Should I confront my husband about what I found on his phone?

I need some guidance. I’m a 24 year old stay at home mom to a 3 year old and I’m 30 weeks pregnant with twins. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and I think I’ve fallen out of love with him. He’s a great man. He works hard and provides for us. Our marriage isn’t great though. We only have sex once a month even though I beg for it. Couple weeks ago I found out he was looking at “perfect t*ts” on Reddit while at work. We fought for a few days and he told me he wanted to take a break. I didn’t want to at the time but now I think I do. I’m not sure what to do. Should I tell him or try to work it out alone?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Shold I confront my husband about what I found on his phone?

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If your already feelin this way then I’d tell him how you’re feeling, it maybe hard at first but you need to focus on your health an happiness

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Never stay together for the kids. If you already know how you feel and have to ask you know the answer.

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Please go seek counseling! Marriage should not be disposable it takes work!
You’ll have 3 littles under 5 how will you support them? What kind of life will they have? Think long and hard before you give up!

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Seems like he’s clocked out of your marriage, you can suggest counseling, but it’s not going to work if one person doesn’t want it to.

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Marriage is ment to fix the broken things Hun .to love each other and to forgive .communicate .

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You don’t have feelings for him it don’t make sense staying an both of you miserable

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Why would it matter anyways since you’ve openly admitted to falling out of love with him… stop trying to save a marriage if you don’t love your partner anymore don’t stay just cause of the kids. The kids will feel the stress and tension in the home due to it. And stop having sex with him if you’ve fallen out of love with him.

I think his request to “take a break” means he has someone else in mind, and there’s likely no motivation to fix anything…

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Look guys watch po rn it’s what they do. It’s not like he was talking to another woman and getting noods. If you really want to make it work you will. I think your hearts not in it so you’re looking for a reason to leave. I also feel like it hurts because he’s not touching you right now. Talk to him, tell him how you feel without fighting. If you want to leave then do it.

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This is the hardest time. If you guys can make it through until the kids are all at least 6, you’ll likely be so much better off! Go to counseling, try if you can to make it work. If when the kids get older you are still not in love or if you really feel like you can’t come out of this, let him know and ensure your families stability by creating a parenting plan.

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If you’re unhappy because of what he’s done, don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be. P*rn is not and should not be viewed as a normal thing that “all guys do”. That’s total bs. The truth is, every relationship is different. Some people are okay with that stuff and some aren’t. If your husband has done something which he knows has intentionally hurt you, he is at fault, PERIOD. He’s already asked for a break so that shows he’s unwilling to even try to work things out. Idk about you, but I don’t do “breaks”. I’m in or out. If you think time apart can bring your relationship back then go for it. If you’re already feeling doubtful and like you want to move on from this unhappiness, do that. Don’t feel bad about your decision. This isn’t anyone else’s relationship.

My one, solid, resounding piece of advice is this: Don’t stay together simply because you share children. That’s always the worst mistake you can make in these situations and ends up hurting them.

Best of luck to you :heart:

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If you take a “break” from your marriage how will you fix it? Marriage is a lot of work. And good marriages don’t take breaks when there are issues relationships absolutely need and take love but it takes more than love to have a strong relationship to have a strong and lasting marriage. if you’re going to take a break all that tells me is you and him don’t or aren’t willing to roll up your sleeves and put in the work to fix whatever is wrong between the two of you and keep your marriage strong. nobody can make you guys do that but you guys. Good luck

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If you don’t live him why stay with him? It sounds like both of you are fine with each other and he’s just trying to find a way to occupy his time

has a 3 yr old, also twins on the way and he wants a break, what a cheek he has.

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Searching for perfect tits? Heck probably 50% of women do that. I wouldn’t worry about that. If he wants to take a break… not good. If it goes south sue him for child support and he can stick it!!

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Leave him he sucks and is clearly a jerk throw the whole idiot away

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Breaks are only for KitKats. Your marriage is over.

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Sounds like you don’t have a say, that he has already made his mind up. He wants a break so he has already checked out and

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If he provides you better think long and hard about deciding.

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Think about it. Are you financially stable?? Will he pay child support, starting now ?? It sounds like counseling is needed

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Neither of you sound committed, poor kids

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You’re pregnant please wait until at least a year until after you give birth… trust me I don’t want anything to do with mine sometimes then I’m obsessed. It happens.

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Take a break? He should of thought of that before 3 babies were involved. Honestly it’s not a break you need it’s some communication and understanding and maybe some time together like you both used to have. And pretty much just sounds like the honey moon stage is over not that you don’t love him. Rekindling is what you both need. I wouldn’t worry about what you found on his phone at this time. If he wants a break while you’re pregnant he may as well March his stupid butt to the child support support office and get his assets figured out now because he’s only saying this because he doesn’t want to pay you child support and wants to string you along. Don’t let him do that. It’s either you’re together or you’re not. And if you’re together then he needs to work on it with you. Couples counseling could help maybe give you ideas what you can do together and also help you to communicate. But smack him upside the head and tell him there is no break it’s either one or the other.

I would sit down and discuss what a break means for both of you. Is he using it as a pass to sleep with someone else? Or does he intend on using this break to rediscover what he loves about you and why you got married in the first place?

Personally I don’t think brakes and marriages really do much but make you realize that you were happier without the other parent around. However each couple is different.

I also know that when I’ve been pregnant myself I am much more resentful of my partners than when I am not pregnant.

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Why are you going through his browser history?
Why can’t he look at nice tits online?
I mean if your marriage is that shitty you’re both ready to walk away over some Internet boobs looks like you already know the answer

He is already checked out

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You really need to do some soul searching and listen to your intuition on your situation. Also sit down and fully communicate with one another. Do this without fighting, without listening to respond but rather listen to understand & come to a mutual agreement on what the next steps in your marriage should be.

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ATTENTION women who say “ITS JUST PORN! ALL MEN WATCH PORN!”
Yall are wrong! There are still alot of men and women who DO NOT watch porn, period. Your man watching porn IS NOT “Normal” for those of us that don’t agree with it. Stop pushing the agenda that women should just let it go! To each there own! We don’t have to accept it, period! I think porn or having fantasies about other women/men is cheating if you are in a committed relationship, especially marriage . I only want to see my man :muscle: and I want his eye on me only.

A break? There are no breaks in marriage. You’re either married or you’re not. Sounds to me like he’s separated already. Dump him. Yes, I know you’re pregnant and most states won’t give you a divorce until you deliver your babies, but I wouldn’t wait long after that. It sounds to me like he’s already cut another pony from the herd and has saddled up.

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Whatever if he’s giving you what you need let him look not worth the fights over dumb ish if you truly care about each other.

I gave up even looking years ago as it’s just not worth going for trouble

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Breaks should not be allowed in marriages gives them the opportunity to do whatever a single person does and not have to take responsibility…if he wants a break from you after you finding out what you did he just wants to cheat then come back and half ass everything and have the best of both worlds. Separate but let him know you may not get back together if he decides it

OMG… over pictures on the internet?! Hope you can dig yourself out of the whole you dug… it’s probably just pregnancy hormones… try telling him that :cry:

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I’d wait until after ur pregnancy is over and kids a bit older. There’s something about the hormones and even attraction changes cuz hormones changed while pregnant. It’s a real thing. (When on birth control our pheromones change…also when pregnant. So if u wanna truly know “ chemistry” u have to kiss eachother and pheromones “ scent and kiss test “ will tell u)
Also, raising children either brings u closer or farther apart. It’s really hard. Especially with twins. I’m a twin. Wait to see if this bonds both of u. Also waiting to be financially stable.
Certainly not acceptable for what he did. Although it’s fixable if he really wants to make it work. Many times u wanna call it quits. Marriage is hard but if he keeps doing Scandalous acts it’s not worth it. This should be the only chance. No more ! He has to grow up-bringing kids into this world.

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You are 24 with a 3 year old and twins on the way, you both are exhausted and probably not getting much time together being a couple. You’re just being parents and not partners. Taking a break isn’t really an option when married with kids, you either work through it or you don’t. Breaks only make things worse especially if one of you trails off to someone else for a hookup or whatever. Also pregnancy causes a lot of emotions and strange feelings, tons of women say they found their spouses repulsive while pregnant and didnt understand why then after baby was born they found the love again. Just talk it out calmly. I wouldn’t even talk about the pics as of yet. Talk about each other as a couple

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I would say you both need to take a good look in the mirror and fix your shit. You both sound dim.

People give up on marriage to easily any more work yur problems out first

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You should work it out with your husband, not alone. Pregnancy makes you think differently, it makes you feel differently. Did you have to beg before you became pregnant? Or after? He could be freaking out about twins, double everything or extra stressed, could be alot of reasons behind his actions as well. Getting upset and the angered and fighting never solves anything, regardless of the topic. Don’t beg him for sex though or anything else. That’s a turn off for anyone, male or female. Maybe just calmly talk to him and ask him if y’all can’t start dating again? It’s hard with toddlers and being pregnant, he probably knows that, he probably knows it’s about to be even harder for a while, but the baby/toddler years may seem to last forever, but they actually go by very quickly. Personally, since you are 30 weeks pregnant and hormones are way out of wack, I’d really try and let them return to normal before ending my marraige, you may actually love him more than you think. I know when I was tired and miserable pregnant, I disliked a lot of ppl and things due to that, nothing more. I was exhausted both mentally and physically, once hormones started evening out and I started feeling more myself I realized that was the case. This is your family, think long and hard about your decision. Of course I know we only got a small portion of the marraige. So, think, pray, make sure you are really done and not in love with him, if and when you tell him that, that’s hard to come back from. Ultimately, you are the only one that really knows or can decide if a break is what’s best for you and your marraige. Staying in it or leaving. Dating also is hard, especially when you throw in children, so pick your hard. Best wishes for you and your babies!

if you have fallen out of love with him then you should probably leave. you both deserve happiness.

I think you need to focus on your babies and let the future tell. However, by the way you are both acting this marriage is ending.
You have 2 options, firstly both of you decide to work on your marriage, or secondly is time to say goodbye and move on with your lives.
Just don’t stay because of the kids, as in the future you will end up hurting both you and the children more. If they grow up now with both of you separate, they will accept it and not even think about it. As they are only babies.

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Y’all are both checked out it seems :disappointed:

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It’s probably just a pregnancy thing

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You’re carrying twins, congratulations :clap: now about your husband,sounds like you’re guys are sick of each other,time to move on,I reckon.

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