Should I go for custody of my siblings?

I have been living in Colorado for over a year with my husband and five years old. In April, I went to go pick up my three siblings from my mother, who is two, almost three states away because she lost her house that she had. She said it would be temporary. However, it is November now, and she stopped being able to give me money in September. And recently in that past week lost communication with us. I have been doing everything I can for them. She’s out there with her new husband, who’s the same age as me and is in and out of jail. And on drugs. So my question is, should I grant custody? I already went to the county building to get cash aide, and they automatically will put her on Child support. I talked to my husband. He doesn’t mind. But I’m so conflicted.


If you are already doing all the work to raise them, then you might as well. Your mother sounds unreliable and isn’t making the best decisions.


Do it. Save your siblings.

1 Like

It is a lifelong decision

I would seems like they are better off and safer and more stable with you

1 Like

At the very least, go for guardianship

File for emergency custody


Save your siblings from her.

1 Like

Save them. They deserve it.


Most definitely go get custody. Ur already taking care of them. Provide them a stable home. Im fighting for custody of my 15yr old brother unfortunately he is in foster care 800+ mi away from me right now

1 Like

If you have had them for awhile now and your mom can’t get her sh*t together save your siblings. Then you know they will be safe instead of wondering if they are.

If I was personally in your position. I would. And I wouldn’t hesitate. Those kids need someone to stand up for them. It seems evident that your mother will not be that person. I would go for full custody


Sounds like they need you to be in a stable environment. Your mother seems to have issues and not able to care for them. My answer would be yes. It may be the only way they all stay together.If you can’t keep them you can still be involved in their lives. Doesn’t sound like mom should have them. Best wishes.Ask for help when you need it. God Bless you and your husband. .

1 Like

Bless you for taking your siblings, hopefully your mom will one day come to senses.
But for now they have you that is wonderful.

I would but please, coming from the same type of situation, PLEASE put them in counseling, play therapy, something.

1 Like

If you’re already taking care of them and you feel they would be safer and better taken care of with you then by all means do it. Go for emergency custody for abandonment and go from there. Sending love and light from Colorado myself


I would they’ve already been staying with you and your husband is ok with it at least they’d be with family with you .

Absolutely… so she cant come take live that life. Around drugs and stuff. They need stability.

1 Like

If you dont they may end up in foster care and its harder to get them back once that happens.

I would defiantly go for custody.

Get custody. Then you have guardianship and can make important decisions for/with them without trying to track down your mother

Do it. Your first thought should be of the children…if they got arrest for something the children would go into the system,and split up. If they got hurt, froze outside ,lord forbid ,died ,becausevof your mother youd never forgive it

Think of what’s best for the kids and not your mom, guardianship is a start and if that doesn’t get Mom’s attention then go for full custody so you can care for the kids without problems

Do it, they deserve so much better than what your mother is able to give them at this given time. You and your spouse I am assuming here are stable, caring, and are able to guide them through life in a positive matter. You’re going to have to find their father (s?) And have them also sign off or agree to you getting custody of them as well, so be prepared for that.

1 Like

It sounds like you know what you need to do. Unfortunately they are better off with you. You provide stability. They are lucky to have you.

1 Like

Save your siblings. Your mother needs help. They deserve love and someone who is going to be there for them

get legal guardianship so you can get insurance and stuff. Go to the court house and file I did for my niece in CO.

You are taking care of them, she needs to be financially responsible for providing for their needs until they are 18. You are a more stable home and environment for them to be around so I would say you need to get custody of them and have your mother pay child support.

Follow your heart not your mind and God will show you the right answer

Kids always come first

Yes and you are such a blessing :heart:

1 Like

If you do, do temporary guardianship that way if your mom gets back on her feet and can provide for them, it won’t be as hard to get custody back.

Go for custody. They will be in an unstable environment if they went back. Your mom is proving she isnt stable by dating this drug addict. She hasnt paid for any of there care since Sept. How would she have paid if they were with her.

Yeah I think you should if you are able to take care of them.

Yes I would. I think at this point they’re better off with you and if she showed up tomorrow she can just take them back. I think that’s detrimental to them and with custody you can protect them.

1 Like

Well you yourself can’t grant custody the judge does that. Since they are not your children you would have to file for guardianship first then you can file for custody. Take in proof that you have been fully paying for them such as receipts etc.


Do it. It sounds like she doesn’t really care about them.

We took in kids thats not biologically related to us there mom wont even give her 16 year old her child support card cuz she needs the money for stuff but there mother flat out refuses to give up the child support card to her… And they have been living with us for almost 2 months now… So going off that do whats best for them kids and get at least gardenship… We dont even know where to start with the girls that are staying here because there not biologically related so we are worried the state might try to take them if we go for gardenship

Don’t let the kids get hurt , if drugs and young bf is not going to do the right thing!

1 Like

Do it! Even if you just start with temporary guardianship

Kids need stability in their life and they arent going to get that from their mother.

Yes you absolutely should!! The only people that really matter are your siblings. Sadly it sounds like their Mom has chose a man over giving them a safe, loving home. Hopefully she comes around and puts her kids as her priority but until then you are a angel for taking them in.

I think at this point your siblings would be considered abandoned. You should get to be their guardian. Sounds like the mother doesn’t really have concern for the kids.

Do what is best for you and your family.

If it’s a bad case id at lease go for temp guardianship, and based on her reaction/ if she gets her crap together or not then I’d go for full custody etc, it’s a crap situation either way. Just be ready for whatever happens next❤️

1 Like

I would get guardianship until she is capable or willing to care for them again

Yes I think you should go

1 Like

This is a question better suited for an attorney, who will be more familiar with your state laws and procedures for obtaining custody of family members.

See if she will sign over guardianship its allot cheaper if she doesnt fight & she cant get them back without taking you to court to it’s a win win pretty much. If you go for guardianship make sure that the lawyer writes up for the children to become wards of whatever state you’re in that way if she tries to fight you she has to come to your ( now their) home state.

1 Like

Do whats best for the kids. Your Mother seems to be more concerned with her Bf and he’s using drugs not good for the kids.

1 Like

Yes them kids need love and stability and obviously your mom cant give that to them right now if she were to come swoop them up and she got arrested then they could end up in the state custody and you might not get to see them you are doing a good thing for the kids go to court file abandonment by your mom

Since they are homeless, I would notify CPS and get ur siblings . This will help them, ur mother is unable to get her shit together.

You need guardianship and you can get help from the state to help support them she will be responsible eventually do it and show them love and stability if they will need it so that they grow into young men and women

Kids need a stable enviroment and if you can handle them and your husband is willing then go for it

What are you conflicted about? Curious why your questioning this and are there underlying issues? Those poor kids, praying they stay safe and protected!:pray::pray:

First of all, bless you and your husband! Not everyone would do this. Second go for custody, you seem to be awesome! Give your siblings a chance at a healthy life. Lots of blessings and hugs for y’all

My brothers came to live with me at ages 13 and 11. Was supposed to be temporary. They both stayed there until they graduated from high school. It is a hard road. It is a fine line to walk being their sibling and their parent. However, with their mom neither of them went to school. With me, they both have high school diplomas. As much as they get upset with me for choosing to be the parent, over being their brother, I would do it again. Check around where you live, there should be support programs. I came across one called Kinship Navigator. Their whole purpose is to help people who are raising other people kids. They offer support, guidance, even outings with people in the same situation.

1 Like

Absolutely… God bless you cuz they couldve ended up in foster care if thet didnt have a loving sister.

1 Like

Yes, you sound like you and your husband are giving them the home and stability they need. Sorry but your mum and her husband don’t deserve even thinking about, he sounds like a real losers and she is a loser for being with him.


Best interest of the children.

1 Like

I would say yes but as soon as you file and she is informed she may just take them back to spite you putting them in a bad situation
If it’s about finances you being granted custody would end up with she having to pay child support but the fact that she isn’t supporting them now means it’s pretty unlikely she would actually pay anything to cs

1 Like

Consult an attorney first.
Also, CPS will help you with this, also

1 Like

YES! best thing for the kids! They need stability and you are able and willing to provide it

If in southern Colorado called shad brown he is a lawyer who is wonderful

My dear, bless you for stepping up!! Its,seems you are the best chance they have!! Why do you feel conflicted?? If you can do it w/ out sacrificing your own well being, I day yes!!

Do what you have to do for the children. No hard feelings should be attached. It doesnt appear to be a temporary situation.

1 Like

YES!!! I did the same for my niece and have NEVER regretted my decision!!!


Please dont make them feel guilty for you having to take’s not their fault the need security and love a guidance


Yes do what is best for those kids, take them… could be the wake up call your mom needs, if not you helped your siblings!

We were in a similar situation with our niece and nephew but in Texas. The only regret we have is that we didn’t step in sooner to obtain custody. Just remember that even though they put someone on cold support you may never see a penny. We have 3 parents that are suppose to be paying and we have only received 1 parents payments for about 6 months. It has been 4 and a half years and not much has changed except they are now our babies even though they are 10 and 15.

1 Like

Without a doubt you are a blessing to your siblings. If your moms new husband is using drugs, i hate to be the one to tell you this…but she might be, too. It sounds like she has all kinds of other problems right now, and it doesn’t seem like happy days are coming any time real soon. I would definately recommend getting gaurdianship from your mom. Then she will be able to get them back in time if indeed she is capable to take them back-both mentally and physically. But until that time the kids will be safe and taken care of. You csn receive aid from your state also to help with their care. Good luck & dont feel conflicted. Your mom is in a bad place. Take care of them. Youre doing the right thing.


Yes,I am a grandmother who has been raising two grand,boy is 16 and girl 12! Had them since 2011 still in High school trying to make sure they graduate!there Mom lives right next to us,gives very little help Dad lives in Oklahoma not much from him either but hey we ok,they love their parents,it would just be nice to have more financial help?

1 Like

Protect you siblings. Give them the stable safe home all kids deserve.

1 Like

Yes those babies need a loving home and who better then big sissy. You and your husband are doing an amazing thing :blush:


What ever your mother used you for her baby sister and those kids deserve more it’s hard to take care of kids an it nope cheap put your mother in her place

Definitely take custody of your siblings! Give them a good life!

1 Like

Cps is a joke dont go to them they will make everyrhing 10x harder
Consult your family attorney or any attorney and find out what your legal rights and actions are.

Yes seems to me like you are raising her so make it legal and file for child support and complete custody

Take it to court if you think its in the best interest of your siblings…asking FB is like throwing your concerns to the wolves…we dont know the answers to your situations we are just a bunch of blow holes with opinions and very few true facts.


Do what is best for those kids. They need stability. God bless you.

1 Like

Take it to court. NOT CPS. if you need to pick up your own siblings just because your (and their) mother can’t take care of them correctly and you’re willing and able, do it. 100% There is no question. I don’t know how old they are based on your original post but they should have to deal with shitty parenting, even if they’re almost “grown” (18).

Yes go file to get custody. Apparently she is having to much fun with her new hubby to be responsible. Get custody and make her pay child support. They are her kids.

Your responsibility is to make sure the kids are safe and happy. I wouldn’t risk letting them go back where your mom’s husband is on drugs just my opinion

Absolutely, and don’t forget on your court date to bring proof that she has stopped providing you with money for the things they need, that it had been X amount of time since last contact and you trying to get in contact and proof that her new husband has been in and out of jail during this time for drugs and that’s not a safe environment for children. I would also ask the court because of her husband, to have her drug tested if possible to determine if she is also on drugs.

get custody. It will & is the best thing

1 Like

Yes that should be a question or a Or a option.

Ask yourself what’s best for kids now what’s best for your family financially and kids what do them and you deserve. You got the answer

Yes, get custody. The kids deserve stability and knowing that they won’t have to go back to a life like that.

Yes fill for custody. If she wants you to have her kids, she should give you all the paperwork. My sister’s godson was always being dropped off with us and was always hungry never had what he needed. Once the mother said she needed to go out of state for a week to get paperwork and my mother and I said she needs to right out a letter saying that we would keep him for a week with all hers and his info like social security, birthday, full names. My sister was joking around with her saying let her adopt him and she said I’ll let you know that’s why we took that precaution. She didn’t bring him over.

Yes, get custody immediately. Once child support gets involved she may try to remove them. They need stability!

Girl you are AMAZING :heartpulse::heartpulse::heartpulse: YES!!! You will never regret it!!!

Yes go for full custody

Yes. Go for custody and child support.

If you want them yes but your not obligated if it puts to much strain on your life

Yes the kids need you as a stable person in their life. Do what you need to do to keep them safe.

You are the only one who can answer that

Those aren’t your children your mother decided to have your siblings, it is her responsibility. If she was growing enough to lay down with a man and have those babis, she should be grown enough to take care of them… And if not you need to do what you need to do to help take care of them in every way shape and form, and that especially means financially.

Do you have doubts? You are asking us so just curious.

If you don’t they will either go into someones house who doesn’t care about them ,or adopted and separated so they don;t just loose their mother and sister but each other. I know it will be hard but if your husband says we can do it, you will worry about them the rest of your life. Sit them down and talk to them tell them you will need their help. But with love and hard work you can do it. Get in a church and ask for help if you need it. I will be Praying for you.

Your siblings need stability. If you don’t seek custody, eventually the courts will place them in foster care, which is sometimes a nightmare.