Should I have to help my ex pay to take our kids on vacay?

My kids father wants to take the kids on vacation for their fall break. I was hesitant at first because I already had plans to take our kids somewhere and took off work to do so. I decided to let them go since he said he wanted to take them to Disney world and he hasn't taken them on vacation before. I take them on vacation 3+ times a year but he never takes a vacation. They are 9 and 10. He told us all he had everything booked and ready to go last week. The kids were super excited. Today he calls me and says he doesn't know if he has enough money for Disney world which is a problem because his gf and her kids that are going already bought their tickets for it and they can't get a refund on their condo. He asked if I'd give 800 for them to go. So not only would I not take the vacation with them but I'd have to pay for them to go on vacation??? I'm super disappointed because the kids were excited and it breaks my heart for them. If I don't help with it then what? The kids will know he promised something that he can't do but also goes without them? I'm beyond mad about it.
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Honestly that’s all on him. He said he was taking them that means he should have saved the money to do so. However from now on I would t tell the kids they are going on a trip until tickets are actually paid for and money is saved. I would pay for them to go this once but tell him he needs to pay you back.

Firm no. He probably wanted to look like he was “the man” and paid his girlfriends way, which is why he can’t afford his own kids trip now. It’s his problem.

Take your kids on vacation as you originally had planned. Have fun!

As bad as it sucks, I would do it IF I could. I mean, you know if ya dont they are gonna be heartbroken but I would def let them know I was giving that much ( if they are old enough to get it) I dont mean let them know in a butthole type of way just " Im giving your Dad the money I would have uses for yall on our trip so u guys can have a great time…some just subtle way but def NOT keep it a secret. Odds are he knew exactly what he was doing fron the start but it is not about him, just the kids. Its really hard to keep that in your head when the other parent is a total irresponsible idiot but it damn sure makes you the bigger better person. Just fyi him & the gf that you WON’T ever do it again and are not okay with it but love your babies enough to do it for them. Like, my husband drive 3 hours away once to fix my exs truck so he could come get our kids, knowing full well he wouldnt ever actually come, it never came back to bite us on the ass but it does say alot about the lengths we both woukd go for now OUR babies

I’m guessing he doesn’t foot the bill for any of the vacations you take the kids on. Do you shouldn’t for him, you gave up a vacation and the kids disappointment is on him. I think he gave you little notice to guilt you in to paying. Don’t pay and do something with the kids yourself. And make sure in future he doesmt tell the kids until it is all paid for

Well, no, you shouldn’t have to help him, ultimately this is his fault and he didn’t plan accordingly, I, personally, would not “help” him in any way, unless I had the means to do it and be ok knowing that the vacation is for the kids, and that would make them happy, but it comes down to whatever you want, you don’t have to help in any way, but it’s all up to you…

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I have to help my ex pay to take our kids on vacay? - Mamas Uncut

I would help but it would never happen again

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If you can afford it i would but i would make it a loan to there dad and write it up as a loan and he has pay it back

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Simple say I’m sorry kids dad won’t be able to take you. As you stated you asked off to take them on vacation already. So do just that take them on vacation. It’s really their dad’s loss and yes the kids will be hurt but at the same time they would see what their dad is really all about. Which I’m sure they know already!

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That’s on him girl. Let them see him for who he is. They will eventually anyways.

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I would let the kids see how he is, those are his true colors.

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If you can afford it, give him the money. It’s not for him, it’s for them. I know it sucks but it’s Disney. They’ll love it and love you for making it happen.

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Since you already took the time off work just take them on vacation with you.

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well, shit… I think if I could afford it,.I would. for the kids. but I’d still be mad. and I’d definitely let it drop that you’re helping pay for it to the kids

If everything was booked already, it sounds like he is trying to get money off you. I’d buy the tickets myself, before I gave someone $800.

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I’d do it this one time since they’re already excited but tell him he’s paying me back over the next few weeks for sure and that I’m not doing it again.

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800 sounds like he want you to pay for him, his girl and all the kids. Disney may cost something but we always pulled it off for cheaper than that.

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Keep your money and take the kids yourself. That’s very shitty. What happened to the money he had for it?

This situation sucks and you have every right to be pissed. But if it’s for your kid, then yes. Pay the 800 if you can afford it. This is a memory they’ll always have with their dad. Often times us mother’s have to swallow our pride and anger and make the exes look good. I hope you’ll come to find the right decision for you. Good luck.

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Noooooooo. His vacation, his budget. The kids might be disappointed but it is a great time to discuss budgeting money, etc.

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Take them to Disney your damn self

I get all your points, but I would just do it for the kids. They are whats important

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I’d buy your kids tickets and stuff, do it that way.

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He shouldn’t have made plans if he couldn’t fallow through. If it was a couple hundred dollars I’d say do it but $800 is a lot. Also I’d ask myself if the shoe was on the other foot would be give you the money ?

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Take them on your own vacation.

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I’d look up the price of the tickets for the day that she has her tickets! Once you confirm the price I’d make him send his portion and then you just put the rest of the amount with it and buy the tickets online and send them to him! The rest would be on him!!!

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He should pay for the trip but I always give my kid spending money to play with but it’s his place to pay for the trip

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Hard No! He said he already had the tickets. If he can’t come up with the money that’s a him problem not a you problem. Does he pay for your vacation? I’m guessing no. So let HIM tell them they can’t go and why. Or you can suck it up and pay for a vacation you can’t enjoy with them. Or better yet. Of you can afford it…. You go too! Book a hotel close to their condo.

You already had plans with them - take them - and have a great time. Make their father tell them that they are not going to Disney

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I wouldn’t pay. He told you it was already booked in advance so how come he needs the money now? He should of planned better if that’s the case. It’s not your responsibility. Yes, it will suck for the kids but that’s his fault not yours.

I certainly wouldnt just hand him cash! If he planned the trip he should have budgeted better. If you feel inclined to save face for him then buy the tickets for ur kids and thats it

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Might as well take them your self. I wouldn’t give him nothing. DONT DO IT.

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Nope! I wouldn’t do it!

You take the kids to Disney. And let him tell them why he can’t take them but he can take gf kids. It’s on him. Not you.

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Girlfriend seems to have money. She is his problem now …

Id buy the tickets and go with them too, I’m not missing my kids faces for their first time at Disney idc idc lol

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Or just take them to Disney at the same time they’re going and you can find cool stuff to do while they spend time with him and then they can spend time with you as well if that’s something you would like to do

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Wow this one is hard… but I don’t see why you should have to pay for it. Does he pay for anything when you take them on vacation? I’d take my own vacation with the kids and he can explain later on that he couldn’t afford it.

I would not give him a dollar you take your amazing children to Disney yourself

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Tell him no and take them there yourself and meet up with them their
If he doesn’t want to to do that then he’s just trying to get you to pay for everyone

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I feel like you should plan something with your kids and you. I understand that he promised them, but what if you did that to them, and asked him for $800 for you to take them somewhere. Would he pay that much $ for you to take them somewhere and have fun??

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Nope! I’m sure there are many, many things you buy the kiddos that are not even close to being covered by any child support he pays. It’s very sad for your kids but this might be a truth they need to see. :broken_heart:

don’t give him any money . you take your kids somewhere on your time

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Sounds to me like this Disney trip was planned for him his gf and her kids and he decided to bring his own along last minute. I don’t understand why he’d need 800 if that’s the case tell him that you don’t mind paying for the kids tickets and you’ll even give them extra money for food for your children since his girlfriend and her kids seem to be taken care of already or since you have the time off already take them on your own vacation.

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Wow. I definitely wouldnt. I would just take the kids wherever you first had planned. That’s a lot of money!

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I would have to see what the $800 was going towards first. I just don’t get what he would need if it was booked. When I was around that age my parents were divorced and we would get sent with our own extra money to pay for extra things or food if we needed. I’m not sure I would just give him $800.

You take them, make the memories not him!

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Personally - I would struggle with this. But I think it would be a no, I’m sorry I am not able to do that

Nope don’t do it …you take them like originally planned

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Instead of giving him cash I’d buy the kids tickets or something like that.

Or you take them on vacation and then you get to go since you already took the time off?

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I would take my kids with my money even if I had to add more. If hecwants to take them its on his money

I wouldn’t do it. I’d use the money to take them myself. Tell the kids the truth. I think they’re old enough to understand.

You shouldn’t have to help, but this is an opportunity to give them good memories with him.

That’s a lot of money to give him. If it was one or two hundred to help maybe but that’s a lot. I would just tell him that if you can’t do it then don’t promise them something because it isn’t your responsibility to pay for his vacation. And I would take the kids on vacation yourself. If this is how he is then this won’t be the first time this issue comes along. Will he alway expect you to pay for them?

Maybe do it & ask for him to pay you back?

Buy the tickets yourself and give him a gift card for their food and stuff to get from the gift store. He can pay for the hotel or where ever they’re staying. Sounds like he’s just wanting you to pay for it all. If couldn’t afford it then he shouldn’t have planned it. Those are his kids too.

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Nope. I’d take them somewhere myself. That’s his fault not yours

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Hell no! He’s just trying to get money from you. Tell him if he can’t afford it then they can’t go & u take them somewhere!

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No, and that’s okay that your kids will see he makes promises he can’t keep :woman_shrugging:t2: cause why is he telling them something like that when he doesn’t even have enough money for it? And I’m pretty sure if he wants them to go that bad he will come up with the money for them

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Let the kids be disappointed. They need to see the true colors of their Dad

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It’s his problem, let him work it out. Can you afford to take them? They could go and so could you. I would not let him get a free vacation on my budget

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No way. He can figure it out. He can get a loan and make payments. Or put it on a credit card and make payments. He should have thought about this.

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Take them on vacation with that $800

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That’s on him. HE chose to take the kids on vacation, HE can pay for said vacation. That is not your responsibility, you are nottttt entitled to pay for HIS vacation. So now HE can explain to the kids that HE messed up and cannot do what he originally promised.

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Let him dig his own hole and u take ur kids on vacay

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I don’t think is fair :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: it sounds like if you don’t help they won’t go , tell him you go 1/2 & you are doing it so your boys won’t be disappointed :+1:
Also let him know , when you have plans you will not change them !

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no, that is his personal vacation time with him

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I would say pay for it but he needs to pay you back

No way I’d give him money!!! He is a grown man. He needs to make it happen himself! He has plenty of time to figure it out.

You take them to Disney yourself instead lol

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100% no! That is his problem!

Don’t give him the money cause it will never stop… easier to let the kids go thru it now then years from now , they will also wonder why you lied about DAD TAKING THEM ON VACATION

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I wouldn’t. Honestly if he knew he was going on vacation, he could’ve saved his money for something that huge.

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Nope you can take them on a mini vacation with 800 dollars

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You Should Just Take Them On The Vacation With You. He Knew The Dates & Prices Already & Planned. If He Could Not Afford It Then He Shouldn’t Have Told The Children He Would Take Them. If You Do Choose To Help Just Buy The Tickets Yourself Because He Could Be Lying About Needing The Money.

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Idk… I might consider doing it for the kids.
Lol, doesn’t a week off from work and kid free sound nice?! Girl, you could seriously have a blast while they were gone​:crazy_face::joy::rofl:

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No don’t help him! Take your kids on the vac you already planned. If he can’t afford it that’s his problem

Absolutely not. But then you take them to DW

Just take them yourself!!! He haves the money hes making ex3

Absolutely not. Sounds like the children got included after the fact. He had already planned to go with gf and her kids.
You take them on vacation as you originally planned.
His lose is your gain.

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Not your duty. If he wanted to take them he should have worked that out in advance. Not wait last minute and then ask you to pay.
Take them yourself and have an amazing time

No. That is something he promised, not you. I would not bankroll his promises to the kids, thats not your place.

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Ehhh this is tough. Suck it up and hand over the money (IF you have it) and let you kids have great memories with dad, or watch your kids get crushed cuz he’s still gonna go but without them

Sorry but no and this is his fault. He can’t blame you and needs to discuss his bad budgeting and planning with them as a lesson. In saying that if you want your babies to have fun and can do it without resentment then why not. It will greatly improve your coparenting relationship rather then negatively effect it. When your babies are older you can tell them what you did for them and they will be thankful. Goodluck.

Nope. I wouldn’t help him.

You would be crazy to give him any money, in my opinion.
That’s a lot of money, you’d be paying for him too.
Now I would give my kids $100 prepaid card each for spending money but that’s it

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Yeah do it.he is a piece of shit.but this is your kids.be the better human just this once.

I would do it so my baby could have that time with her dad. It’s not you versus him its what’s best for the kids.

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Ugh, if I could… I might help him but I wouldn’t just hand over cash. That’s tough but it’s always about putting the kids first. You definitely don’t deserve this, keep being an awesome mom♥️

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Get a loan a promise to a child matters and he is a liar

Help him, it’s for your kids. They are looking forward to it and nothing else matters. You’ll help give them a memory they won’t forget.:heart:

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I think as moms we have to stop being greedy. We always want dads to pay for everything…yes, I am saying that moms what dads to pay for vacations…moms also take way more in child support then they should/need to…but what we need to do more is put our kids first and remember it’s not all about the money. Personally, I would not accept a child support payment for that month.

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So wait a minute: his failure to plan accordingly somehow becomes your responsibility? No. No. And for in case you didn’t hear it, here’s a very loud No.

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Not even a little!!! I agree take them yourself

I’d do it if it didn’t trouble me financially. Whatever :woman_shrugging:t2: there’s bigger things to worry about & the kids will be happy.

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I’d get the money together and YOU & YOUR KIDS go to Disney. Y’all can meet there! :hugs:

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Girl I know it’s for the kids but all I hear is you sacrificing EVERYTHING to make him look better. Your kids should go with you and they should know why they aren’t going with him and HE needs to be the one to tell them. I KNOW it hurts to see your babies hurting because of the other parent, but you can’t cover all of his faults forever and they will eventually see it and think YOU were the one to blame since you hid everything from them.
You could also purchase the tickets for the kids yourself and tell him he is paying for everything else including his tickets.
There are pros and cons of each ending here but I personally do not think you should be paying that much for something HE promised them.

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Nope! Just take them on vacation with you.

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