Should I call CPS on the family I babysit for?

Child Health
801

I am a school administrator. If you’re not a mandated reporter, then I challenge your integrity. It appears, by what you said, that you know he’s going without and doing without. We all spend money on our kiddos… I have a little girl I keep a brush and ponytail holders for in my desk drawer… She’s being raised by a single father who just doesn’t get the girl stuff… But he’s a hard worker and good provider for his kiddos. I have a mom who sends her boy to school without shoes and because she knows our policy on coming to school sick, she’ll give him something for fever and send him to expose other children. He’s presently being treated for Covid Delta. She didn’t even inform the school until 9 days after everyone’s last possible exposure. Fortunately, no one else contracted it.

Here’s the questions I ask myself, as a mandated reporter…

  1. Are there physical signs of abuse? Bruises, lots of accidents… That kind of thing.
  2. How does the baby interact with mom? Cry when time to go home? Doesn’t want to go… Like every time? (This is just an indicator…)
  3. How reliable is mom? Is she on time for pickup and drop off? Does she call if she’s going to be late? Does she hold down a job? Do you get paid on time or is she always putting your off or making partial payments and staying behind?
  4. When you say he’s dirty… Or not clean… By who’s standards are you measuring that?
  5. Is he fed? Normal weight and development? On target with his growth and development?

See… Here’s the thing… Questionable lifestyle choices does not equal bad parenting IN THE EYES OF THE LAW. We are all certainly entitled to our opinions… These are not choices I made as a parent and wouldn’t agreed to.

Seeing the pipe (a weed pipe?l… That’s not good. But she could just as easily say you’re lying. Marijuana is becoming mainstream… No matter what your opinion of it is.

Were the child in my school… And strictly based on what you said… I’m not sure I’d be ready to make that hotline call. And here’s why…

Right now, there’s a responsible set of eyes on him. If she finds out you called, she’ll take him elsewhere… And you don’t know if they’d be better or worse. Out of concern for the child, I’d be documenting everything. Dates, times, and get a witness. This is also when I’d make a home visit so I could get an idea of what’s going on. And then… I would have a conversation with mom. I’d say I’m seeing things that are concerning and I’d ask if she’s okay. If this baby is under 1, she could have untreated post partum depression.

And I don’t even know how old this mother is… But… People only know what they know. She might have been beaten and locked in a closet as a child… So she could think she’s doing better than what she got.

At this time… You’re in a position to be helpful to the baby and the situation. If you jump the gun and hotline… She could skip town and take him somewhere else that’s not so safe. In my opinion, hold off and see if you can get a better take on the whole situation.

As for his medical… If he’s having a medical emergency, (like an asthma attack or struggling to breathe) pick up the phone and call an ambulance. He can at least be seen by a physician in the ER before mom gets there. Ultimately, she’s responsible for the bill… So you can’t lose with that.

Now… If you get evidence of abuse or neglect… If mom abandons him, always late picking him up… That could be a hotline. If mom is having her own crisis, maybe she doesn’t know where to go for help in a new area. Try being a friend first… I think you’ll get farther that way. If he needs things… Contact local churches, shelters, thrift stores… They’ll usually donate clothes and stuff… Because it can get expensive trying to save the world.

You obviously have the care and concern… But let’s make moves with compassion. It’s hard for people everywhere right now… When you’re struggling to hold it together, the last thing you need is more obstacles.

In closing, I’ll say this to you. If at any time your feel that not taking action could lead this child’s harm or death, run to the nearest phone and make the call. But questionable parenting choices… unfortunately, people have to study a manual, pay a fee, and are policed just to drive on a road legally. But people can have all the babies they want and since we live in a free country and society… We don’t have any say in their parenting until they do something to lose that right.

And before I get a whole bunch of hate messages… I’m giving advice from a professional standpoint… Not my personal opinion.

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802

Ok if you’re stating all these facts and you obviously see something is wrong, why go to fb? For likes and attention? Are you genuinely concerned, then you should already have done something.

803

Child care workers in my state are mandated reporters. Make the call

804

Help him the best way you can,he needs your help.

805

Say something don’t be silent

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806

You answered your own question do the right tjing

807

Do the right thing. Dont think about hurting the “moms” feelings. Because if she was a real mother she wouldnt be doing this to her baby.

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808

I would have already taken him to a doctor to be honest if the mother has a problem because of that then ild take further action…she is not fulfilling basic needs/ duty of care for her own child that is soo wrong.

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809

I get that its concerning an such but I’d say mind ur own business. CPS only does more harm then good In most situations. If u see real signs of abuse then maybe but other wise feel it out.

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810

She honestly sounds like shes in over her head (and we all get there sometimes) and she needs help. Talk with her honestly and ask how you can help. You said she says she doesnt know what shes doinh. Sounds like she is askinh for help. Parenting is hard. Unless shes starving him or beatong him or leaving him to his own devices… As long as she loves her baby and wants to do whats best then just help her…

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811

Mind your own business!

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812

Get yourself a humidifier keep the baby safe when you can.

I’d call CPS

813

Help him do what u can… just ask if u can have him gggeeezzzz you’ll probably be doing her a favour

814

Help however you czn.

815

I would report that. That baby needs to see a doctor and the mom has to quit smoking in the house and car with that child. :sob:

816

I wouldn’t cal CPS now. She may need to establish insurance or something. I’d document him daily with video of his wheezing. Then I’d tell her about YOUR doctor for your kid and ask if she has insurance and you would be happy to take him to your doctor who is amazing. You stated she said she doesn’t know what she is doing, tell her you would be happy to help her and getting that kid established with a doctor is vital. And also suggest she sign a paper making it legal for you to take him for medical care with her written permission…. That way you CAN legally take him to the doctor.
If it continues and she isn’t giving meds or whatever I’d seriously ask her if she would give you guardianship over the kid while she gets sorted out since you are available 24/7 and can attend his medical needs

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817

Calling cps is a bit extreme, I would just take the baby to the dr and be there for as much as possible parenting isn’t the easiest and honestly marijuana is probably her coping mechanism. If she’s not abusing the baby it’s not worth getting the authorities involved

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818

Don’t call cps. Keep communicating with the mother. It sounds like she’s taking care of this kid by herself. It’s hard as fuck, especially in this pandemic. Just do what you can to assist. Keep an eye on the kid. If the kid doesn’t have any physical or emotional signs of neglect or abuse, leave government officials out of it. It sucks living in poverty and cps just makes everything worse for those families.

819

Give the mother an ultimatum either take him to the doctor or you will

820

It sounds like she’s taking on more than she can handle. Be a friend. Especially if you yourself have a child and know how hard parenting can be. I’d talk to her, seriously. Voice your concerns but ask her how you can help. Explain you want what’s best for them. See how that goes & go from there.
P.S. - thank you for helping the baby. :heart::heart:

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821

I would help the poor child and bring him to the doctor! He’s innocent and deserves medical attention if he needs it!

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822

On one hand you could educate. Help this mother find resources. Explain the possible reprocussions of smoking in closed areas with the baby, not just the babies health but the potential for some one to take it upon themselves to call dhs and destroy her family.

So many willing to just throw this child to the wolves…
Makes me sick to my stomach… so many perfect patents… would love to take a stroll through your closets see what skeletons pop out that I find inappropriate as a parent.

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823

Sounds like you should not babysit.

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824

The child comes first. You need to report it.

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825

Speak to her properly about ur concerns and 8f she dosent then do anything ring cps she may he struggling being a single parent ect it can be challenging or mayve something else she may aprciate it in the long run cps won’t take her child unless there concerned so either way ur doing right thing and that means she’ll also get the help she may need

826

If mom can give u written consent for medical treatment while in your care that would be easiest, then u can help the little fella out, sounds like your doing what’s best already continue that path, and help a mother in need aswell

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827

Calling the state rarely ends well for the child. I would try to educate the mom but if she doesn’t seem interested in taking care of him, then (if you wanted to take on another child) I would see about taking him in if she would let you. Taking him to the dr is important but they’re also legally obligated to call the state on negligent parents.

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828

The child comes first. I would try to stay away from calling CPS but if it means you have to call CPS, so be it.

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829

CPS also works with parents on parenting and can provide resources. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. This child needs your help. As a child care provider you are a mandatory reporter. How badly would you feel is something g happens to this child. If mom gets upset she will get over it. The safety of this child needs to be your first priority.

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830

You could always contact cps for any programs that she would benefit from, sounds like she’s struggling and needs help, and be shown/taught certain things. I’m not saying call them on her, bit ask for some info of what’s out there for single mothers. They will help her, and educate her on parenting

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831

Poor baby call cps hopefully that baby gets help poor baby!!

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832

Cps rarely actually help a child it just fucks up their life more!! Dont do it, help her!!

833

Cps is a failed system they never do anything about anything but to harass ppl who are actually innocent. I would talk to her and convince her to let u take him to the doctor or her go with.

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834

Honestly call an ambulance followed my cps if he’s at your house and his breathing is awful. I had something similar I was watching a prem babe and she wasn’t breathing right I repeatedly told the mother and she continued to say “she’s fine”. She stopped breathing on me. I was trying to breathe into her little mouth while the ambulance was arriving. She survived she had bronchitis…
You will never ever forgive yourself if something happens to that kid… CALL someone ANYONE. Be that kids voice!

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835

If you are not the parent of a minor the doctor or hospital cannot treat the child unless they have parental consent. Maybe she doesn’t have medical insurance. Suggest she take the child to urgent care. You don’t know what she’s going through so see if she will confide in you.

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836

I’d report it. It might wake her up and want to change. Life is hard and didn’t come with a handbook or a parent handbook. Maybe she needs some guidance to get professional help to better her and her child/children life

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837

To be honest is you actually seen a pipe then clearly she’s on drugs and if you even try to talk with her she’ll block it out because people are gonna do what they want to do, if the baby is at risk for health issues or in any danger then you should def take him to the dr or call someone else to come in and help. It no longer matters what the mother is feeling of her kid is j being taken care of and is getting worse :disappointed: kids come first no matter what or who’s feelings get hurt. PERIOD.

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838

Take the child to ER on the facts that he cant breathe. If the hospital feels like there neglect of the child then they will take action. You can also ask to speak to the hospitals social worker about your concerns for the child and they may investigate the situation first.

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839

I would report it because as far as I’m aware, if you’re not the parent of a child and don’t have permission to take him to the doctor then you can’t. Your best bet in this situation is to call CPS in your area and explain the situation. Maybe ask CPS if you can take the poor baby into your care if you’re willing to, given that you’re already buying him stuff while he’s at your house

840

Please call CPS. They do not immediately remove child. They will work with the mother to resolve the issues and btw your call and report is always confidently. COS is trained to assess the risk and even if they determine removal is necessary, still cannot do so without a court order. I know how it works as I used to be a CPS worker.

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841

Marijuana is healthy. Tobacco smoke is not healthy.

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842

We had this problem it’s so heart breaking cps got involved and now we don’t see the kids at all

843

Step up get help seems like they both need it.KD.

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844

Take the kid to the doc, even if u just act like the mum, i doubt shel even care. And growl her… give her the watups.

845

Cps? Is for children not being fed and beat etc😬

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846

Do what you need to do! This child is suffering! Fuck the mother! She obviously doesn’t care about her child

847

You need to report it and seek advice,sounds like child is at risk

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848

Talk to her first tell your willing help if nothing changes then call

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849

Refusing to get your child medical care if reportable. Often prior to a child being removed they will try to intervene- connect lol to services — get kid clothes a proper care a- medical care etc. call.

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850

You could always call rescue for the child that way he’s being seen and then mom will have to chalk up to what’s going on and you can tell them before hand :woman_shrugging:t3:

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851

Straight to AaE don’t muck around save the baby please

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852

She leaves him with you….Call an ambulance say it was an emergency and let them document and address it…

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853

Apply to be a foster parent and the file to CPS so he stays in caring hands. She is obviously neglecting the child and respiratory issues can become cardiac issues if he gets into sever distress. You need to be that child’s voice. Good luck

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854

What are the Marijuana laws in your state? If it’s medical or recreational you’re being a jerk. Not only has she said she is no longer smoking around the kid. Her stuff will always smell because she smokes. Always. Plus she could easily grow her own, have friends or family who do, or mow the neighbors yard for grass.

Unless she is actually neglecting the child - which none of this sounds like - you should continue to babysit and support a struggling single mother.
If the kid shows up under prepared, help her find resources.

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855

Totally different situation,but should get into a dangerous breathing pattern could you,as the caretaker, of the child be held accountable for any harm he might endure. Would not that be negligence on your part. All caretakers of children should be given written permission by the parent to seek medical assistance for the children they keep. This situation is very troubling on many levels

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856

Do it. Protect the child. Mom doesnt seem like she cares. Maybe she needs extra support? I smoke and smoke weed but not in the house, not in the car, bc my childrens health comes first. Ill smoke outside in minus 40 weather before i smoke in the house.

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857

If you stop watching him and don’t do anything your ignoring a baby in distress…if you feel as though a child is being neglected or not taken care of properly then you have every right to call child services, you are involved and seeing what this baby’s mum’s addiction is doing to the child so clearly she isn’t fit to be a mother. Good luck!!

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858

Cps. I don’t say that lightly, but when a child is truly in danger, as the situation you are describing, it is your place as an adult to step in and ensure something is done for the safety of the child. Children can not speak for themselves and only continue to suffer. Thank you for caring and looking out for this baby!

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859

I’m probably going to go against the grain here and I suggest you talk to the mum and offer her support… its to easy to make presumptions and she could be struggling with depressions etc
Having docs in her life or removing her child may have very negative repercussions
I think offering her and the baby support needs to be done before calling docs

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860

Please please please report this

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861

Don’t give up on him. Get him help. Call CPS and find out what they carb do to assist.

862

Ambulance to AnE, let the doctors call DCS, they’d have more pill with DCS.

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863

Legally you can’t take him to the doctor cause your not his parents but u can call for a welfare check to see whats going on. All you can do is report it

864

Yes,call…they can give parenting classes, at the very least they’ll see to it that she brings the child to the doctors. They do not punish mother because she poor.
It’s hard being a single parent with no help, especially if in a low paying job…:heart:

865

If shes in a legal state there is absolutely nothing that will be done about the pot smoking. Does his mom actually realize she needs to take him to a doctor? The woman is clueless and can maybe use some guidance since you seem to know what your doing. She may have postpartum issues, who knows. Also, consider the consequences of calling dcfs…baby could end up in foster care way worse off.

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866

Do what u need to help the baby with or with out the moms help its her choice if she wants to cooperate with u if she doesnt get the authorities involved

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867

If breathing is bad take baby to ER. The hospital will call her and probably get a social worker involved. Baby must come first…

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868

Don’t know that I’d call an agency, once you get started in that system it’s horrible. The baby is obviously suffering though and the mother doesn’t understand the consequences of her actions. Maybe a firm but gentle talk with her? If you can get that baby a proper car seat and ask the mother to not smoke around the baby. At least give her a chance for improvement before calling the police or a government agency, maybe three days to a week. Also a current address in case she doesn’t return with the baby.

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869

CPS you need to report it!

870

If you’re worried about being the one to report, present to the ER for the breathing and ask the nursing staff to do it.

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871

Rsv for babies is running rapid. Let her know that. The baby may have it

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872

I’d take him to the hospital ER. From there make a report with the staff and the PD they will call out. They will get CPS involved from there. Defin dont abandon him

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873

Isn’t illegal to smoke in the vehicle with a child under 18

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874

Could be RSV my baby just had it. Needs a nebulizer and Albuterol

875

Not your fucking kid move along

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876

Next time you watch that baby take him straight to hospital/er!! Better to be safe, inform them he’s been that way for awhile and I’m sure you can even confidentialy inform them of your worries etc, it’ll all go into their report and what happens from there is sadly out of your control x

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877

If breathing is bad ER and explain your concerns

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878

Ask the mom for the childs info and show her her child isn’t okay and needs to be seen. If she won’t then for the childs sake you either take into the ER and let them know the situation (they WILL call child services) or you call child services and let them take the child. Her best bet would be to take your advice and TRY to be a mother or lose her child…

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879

Always, always speak up for children. He is suffering medically and obviously from neglect as well. It is our job to protect to the innocent and you must be his voice for him. Protect that baby and do right by him.

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880

You should ask mom one more time if you can help take the child to the doctor. Explain that you think it’s getting worse. You can you even explain that you and your child have asthma so you understand kind of what this feels like.

After that if she still declines I would have someone else step in because that’s child neglect to not take your child to the doctor especially if she is seeing him get worse every day.

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881

Maybr when baby is dropped off call a unit to your house so they can evaluAte him and give you further instructions and after that well that person may or may not want to talk to you anymore so idk. But really as long as you did something to help that’s it because honestly the rest is out of your control and even if she stopped smoking the smell would still be there since the pipe and other stuff is in there plus I am sure she will not take time to clean her car and have it steamed for the smell. Idk. Maybe see if you can help her get off it or what makes her do that and help idk.

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882

That’s a very tough situation to be in. It may be uncomfortable but God forbid something serious happen to him, I’m sure you would feel guilt for the rest of your life. Be that child’s advocate! Maybe God put you in his life for a reason.

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883

This needs to be reported. As a caregiver, you have a legal obligation to report any type of suspected abuse.

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884

Take him to the ER and tell them what’s going on! If you want to keep watching the child just tell the mother that you had no other choice but to go to ER bc he couldn’t breathe! The hospital will call cps if you don’t want to get involved! Just know that once you do this the mother will stop you from watching him so if you are ok with that then Definitely Take him to the ER and make sure they call CPS! He needs someone to speak for him, no one else will do you have to! If you are asthmatic you know how it feels not to breathe! I would of already tried giving him albuterol to see if it helped :woman_shrugging:t2:

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885

Sit her down an talk with her fully you may find she’s struggling an feels like she can’t cope, talk to her about taking them both to the Dr as her support person

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886

CALL the ER and they will tell you how to proceed. They have social workers who can help to protect the baby and yourself. Don’t do this on your own. There is a right way to do this; and for the baby’s sake, you need to take the time to ask for help. I was social worker (now retired) who dealt with cases like this all the time.

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887

Document everything and then call CPS. Even everything you buy to provide him with. I would also go to the hospital if the breathing is getting worse.
In the mean time. I would buy chest rub and an air purifier. You can get things over the counter as well that might help with he’s breathing. Also giving him a bath as soon as he gets to mine and dress him in clean clothes that I brought. I would then place he’s clothes and any other clothes that were packed into the wash and dry them so he goes back in the clothes he came in but, they are clean because they were washed.

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888

You know if people would offer to help or support a mother struggling to do it all herself rather then calling CPS and getting children taken away and ripping family’s apart the world would be a much better place but no everyone likes bashing single mothers on fb rather then offering help . You are so judgemental .
CPS hurts kids more then helps .
Why dont you sit down an talk to the mom and not just assume she doesn’t care at all you’re not a mother .
So how dare you judge one .
Smh I said what I said

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889

I’d try to talk to her about the wheezing. If she buffs you then the Next time your watching him just load him up and take him to the ER. When they start asking questions just tell them your the babysitter and the mom is unreachable at work. Tell her the wheezing got real bad and you had no choice but to take him. The hospital will make the call if they feel it necessary.

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890

Er. If that doesnt help then cps

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891

Ok, as some who has had CPS called on me, DO IT! CPS isn’t there to take kids. It’s there to help families. They will get her the support she NEEDS. They will get her resources. They will help her. There are horror stories out there, but nine times out of ten they do their vests to keep families together and just try to make the situation a better one for the kid.

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892

Always speak for children ESPECIALLY when they cannot speak for themselves

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893

I would for sure call CPS

894

Take the child to the ER. They are mandated reports (as are you doing child care) but their connections are far better and it will be out of your hands. The child will get the proper medical care and the mother doesn’t have to approve it

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895

If you see it you say something! Don’t you dare let that child suffer any longer than necessary

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896

Try to help
Her and get info to take him to dr

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897

The baby comes first, the baby always needs to come first, take that baby to be seen, see if there is an issue. Then report it. The child is the priority, its safety and well-being.

898

Give her an ultimatum. Either she takes baby in to doctor or you are reporting her for neglect.

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899

You do not have the right to take the child to a doctor or er because you are not the parent and it is not an emergency. You could offer to help this parent so that the family will not be ripped apart. Yes you can report your observations to DYS and have the child taken away from the parent. It would be kinder for the child and the mother to offer help with a car seat or clothing or money to pay for a doctor’s visit. The child will end up in a foster home taken away from her parents. Sad situation all around.

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900

Why are you even putting this on fb. You know what to do for the health and safety of the child.

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