hell no…put him in rehab
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No . You did right. Hes a grown man. He should be wanting to do better for himself. He’s just using you
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No. He’s manipulating you which is unacceptable
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Some lessons are best learned the hard way… You did the right thing!
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Most u can do see to get him in a shelter n have treatments
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Drug test him and go from there
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You should sit him down talk to him and have him take a test see if it’s true if it is Then help him by section him get him in a program and tell him maybe when he clean and able to start over we will try again or they help him get his own who knows
A son or daughter should know better. Especially being 31
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He’d be out on my watch.
Yes, never turn your back on your kid. No matter what the situation is.
MY OPINION.
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No. Tough love sometimes means you have to force your hand. He decided to take it another level when he said you’ll have to evict me. He was calling your bluff. You did the right thing.
No he needs to grow up
Not at all. My uncle has been a meth addict for years. My family tried everything. Give him a hand and he took the whole arm plenty of times. My grandma gave him chance after chance and he broke her and hurt her. She did the only thing she could and that was put it in Gods hands. You can not help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. Your son is a grown man. If he can ask you for help and then do you dirty by not doing his end he sure as hell can get clean and get his shit together. He is an excuse. And there is nothing wrong with tough love. Don’t let these people here tell you otherwise. You are allowed to love your own from afar. Idgaf what anyone says. Until you live and go thru living with an addict who definitely has the means to get help but refuses help then yall saying otherwise need to sit down and sftu.
No. He has to grow up at some point. You can’t live off mommy and daddy forever.
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Hell no you shouldn’t feel bad.
Hell he should have had a place of his own and been doing what’s right in the first place instead of being on drug’s.
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Hell no, don’t feel bad for him. Make him be responsible for himself. If he is back on the pills, so be it. There is always the homeless shelter, for him to sleep at. I hope your husband knows your son was just trying to cause problems.
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And yall saying she is turning her back on her son she isn’t. She loves him judging from this post. She is HURT and feels defeated. Yall are sick to make her feel like she is a bad mom when she isn’t.
It’s a delicate situation you love someone but can’t let them abuse the relationship they have to grow past their immature actions and become someone who can be a trusted family member ,not easily achieved
Yea you should feel bad
You had no proof really that he was on pills again. You should’ve gotten him to confirm it by asking for a drug test. If he refused, then you would know.
Smh
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Sounds like he obviously is guilty if he made up a lie about you.
No you should not feel bad he is 31 years old he needs to get a reality check
No you did the right thing. He doesn’t need to be coddled, he needs rehab. He probably said to evict him thinking you wouldn’t do but next time he should be careful what he wishes for.
My husband works in addiction and one of the biggest things his clients had to go through was these types of scenarios. By letting him “take advantage” of your kindness it is a form of enabling. Being an enabler, even if it’s not consciously, will not help him on his road to recovery. It’s unfortunate, but the truth. He needs a rehab center. Some of his clients have been there and back many times and suddenly they changed and live better lives. It will hurt but it’s what needs to be done
Yes you should, it’s your son, you are his mother, no matter how old he is, and, if the tables were turned and you looked for a place. How would you feel if he had done that to you
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My mom would of never enabled me this way, if I was doing bad there was consequences to my actions. I learned & I’m glad I did. I’m 25 & own my home. If you don’t give tough love they’ll never grow up. It’s time to put your foot down, so I feel you’re doing the right thing here.
Nope he’s a grown man time for him to act like one. Personally I would have made him pay rent. My kids graduated High School if they didn’t go to college or join military they had to pay rent. TIME TO ADULT
Hell no!!! Kick his grown ass out DONT enable he will have no choice to get his life together!!!
Yes by all means he has to go you cant support him he a grown man time for live on his own
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Nope he needs to go like now continue on he’s grown it’s time for him to act grown goodbye 
Y’all both messed up! There was no time line. Where his money go? The girlfriend? When he came to live with you. There should have been a time line. And if he was a user there should have been a stipulation that he had to random drug test for all drugs. Or a monthly one. But him saying you cheating is a petty move because he is hurt.
I had just about the same issue with my son but he ended up running me off and at that time I was scared of him. Anyway to make a long story short he ended up overdosing and I lost him but you do what feels right in your heart we can’t keep enabling them. Sending prayers!
No he has to
Grow up and he most likely is back using especially if there is no money saved when you weren’t making him pay any bills . Sometimes tough love is the love that you gotta give if you don’t make him get his life together it’s only going to escalate and could lead to him overdosing . He’s got to get clean and get his life together . Stay strong momma
Give him a drug test. And if he fails then give him treatment places he can go to but if he passes then let him know that it’s time for him to man up but at the end of the day that’s still your child do you want to stress every day wondering if your child is OK or not I wouldn’t but that’s just my opinion and everybody on this thread is going to have today. If that was your son would you wanna wonder every day if he’s OK I wouldn’t
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No because you can’t help someone that isn’t ready or doesn’t want to be helped. Enabling an addict is never good. And I am speaking as a recovering addict.
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People can say what they want to on this post but at the end of day if that was your child you’d be worried sick if you kicked him out and if you weren’t worried sick then you probably never cared in the first place is how I feel secondly I’ve seen people that have had kids they have went to prison for killing people and they never left there side at the end of the day you Birthed em you raised em so now when they’re at their worst help them that’s how I feel Point Blank period
My son overdosed while I was sure he wasn’t using. Give hime a list of rehabs and counselors and tell him to write to you while he’s getting help.
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I don’t know the situation, I was not there, maybe everybody,CARZY lol we only heard one side. Wish the family the best for real…
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What you should have required is he seek counseling to get off pills. Made him pay rent and put it back so you could have it and say here you go. Addiction is funny and he needs help to get out of it.
Sorry all you have done is enabled him.
Nope you tried to help him but he wasn’t responsible enough to help himself. He has to be an adult and figure it out. Maybe he needs to check himself into rehab.
No not at all. Aside from the drug issue he broke the original agreement which was he paid no bills and saved his money to get his own place. After a sufficient time had passed and was questioned regarding how much money he had saved he has none? That’s bullcrap right there. He broke the terms of your original terms.
If people don’t have loved ones struggling with addiction or been addicted themselves they wouldn’t understand addiction. He’s 31 he’s a grown man and when you and your husband took him in there was an understanding. He’s working now he has a job and a girlfriend and he no longer helps around the house and was supposed to save up and now his behavior is different which he could have relapsed and relapse is part of addiction. If you allow him to stay and he’s back to using that’s enabling which is not good. After losing my dad in 2016 to addiction I felt it was important to educate myself about addiction to get a better understanding about it and nar Anon meetings helped me alot support groups for family members who have loved ones who struggle with addiction very helpful. Prayers for you and your family!!
No, there’s nothing wrong with not enabling his behavior and addiction. He didn’t live up to his part of the bargain so now it’s time to go.
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You’re child is your child til the day you die. If he has an addiction then you , his mother, his safe place has abandoned him. He needed help. But karma is a bitch. You’re getting older and the day you can’t take care of yourself he’ll probably drop you in a home and let you die alone. Having an adult child dependent on you is hard. But that’s a part of parenting.
He is your son, he needs you,. Why evict him? Any proof? What if it’s not true?
3 months was a bit short to expect him to have saved up for his own place and such. It sounds like he’s doing exactly what you asked of him in exchange for a place and now it’s not enough because he isn’t doing the extras that he offered to do in the beginning. Depends on what you mean by “acting weird”. Unless he was stealing from you I don’t see why you’d suddenly flip and kick him out. 
I’d be dead today if my mother enabled me & didn’t kick me out after I screwed up, there’s nothing wrong with not helping him kill himself or not enabling the using/lieing.
Nope. There’s a point where sadly you can’t enable him anymore
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You have no proof he was back on the pills and he has been working and doing things with his time why don’t you open a bank account and ask him to give over a part of his money for saving and that you’ll give it to him when he moves out
Nope I put mine out at 18
Changed him for the better. I put myself through hell!!!
He’ll no he needs to go. !!! And don’t let him come back…
Tough love is so hard
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NO, we dont owe anyoneone anything! You were kind and he felt entitled. Now he can live with his choices .
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No cut that string boot him to the curb.
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Before I would but my son or daughter on the street, I’d do everything to find him a rehab. Ive always heard it’s almost impossible to get clean on your own. I wouldn’t sleep at night not knowing where my son or daughter was. But I’ve never been in that situation, thank god.
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No you shouldn’t feel bad he is using you and by letting him stay you are enabling him. Tough Love is what he needs!
Nope you let him stay, you are enabling him to not get his life together
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Nope time to fly little birdie lol
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You know… I typed deleted and then re-typed my response almost for an hour
It’s difficult 
Specially cuz obviously 
if they’re a 30 yr old grown men it will always be your child
Talk to your spouse to help him get some type of treatment to get off from the pills 
If that doesn’t work you gave it your best shoot
You did too much by not charging him rent he could had saved the entirety of his checks or allow himself spend at the most 100 dollars for stuff that he has to buy like shampoo, toothpaste all that but probably he could have had enough money sufficient enough to actually get a little apartment for himself
If you let him stay you will be deceived and lied to almost on a daily basis, as you tumble into dispair you will be made to feel it is your fault, you see, at the end of the day it is all about them… it is in a word “selfish”, as difficult as it is if you don’t get a grip on the situation it will kill him or and you!!
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Yes feel horrible HoW DaRe YoU make an adult own up to his decisions you monster
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He is 31, time to make him grow up and take care of himself. Evidently he isn’t going to while living with you. Put him out and make him
He’s an addict. All will be an addict. Recovering or not. HE HAS TO WANT TO GET HELP before anyone can help him.
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Only my opinion. I would not through my kids to the curb. Help them. I know I lost a son to addiction and helped and helped. I don’t regret a thing. I was always there. And ultimately he lost his life.
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Offer him intensive rehab, or leave. Or give him 30 more days. That way you know you did what you could. But at some point he has to want to help himself. But to answer your question even if u kicked him out today, no you shouldn’t feel bad. He’s had over 3 months and did nothing.
Nope, you have every right. You attempted to help how you could, he took advantage and now has to suffer the consequences.
Its called tough love…kick him out he is a grown man.
My husbands mother had him evicted from her house back when he was in active addiction years ago. Thing was, she never told him she wanted him to leave, just went and filed the eviction. He left within a hour of being served. Now, his situation was different in the aspect he was on social security (lost a leg in a car accident which is what started the prescription pill abuse and then lead to heroin.) They never had any kind of agreements in place as to when he would be leaving, what he would do to help around the house, ect. It damaged the relationship for a while. But ultimately, years later he said it was the best thing she could have done for him. How she went about it, they still argue about. 
But he thanks her for making him leave when she did because that eviction paper is ultimately what lead to him getting clean.
Addiction is such an emotional and physically exhausting situation to deal with on all the parties involved. Prayers to you and your son. God has a plan for us all. 
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Sometimes you have to saddle up , And look after your kids. No matter what
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I feel like you should have helped first. He is your son and I know you don’t owe him anything but now you have let go when he needed someone the most sadly you were not the one there for him, just think if your husband would be in his shoes would you kick him out? It is good for you that you want to get away from possibly getting hurt but he still needed you
He probably never stopped in the first place that’s y he hasn’t been able to save any money! I can’t say what I would do in ur situation it’s easy to say put him out and let him hit rock bottom but idk if I could actually do that if I was in that situation. I would probably at this point tell him to either go to rehab or he has to go. If he chooses to go to rehab I would help as much as I could.
He’s grown, not a child anymore, hell no I wouldn’t feel bad. That’s a 31 year old MAN. Perhaps he could stay with his girlfriend…
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Nope, and don’t let him make you feel guilty at all. You let him stay w/ you, and it just sounds like he was ungrateful for it. He needs to man up, and get things done himself.
Absolutely not! It’s called Tough Love.
Nope. You’re being a good mom by putting your foot down.
Nice mother you are! Sounds like he’s better off without you!!
NO he should behave himself in you house.
Nope time to be grown
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It’s the only way he will learn
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No. He is a grown man and needs to act like it.
Tough love is also the roughest love you will have to give. I mean after all you already raised him once, it was HIS choice to relapse if that’s the case and he can go live with his girlfriend. I know as a mother you hate to do something like this to your son but on the other hand you can’t enable him anymore.
Please send him to SponsorNsponsee we’d love to help ❤️🩹
Your son is struggling
Question is, as a mother. How are you going to feel if he overdoses after you kick him out? April until now is not nearly the time an addict needs for recovery and if he hasn’t relapsed, the stress will definitely cause it. He needs support, both mental and medical, aswell as therapy not just, stay here and stay sober. And the first signs of difficulty, distrust and accusations
Nope he’s;an addict. He has;to take part in saving himself. Accusation of;an affair is just a smoke screen to focus attention on anyone but himself&his addiction. You did;everything possible as an involved parent. So don’t;feel badly about it.
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I’m sorry but h
Their is only so much you can do to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped…at some point you have to put your own health and mental health first. If you’ve have truly tried and this is now effecting your life. I don’t think it is wrong of you.
HELL no! Tuff love! He needs to grow up
That is still your son right? You are still the parents? Maybe throwing him is not the best option but getting him helped with his addiction is the most important thing right now. If you wouldn’t help him, who would?
People.have to want to help themself before anyone can help them too. Otherwise its a one way street. My son whos now 18 did something he wasnt supposed to when he was a minor. I turned him into the police. Since he wouldnt go to counseling and correct the problem the courts would make him. Now hes 18 and hes still doing the same thing. I cant help him now. Hes an adult. He has to want to change, i cant make him. Same thing. You CANT MAKE HIM.
In my eyes, if you let him stay and he isnt saving money, but instead spending it on pills, you’re enabling him. Kick him out, make him decide if he wants to spend his money on rent, or go get his next fix.
Not at all…he using you all as a crutch…he grown it is time to go
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so he got a job you said he had to get, helped with chores you didnt ask him to do but he did of his own accord and you haven’t said what shift hes working or how often nor did you say how much hes being paid. Hes been there 3 months not 3 years. Sees his gf on weekends and that’s ok at 31 yrs old. You seem pissed that he slacked off on chores you didnt ask for help with and now that hes working and also dating he stopped doing all the rest to do what you asked. I think slacking off on chores is way less worse then he could be doing yet you jump right to assuming hes on drugs. Ma’am no. I also have an addict child but I promise you nothing would piss him off or shove him back on dope quicker then being accused by his mother of being on dope when he was working and trying to also have any social life just cause he didnt wash a dish or take out trash. Especially after 3 months
Do NOT feel bad for no longer enabling him! I suggest you and your husband go to Al-Anon meetings. These meetings will help you to understand your son’s addiction and what you can do to be most beneficial in helping him choose recovery. 
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Nope,you gave your kindness to him and your husband was so kind to support you,he’s a grown man now you tried you did your part,don’t be hard on your self you will always care and love him
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With that type of behavior, no. True addict manipulative behavior.
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Heck no, kick that boy out!
Typical leech. They’re always ‘getting my life back together’
No that is though love
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No. Letting him stay is enabling him. Hopefully your husband knows your dealing with an addict & doesn’t believe the lies.
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HELL NO! He’s a grown man. Don’t enable or coddle him. You did what he asked you to do… Evict him. He was trying to call your bluff🤦🏾♀️. He’ll never stop jumping if he knows he has a pillow to land on🤷🏾♀️. You’ve done your job as a mother, don’t let his issues become yours.
No. You did the right thing. It’s hard to do but needed. Will he take a drug test for you. That was a stipulation at my house. Random 24/7.
im currently 33 weeks pregnant, and my mom kicked me out ( i was homeless living at the homeless shelter after she did this) at teh begining of april. ( here is more to the story so please dont hate on my mother for donig what she thought ( and what was…) best for me. but it made e get my shit together. so no your not a bad parent, you made the righ choice. they will learn. i did.