Should I feel bad for having my son evicted?

I have a 31-year-old son that was abusing prescription pills. He was trying to get his life together and get off of the meds. He called one day and asked me if he could come and live with my husband and me. I talked it over with my husband, and he said it would be fine. We told my son he wouldn’t have to pay any bills, just get a job, work, and save money so he could get a place of his own. He offed to help with chores around the house. Things like cutting the grass, doing the dishes, and taking out the trash. He helped for a while, then stopped completely. Now he just wants to work, go to the gym, and sleep. He has a girlfriend he sees every weekend. Well, I’ve noticed he’s been acting strange lately. I would bet my life he is back on the pills. I told him it was time for him to take the money he has saved and go get a place of his own. By the way, he has been with us since the end of April. He informed me he hasn’t saved any money and can’t afford to get out. He said he was going to have to be evicted. We went and signed the eviction form, and it was served. He got mad and told my husband I was seeing someone else behind his back. That is a lie. Should I feel bad for having him evicted?

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We are going through similar thing debating weather to get one for our daughter and her husband the only thing our two grandsons are her too🥺

I’m so sad for you I know how you feel my daughter had a leg injury when she was 19 and she got addicted to pills :pill: my heart broke when I found out addiction is a sickness if they’re willing to go to a program that would be great they have churches that have recovery programs I know for my self I didn’t want to face she had a problem but one day she overdosed and I almost lost her and I asked God if he saved her I would love her anyway please pray for your son never stop this life is short my daughter has been in a program in Manhattan and she’s weening off the methodone it’s hard May God give you peace this is a journey

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I feel bad for having my son evicted?

Don’t feel bad at all we did that to my brother in law kicked him out when we caught him back in his addiction .

No. He knew the rules

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No These kids think they entitled

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He’ll no, no matter how old you are rules are rules. And to be down right vindictive and say lies like that. :v::v: there’s an old saying, you made your bed now lay in it.

Absolutely NOT. He is a grown ass man.

No, you didn’t ask for much. He helped out so he is capable. You did the right thing.

Lol well unless you have solid proof you may have just killed your relationship with him.

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Noooo! He has to grow up and deal with the situation he put himself in!!
Good on you for protecting your sanity and well being!!

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Sometimes you have to be the “bad guy” so they can fix themselves.

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He is a grown ass man who is capable of making his own damn decisions. You were kind enough to allow him to live with you RENT FREE and he still has the nerve to spread lies about you. You definitely do not need to feel bad. He is old enough to suffer the consequences of his own damn actions.

Nope… Not at all… you had an agreement with him. He broke the agreement… That’s real life.

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Not at all… Especially now that he’s literally trying to hurt you. Talk about ungrateful and entitled! Pills or no that’s an awful way to treat someone that helped you in your time of need. Be glad you kicked him out. Maybe he’ll grow up and learn you don’t hurt people just because they stop doing everything for you.

No. Its tough love. Kills a mother’s heart. Been there done that. When he gets his life in order he will come around.

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Hes 31 and you are asking if you should feel bad? Stop enabling him… thats the only thing you should feel bad about.

No it’s time he made a life for himself.

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Yeah let’s make people homeless so they never recover yay! What an entitled bihh. There could have been so much more done. No I won’t be replying to comments defending her. Go rot.

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Addicts say and do do terrible things. My daughter told my son I done cocaine. Wasnt doing anything suspicious. It was just to be hurtful. You tried to help him. Hes obviously relapsed. Take of YOU

Tough love , time to grow up & be a adult

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No tough love is the best

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Where did you get this eviction form at? How long did he have to move out? I’m in a similar situation with someone in my home.

No , Because You Gave Him Time…What Was He Doing With His Money…Now He Trynna Make You Feel Bad….They Always Say Family F* You Over First & That Is The Honest God Truth…Do What’s In Your Best Interest You Gave Him The Benefit Of The Doubt …It’s Time He Become & Man & Step Up!

I was sick with thyroid issues 4yrs ago, and stayed with my mother. She did that fo me, because she refused to believe I was as sick as I was, and filed eviction on me for non payment of rent. We never had a payment agreement, she knew I had no money to give her. I just needed time.
So when I went to do the paperwork for where I live now, the lady in the office had the most horrified, disgusted look on her face. That eviction is still on my record even though it was dismissed as I was able to get my things out in time.
I get the frustration, but now he’s got something else to contend with, along with battling with a drug issue. Lots of places won’t look at you twice if you’ve got an eviction. If he has no where to go, he might lose the job he has, due to not having a place to sleep, or shower. He’s headed for homelessness at this point.
Being family, especially a parent doesn’t end @18.

Maybe try and get him into rehab?

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No ma’am. Give it and him to God.

This entire situation. :grimacing::grimacing:

No ma’am he has not lived up to his end of the agreement. I know this is difficult but mark my words, he will now have no choice but to get himself together or he will more than likely be homeless and on the streets. Doubt girlfriend will take him in

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Not one bit. Time for him to grow up

No not at all, he’s 31 not 16! Where u went wrong was when you didn’t charge him rent. I would have made him pay rent and then saved all the rent up so when he had enough for his own place I would have given it to him and sent him on his way. There’s helping and then there’s people who take advantage of you, and that’s exactly what he did. I also learnt the hard way and I will help my children where I can but they have to help themselves too. Don’t feel bad. He’s a grown adult and needs to take responsibility for his own actions. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Good for you, he’s not a child anymore

No you and your husband are right for evicting him. He needs to get his shot together

You did the right thing. He’s a grown man and to
help is one thing, to enable is something completely different.

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Nope! My son is 23 and I have done everything to get him off pills. Rehad, counseling and nothing works. I put him out and he got his self in some trouble with the law. It’s his fault I don’t feel guilty no more.

If I have a home, so do my kids. Step dad put me on the street at 16.

I don’t think giving up on your son was the way to go at all. If you give a single crap about him you should know that making someone homeless who’s a drug addict is only going to aggravate the situation. Obviously you need to protect your own interests, but I’d never put myself before my kids.

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No. Tough love. He needs to take care of himself.

Hell No!! You did the right thing!! NOW he can Man Up For Real!

No he is grown….he chose his on path….just pray for him….that is all you can do….been there done that….

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Nope. He took advantage of you.

Nope time to grow up

Way too go! Don’t be an enabler!!

Can’t trust a crackhead!

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Nope tough love her will be alright

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I’m sure it’s a very hard thing to do. But it sounds like tough love is needed

No you should not feel bad. He should have not taken anything for granted like he did

Sometimes. You have be cruel to be kind.
You & husband have done the right thing even though it hurts.
You helped him out for as long as you could.

Absolutely NOT if he can’t fulfill his obligations then bye bye

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Please try to get him into rehab.

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Parents turning their back on their kids instead of actually helping​:clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3:

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Right thing how dare he try to butcher your marriage bc of his addiction

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You did the right thing

First of all your assuming and second that is your child sit him down and talk to him why ask people you don’t know to make a decision for your family your family!! You make it sound worse then it probably is. Talk to your son explain to him how you feel and see if you can compromise that’s the problem with people they assume and then there is 0 communication sheesh

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It sounds like you’ve taught him how to be vindictive… 🤷 proud mommy moment? Not so much… 3 months to get clean as well as get healthy mentally and financially? Probably not enough time. Then to ve shady to get him out? Of course he’s going to play your gane the way you taught him how 🤷

Nope. Not wrong at all. Its not giving up on your son, you’ve tried to help him. He didnt do anything to help himself. His fault. You shouldnt give up your life trying to correct his. He is an adult. Whether he sucks at it or not.

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I wouldn’t but that doesn’t make u wrong, u r in the situation u have to so whats right for u xx

No he grown u helped him out tremendously big with the no rent. Had that been your daughter wit a child then me speaking it mayb would have been different. But he is man. Yes we are here to help our children if they fall on bad times but we dont harbour them. You did your part. Let him go so he grow up an become a man

You’re gonna feel real bad identifying his body because that can make an addict hit rock bottom real quick. Even if he isn’t doing anything (they do have drug tests at any drug stores now) he definitely might be now since his family showed they don’t care about him. It doesn’t sound like you tried to help. You just gave him a roof over his head and said get over it. Mental illness and addiction is hard and you can’t just “get over it” you need a support system. It sounds like he has no one. I feel bad for him.

Why don’t you have a real conversation with him?? Try to get him some help?

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Absolutely not and by doing anymore you are enabling him

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No! He was wrong on so many levels

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personally I feel telling your husband that lie shows he is back on the drugs since that I don’t know you’re son but it seems that would be very out of character

I’m so sorry you are going thru this…as a Mom it is so very hard to deal with. You did the right thing. If he is back on drugs and not saving money, then he is using you to have a place to stay and just freeload.
I had to do the same thing years ago to our oldest and his wife. They laid around doing nothing. They wouldn’t even walk next door and get on assistance (we lived next door to the welfare office). You sometimes have to do what’s best for you and your Honey. You did your job and raised him. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet and take care of himself so you can enjoy your life now. :heart::heart::heart:

Nope it’s called tough love mama!

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Did you really expect someone to beat an opioid addiction in three months? A bit naive.

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I found out the hard way that o helped my addict daughter to the point of enabling. I did it mostly for the v children… and I wanted her to get clean and be the mom and person I knew she once was. You did not do the wrong thing. I did. It’s hard to know where to draw the line between helping and enabling.

Problem with this is that now nobody will rent to him with an eviction on his record. Should of handled it out of the court system. Now this eviction will show on his credit report

The fact he told you that you would need to evict him to get him out tells you he had no intention on getting his crap together. Despite the crappy circumstances you did the right thing.

No you shouldn’t feel bad for evicting him. It’s time for him to figure it out. It can be hard as a parent to make these hard decisions but he is responsible for his own choices.

Should you feel guilty, not at all! Your son put himself in this position. He should be in rehab, not your home.

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They sell drug tests at cvs

If we baby the addicts we will bury the addicts. He needs tough love and should definitely be able to make better life choices at that age. This might be what he needs to get himself started on the right path.

Not at all! You gave him a chance and he blew it! He will thank you one day!

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I see everyone saying " he’s a grown man" Which is facts,but if HE IS back on pills, i would try to get my child into rehab and not throw him out. I know you tried to help,but sometimes people who are addicted need a little more help than a place to lay at night. Now if he isn’t abusing pills again and he’s just Being lazy,then I AGREE. Don’t feel bad you tried.

He needed to go. He is a grown man and he knew what he had to do. You gave him time and a chance, but it’s his fault he f’d up. Let him figure things out himself.

No. You did the right thing.

Bihh no he grown n a druggie n a liar BYE

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No stand tall it’s the only way to help him.

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Its so funny its all the age group living with their parents complaining about giving tough love! :joy::joy::joy: Family, not family if you won’t enforce what you say people will take advantage. You don’t need to feel bad and he needs to get his shit together & he tried to be vindictive and make you kick him out and tried to cause problems in your marriage! This sounds exactly like what a junkie would do!
Tell him he needs to get the f out and get himself into a program or go live with his girlfriend.

I had to do the same thing. Sometimes tough love is needed and this is that time. He will do all he can cause he’s mad my son did the same and and had my husband thrown in jail on lies that could’ve really ruined his life. All because he was mad that we kicked him out. You have to do this

No, because you told him the expectations and he didn’t follow them. Not your problem.

Bye-eeee!!! I had to read his age 3 times. That’s a grown ass man. Get out

That’s typical behavior for someone on pills/drugs he’s not getting what he wants so he’ll throw you under the bus getting the eviction is probably the best thing you can do for him

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Thanks love for your baby girl lol fr I just saw you on Facebook and saw you posted it lol I just saw that lol I just got a bill lol I got a bill for the bill and it said it would have been paid off but I didn’t know

Nope he is a grown ass man!!! No one is meant to take care of someone for life!!! I have five kids and I never through them out as long as they are productive and moving forward!!! But my oldest decided not to be so he no longer lives here!

2 months is hard to save enough for a security deposit and first months rent plus all the extras. I wouldn’t jump to assumptions but I’d ask how much he has saved. Living in Dane county is ridiculously expensive so he would probably need to save at least two grand to move out. Unless he’s making really good money and doesn’t have a lot to pay for or back bills it would take a while to save that up

Soooo you gave him all of 3 months to get a job and save up enough money to get his own place?? I think you jumped the gun. I’m not saying you should enable him or let him live there forever but you could have at least given him a few more months especially since you aren’t even sure he has relapsed and at least he has a job and isn’t sleeping all day or playing video games.

No , you deserve happiness!

He lied and tried to break up your marriage? He’s definitely a drug addiction. Tell him to get the hell out and get his life together. Smh

Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to change. If you had kept enabling him, it would be much worse for him than giving him a wake up call. Sometimes it takes tough love mama. It’s definitely not easy, just keep your head up

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Maybe try to take your son to family counseling because it doesn’t sound like you guys have a good relationship. From there the therapist can recommend rehab or even get a judge involved. Usually addiction stems from other problems (like mental health, genetics, etc.)

I wouldn’t kick him out, but I also wouldn’t enable him.
I’d have a good long chat with him about boundaries to start with, eg not trying to manipulate and ruin your relationship.
Secondly I’d be putting in rules he must attend meetings for support, he must save X amount towards getting in a better position and also he has to do a share of house chores. I’d also make him pay some sort of board, if you don’t want or need it you can save it in secret for him. Yes I’m aware he is an adult and you can’t control what he does with his money but you can set ground rules for him living in your house. I’d give him another chance, being clear on the conditions and boundaries. If he can’t hold up his end and agree to start helping himself, even in baby steps to start with then I’d be telling him to move on.

No your not wrong !! I done this too my son when he was 21 hardest thing I’ve ever done but he threatened me in my own home at stupid o’clock when my youngest was asleep !! Thankfully he did sort his self out he’s now a Royal Marine and he still comes home xx

Hope you do get to sort your son out it’s called tough love xx good luck lovely xx

He is a grown man, got to be mean to be kind sometimes let people get away with things it chance to only get worse you can still let him now your their for him stay strong hope he gets the right help :yellow_heart:

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You know what all you have done for him… Amd what he has put. You through… Sometimes tough love helps… Sending love n prayers for Yall

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I would have charged him rent and stashed it to the side and then after a few months help him find a place with all the money you forced him to save.

You did exactly what a mami does :crown:leave it in GODS HANDS

What he has done is wrong,but no matter how bad a child/adult is HOW could a mother see their child on the street. Get him some help for the addiction once that’s under control everything else will fall into place.He will thank you in the long run,or throw him out and he walks away and never speaks to you again. Instead of being selfish do some research on addiction and them ask yourself am i a mother.

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