Should I cut my sister off or forgive her?

If you don’t feel comfortable being around her right now it’s totally okay to continue to have some space. I personally would let it go after a while.

What she did isn’t ok. But it seems your sister has a lot going on. Maybe ask her if she’s okay? There is a reason she doesn’t trust her family and reason why she feels attacked. You have every right to have boundaries and voice them to her moving forward. If she crosses those boundaries you can choose to step away.

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She needs mental health referral

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Toxic family has to be kept at a safe distance.

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The moment my child got involved I would straight out been like nope bye until u act right nope u needa stay away from us my child comes first I’m dealing with the fathers sister and sis in law threatening to come at me while I’m pregnant and right after I have my daughter and I’ve told them nope yall can stay the hell away from us until yall act like adults cause I won’t have my child near that

Getting rid of toxic people in your life is a good thing. Even if they are related.

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She said she’s sorry so ball is in your court. It’s up to you on what you’re going to do. Idk if you pray but pray about it and go from there. Hope for the best

NTA cut ties n move on

Toxic is toxic, blood or not. Move along and keep your self peace.

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She should have taken her anger out on the sister who didn’t leave her bf home! She is the one who betrayed “the girls trip”!!! Why did no one say anything to her??? If that had happened to me I would have just left. Rented a car and went home.

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I went thru some fake, snake, childish shit with mine & it’s fuck em from here on out. I don’t give up on people easy so it was shit that was just adding up

Definitely not condoning the unfortunate series of events that took place but, usually when someone lashes out (especially towards a loved one) you will find it’s nothing to do with you or whatever has happened! It says more about them, their issues & possibly that there’s something going on in their life they are struggling with! May have been a cry for help……
Regardless if it’s a family member, friend, neighbour, work mate or just a random person, a toxic person &/or relationship is not worth sacrificing your mental health & happiness….Having & maintaining healthy boundaries is an important part of anyone’s self respect! The only person’s actions, reactions & decisions you can control are your own! only you can decide when a line has been crossed……
I guess the question you need to ask yourself is……

Is this out of character?
What is your relationship normally like & Are you usually close with this person?
Is it a relationship/friendship worth saving?
Can you live with your choice long term??
Life is way too short to dwell on the small stuff, single events or situations that won’t even matter or remember in 3 months!!

Good luck, I really hope you make the right decision :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You can let that go but always he weary .You or your child truly doesn’t need the drama.
I personally would keep my distance until I feel comfortable. Then all of you can meet and discuss what transpired. Your sister seem to have family trust issues.
Mom knew why she said a girls outing only.
It is not good enough to be going off on whatever then coming afterwards and claiming to be missing you. That doesn’t wash really.
Just saying sorry and I miss you and what about another episode? No! Not good enough.

I’m different I would beat her $&#@ for disrespecting my child then make sure she knows her place and make sure she don’t treat ppl like that lesson learn JS :innocent:… toxic ppl need to learn sometimes :revolving_hearts:

She needs help, professional.

All of you need to grow tf up!

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30-something and can’t have a girl’s time away without a man? SMH!

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Go and see her on your own in a place for a cupa if you don’t and any thing happen you wish you done it it the one who took her boy friend with her so do the nice thing and see her for a cupa in a place

Family or not if someone toxic keep them out ya life !!! What’s saying she won’t pull that shit again?? She got some proper issues going on!! She needs deal with them !! Like her paranoia for starters!!!

Forgive but dont Forget…family is family…but tread lite with her…she didn’t care of u had ur baby n ur hands she was still ready 2 act a fool…TREAD LITELY AROUND HER…

Please forgive her. If it happens again you can reevaluate.

Wow, something is happening in your sister’s life that is not pleasant, I have had fights with my sisters and we ended up not speaking to one another for months, eventually we made up. This is my opinion based on my experience. I would meet her halfway, but, you both need to work this out, if you continue with the relationship and don’t address this issue, it will fester like a sore, and it will be infected with every little misunderstanding. Life is short and holding grudges takes energy.

Just stay away from those toxic people

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I don’t forgive people just because"family"

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If it happened awhile ago …i would forgive…but not forget. Give a second chance…but if she continues to make arguements over petty stuff…or ever threatens violence again…then cutoff for good.

Hell no! Cut those toxic ties and move along. She’s psycho.

Blood doesn’t make family that’s just DNA if I were you I’d leave things the way they are. Especially if this is a regular pattern for your sister.

I go back and forth with people in my family. I definitely don’t believe that your family HAS to stay your family if they’re toxic. In my family, there are many people with mental health issues both treated and untreated. It gets difficult to navigate at times, but I’ll be damned if I’m keeping myself and my child in a situation that’s toxic and potentially dangerous. I’m very selective of who we see, when, and for how long.

Family will always be your family … and you will always love each other … but that doesn’t mean you have to like each other … or hang out … or even trust each other.

I had 2 sisters … both now deceased. I was very close with one, and had to keep the other at an arm’s distance. It didn’t mean I didn’t love her just as much as I loved my other family members … I just couldn’t trust her. Without going into a lot of detail, let’s say I learned to love, I learned to forgive and let go, and by doing so I was able to have a relationship with her on my own terms. I never let my guard down … and if I had, I would have blamed myself & not her. Learning to accept people for who they are is a life lesson. Good luck, and I honestly wish you the best of luck.

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I went through some childish stuff with my younger sister and her boyfriend I would fill up their gas tank so they could get to work at the time I was only making a $300 paycheck every 2 weeks and to fill up their car was $100 and I never asked for the money back and she would ask me for more money all the time and again I never asked for the money back well one day when I really couldnt afford to give them money because of my sons birthday they decided to show up at my house on his birthday and tell me how i never do anything for them and so I told her if thats the case I want all my money back her boyfriend then swang at me with a crowbar luckily I ducked and he ran like a little girl when he realized I was coming after him to fight back needless to say I dont talk to her anymore anytime I see her at family events she tries her hardest to talk to me and I pretend shes not there I will not let my kids go within an arms distance of them all my family thinks im childish for it but I see it as protecting my family so if you feel you need to cut her off then do so you know Whats best for you and your family

Seeing that this is the first time this happened, I would give her another chance. I don’t think one time that one lost it, should define the 32years of relationship you built.

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You always get hurt the worst by people you love! I would forgive her but not forget. I wouldn’t give her the chance to treat you like that again. Keep her at arms length! You can be cordial to her but draw a line and she must not cross it!

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Trust your gut feeling

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I haven’t talk to my sister in 10 years, and I don’t even miss her! She is a drunk!

God gave us relatives, but thank God we can choose our friends!!!

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Forgive , not for her but for you still keep your distance/guard up and see if she means she is sorry . Either things will slowly come together or stay apart . Family is family but you don’t have to put up with anything you don’t want to family or not , you have a child to think about and seems like you do .

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Family can be just as bad and even more toxic. However, with that being said, only you know if she is truly toxic and bad for you and your daughter. Was this an isolated thing or is this a sort of thing that happens often? Is she someone you miss? Do you trust her with you and your daughters lives?
Personally, for the sake of family events, I think I would attempt to talk to her, on your terms not hers, no children, and have a very open and honest conversation about what she did, why she felt like you would do that, and how you feel. Only then will you be able to figure out if you can move past this… best of luck

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Life’s too short, let it go.

Was it it mum who sed put down your baby or your sister ???.can’t work it out x

Forgive for what is done Forget none

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family members that act that way dont change but theyt do put on a front to get there way so they can do it again.

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You are the only one that knows when or if you want to forgive her. If you’re still unsure, stay away. Tell her you just need your space for now. The fact that she did that in front of your child is bad. So that would keep me at a distance. But just tell her you’re not ready right now. Be honest with her. You’re upset about what she did and right now, you need time.

Wow! No way! The children should not see family act around like that! Your mother should know better and come on! Time to grow up. Just stay away. Your daughter don’t need trauma from that! Plus you know how your family are so make decision and listen your gut what is best for your family especially the children! If she threaten to beat you then think how she would do to your children when she snap. She need therapist even your mom!

If you feel she’s toxic for yourself and family by all means leave her be.I had to do the same with my sister. I mentally couldn’t handle it anymore. So it was best for me that she and I not be around one another.

Forgive her she was in a bad place just let her know that behavior will not be tolerated in the future

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Your sister is human just like you. She may not have handled the situation like you would have so its up to you to forgive her. It probably isn’t a new rivalry between you…it probably years in the making. You aren’t above low living or behaving so a little less self righteousness would go a long way. I’ve got family members that have shut me out without a fight to blame. But I will heal the wound between us by loving forbearance.Try it it may build the family bond not destroy it.

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Your sister your choice. What does your gut tell ya! :+1:t3::face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Nope you do what you gotta do for you and your child. I’ve left family for less than that.

I dont like the fact that she so quickly wanted to fight all while holding your child…kids dont forget.

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Leopards don’t change their spots it’s their genetic makeup neither do people. If your sister has always been the same why would she have changed
Forgive but don’t line up for another dose

Sounds like she was on drugs. Certain drugs make u paranoid and violent. Now she may be clean and realizes what she did. Talk to her and see what the TRUTH is.

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Sounds like a narcissist!

Meet on neutral ground. Listen to her apology, explain how hurt you were by her behaviour and try to forgive her. Keep in contact but tread warily. I am wondering whether there was an issue with her boyfriend being extremely jealous and insisting on going along on your trip? Maybe your sister has anger management issues that she needs to deal with? You will only know if you talk to her. You can re-evaluate later if you need to but allowing your problem to fester will only make both of you feel worse.

You can forgive if you believe her, but NEVER forget!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I cut my sister off or forgive her? - Mamas Uncut

Can forgive someone while at the same time not trusting and staying away from their dysfunctional bullshit.

Toxic is toxic wether its family or not. She shouldn’t have gone to the extreme she did. Tell her you forgive her, if you do, and leave it at that. You don’t need to put in effort for that relationship. Maybe when she grows up some, then you both could rekindle sisterhood.

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Hello toxic family member…
Sister or not…I’d distance myself. Not stable. Nor would I want my children exposed to her.

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Maybe accept the apology but keep her at a safe distance? Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting :woman_shrugging: Good Luck!

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I cut my sister out of my life for 2.5 years. She was Pregnant at the time. But her husband was abusive towards her son from another relationship, he was using drugs and abusive towards her. It was a big fight. She had her baby, and I didn’t even get to see pictures. So my stipulation on letting her back into my life was that she leave him. She finally did. And the first thing she did was call me. Now I’m babysitting for her and all that but it was a hard two years because we were always close. But I had to do it. Just remember that sometimes its what needs to be done.

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Have you and your sister had issues like this before? My sister and I haven’t spoken in years (I’ve tried) and I miss her but at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you and your kiddo. If you choose to reconnect with your sister, I would recommend maybe not having your baby around.

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I wouldn’t stop talking to her over a fight or an accusation
I mean what if she dies tomorrow would you be ok with her not around and never have made up

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Nope stay away she may act again of she doesn’t get her way again.

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Sisters fight and argue… if she is truly sorry then move on. My sister gets emotional and acts crazy sometimes… I just distance my self until she apologizes and we move on. I love my sister and there is no way I would stop being there for her. You guys just had a fight…

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Seventy times seven…

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It depends on how long ago it was. She may have grown up.

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see ya sister replace with a friend

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Let it go. This is all beyond childish.
You dont have to be best friends. But it only hurts you to hold on to it.

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I don’t see anything wrong w/ just talking to her first and feeling things out. I mean behaviourlike that is just unacceptable and immature family or not. Who knows ~ she may actually be sorry but you won’t know that if you don’t at least talk to her

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Nah. I caught off a sister last year who barely wanted to establish a relationship with me 3 years ago. But at her convenience when I’d take her kids.
She got married, we weren’t going cause covid. I told her that.
Night before her wedding I reminded her I was not going cause she sent me all these messages about day of.
My sons grandma went to er that same night, who’s a huge person in his life as opposed to my sister.
She says
“So? Not like you can get in the hospital, if she dies you can go later”
Uhm, his grandmas don’t speak good English and I help them. It’s the only elders he really has that he loves.
FINALLY got to burn that bridge and unload.
She was also mad I wouldn’t let her kids hide out at my home while cps investigated her.

Cut the tie. Its not “family is family” that’s old toxic behavior. And we’re making better for our children.

You and your sister need to get some boxing gloves on pad up and get in the ring. Slog it out…Hug then be done with it and move on. Family is family.

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Blood makes you related loyalty makes you family

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If its a one off then make up, if it’s something she does alot then distance yourself

She needs a psych evaluation. She sounds unstable or is this like how she runs normally? She going through something? She sounds super unhinged. I ain’t got the time for that shit either and I certainly wouldnt make time for it.

My sister and I have a disagreement every few years,but we always make up and tell each other how much we love each other. One time we didn’t speak for about five or six years :upside_down_face:

Nope. If she brought that craziness out in front of your child she will do it again.

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Explain to her how much she hurt your feelings. Then mend the relationship. She’s your sister, dont cut her out.

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What is she died and you never saw her again. Life it too short and sisters are so important. Maybe if she had an affair or something like that but not for a sister blowout

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Sounds like she is having a break down

Seems like she was mad and instead of telling your mom or other sister anything she took it out on the wrong person (YOU) she made a mistake it’s okay to Forgive but just keep your head up when around her and try to stay away with any Drama

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  1. Forgiveness is for you and not the other person.

  2. You can forgive her but don’t have to be involved with her, family or not.

  3. If you have a talk with her don’t let her walk away scotch free, make conditions to being around you and your family.

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She apologized . Jsut conmunicate your feelings .

O my. Just forgive her. She apologized, move on. Not worth ending a life time of a relationship over some bad decisions. Now if it continues and get worse then reevaluate.

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Keep her far away and block her too. A psycho is a psycho is a psycho and always will be. Family or not. Trust your gut instinct. You wouldn’t go back to someone who did this to you if they weren’t family so, don’t play that sister card with yourself. :raised_hands:t4: cut ties and live happy.

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Tell her to seek the mental help that she needs and then maybe come back

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My sister and I would have never spoken to each other again years and years ago if we stop talking over stupid shit. We fight over stupid shit all the time, take breaks from each other but always find our way back to each other.

I cut mine off. Toxic is toxic, family or not.

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Honestly go with your gut on this. You can forgive her & talk to her but also keep her at a distance too.

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It was a dramatic fight. Should it have happened? No. Was she wrong? Yes. You two can sit and talk it out, that’s your sister. You’d lose that bond because of a fight? Don’t make that mistake. I lost mine because she’s controlled by a terrible excuse for a human being. I wish I had a relationship with her but that was taken from me 18 years ago. Sit down and talk it out. You’re being dramatic yourself by asking if she should be cut off due to a big fight. You can explain that kind of behavior isn’t okay and you won’t put up with it. Don’t lose that bond for both your sakes. You’ll regret it if you don’t try to work it out.

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Like you I had something similar happen with my own sister but it was more revolved around her wedding, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but after that she was not granted a third chance, I have cut her out of my life and only see/speak to her cordially at family gatherings put of respect for my father. But I have also had the gut instinct that someone will never change and they didn’t…go with your gut on this…trust your intuition

You can always forgive her, but avoid dealing with her.

I dont talk to either of my brothers because they are toxic like this.

She was having a moment…a bad day. She has had time to think about her actions. Has this happened before? How has your relationship been with your sister your whole life? Siblings fight & make up all of the time…she apologized so she knows she was wrong & admitted it. I would give her the benefit of the doubt & go from there…but make sure that she knows to have respect when around your child & that you don’t need that drama.

I’ve dealt with something like this with my younger sister as well who is 25 and I forgave her but distanced myself. I see her maybe once a year now and we video call maybe once a month and in fine with that. In my life there is no room for drama

If you don’t feel right about it trust your gut, maybe only communicate through messages until you feel more comfortable since it is your sister

girl… me and my siblings are like this sometimes. for us, it’s normal. we come from a LOUD family. we’ve always got something to say! i didn’t talk to my oldest sister for about 6+ months a few years back, now she’s one of my best friends. in my opinion, i’d give her a shot. maybe meet for coffee or some lunch and talk it out and see how you feel afterwards. i KNOW a lot of family can be toxic and it’s not wrong at all to cut them off, but i would maybe meet with her first before you make a final decision.

Is everything okay at her house? Sounds like shes grasping for a lifeline by being like that.
What she did was wrong. She needs to apologise to you and you mom. Never leave your child alone with her. She sounds like she needs a professional to talk to

Stay away from her. If does that with your baby in your arms, don’t expect anything good.

If this was a one time deal, I’d move past it. If she acts like this all the time, block and move on.

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I would tell her your gonna need a lil time away from her to be able to full accept her apology. Once you feel is the right time to talk or see her then talk or see her.