Should I be concerned that my husband spends his weekends away from me?

‘So my husband and I got married almost two years ago now and have been together for nine years before that. We only started living together once he found a job opportunity near me. Which was four months ago, and every weekend he has off, he goes and spends it back in his hometown, which is an hour away and sleeps at his parent's house. His job is demanding, and he has no spare time to do anything with me during the week and spends all his free time with his parents and with his friends. Is this concerning? (I would go to his parent's house with him but they live with his brother and wife and their child and the women don’t speak the same language as me and the men never speak to me & as well as that his father has made a few rude comments towards my appearance so I’m just not comfortable spending the night there anymore) my husband spends his weekend away from me. Is this concerning?
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my husband usually goes and stays with his parents on the weekends sometimes. it’s his way to destress and just relax. it gets a bit much for him being around the baby and me while working from home. all marriages work differently. if you think its suspicious bring it up to him,

This sounds like a culture clash. My oldest son’s bio dad’s parents are from Mexico and my youngest son’s bio dad’s parents are from Vietnam. In many cultures, it’s really common for the children to live with their parents for life. I’m only assuming this due to the post referencing that they spoke a different language.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be concerned that my husband spends his weekends away from me?

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Yes, it’s concerning.

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That is definite a red flag. Does he ever invite you? Have you ever asked to go with him? Are you 100% sure he stays with his parents? Sounds like he’s living a double life

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Go spend the weekends with him and see how he reacts.

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Definitely concerning…

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Yea that’s definitely not ok. I would be asking a lot of questions. If he isn’t willing to make some changes I would end the relationship. You should be his number one priority now

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I think you KNOW the answer already.

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If u feel concerned enough to ask social media I would think trust is definitely an issue x if ir not happy and feel insecure he’s not the one xx

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You need to confront him on this. He should be making time for you.

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Oh dang…I definitely wouldn’t stay…

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If you are asking this question then you already know the answer. Have you approached him with your concern?

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Oh no, thats just not right on so many levels. He should WANT to be with you, hes grown and married his ass needs to be home with his wife and family. Good luck with that.

Suck it up and go spend a few weekends with him and see his reaction! Seems very concerning to me

Very very concerning. Your only married two years and only living together for a short period of time. Not good.

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Time to go. That man is living another life away from you.

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Red flags all over that. I’d be super concerned.

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It sounds like you may have married into a different culture. It sounds like this is a normal part of their lives and you may not be used to that? Maybe try one weekend there, one weekend home?

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What I find concerning here is that out of an 11 total years relationship and 2 years of marriage yall have only lived together 4 MONTHS?!?! :flushed::flushed::flushed:

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Sweetie that is a huge RED FLAG!!

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Absolutely very concerning and not normal.

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Neither the man nor his family have any respect for you. Time to leave

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When I was younger I would only see my dad on the weekends. I thought that was normal till we realized he a whole family he was with during the week.

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Ya…. I’d be concerned

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A lot of this is kinda off like how you only recently starting living together even though you have been married for a few years. Sometimes it logistics but still its a decent amount of time. And yeah visiting his family once in a while is ok but not every weekend. He should want to spend time with you. All of this sounds like he really doesn’t want to be with you much. Big red flags.

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This is very concerning I would definitely be interested in what’s got his attention back home

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He probably living a double life.

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I think you know your answer. This is totally not normal. I wouldn’t confront him yet. Follow him and get photos and evidence. Install GPS on his phone/car. Call your phone carrier and ask for a print out of all his texts and calls. Your internet provider can send you a list of his web use. Once you find your evidence, get your finances and house in order and catch him in the act.

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Girl throw the whole man away

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Wait! Did I read that right. You’ve been married for almost 2 years and just moved in together 4 months ago? The whole situation is concerning to be honest.

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2nd family by sounds of it

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That’s definitely a red flag. Why every weekend? Does he spend time with you?

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You’ve been together for 11 years but only living together for 4 months… Girl WTF have you been smoking this whole time? :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Have you asked why he doesn’t invite you? Or if he could maybe go only every other weekend or only 1 weekend a month? Does he know there have been rude comments? Have you expressed your concerns to him? He may not be aware? Just some things I’d ask myself… no one is a mind reader…i wish you luck :two_hearts::pray:

Yes I think you need to find a another man that values you

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Everything about what you wrote is concerning

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Could be lying about staying with parents maybe another woman

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He’s staying with another woman.

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Ya might wanna just go ahead n file for a divorce cause it’s definitely coming anyway

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I think you already answered yourself by asking the question. I definitely would find someone who would want to spend time with me.

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Oh yes and he’ll naw tgat won’t be happening

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That’s not a marriage, hon.

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Have you ever asked him why he doesn’t spend his free time with you? Wait you’ve been married for 2 years but you just moved in together 4 months ago? Is that correct or did I read that wrong? That is just odd. I think it may be way passed time to have a talk and set priorities.

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God, yes! I’d have some major resentment issues if I were treated this way. Kick his ass to the curb immediately.

Everything about this is completely off! I’d get myself a good divorce lawyer if I was you.

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This post has to be a joke 11 years of being a second mystery wife now you ask

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Have you thought maybe he’s actually with someone else and is saying that he’s staying there so you wouldn’t go with him? This whole post is concerning. If you two are married, there is absolutely no reason as to why he’s going to home to stay the weekend. That doesn’t make any sense to me

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Well this shit ain’t gonna work out, lol.

Leave girl you deserve better

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Red flags galore! Yet I think you know that! You already know in your heart what you need to do. Praying for you!

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He is not used of living with you! Who gets married and don’t even live together! :laughing:

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Wow, I would demand some answers, respect and his time. If he can’t, then file the divorce and find a man who values you.

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Pack your bag and be ready to go with him next weekend. I think you’ll have your answer after that.

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Going somewhere without you ever once in awhile I think is ok.

But not every weekend when it’s the only free time he has really

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That ain’t no marriage hun. Walk away. Something is seriously fishy with all of this.

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That doesn’t sound like a marriage…

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You married a Lil boy, not a man lol. This prob fake anyways.

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Yes, very. Why get married and move to be with you if he never spends time with you?

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Well yeah definitely red flags there.

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Ur married n he spends his weekends with his friends n parents??? Omg bye a long time ago ! How is that a marriage? I mean shit everyone needs a minute to themselves but every weekend I hope u have ur own bank account

is it a marriage so he can become “legal”??? Seriously there’s so much wrong here I’ma stop there. He ain’t into you, he’s using you. Hasta Luego Pendejo

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That just isn’t normal.

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Yes. It’s concerning.

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Um. Yeah it’s concerning.

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I wish my partner would leave me alone for a weekend :weary::joy: no in all honestly now and then once a month but when you working all week your weekend is your time xx

Really ! He can visit for a day and come home to spend time with you ! Do not have kids with him you will be on your own .

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So let me get this right. You have been with this man a total of 11 years and only just started living together 4 months ago. If this is real maybe tell your husband. Tell him that you want to spend some weekends with him so maybe he can go home like every other weekend or something

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Sounds like to me that he only married you to stay in the states… correct me if i’m wrong!

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From your on here questioning it, sit down with you self and weight it out

It sounds like he’s got 2 different families/relationships

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Yeah you already are concerned. Start
Going with him. I bet after a few times, he’s gonna get annoyed because you’re cramping his style. It’s either drugs, another woman or an unhealthy attachment to his parents.

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Umm yea I’d have to put a stop to that or else he could just move back with his parents

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Sweety are you really this brand-new?

This is not a marriage

I honestly dare my husband to try some crap like this

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Once you marry someone, you become their family so yes this is wrong and needs to be addressed.

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Sounds like he needs a recheck on his life.

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You need to be talking, not nagging or demanding. Find a way to learn their language. Even a little will build bridges. As for father in law. Know what you mean

He’s got a whole different life! Dump him!

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That’s not a husband

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You should be concerned because you should be his priority! It would be more understandable if it was once a month or so but every weekend?! Absolutely not!

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It bothers me that the solution is not try, assume the worse and leave. There’s always more to the picture, good and/or bad

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Married 2years and you didn’t start living together right away.

Thats not a marriage!

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He’d spend at least every other weekend with me or he could get out & I’d find someone who wants to spend time with me

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Sounds bad honey. The question is why? Ask!:heart:

If your asking,there Is a Problem,you need to have a conversation together,and ask him why,he may not have been ready to settle down,but it’s time to be honest,and explain to him how uncomfortable it has been for you…Good Luck!!

It depends on his culture. Some cultures are just like that

Wait… you’ve been married for two year and are just living together now as of 4 months ago? And have been together for 9 years… that’s a red flag in itself.

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It ain’t rocket science folks, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck!!! Girl it is a DUCK. He is dipping in way to many ponds.

Dont take others word for it. Take off work a few days rent a car and a room and do your what is necessary. Its all there just look for it!!!

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Hmmmm. Not my husband

Girl, get the hell away from that mess.

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Sounds like he’s using you for a place to stay while he works through the week!

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Talk to him and find out why and let him know how you feel and if it doesn’t change or he doesn’t care…boy bye

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I’d be thinking he has someone else back home tbh…

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This whole post is concerning. Married 2 years but living together for only 4 months, he spends every weekend at his parents, his family won’t even speak to you……There is nothing about this that sounds okay.

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I leave him in a heart beat. You should come first. Not much of marriage.

You don’t have a husband. You have a boyfriend.

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What you just described isn’t a marriage, I don’t even know if you can classify it as dating, when do you even see him? I would say you can do way better than that

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