I am so sad. My 5 year old daughter has expressed to me that she wants to go live with her dad…and i get it. I have been struggling since we split up and doing my best to provide for her but her dad can give her things I cannot…he has a pool, his new wife is always there and theyre always going out and going shoppin…i understand why she would rather be there but i am heartbroken…do i let her go?
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Split custody so she has the best of both worlds, money and stuff doesn’t always make the better parent. Best of luck
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Let her stay the night several nights thru the week but no don’t let her move In. She is nowhere near the age of deciding that . My kids r 7 and 9 and I split from their dad when the youngest was 8 months. They will never be able to “live with him” it’s spend the night or weekend
I let my son go with my ex as he wanted the worst mistake ever 40yrs later
No… do joint custody.
It’s a 5 year old. You are her mom.
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I wouldn’t. Maybe let her visit more.
No never give up your child! She’s too young to make that decision.
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You are her mom, I let my nine year old daughter to go an live with her dad it was the biggest mistake of my life… probably just let her spend weekends
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She is not old enough to decide, dad’s new wife is fun for now. Think long term.
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Sounds like they trying to buy her love
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Wow they have a pool …smfh
No way. 5 is way too young to make that decision and she needs her mother not materialistic things. Maybe work out more time to equal it out at both homes
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I’d just split custody. Give them 50/50 then as she gets older if she rather be with you more or them more then that’s what I’d do. I cannot imagine how hard this must be on you cause if that was my daughter I’d be heart broken.
All these women saying no and that you’re her mother also need to understand that he is her FATHER, he’s equally important.
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Maybe she’s just hearing what others are saying around her? Regardless I wouldn’t. In my opinion she’s to young to even fully understand what she’s asking for. Your her mama, she needs you. Maybe set up more time for her to spend there 
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Does he live close enough that you could do week on week off. It will give you a break and time to get your groove back without going too long without her and missing her like crazy. This will also show her what it’s like during the week. If she currently only goes on weekends it would look like so much fun while she’s there and this would show her its not always like that and rethink her request. I think straight up saying NO would make her resentful (and yes, 5 year olds can feel that way), give her a chance to see for herself. You’re not giving up, you would be taking breaks and teaching her a valuable life lesson.
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No don’t let her move in with him. Let her visit more. Little girls need their mommy. Money, shopping and pool isn’t everything. Hang in there, things will turn around for you.
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Of course she will prefer to live with him because he can provide a “ better life“ but that is not all she needs,do split custody while you get back on your feet
No.please dont .you will regret it
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5 is to young. If he is a good father and he agrees, I would personally try a schedule that’s as close to 50/50 as possible.
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Mom didn’t let my bonus kids. Both turned 18 and moved in with dad.
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She only wants to do that because of what they can give her in material/possessions. Letting her go teaches her what? Entitlement? Spoiled brat attitude? She needs the values you can teach her of earning things, working hard to get nice stuff. Letting her go teaches her nothing except that she should expect things handed to her if she throws a big enough fit. How will that make you feel then?
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Maybe just split custody? Let her go stay with them when she wants but also with you
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No…you need to take this opportunity and teach her that life is not about the monatery things.
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Maybe let her go every weekend and school breaks,but she’s 5 doesn’t know what’s good for. Besides a child that is given everything will never learn or want to do anything. Kids these days want everything handed to them. Just because they can give her stuff doesn’t mean they should make a habit of it. Of course the kids always want to live with the fun parent. Doesn’t mean that is best for them.
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No. Material things can’t replace the love from a Mother.
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Why not one week on, one week off? I know it would be hard on you emotionally. But financially it may help you out right now having two weeks a month you don’t have to worry about financially supporting her. Yet you still get her every other week. Knowing she could have had more growing up, and it wasn’t allowed by you, may make her resent you the older she gets. She’s not doing it to hurt you.
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As much as it hurts maybe let her go and see how it works out. Gives you time to yourself and may help you to get on your feet like you want to
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No!! She isn’t old enough to make that choice. Let her go there, more often, if needed, absolutely do not give her to him!!
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It’s her dad . If that’s what she wants , let her . Daughters need their daddy . And she will absolutely alwaaaaaaays love you .
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Kids think grass is greener on the other side my niece insisted on living with her mom and was miserable until she was able to move back in with her dad
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If you do it it’ll be hard to revert back from… I’d say send her more often but I personally wouldn’t unless you know that every area of her life would be better there than with you. She needs you both overall…
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No they aren’t reasons to give up a kid.
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No, she’s only 5. Just because they have more money to spoil her with doesn’t mean she is better off with them. She still needs her mumma.
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i don’t get why people are saying no 
If he can provide and looks after then why is a mum more entitled.
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I think to give solid advice I’d have to know more. Like why not split 50/50. That’s what my ex and I do and it works out perfectly for everyone. Everyone saying no don’t do you’ll regret could be wrong. If you are struggling and it’s in the best interest of your daughter I’d love with her father (for the time being) then by all means let her. But there’s more to being a parent than shopping and having a pool. Sometimes leaving with the father is for the best, every situation is different. I would strongly recommend ( if y’all live close enough to each other) to split the time. It’s a conversation you need to have with her dad. You may need time to get back in your feet. That’s not a bad thing. And everyone saying she isn’t old enough to know what she wants is wrong. It’s her FATHER she is talking about. If she was saying she wanted to live with her mom folks wouldn’t being she isn’t old enough.
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Although her feelings are valid… remember She’s only 5. The “non custodial parent” can easily be viewed as the “fun” parent. I’m sure she also wants sugar for every meal & pony rides to her bed at night. You don’t have to give custody up because he has “more”. It’s not all about that. You sound like a caring mom. Maybe let her do more visits. Your child will remember you playing with her, the way you laugh (non materialistic things. Eventually she’ll forget all the “gifts”.
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Yes. It’s her life she should be able to pick it. If not full custody do half.
She is FIVE. We also have to help and protect them from crossing the road in front of a car. Remind them to buckle up, or make sure we buckle up. I’m all for letting children choose and make decisions appropriate for their age, but at 5 that would be choosing between peas or carrots, bathing before or after dinner, not who and where she lives. Stay strong, mama. You are what’s best for her right now.
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I’d go with one week on and one week off. As long as she’s safe and he’s a good father and his girlfriend is a good bonus mom I really don’t see the issue.
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To put it nicely, fuck no.
No she’s only 5. She can’t really understand what that would mean. Maybe see if she’d be open to just spending more time over there than she does now?
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Once that pool and shopping gets old, she’s going to want to come back to you. It’s not like she’s in a abusive environment and wants to leave. So nope 
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Honestly don’t ask Facebook,
You’ll get so many mixed reviews.
Do what is right for her.
Not because they have this and that but if they are in the right position to have her and you feel it’s right for her and her growth then definitely take the option up.
Or maybe even offering her to go there more often instead of a full move in.
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Can’t you just do 50/50? She still needs her mama 
she’s only 5 and I’m sorry for what you’re going through as that has to be hard but she still needs you mama
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Switch every other week maybe
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She’s 5 definitely not old enough to understand and it’s not always about Material things it’s about LOVE and as long as has that with you that’s all she needs!!!
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Why not do 50/50 2 weeks on 2 weeks off… this way she sees daddy but still has mommy as well…
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You could also just do split custody, some weeks there some weeks with you
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If you’re struggling then it might honestly help. Get back on your feet. Schedule meet ups. And take care of you & use that time sort things out. It’s gonna be hard but you’re doing it for the right reasons. Then once you’re no longer struggling talk to her father & his wife. Hope this helps hun good luck 
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No I did this when my son was 12 biggest regret of my life…he is now 26 and understand the grass wasn’t greener on the other side… Many years lost but we have a very strong bond and relationships now
I wouldn’t let her live for myself no but how often does she go over there ?
Maybe have her spend the summer and work out weekends special occasions days you get her remember it’s not always material things they don’t last forever…
My daughter is 5 and quite often she wants to go over her father’s side of the family with a pool but once that’s over nothing can replace the laughs and games that we share and when asked to play by dad he doesn’t want to because his mom taught him money I’m not rich we all do our best
Yes, let her go. When she misses you, she will want to come back. It’s her father….you’re not sending her off to somewhere she doesn’t want to go.
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Is his new wife her primary caregiver while there? If so. Absolutely not.
Idk where you live but here in the UK in a court of law a child cannot choose where they want to live until they are 10 because they don’t have capacity to make such decisions until then… Why not have joint custody? Also a kid will always want to go where they get “more” but that’s not always what a child needs or what’s best for them
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personally I would not
No! Sit down and discuss why she wants to live with her Dad ! She may not understand why she does
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No mama you don’t give in to that. What I did is I let mine go and come as she wanted but she lives with me. She will see that money doesn’t buy happiness. Spend time with her and y’all go on your own adventures. You don’t have to keep up with them to try and build a healthy relationship with your child. Do not let her live with him. She needs you too mama. Again I would let her go and come as she wants if she is having a hard time adjusting. Try it out and see how it goes. Figure out what is comfortable and y’all co-parent about it. She is 5. It’s more fun and that is what she sees as a child. Spend special time with her and y’all create your own memories
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No. You will regret it. I sent my 14 yr old to live with dad. I regret it every day. I miss her home everyday and it’s been 2 years.
She’s only 5, too young to understand the differences. Ask yourself where her needs are best served. Personally, I think daughters belong with mothers. Nothing against dads, probably because my Mum died when I was young, there are so many things only a Mum can explain and help with, my Dad did his best.
You could try joint custody. Do you live in the same school district as her dad does? If you don’t, that might be a problem. You might want to look at moving closer. Then you could look joint custody and your daughter could alternate weeks. A week with you, a week with him, back to you, etc. In the summer and over the holidays, you could just keep it going.
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I’ll never understand why moms think that they are always the better parent… this is not directed at the OP by the way. If you’re struggling , maybe let her go for a little. Maybe she misses her dad. If you guys live close enough maybe do a split schedule
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You let her have her time but she still needs you, too. She’s 5. She doesn’t understand how important you are to her. You’re going to have to work out the most equal amount of time which includes you.
No, split custody is okay but never give up your custody, especially not for material things, they are not what she needs. She needs her mom, and her dad, step mom can be a bonus for sure but you are her mother end of story.
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5 year olds don’t get to decide something this big
They will always pick whatever is more fun
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Money does not make a happy home.
Money does not make a happy home.
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? I’m confused, do yall not co parent?
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Lotta strong bias in these comments lol
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no way don’t give up on her
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No. Not for materialistic things. That won’t last longer but your relationship with her is more important. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
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So you will basically teach her that money and material things is happiness
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Thats your choice not hers an I say no
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No she’s only 5. Does he pay child support since he sounds like he makes good $?
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No , Don’t give up on her
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She is too young to make this decision. Hell no!!!
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My opinion is that at least 50/50 custody or something. She’s 5, needs her mum. Is it possible they’re trying to buy her love with all of the material things? You do what’s in your heart but I wouldn’t like give full custody or anything like that
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Um no. Just do 50 50 care??,
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My kid isn’t living with anyone but me
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She is no way old enough to get to make those decisions. She doesn’t even understand what that means… I glad she has a good father so maybe 50/50 but do not let her move out because she says she wants to. My kids wanted to move when I wouldn’t let them have ice cream and cheetos for breakfast. Too bad, I will make the important decisions, because clearly they cannot.
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So what’s best for your child but if you decide to do this make sure it’s temporary until you get on your feet…they may be filling her with this and noBody is gonna treat your child like you do
Me: my child doesn’t decide to make this decision and I would not let her do and explain this to her
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no, sounds like she is being bribed with the pool and shopping trips. She is only 5 and unable to make adult decisions. She may resent you later if you just send her off to her dad’s . Is he even paying child support and helping out with health insurance?
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A 5 year shouldn’t be allowed to determine where she wants to live. If u can provide a roof , food and essentials then the rest is a Luxury!
Absolutely not material items aren’t even close to what you can give her in love and support kids don’t need new toys and trips all the time they needs their mom and dad together or not
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I would try harder to get her equal time there and with me. She’s only 5 of course she wants to go where there’s more stuff, and that’s fair. She still needs her mom though. I think it’s a good teaching moment about healthy compromise within family.
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No, she is not old enough to make her own choices. Why not look at week about? 50/50? You ate her mother and whether it’s a struggle only you can love her like no other. Your her mum!
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No! Never let go of your kids
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No. Unless you are incapable or wanting this too. Little girls, hell girls of all ages need their moms. You think daddy issues is a problem. Mom issues is way bigger
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and don’t listen to all these bitter Bettys saying she’s being manipulated on purpose. Your ex and his wife have every right to live within their means and your daughter absolutely deserves to share those things with the other half of her family. Don’t feel bad you can’t give her those things too, be happy she gets them when she’s there. When she’s with you she gets different things, and between the two homes it all mushes together to shape who she’ll be. If you and dad can work together and do it right it sounds like you’ve got a recipe for a good balance between 2 worlds, you just gotta teach her to appreciate it and understand how lucky she is. You are enough for her, she’s 5 she’s just looking at shinies and that’s normal. It doesn’t mean anyone is manipulating her.
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No, if you love her with all your heart, do not let him have her full time. He should know that she needs both parents equally to co parent her. Material things are not important, it’s time and love that matter most
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Do not do that please. Do 50/50.
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I wouldn’t let her go. She’s only 5 and sees as Disneyland dad. You will be teaching her that material things are more important than being loved. If you want her to spend a little more time with her dad then go to court and amend your orders. Don’t let her make that decision, she is to young.
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I went thru this when my kids were little. I’ll share with you what one person asked me “do you really believe that someone else can possibly love your children more than you”?
The answer was no. While my ex could offer them more material things, I had much more to offer, that had nothing to do with material things.
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Here’s Another Question?, Does He Want Her There?
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Life isn’t about things
Do what is best for her and who can provide better for her and when …not just money or things…but TIME SPENT
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my sons father and i split the week in half and tell him he lives both places with each parent
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If you do that then you might never get her back.
Why not split custody? Me and my ex do week on week off, let’s the kids get time with us both, and gives us time to do adult things without kids, it’s going pretty well. We each pay for our own stuff, discuss illness/schooling/etc work around important dates like holidays and birthdays
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No, maybe joint custody or something I just couldn’t let my baby go. Its not about material things.
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