore them or get irritated by their touch (we had super friendly cats that love attention) he would just kinda get them out of the way and go about his super charged day never ceasing to be still for longer than a few seconds or when he is asleep.

With all that said there is also another option. Hearing problems. If you haven’t had her hearing checked or in awhile it may be time to do that too. If she can’t hear then she can’t learn as fast. Just a thought. Again I am no doctor or pediatrician.

Please talk to her pediatrician, if it is autism she can get into early intervention and that helps SO MUCH. Best of luck!!!

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Get her seen ASAP she clearly needs some help pedi should be able to point you in right direction if nothings working

Could be. Could be any number of things. Your pediatrician will likely send you to a psychologist or similar. I’d also suggest calling your local school district and ask to speak with special services. Let them know you would like your child to have an educational evaluation done. They will help with speech and OT services and likely preschool as well at this age.

I would get a referral to a Speech Therapists.

Wait until you discuss it with your pediatrician, presumably this is not new behavior?

The best way to find out what’s going on is to contact you local school district and get your child evaluated. As an early intervention teacher myself, there a lots of services she can be entitled to that will help her now in the home as well as when she’s in school. I would def request an evaluation and see if it’s a speech delay first before worrying yourself. Some of these behaviors can be due to a speech delay

Why hasn’t her primary care intervened yet? This should have been handled by now if you regularly bring your child in for checkups


The doctors dont always know. Taking her to a specialist would help to be screened. Call brain balance and contact your insurance company for referrals

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Im surprised your pediatrician hasnt already picked up on all of this??

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Talk to ur pediatrician. My son is 2 and can do small sentences. And by four she should be able to, and she should be starting to grasp colors and stuff (at least that’s what my sons pediatrician says)

You know it could be many things and I personally firmly believe that getting your child treatment before they are ready to go to school can prevent a lot of behavior. I know from experience where your coming from and it’s frightening. My daughters behavior started at 3 and escelated when she was 5. I had to hospitalize my child several times. She killed animals, hurt people, set fires, stole and tried to kill her self. The laundry list of disorders was horrific and as she got older she was diagnosed with more disorders. She will be 19 in March and has Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, and Borderline personality disorder on top of ODD, IED, ADHD, PTSD and some other things. My point being what ever your concerns are with your kids it’s always ok to ask for second opinions, as much medical help or therapy, friendly advice, and get all the support you think your child needs. It’s hard being a parent but it’s well worth it. You do what you have to do !

My daughter is on the spectrum and she was delayed in speech and potty training and was a bad sleeper
She was diagnosed about 3
She was never mean though but I have heard it happens
Hugs there mom …talk to her doctor and consider a speech therapist and a specialist to help

I would suggest you take her to an occupational therapist or a child psychologist. I am an OTA (occupational therapist assistant) and I have seen these signs in kiddos who end up with a Dx of ASD, ODD or other such issues.
Please get help while she is young so you can have supports in place as she ages. Best of luck :heart:

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I haven’t read all of the posts so please forgive me if this inform has already been given. I am a Speech and Language Pathologist so I will only speak to the communication piece of this question. Even though a child may still have speech sound production errors, they should still be understood by even unfamiliar listeners by the age of 4. They should also be talking in full sentences with a variety of words and for a variety of purposes. There could be several reasons for delays but yes, your daughter demonstrates communication delays for her age. Your local school system can complete and evaluation and if they find that your daughter dies indeed demonstrate a delay, can provide therapy. Those services are free to you and are part of a free and appropriate education.

My son was like this when he was 4-5 I found out he couldn’t hear us…even after several doc appointments I finally took him to a specialist and one look in his ears and he said he is talking how he is hearing things…which is kinda like everything is under water…so they put tubes in his ears and then he received some therapy and he started talking very quickly


My son did the same thing even mistreated animals and he has autism but wasn’t diagnosed until he was 15 they kept misdiagnosing him!! Please talk to her doctor and find out what is going on with her. Prayers for you and your family

my grandson was dx with autism at age 4 and had a lot of the same symptoms. Not saying that is what is happening but it would not hurt to ask doc about it

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Address it with your pediatrician. It could just be a delay. It doesn’t sound like autism to me

Sometimes it’s just age, some kids move at a slower pace than other. We had very similar struggles with our 5 year old, including self harm. He was tested for autism and he folks at children’s hospital did see markers for him being on the spectrum. But the Doctor had a theory she wanted to test first. She wanted to see if our struggles with him were due to his lack in ability to communicate with us. Speech delays can be just as frustrating for a child as it can be for us. So he was enrolled in speech therapy. A year later, he doesn’t shut up (like at all seriously). He went from not being able to speak to talking more than a teenage girl (I have 2 teenage daughters so my house is noisy). His ability to comprehend what he’s being told has drastically improved and he responds to redirection. I’d look into speech therapy

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My son did not speak intel almost 4 and no one but me and his stepdad and dad and nana and papa can understand him he also learn more slower then most kids his age but we took him to speech therapy at the health department and he was diagnosed with apraxia and sensory processing disorder and autistic and he is also adhd add and Bipolar so u might want to get her checked out my son will be 13 on the 21st of this month and that exactly how he was and only people that be round him long enough and understand him hope this helps

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Sounds like apraxia to me… Might take her to a speech pathologist just to find out

2 autistic kiddos and my opinion is to speak with pediatricians. Theres a ton of developmental disorders and any underlying medical conditions that need to be ruled out first.

Sounds similar to my son. He is now 9 y/o he has been diagnosed with adhd and o.d.d. He did not speak much at all until he was 4 and that’s only because he started aggressive Speech through the public preschool program. I never knew adhd brought learning delays of that sort, I am now learning the truth and more in depth reality of adhd through the help of a therapist for him.

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Rene Collins can you offer any advice

I would have her evaluated she might possibly be autistic

I would recommend that you discuss with your pediatrician and if you have early intervention office contact them for an evaluation. Where I live it’s a county program.

Hello, I’m a pediatric Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant. I would recommend you get her in to see a local Speech Therapist and Occupational Therapist. When you see your pediatrician they will probably recommend you see a developmental pediatrician, these are the folks that diagnose Autism, Sensory processing and many other things. It sounds to me she has some sensory deficit which can help explain the aggressiveness/roughness towards the animals, inability to sit still and I’m sure other things you have not mentioned. Once Speech and Occupational Theraoy get started as long as carry over happens in home the child normally starts to blossom and catch up to developmental milestones at a good pace.

Hope this helps :slight_smile:


I have an autistic son. We found out when he was three. He was non verbal…and liked to be alone. We found a great neurologist and took him to speech ( which he still gets at school and he is very much verbal). Hes 10 now but has a mind of a three year. Talk to her doctor and voice your concerns and find a neurologist. My son is about to restart behavioral therapy because he is starting to act out aggressively. Br patient with her mama.

Specifically ask your pediatrician about resources in your area. Usually the office will have lists of local resources. Do your own research and go into the drs office with a written list of questions. Be your own avocate. Unfortunately med professionals sometimes forget that not everyone knows what they know. And it’s too easy to forget all your questions when you walk in, if they’re not written down.

She could just have sensory issues. Theres a lot of stops on the spectrum and it doesn’t hurt to bring it up to your care providers without panicking. If you are concerned about your child’s behavior I would, and maybe seek play therapy or ot. Their little brains are still wiring at that point so I wouldn’t be too worried about her delays. But it doesn’t hurt to address your concerns.

Trust your gut. You got this Mama. Don’t be scared to ask the professional as many questions as you’d like…

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Contact your local school district and ask for an evaluation.

Sounds like my 4 year old, only he talks and can learn in a timely matter but his doctor suggested ODD but he’s not old enough to test for it yet

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I am surprised her pediatrician hasn’t already addressed these concerns. That would be where I would start.

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Both my daughters were late talkers n potty training wasn’t done till 3yo. My youngest ended up needing tubes in her ears. Didn’t realize till she was 3. Made huge difference she’s 5 now n most ppl can’t understand her. My oldest had learning issues but now she’s doing great…I was scared of autism but luckily it wasn’t a issue. Just stubborn n couldn’t hear anything lol

I have a 7 year old autistic daughter and some of the things your describing are definitely red flags for autism. I would take her to her pediatrician they should have an evaluation form on hand for you to answer some questions and go from there. It may be nothing but it never hurts to have them evaluated. Early intervention is key!

My 3 year has autism and alot of ur concerns are red flags for autism. Ask ur doctor for a autism evaluation.

I would mention all of this to the dr they should know what to do

sounds like ADHD; except for not be nice to animals (psychopathy)

I have 4 yr old autistic grandson who does the same thing except his speech is ok