Should I let my boyfriend have his space?

You cant force someone to get help. Either they want it or not.

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Space! He needs Space walk away

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Words like ‘let’ and ‘force’ are incomprehensible to me. Ultimately you won’t have a say. Navigate it so you’re ok, but controlling him isn’t viable.

You asked if you should let your boyfriend have his space, but I’m not sure that’s the right question to ask. If he’s already told you he wants space, why would you, or better yet - how could you force him to stay. That’s not your decision to make. It’s his, and he’s already made it.

If he feels like he needs space I say give it to him. He has supported you now it’s your turn to support him and hope that the space u give him brings you guys closer again

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Let him have some space… Unpopular…but men are not biologically geared to be caregivers… so that part is hard…but sounds like he feels he has lost his identity. You can’t drink from a dry well. Let his well refill.

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Give him the space. I care for my Bf of 15 years. Has MS I care for him daily. It can drain you. Maybe he needs too get away too get refreshed take a break from daily things he can not control. Illness takes a tow on everyone involved. Let him go. If he loves you he will be back. Just let him know you love and appreciate everything he has done for you.

It’s OK to grow apart. He needs space and may need some time. Taking care of someone like that for a long period of time it takes a toll. You will always love him and be grateful for him. Don’t hold any grudges. That way he can do what he needs to do to be happy. You didn’t mention where you are in your treatment. I’m hoping you’re doing better and that may be why now is the time he’s asking because he would have felt guilty if he left when you were really needing support. Now is the time to give him your support and understanding.

You can’t force anyone who doesn’t want to stay to stay nor can you make him get treatment. It’s his decisions and you have to respect his wants. Maybe y’all will get back together maybe not. Maybe he’s depressed and acting this way because he wants to be apart from you as hard as it might be to accept. Let him go and if he comes back then he will.

Let him have his space, never force someone to stay.

Yes let him have his space so he can process everything that’s happened, don’t give up though.

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Let him have some space, he is exhausted mentally. Suggest he starts by taking a vacation for a week or two. One thing most men need physical intimacy to feel loved and wanted, being so ill for so long and reduced intimacy hurts him in ways he probably does not know how to express. Give him the patience he has given you.

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I’m sorry all that is really sad and honestly sending strong vibes on all levels because it seems that is what is needed. Maybe just focus on you and allow him to do as he needs. That’s sounds easier written out than actually doing that lots of invested time.

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He’s contemplating on leaving.

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When we get sick and our partners become caregivers this often changes the dynamic of a relationship. We get so focused on our own stuff we forget our partners have their own experiences and feelings during this time! They suffer too! Depression, anxiety, fear, anger, grieving their old life, trying to find their own identity through all of it, resentment all come with their experience. All the same feelings we experience when we are sick. You can’t force him into getting help. Give him space. Hopefully he will re-engage if not wish him happiness and allow him that opportunity.

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You cannot force anyone to get help. You can suggest even ask them to get evaluated with their PCP. He’s got to a knowledge he’s having an issue and then agree to get help.

That’s so hard. Sorry you’re going through that. As someone who’s been a caregiver, it’s very difficult. A lot of resentment can build through no fault of your own. It’s draining physically and emotionally and you have to keep that in. (Like not get mad at the person.)
Let him have his space and encourage him to seek therapy. It will do both of you some good.

Don’t force him to do anything. It’s a lot for someone to handle. I would give him Space

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It’s so so so hard , to see someone you love suffering so bad . And when I say this I mean him watching you and it may be truly hurting him to where he needs time.

I am so sorry you’re going through this. :heart::heart:

Honestly I truly believe had my ex husband allowed us the space I begged for to work through our problems we would have been able to work our way back but he always refused so I ended up leaving him

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Separate for a while . Talk to him about how both of you are feeling

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Let him have a few days away to recharge and clear his head. I get you’ve been through hell, I really do, I’ve had cancer too and spent 9 hours on the operating table to get rid of it, but it’s been just as hell watching you, helpless and feeling out of control. He’s done all this because he loves you. The stress of how sick his lives one has been has clearly built up and he’s not accepted it or let go of it. He may need counselling to work through it? That shut in your body, that nearly took you from him scared the shit out of him. He needs to decompress that’s all. We as they patient are always checked on, are we ok? Are we depressed? Are we coping? But how often does the partner get asked, offers if help or to talk? Hugged and see how their coping? He hasn’t stopped loving you, he just needs a way to get rid of the hate and bitterness of what the cancer put you through. Put you both through xx

Carers burn out. You’re his patient not his partner now :frowning: (sorry​:heart::heart::heart::heart:) give each other space and let the dust settle. You both obviously care about each other. A little bit of time may help. Good luck on your healing journey​:heart::sunflower::heart::sunflower::sunflower::heart::sunflower::heart::sunflower::heart::sunflower::heart:

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It’s sad but let him have some space. He’s gone through all of it with and he’s probably overwhelmed. It probably caught up with him. But now he maybe thinking there’s nothing for him to do. You know kinda like he lost a long time job.

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Have you tried going to counseling, both together and separately. It sounds like he needs someone to talk to.

Let him have his space, he’s doing the right thing for himself… He’s obviously overwhelmed and not coping… Give him time to breath a little.

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Get rid of it. You don’t need that in your life. Great that he was great at one point… but nah that needs to go.

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After seeing your comment and who you are. I hope he leaves you because your an ungrateful b------ he has taken care of you and you wanna talk all this shit about him. Ptsd is real and it’s not just in women… if he needs a break give it and not talk all this shit about a person who has been there for you at your worse… He deseves better straight up. Shame on you

Let him go. If it’s meant to be he’ll be back when the time is right

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Same thing happen here but with my Hubby he left When I came Home from Hospital with A pick Line in my Arm At That time,Still Very Sick. So Just Stay Strong

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I’m sorry you’re going through this :pensive: Never give up hope but you don’t need to be taking emotional abuse. Stress is Not your body’s friend, so try and stay strong and do what’s best for You.:dove:

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I’m sorry I don’t know what the answer is. But I hope he gets help and you are ok

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Give him space. Make it known you’re here for him as he was for you. If he needs anything, etc.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.

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That’s a tough one. Going from boyfriend to care giver is mentally exhausting. I took care of my husband when he had cancer and he did pass on. I definitely have emotional scars but I know I did the best I could for him. Maybe he just needs to regroup, a vacation without talking about cancer.

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You can’t force someone to love you, or to stay with you if they want to go. More than likely, therapy would do him some good … I think you might be right about him having after effects of all the trauma you both have been through, but you can’t force him into therapy. Let him have his space to deal with whatever it is he’s going through. Let him know you will be there for him, just as he was there for you … if he wants you to be. Give him some time to get his head straight. Once he’s had some room to breathe, he might, or he might not, return to you. But would you really want him to stay if you knew he didn’t want to? That’s just a recipe for an unhappy future for both of you.

Sometimes, the best way to be supportive of someone is to step back, and let them take the lead. Let them know you’re there, if and when they’re ready to reach out. But you also need to let him know you won’t wait forever. You can’t sacrifice the rest of your life, waiting for him to decide if he wants to be a part of it. Good luck.

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He switched his role from partner to caregiver. I’m so sorry you’re going through that but if he isn’t willing to get help to see the problems through you can’t force him.

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If he’s not willing to get help for himself, let him go. Permanently.

Let him go.maybe he needs time away.

Should you let him? The dude has spoken loud and clear, never beg someone to stay, because they’d be staying for the wrong reasons. Let him go.

I’m sorry this is happening to you, that’s very sad.

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Give him his space. Somewhere along the way he has lost a part of himself. Let him go & do what he needs to do

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Counciling and get outside help for yourself. You cannot have your lover and also he is your caregiver. That really ruins. Relationship. Do you want him to be your partner or your caregiver ?

You cannot force someone to get help. He either wants to or not. I’d let him know how grateful you are, how much you love him, and let him go.

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sorry but you can not force anyone to get help, he will have to do that on his own and he will only do it when he feels like he needs to and no sooner, so you wait it out or you move on

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I have been the caregiver to my husband there was back surgery and open heart and six angioplasty. If you are truly soul mates you don’t need to take a time out. Show him the door and never look back. Jussayn .

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Give him the space he’s asking for. That’s only fair.

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I agree with the counseling. I also agree he needs a medical workup. Good luck

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Yes, let him go. He’s burned out… so tired. He needs to rest his soul. Tell him you love him for all he has done and wish him well. And find a good caretaker. He needs rest…
.prayers for yall…

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Give him a lil break. If meant to be he will come back. Never beg a man to stay.

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So even though he’s ignorant and angry all of the time it’s otherwise a great relationship? you’ll be okay. This too shall pass.

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Awe… Give him a chance and give him space. See what happens.

What’s the saying?
If you love something set it free…
If it comes back it’s yours…
If it doesn’t, it never was.
( or hunt it down and kill it). :metal::rofl:

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I’d give him the space. He doesn’t sound mentally well

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When you ask for space that’s a goodbye

If he’s asking for space and you don’t give it to him, he will turn very bitter and it will only push him away further. He’s obviously done his best but he is just not cut out for being a caretaker. I wish you the best and I’m sure it’s scary to you but obviously you’re a survivor and a strong person so you will be fine. This will only make you stronger in the end. I’m sorry this has happened to you and I honestly think it sounds shitty but I don’t know the whole story so I won’t say too much about him. I wish you the best of luck and healing :mending_heart:

He sounds like he’s burnt out. Give him some space x

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I’m sorry. Sounds like he has a little resentment maybe just emotionally drained rn. Let him have space and pray. He may seek help and start to find himself again, give him the chance to do so. I hope things work out for you

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Give him what he wants, but let him leave the house, you stay. Get so individual and couple counselling. Once he sorts his shit out let him back if you haven’t already moved on :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Give him some space x

My mother was both my fathers partner and caregiver thoughout my whole Fking life. He had kidney failure and died from it. NOT ONCE did my mum think of leaving or “needing space” she loved him unconditionally and said shed do it all over again just to have him back. So fucking leave that pos.

Let him go. It sounds like burnout. He’s tired. Probably depressed as well. If you two are meant to be together, he’ll come back. But if he’s had enough, it’s best to let him go with dignity and a big thank you for all he’s done. Make arrangements through your insurance company for a visiting nurse to check on you… or maybe a home health aid to help if you need it-one who helps with housework. You may need that. For love get a small dog. They do wonders for your morale. There’s nothing like their unconditional love. Get an older dog that is already housebroken and needs you. It doesn’t have to be a senior dog… just an adult. Your health aide can help you take your dog out. Or you can train it to use indoor potty pads. When the weather is bad in winter, I have my dog use human extra large incontinence bed pads. They work real well. Just roll them up, and tie them up in a plastic grocery bag. Ready to go in a trash bag for disposal. But try to be content and at peace with yourself.

It sounds like he might have turned to illegal medications to deal with stress .this happened to me and I never knew he was taking drugs.im not saying that your Man is doing this but it sounds identical.

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" If you love someone, set them free… if they come back they are yours…’

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His heart is broke, his spirit is broke

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This is normal for a loved one to go thru these stages while helping a loved one thru cancer.

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It’s hard when someone becomes your caretaker instead of your spouse. It was great that he stuck by but I think a therapist would help and trying to get back into a marriage relationship. Not sure if a nurse would work or hiring someone to help you but it might go a long way to help you both. Best of luck. Keep fighting!!! :heartpulse::muscle:t2:

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Best not to keep nor force someone who doesn’t want to be there. Who knows….he may sort it out and be back improved. But it does neither of you good in the current situation.

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Separate. I been through it, going through it again. Let him go to be something on his own. He deserves the opportunity to be something besides your care taker. I knew I was killing who he was. I left. I knew that I was dragging him down and I couldn’t see that look on his face knowing that I put it there for one more day. And let’s face, that trip from helping you go to the bathroom back to “hey sexy mama” is a big leap without a little time and space and coming back together. And we don’t feel pretty or sexy. Suck it up! Take an extra norco and take care of your man! He does things for you every day that he don’t feel like doing. And HEAR him when he tells you how he feels. There’s a chance space could turn into gone but that’s not your call. We lived apart for 9 years. He did amazing work and I supported him from afar. Now we are retired and he takes care of me again. But it’s different. Deeper, closer, almost, if that makes sense. There’s gonna be some separation in a lifetime together, don’t give up!!! And pray, pray, pray together!

Respect his request.

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He’s suffering from carers burnout!!! Give him the space, try treating him like your partner again not your career. if you need a nurse hire one, check what services your eligible for.

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It sounds like he’s dealing with caretaker burnout. It’s very real and affects people differently. I would give him space but also leave him notes or other thoughtful things to show him how much you appreciate him. Try not to take it too personally. :heartpulse:

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He sounds depressed.

AWWW he probably can’t take it
Maybe scared of the future
This a hard one… idk maybe surprise him with a vacation just him
Somewhere he would be pampered and relieved. You never know his hurt or pain he going thru loving you. Knowing you may lose someone can cause a lot of mixed emotions.
He probably scared

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I’m a cancer survivor. He’s run down. Let him have some space. Hopefully he stays in the end. But don’t hold it against him that he’s afraid to continue. He’s tired. Burnt out. Scared. And probably has nobody to vent to so it comes out periodically, unintentionally.

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He is obviously stressed out… give him some space. He was your lover then your carer, he is dealing with everything the only way he knows how. Sometimes when stressed people seem to be mean with their response to things and snappy at people…He is entitled to some space and consideration.

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Never give a man the opportunity to reject you twice. He’s told you want he wants. Find space you can heal in and move on with your life.

Can’t force someone to stay or get help, things will just get worse if you try.

He is at his breaking point

Give him his space believe me you get burned out caring for your loved ones and you also go through a grieving process while they are so sick let him find his way back when he’s ready if your willing to wait praying for you two tonight