Soooo…in my opinion I think this summer let her go over there for the court order papers say and then once you got her look for things the city is offering most are free and last a few hours bonding time! Make that bond with her girl that’s what matters figure out what she likes the most mostest lol that’s how my 5 year old says.
Look into it they should have morning and afternoon programs!! You got this!!
No.
Your daughter doesn’t need a pool or shopping sprees. She needs her mom. She needs her dad.
It’s ok that the two houses aren’t the same. Just love her and do your best. I promise that’s enough
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Pools and shopping and stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is where is she going to be loved, supported, cared for, encouraged and so on the most? Which household is the healthiest mentally and emotionally for her? If it is both of you that can offer those things then split your time evenly, if it is you then you have her and give him good visitations and time with her and if it is him then do what’s best for her. Being a parent is never easy especially when you aren’t with the other parent, we all want to do what’s best for our kids but trust me the materialistic crap doesn’t matter. My favorite memories and time with my parents were playing cards at home, playing badminton in the backyard and having funny conversations at the dinner tables but also the times that they were there for me when I needed them to be. That’s what matters.
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You had that child in your body for nine months you went through labour with her , teething,potty training you’ve already given her so much she will need her mum even more as she gets older,not a new toy
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Share custody. She will soon realise Mum is not so bad.
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Why not…if he is involved in her life and is stable I would definitely respect her wishes…or you can do a 50.50 schedule so she’s with both of yall evenly…week on week off…month on month off
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Share the time … She needs both of you no matter how different your lives are … So many kids don’t have both parents … Do your best - that’s all anyone can do … If you choose to give him more time because he’s able to provide differently so be it but keep her in your life no matter what it takes …
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No. The hardest part of being a parent is … well, being a parent. She’s your daughter, not your friend. Maybe you and your ex can work out a better visitation schedule, so your daughter can spend more time here & there with her dad, but she needs to be with you. She needs to learn that “things” aren’t the important things in life … people are.
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That material crap aint gonna be what matters its the love shes getting
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50/50.
She is To Young to make that decision In my opinion
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No! You share time with her father, yes. But she’s 5! Don’t give her the privilege of picking where she wants to live at 5!
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You don’t own her. He is just as much her parent as you are. If he can provide a better life right now, you are refusing to allow her to live her best life. Do 50/50. Let her primary home be there. Be civil with him, work more and spend all your free time with her that you can. Improve your life so you can improve hers.
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Your the mom doing the best that you can to provide she’s not old enough to make her own decisions yet hold your head yp
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You should teach her that love is more important than material things !!!
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She needs her mom. Not a pool. Why would you ever think that way. Hold on to your child. Tell her discussion over till she’s put of highschool ! But she can visit and swim
Lol
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Shes litterly FIVE , 5… that is not old enough to make a decision? She doesnt know what she wants…
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Yes. So long as you are still seeing your child and sharing custody with visitation,co parenting, etc it really doesn’t matter where the child “lives”
As long as your child is secure and happy and thriving. As you said yourself living with Dad is easier and with other benefits if you’re struggling, as parents our job is to provide our children the best home possible, so allow for that, don’t make your struggle, your child’s struggle. You’re the mom and you’re raising your child. The address she receives mail is really not the focus/priority.
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No. Straight up no. 5 is too young to decide.
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Absolutely not. As a single mother who raised 2 children on my own, yes it was rough and I couldn’t afford all the expensive gifts and trips their father gave them, but they knew I loved them with every fiber of my being and I was there for them in all the important ways. Loving your child trumps materialistic things any day. She is only 5 and doesn’t really understand that yet. She needs you in her life on a daily basis. She will grow up a better person knowing that things aren’t just handed to us on a silver platter. If he’s not paying you child support, he should be; he’s equally responsible monetarily for her and it will make things a little easier for you. Stay strong and don’t give up!
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Keep the custody but let her go more than the divorce papers allow. Keep her in her school now and let her spend summers at her dad’s. You can work it out and she can be with you both. You don’t ever want her to think you gave her up. Talk to a counselor and think it over very carefully.
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from Someone that grow up poor NO! A better life is not having a good family that has noce finances but a family that will lover her, and will used their strugles to be a good example of perseverance.
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No… being a good parent isn’t about providing them stuff- it’s about showing them love and balance, she’s far to young to make a decision like that, they’ll be times when she doesn’t get what she wants from her dad and says the same to him. Keep strong and keep going- you’ve got this 
x
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I would say no if it were my kid. But every situation is different. I would be afraid if I let her go, you may not ever get her back. Idk. I wouldn’t do it.
No … I am a single parent to 6yr old and 10 yr old … they always expression wanting to live with dad ( even thou dad not been in their lives for3 years). So I would say no . You can visit dad anytime but you living here with me … you are trying your best she will get that later in life …
Correct me if I’m wrong (and no judgment from me whatsoever) the things you listed in ny opinion are all financial/want bonuses (which at her age she needs to be taught money, materialistic things aren’t as important as unconditional love ) ok her dad might can so more for her now in that aspect at this moment. But what about mental or emotional stability/needs…money, shopping, pools etc. Are all "wants " not needs! Don’t be hard on yourself mama, we all struggle as parents. She has to learn life ain’t always fair, tell her when she is 13 then she can make that decision but for now your gonna stay with mommy but you can see daddy any time you want long as he ain’t working or in a.meerimg etc. Teach her how to love and appreciate what she does have in life…I know she’s young, but she will learn 
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Yes you let her go. In your own words you are struggling. It’s about what’s best for the child and by the sounds of it dad is best
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If that is what she really wants, do one week on and one off… and nobody pays child support, hopefully you live close to each to be able to do that. Be Thankful she has a Dad, that wants to be involved.
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No but explain it to her in a way that she’ll understand
How would she be treated being there 24-7 . Sure it’s fine when visiting but would the new wife enjoy an entire responsibility that technically isn’t hers ( yes she married him knowing he has a child ) doesn’t mean she wants to play babysitter. Would she be treated good ALL THE TIME ? Not just when dad is there ?
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She is only 5 why are you allowing her to make decisions.
She should stay with you
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It’s a heartbreaking decision, but if dad can provide for her, then do what’s best. Sending thoughts and prayers 
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Ahe is to young to make a desion at 5 , i feel she is meant to stay with you , Its not about material things , Let her Dad an his new wife spoil her while shes there . But need to stay with you till at least 12 … 15 years old YOUR HER MOTHER …It will work out well … ALL THE BEST …
No, but talk to the father and arrange something convenient.
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Why not do 50/50. Week on with you week in with them each get a weekend and split holidays.
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No. It’s not about buying her love it’s about providing her with emotional and mental support for her wellbeing.
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A lot of you say no but if there is nothing wrong with the father and he is still in her life and can provide a better life instead of her own words a struggling one then yes she should be allowed to go to her fathers. Those that say no are being selfish, I understand that she should learn unconditional lice VS. Materialistic wants but I feel that’s not the reason a lit of yall said no.
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Sadly I went thru this with my son, a lot of similarities. I thought long and hard but thought he is his parent as much as I am. What gives me any more right to keep him as he has? What is best for my son. Not me. I explained to him that no matter what anyone says, I’m doing this because I love him. If that’s what he truly wants and feels he needs then he can go and I would do the visitations (often). We co parent well. I knew if it were materialistic reasons, he’d be back. I told him what I expected as far as he had to keep his grades up, go to school unless he was truly sick, continue doing certain things he was doing, etc and reminded again that I LOVED him more then anything. It only lasted about 8 months. He realized the material things weren’t better then mommas love and affection. His dad is a good dad, don’t take that as he isn’t. But mamaw also lived next door and he was mamaws baby, mamaws firat grand. He Completely changed his outlook and the way he acted towards me before (he was a little hateful at me trying to push me away so I would let him go, that’s why kept telling him how much I loved him). It hurt a LOT, but his dad was a good dad and I felt if that’s where he was happy (I knew he would be taken good care of) I wasn’t going to have him hate me later in life. It’s a tough choice and thankfully it worked out for us and he did come back. He’s 20 now and an absolute mommas boy.
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Yeah that’s a big no from me, like do u not value yourself as a mom, listen ur kid needs a mom not a nice place w a pool and plus it’s not like she’s not going to enjoy her dads house since she will be w him some times as well. And she’s too little to decide. This is all u so really ask yourself if this is what u want? Cuz I wouldn’t even be asking I know for a fact that my kids are staying w me regardless of who can give her more.
l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $17853 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Absolutely NOT… She will grow up being a spoiled brat. Life is not about materialistic things Teach her the right way
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I say yes if he is a good dad and him and his wife don’t abuse her why not let her so you can get on your feet you would still get her. Just like he does now there is nothing wrong with kids living with their dads. Id she is old enough to express how she feels then listen to her if you don’t for your own selfish reason she will grow up to resent you
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Can you do 50/50 care?
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Tell me more about the parenting in both places. Is bonus mom also warm and caring. Are there other kids there? Is her dad attentive? Who will be with her most of the time? Are you close by enough to see her a ton? What does dad think? Can she maybe live there for summer vacation and weekends? Will her being there allow you to get into a better place financially so you are able to coparent with less stress and therefor spend quality time when you do have her?
Make the best decision for your child. It’s not just about the fun stuff.
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That’s a tough decision. But maybe you can have her one week and next week with Dad. And he can take her on summer and holiday breaks from school.
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No, she’s five and five year old don’t get to choose for themselves on matters this big.
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Try a 50/50 so she has more time there seems like he is a fit partner n unfortunately what gives ya the right to keep her more then him so I’d split it equal that’s my opinion
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She wants to go there only because she’s spoiled.
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If he is good to her and provides well and would say yes, she can always return to you but you do not want her hating you as that could make it hard on both of you if she is to stay. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you she just see she wants to be there right now. You are not giving her up you are just changing her living arrangements
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Why can’t she live with each parent
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l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $17853 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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No. She’s 5. Of course those things are cool to her. If you are struggling financially then get child support. Don’t send her just because she’s spoiled over there.
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No dont let another woman raise your child and have you completely forgotten about. Split the time only if you feel you need to. Also since when does a 5 year old dictate to the parent what they want to do.
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It’s not all about materialist things
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ID say share custody
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UNTIL You get better on your feet, stay strong mama
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I was in the same boat. When my daughter was 6 we had the same situation. Only her dad took me to court and got custody because (i got screwed by the judge and his lawyer) and shes now an adult and has always resented her dad. If you do make sure you stay in her life because after her dad got custody he did everything to keep her from me.
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I’d try to do more of a 50/50 split as long as the parenting support in both place is what she deserves. The physical things are good but not all that’s needed for a healthy childhood.
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You will never get her back , why can’t you do fun things with her that aren’t expensive my daughter is almost 5 and she’s on top of the world doing crafts going to the park painting nails
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Split the week.
I have my daughter 4 days her dad has her 3 it’s the best thing we ever did. I struggled ALOT after we split but I promise you will get where you need to be. I’m now married and have a great family he is married as well with a new baby we have an amazing co parenting relationship.
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You will rebound and it will be difficult to adjust custody then
Most parents struggle no matter how hard they work , or what they do . It happens , but if bills are paid , foods in their stomachs , roof over their head , and they have some of the things they want , seems to me that’s a good parent …… as well as one that can give them anything … I think three is a little too young to make that decision , but I also think you could go back to court and arrange a week on week off type of situation , if he lives close enough to do so . You don’t know if she’s being bribed or told to say that , and you dont know if things will change once she’s in his custody completely …… I’d honestly just get the custody situation changed , and try that first before you decide to let him have the primary custody . People talk a good game in the beginning , but can change so fast … I hope you get out of these struggles
Tell her daddy’s don’t know how to be mommies. Tell her she needs you both and she can go visit. Sounds like you guys live too far away to coparent. Maybe she goes until school starts?
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Momma she’s 5… right now in her eyes she sees the sparkly pool , and going out shopping etc … she’s a child (not saying her opinion doesn’t matter ) but think back to when you were 5 in their eyes it’s all about those things … once those things aren’t “fun” anymore because she gets them all the time you may be back in the same situation . I myself would not let her go… she may resent you for a while but one day she will realize that life isn’t about the material things
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Honestly if you send her, you’ll most likely never get custody back
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All I’m gunna say. Is why keep a child if… you are struggling and the other parent is not. Your child has to see are ur stresses. Why not let the parent who has none take over then when you get ur shit together go back to court. And before u say something stupid. I’ve literally done it. It kills me everyday but I atleast know my kids are being taken care of by there mother who has the room and stuff. Once I get my own place I’m going to go back to court and try 50.50. If they wont allow that week to week summer and 2 weekends a month is what’s in my cards… unless my children chose other wise.
Ask for child support. Have a shared custody agreement. Stay strong momma and raise your daughter
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She is looking at the materialistic things even at the age of 5. That doesn’t always equal love. I would go with shared custody, so that you are able to see her and be around her. Do things with her like go to the park, etc. if you are struggling seek counseling as well. Praying for you!
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Ask yourself where would she be best taken care of and happiest… that is called doing what’s in the best interest of your child.
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She only wants to go because she gets all the new things…
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If its best for her then yes let her go live with her dad. There is nothing wrong with her going to live with him
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Wow!..5 years old and that materialistic? 
I wonder who taught her that!
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She’s 5…she don’t know what she wants. He is spoiling her with material things. She will grow to understand. I’ve been where you are trust me. My 14 yr old would say the same thing at 5… don’t give up mama you got this.
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No. No. No. No. You will regret it. Just show her consistent love and emotional stability… thats the most important thing… she will have abandonment issues if you do that… she is not going to remember asking to go live with him… she is not old enough to make that decision and she doesn’t know what she is truly saying… keep your baby and keep doing your best.
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No, not unless you can’t provide a clean safe home, clean clothes and food and love. I don’t see why you would.
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No don’t let her go Explain to her that she can go with him for a period of time and she is with you for some time. She will understand that she still can spend time with both of you and that you both love her the same amount. Love is the main thing here. He should explain to her the exact same thing.
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I feel strongly like a shared arrangement should always be preferable for the benefit of the child. My ex and I were able to do this, no custody or support agreements needed (through the courts, we had a private primary caregiver agreement on paper) we simply shared our homes, our time and expenses. Our son sometimes lived with him, sometimes with me. He had a space in both homes, he was welcome equally in both. It took us being ADULTS to raise him. We were doing 100% what was best for him. We worked and made our own money, we carried on with our lives. Our son is 25 now, and we are very proud of how that all worked out. Unless there is an actual reason, people can put personal feelings aside for the benefit of the child. There shouldn’t even be a need for a choice.
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share 50 50 then she gets both worlds
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You don’t give up on a child simply because the other parent has more stuff…
a child doesn’t need stuff, a child needs love.
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If you are struggling to provide and honestly believe she will be better taken care of and happier with her dad then let her go. But make sure you get a custody agreement that allows you to have her still also on weekends and stuff like that… there’s nothing wrong with admitting your child would be better off with her father…
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If you do you’ll regret it🤷♀️ every 5 year old wants to be where fun exciting things are. My 5 year old at the time wanted to live with his aunt because they had more things and financially were able to do more.
As long as I could feed my Children, clothe Them, provide decent Shelter, and All My love and attention, I would never give up My Children period!!! I mean if you have to share custody and He’s a good Father then so be it, But a Child needs a strong confident secure Mom with lots of love to give, not necessarily a pool, and a full-time step mom to take Her shopping
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That baby girl will always… always need HER mom… no… keep her under your care… she can go to dad’s for EXTRA special play dates if you agree… but keep her living with you!
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At 12 mine had a choice but no chance at 5
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I wouldn’t. Absolutely not. She’s 5.
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She’s five and there is more to life than swimming pools and shopping. Those are too big of decisions for a 5 year old
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She is 5!!! Please don’t let her go she’s too young . Ur her mother. U will regret this decision trust me. She can have visits or overnights with her dad
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It really boils down to what the best situation for her is. By that I mean, who has a schedule more conducive to hers? I’m sure she has school, activities, play dates and such. Which one of you is more capable of accommodating that? Which parent is more patient and understanding? Where will she feel more stable and secure? Money can provide many wants, but can it provide all of the needs? There are some things money can’t buy. He may be able to spoil her while she visits, but how will it be once she’s there full time?
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No its 50 / 50 who cares What dad has love counts nothing else
Why are yall so against a dad raising his daughter or child in general?
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I couldn’t imagine letting my 5 year old decide where she lives. Shes 5. She would eat candy for breakfast if you let her.
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Nope. If you let her go voluntarily, you’ll never get her back. Better times will come, be positive!
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You would need to pay him child support. If you are struggling, you may not be able to. Do you have a relative you could live with for a while? Once you give her up, you may not get primary custody again bc the courts don’t like to change custody back and forth, even though you have a good reason for it. And he may never want to give her back bc then he won’t have to pay child support to you. Try to keep her with you unless you just can’t.
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No she must learn u ger mother and u providing the best u can
You can take her out and have fun with her still.
She’s 5, no. You’re her mother, raise her. She doesn’t need weekly shopping trips and a pool to be happy.
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Money is not everything and it’s time your daughter understands this. “You don’t need to keep up with the Jonses” spend quality time with your daughter and do things that money can’t buy, make memories. Pack a picnic lunch and go to the park or river, go on a walk and find rocks to paint, pick flowers and weave them together to make flower crowns, build a blanket fort in the middle of the living room and watch a movie, stay up late one night and look at the stars and make up funny names for them, paint each others nails, go on a scavenger hunt through your neighborhood. There are so many things that you can do with, just don’t give up. Things will get better. Besides if your daughter go to the dad’s house on a regular basis that doesn’t mean she will get to do all those fun things all the time.
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Not in a million years… She’s far too young
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I believe one week on - one week off is best for every child and for parents to stop by if the child asking
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Children do not need all of that! They need love!
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