My daughter is turning 13 in a matter of weeks. Things are very estranged in the entire family at the current moment. I want to give her something sentimental, for example a pendant with some of my moms ashes as they had a very close relationship when she was little. However due to the familial tension and the remarks she made as she addressed my mom as “my name”’s mom, I’m wary to give her such an item. I also have a necklace with items that recount their relationship and her heritage, but again, I’m not sure on how to proceed. Thank you guys so much.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I gift my daughter something sentimental? - Mamas Uncut
I would just put it up for her instead of giving it to her to get lost or destroyed
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Sounds like you already know this isn’t the right time…
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As a mom of a 14 year old girl, I would highly recommend holding onto those items for a bit longer
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I love the idea but I would wait until she’s older.
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no, give her something she will appreciate. If she didn’t have a connection to your mom, or your mom’s heritage—she isn’t going to appreciate something like this. As a fact, she may never.
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If you questioning it, it is not the time. Ley her mature some more! She wount have the same values 5 years, 10 years from now
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Seriously? Poor Mom 
, hard to say what to do. I was given…shit that was looooong ago.
I wouldn’t give her the ashes or the pendant celebrating her heritage at this time. She may very well destroy or lose these things. If you intend to get them, put them up for when she’s older… if she ever does seem to appreciate such things. If there are family tensions right now, a gift to try to cement the family probably won’t go over well. I would go with a gift card for now… and maybe a photo album for photos she takes herself and get her an inexpensive camera. That would be your best bet.
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Maybe She’s too young to appreciate it now . Not sure
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She’s too young. I gave my stepdaughter the promise ring her Dad gave me shortly after his death. She was 14 & lost it soon after. I was trying to make her feel better.
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Wait till she older.
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I would hold off on these types of gifts for awhile. My daughter will be turning 13 soon and even with no issues currently going on in our family, I don’t believe she’s responsible enough for such gifts or really capable of understanding the sentimental value. Maybe at 16 or 18 or wedding day lol
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I’ve always called my mom’s mom, but she passed before I was even thought of… however, with that being said, I would still LOVE and appreciate something like that, probably just not at 13. I’d wait until she’s a bit older.
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Shed to young, she’s inappropriate at this time as she’s not gonna care for it as she should.
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If you give them to her now and she destroys them in a fit of teenage angst, she’s going to regret it down the line. Maybe something a bit more replaceable? Perhaps a framed picture of them together? We all do a lot of dumb stuff as angry kids.
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Their SENCE of being sentimental about something is totally different than yours.
If you are remotely ?ing -she’s not ready yet, you will know when !!!
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IMO I’d wait till she is 16 and a little more mature
Do you have pictures of them together give her that and maybe when a little older give her the sentimental items.
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Just wait till she’s older for the sentimental things. They’re not that responsible at 13/14 and yes I know this cause I have a 14 year old so
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I would wait until she was older
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No, I wouldn’t. She’s not grown up enough to appreciate it.
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Honestly, comments aside, I don’t think that she’s old enough to have the responsibility of taking care of something like someone’s ashes. I know I lost a lot of important stuff at 13/14 years old, but to lose a literal piece of my grandma would have devastated me.
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I agree that she is probably to young because things get lost so easily. But if ur really wanting to give to her still…maybe get one of those special picture frames where you can put a picture of them together and have the pendant inside it so it can be hung on the wall for now
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Definitely wait til 16, maybe 18… depending on her maturity level then. These are sentimental to you, not something to be rushed.
I think I’d wait a bit before giving her those things. Maybe at 16 when she’s a little more mature.
You can give her something sentimental and meaningful, but I’d wait until she’s older and able to truly appreciate them to gift the items you mentioned.
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I would do something special for her but not a necklace because at that age she will lose it and it will happen… Is there anything else that you can think of getting her? Turning 13 is a special age for her so Despite the past you should still make her feel special on her birthday.
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We gave each of our daughters a dozen red roses a day one white. They are now in their 50’s and still remember them.
Do a locket with photos, dont do ashes until shes older
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Wait until she’s older and more mature…for both of your sakes
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I’d save those things for now … If you have a picture/s of them together get a copy/copies & frame it/them & gift her those … 
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21 I’d say … I just think that’s age appropriate. She’ll be more in to adult life style n , ready to start fresh new chapters in her life then. She might even be in her own home n ,more built on a mature manner .
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Give her something sentimental but it sounds like she didn’t have a great relationship with your mum so that seems like a weird gift 
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I would go get her something that isn’t so sentimental just incase she looses it she is only 13 hun
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I’d wait until she matures a bit
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Take her to McDonald’s 
This is all im going to say because you’re the only one who knows your child. Giving something sentimental as a gift is about giving something that will mean something to them. Not something that means something to you.
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If you think shebwont lose them it doesn’t hurt. Maybe ask if she’d like them and if not keep then tucked away for when things get better
She’s too young for that kind of stuff right now. I wouldn’t even give my daughter anything until she has moved into her own place. Cause my daughter will be getting things that belonged to her great great grandmother’s.
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She’s still pretty young to truly appreciate and treasure familial artifacts right now especially with the problems going on. I wouldn’t want to give her anything that is meant to be a lifelong keepsake that is meant to touch her heart and soul during a time in her life where she is being disrespectful and does not really know the meaning of sentimental. Just because it’s sentimental to you doesn’t mean it will be to her at her age. I’d wait to give those type of things when she is old enough and mature enough to know the meaning of them and appreciate the sentiments behind them especially since she is talking the way she is. The only thing that will put a smile on this snotty girl’s face at this point is $. Then it won’t be good enough. Let her grow up before giving her something so precious and expecting her to appreciate and treasure it
Wait to give her these keepsakes until she is grown. She will better appreciate them, and take better care of them, as an adult.
You can give her something else sentimental now, just know that whatever it is, she might lose it or not take the best care of whatever it is. Maybe pictures in a special frame, or something handmade by you … something arts/crafts related.
No way. Not now; hopefully better times are ahead for you all and she gains some wisdom and how to be respectful!
Maybe for an 18th Birthday??
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Give her those things when she is ready for them. It doesn’t sound like she is at this point. But I would gift wrap it and tag it for her and then put it away til she is older and ready for that. And in the event something happens to you before you can give it to her she will still get it. It is truly a thoughtful idea and I’m sure that when her feelings over whatever happened settle it will mean a lot to her. Good luck. 
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I would personally wait until high school or college graduation or even her wedding.
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I’ve always addressed my moms mom as grandma or my moms mom hell I even called her by her actual name at times. So that who issue surrounding that part of it seems extremely childish on the adults end of things. But if she is seeming to not be in an accepting manner right then I’d hold off. I’d have a conversation with her about her feelings bc her actions may be due to the loss of your mom or how someone else in the family has treated her maybe even both. Kids don’t just act out to act out there’s always an underlying reason behind it. She could be seeking out extra attention or just attention in general bc of what’s been going on with the family and unfortunately the only attention she has received has been negative but it’s attention. She could be upset an hurting by the loss of your mother. A family member could have crossed the line with her an spoke unkindly to her or just plain is rude to her an bullying her. There’s so many variables at play for why she is behaving the way she is it’s hard to just say no she isn’t worthy of receiving something that has meaning to it. Hell her hormones could be out of whack and that can throw off her moods an temperament. I think that if you talk with her and get to giving her a heart to heart every now an again she may come around an you’ll see that she just needed some positivity and someone to talk to. Maybe teach her about her heritage and speak about your mom with her an by 18 these gifts maybe more appropriate to give her bc they will mean much more to her and would make a good graduation gift as well. Also you should probably tell your problematic family members to piss off bc she is your child not theirs and they have zero right to speak on how to raise her an care for her. They’re not living with her or raising her their input is invalid.
I’d say not unless she knew how to care for sentimental items.
I gifted my 13 year old stepdaughter solid gold jewelry at one point and she just didn’t care to take care of them. She’s already lost both pieces so now I’m just waiting til she’s an adult to gift her anything sentimental
She is rather young to understand and appreciate these keepsakes. Teenagers often loose things and with the current tension, I would hold off until she’s more mature.
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Hold onto them until she’s older. She may do something she’ll regret right now. Let her know you have them for her though.
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Give her a gift card to target instead
She’s not mentally ready for a keepsake like that
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Wait till she is about 25 ish.
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I personally would wait a few years 13 although not young is still irresponsible.
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13 is too young to appreciate such sentimental items…maybe when she’s 18???
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I would wait she does not understand sentimental value yet she would appreciate a gift card more
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I wouldn’t at all never mind at 13
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I wouldn’t. I have a 13 year old and my mom passed away when she was younger and they also were very close. My daughter has jewelry she will inherit that was my mom’s when she’s older and more responsible.
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Sentimental is what she finds of value. So if you’re aiming for that, think on her in that way. Not something you’re placing sentiment on.
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Wait until she’s old enough to appreciate it. I’d try 25
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I loved my step dad vary much he passed when I was 7 , my mom gave me his 24 gold chain and nugget pendant he had pand himself , I was 13 I loved and cherished it however I took it off to swim and it got stolen I was heart broken. I wished she had waited I was to young.
If you do decide to give anything sentimental to her just let her know that you’ll keep it safe until she is older but she can wear it on special family occasions.
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She’s too young. I’d wait a few years!
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Wait until she is older and can appreciate it. Honestly she sounds like a brat
Everyone is saying she’s too young but not necessarily, depends on the kid. My Grandma gave me her ring when I was 10 before she died and it’s still on my finger since that day. I’ve always cherished it and was responsible and careful with it. It’s not the age that matters it’s the child.
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I would save those items until she’s older. A 13yo isn’t mature enough to understand the significance or keep them.
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Turning 13 is big, but I would definitely wait. Save it for a graduation gift or even on the day she decides to marry. Things like that are more special the more mature we are.
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Sounds like she’s very hurt. Save the gifts. Perhaps Counseling to address her grief and confusion
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Make it like a keepsake box. Or jewelry box type if you wait.That would be so cute. I didn’t start keeping things until I was 18 that I still have today. Do you know how to bring it up casually. Like oh I want a necklace for moms ashes what do you think about it. Or show pictures of different idea say its for you or someone else and ask her opinion
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I would wait till she’s out of her teens!
Depends on the child - I could give our eldest things like this at 13 as she would cherish them always, our second on the other hand doesn’t have that consciousness, even at nearly 16
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She seems not mature just yet, I’d wait before giving her something so important
I’m 35 and wouldn’t be sentimental about something like this at all, in fact a little creeped out. But something I have and love is a park ranger smoky bear pin my grandparents had when they were park rangers. Everyone is different I’d chat with her and see where she’s at.
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I think it sounds morbid as a birthday gift! Maybe when she’s older on her wedding day as a sentimental memory. For her birthday she should get something she might like that’s age appropriate. Since she lost her grandmother, also do something fun with her. She might still be grieving. I’m in my 50’s & wouldn’t want something so sad as a birthday gift.
Not yet, get her a new Jewellery Box so you have something to put her new pieces in when older. Put 1 piece in the box when you give it to her. I did this for my grand daughters with new earrings. This is something they will have until their grand children I am hoping.
Counseling n a sentimental gift would be good
I would not give her, her grandmothers ashes in a pendant!!! Maybe give her a pendant with a picture of her grandmother & her in it
I would give those to her when she is much older. I would do something special with her. See a movie. Take her out for cake and ice cream. Go biking.
Hold off on these types of gifts until she is like 16. She will appreciate it more when she’s grown.
Bake something with her.
All who say the child is too young. It really depends on the child. Some 13 year Olds are really mature and know how to take care of things whereas others doesn’t. What about a nice picture frame with a picture of them?
You already know the answer.
I think 16 would be a better age sweet 16 my mom gave me a cedar chest and an album of me growing up I still have it today my mom passed away 11 years ago and I miss her everyday the memories of my seated chest and my album means the world to me. 