Should I let my childs dads sister in her life?

My child is five years. Her “dad” is no good, has never tried to be in her life and has no rights to her. So-called dad’s sister has reached out several times wanting to see my daughter. She is very sweet, and nothing like her brother, I let her be around her before when she was about 2. She is wanting to be in my daughter’s life now and has been wanting to for a while, but I always shut her out. I feel bad in a way because she did nothing wrong, but I also don’t want to confuse my daughter or have people in and Out her life. Would you let the sister (aunt) see your daughter? She has agreed to not bring her brother or any other family of his/her around. I feel like it would be nice to have at least one person from her dad’s side in her life since she doesn’t know him, but I’m just confused about what to do. She also doesn’t know who her dad is or anything. So I’m not even sure we would give the sister a name as an aunt. What’s your opinion?


Coming from an aunt… let that baby see her aunt… nothing like an aunts love my nieces and nephews mean the absolute world to me and I’ve been in their lives since they were all born


Defiantly she’s family :slightly_smiling_face: my nephew sees us but not his dad (my brother) it doesn’t confuse him it shows we love him and care x


Let her visit. I would not let her take her anywhere or take pictures.


The more people that love your child the better, especially family. My daughter is now a teenager and has a decent relationship with her aunt on her dads side. It’s much better than the one she has with him.


i agree with dawn let her come to your house and visit do not let her take her

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It takes a village, mama. We all need all the love we can get, especially the kiddos. Don’t inadvertently punish her for the “sins” of her brother. :purple_heart:


Keeping them away will
Only cause resentment later. If nothing else let her see your daughter while your there set so guidelines about who she is and what family info will Be shared. I would not let her take her anywhere especially until you know if you can trust her

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I would give her a chance. My brother is a worthless POS. I am best friends with his kids mother. I love them and have helped them through out their lives because he never did.

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Yes!!! Why cut your daughter off from family. Kids need all kinds of support and aunties should have a chance. It takes a village.


Your child is only going to hold it against YOU when she finds out she had family wanting to see her and you were the cause of it not happening!! Let your child have her family!


Express your concern and see what she has to say. Go from there.

I took guardianship of my niece her dad my brother is(the youngest of my siblings)and abusive to alot of ppl parents included and if I hadn’t stepped in she would be in the same situation or in foster care I am an aunt I treat her like my own till treatment for both parents I go by court orders but she is safe and doing good all kids need family be it urs or his.but if u have rules make sure the(adults understand and supervise them until ur comfortable with it aunts grandmas cousins are an important part of their lives


I let her and I would let her call her aunt because that’s what she is. No reason to deprive the child or aunt of having a relationship.

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Coming from a Aunt and Mom who has had some ghetto family. I would let her, she is fine with keeping her brother away. The more positive people a kid has in their life the better.

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The more family in your daughter’s life the better.

Give her a chance…set boundaries but remember…your child will grow up one day! If you want a relationship you need to start finding a way to tell her the truth. Teenagers ask questions and judge us accordingly.

I went through something like this… we decided to let her see them… and we introduced her as a friend then as the kids got older they started calling her aunt like they do the rest of the people who are close to them…

I get where alot of people on this post are coming from but I seen one comment that kinda got to me I was never mad or upset or held it against my parents for keeping me from certain family members. I was kept away as a kid and I’m not mad or upset I never was because I always knew my parents did the best for me and for some reason keeping me away from these people was what was best, so I understood because they taught me to be understanding. I did get a taste of their reasoning though, when I turned 21 I decided to go see these family members (no one tried to stop me) for myself and it turned out that everyone was right being kept from them was the best thing for me because they were scum and screwed me over big time. They didn’t seem like it at first but after a few months and alot of bull I realized that I owed my parents so much for not letting these people into my life. In the end it’s your decision what you wanna do but I say take it slow and be very cautious.

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Ask no photos be taken or put on her social media.
That way dad can’t see updates ect an decide he wants to see the daughter after all

Of course! That’s her family. It’s not the child’s fault. Geez


You said, she has done nothing wrong. Let her family love her. Why would you withhold additional love? My daughter’s dad has never been a part of their life. But his family has.


She will just be an aunty to your daughter. Not her dads sister. If they can be friends let them.

I’m in a similar situation girl. Single mama since 2016 and her dad has never been around.
I would just reach to her and communicate with her that you’re absolutely okay with her being in your daughters life because more family is ALWAYS better, especially because little ones will remember who was there and who wasn’t. But just let her be aware that kids tend to get confused when people just come and go out of their life, and tell her that if she is really truly wanting to be in your daughters life, then it should stay that way permanently so it doesnt confuse your daughter.
You also said so yourself that she hasn’t even done anything wrong, and she promised to keep her “sperm donor” out of the circle. As long as she respects that, I would definitely let her be around.

Yes I am the good aunt and my brother is no good! I would so everything in my power to keep my niece away from him

Only let her come to your house while you are there. Make sure there isn’t going to be hassle from him or other family members when they find out.

She IS the aunt though. You have nothing to lose so yes let her see her niece!

if your daughter’s aunt is putting forth the effort I would let your daughter have a relationship with her

This is what happened to me. Smh I love my niece n nephew.yet I can’t have a part of their life bc the mom says so. One minute the kids stay the night the next her family says keep them away. But y’all want me to buy them Xmas presents n bday gifts. Then say I’m a bad aunt smh disgusting. I allow my kids family in their life.


At least she wants to be an aunt and part of your daughters life which seems very caring of her. Why withhold that? I know many aunts who don’t care about their nieces and nephews.

My SIL (my husbands sister) does not have custody of her two children. They are both with their bio fathers. Separated. We are not on good terms with her at all. If it weren’t for those dads allowing us in those kids lives, we wouldn’t see them. We can call and ask for the kids anytime we want and they work really well with us and we get along great with them. Family isn’t all bad. It sounds like she just wants to love that child. And honestly, take her up on it and get a break. Single mothering is HARD :woman_shrugging:t4:


I’m gonna go with a yes but I would meet with her first and lay down the law so to speak. It could be confusing for your child if the aunt steps in and starts telling stories about said “dad”.

Yes. Give her a chance to be there for her niece. You can only see her tru intentions by allowing her to be in your daughters life.

Yes the aunt didn’t do wrong you should want your child to have as many ppl in their life loving them and supporting them as possible


My dad was not the greatest guy and he died and we didn’t know for months. That’s how he wanted it. I still have a good relationship with his sister and she is in all of our lives. She didn’t do anything wrong.

Yes. It’s your child’s family. As long as she respects your rules.

It’s her Aunt, you have stated she’s done nothing and tries…stop punishing your child!


So I hate to put it this way but that is her family you may not like it because of your ex who you chose to have a kid with, his sister is not him. Imagine if your brother had a kid and the girl wouldn’t let you see your niece because of your brother I dont think you would feel the same way. Also she is trying and according to you multiple times so why not give her a chance to part of your daughters life, rather than withholding memories your daughter could have with an aunt. Side not my sons father pos, his sister has been one of my biggest advocates for getting sole custody of my son.

I have been in the same situation with my oldest, mom is a class act, but her sisters wanted to see my kid. At first, i let the grandma till she got pulled over dui with my kid. Finaly had a heart 2 heart with the sister, decided a child cant have too many people who love them, i also gave her a set time to decide rather she wanted to be in her life always or never, and she decided always was a big commitment. Follow your heart, let her know whats expected, then let her be active in the decision…

The child will grow up and will figure it all out and will think that u kept them from thus whole family they could have had. It won’t be about the dad being a f-up anymore it will all be about u keeping the whole family from them. If u don’t think she will harm your child u should let her she is your child’s family too… Like it or not

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Give her a chance but, meet with her first to tell her the boundaries/rules. Then let her decide that if she can stick to your rules then she can have a relationship with her niece. If your daughter ask why she is an Aunty you can choose to say: that’s your dads sister or she’s mummy’s close friend and you know her as Aunty when you were little.

The more family the better especially if they’re willing to help and be loving and maybe even be a Christmas gift one day.
A child shouldn’t miss out on that

I never had aunties in my life though i had aunties they never made any effort to know me and its not nice at all
so go on if she has done nothing wrong to either of you
Kept outta ya business
And is generally a nice person
Than your daughter is missing out on a aunty
Don’t take that away from her

My dad has never been in the picture.
My aunts and uncle from his side are all fantastic and have nothing to do with him either.
I wish I had that part of my family in my life when I was younger as I only got in contact with them when I was 14.
Many years down the line and its worked out fine.

I rekon let her in family is an important part of growing up and if she is nothing like her brother it sounds like it would be positive to have her in both your lives just do it on your terms and what you feel comfy with she might suprise you

I am in the same situation…only i am the aunt…i have a nephew who is 10 i have never met and the mom feels the same as you and i of course will obey mom’s wishes because i do really want to be a part of his life…let your daughter meet her it might be a blessing in disguise and they will both thank you and appreciate you more for it


The sad thing is these children suffer from us punishing the other parent. My children still see aunty, grandma and grandpa even though the father never sees them. I couldnt imagine them not being allowed to see their family just because me and dad couldnt figure things out. Yes we are mom but sometimes our judgement does these children no justice.


If you really don’t know anything about her or haven’t hung out with her that much, meet up with her a couple of times before you let her see your daughter and talk to her. Maybe she really does have good intentions. You will know.

Meet at the park slowly introduce her to her aunt and go from there and if there is no consistency on the Aunts side then at least it was a mutual area

That’s her family…how can you keep her from her family? It’s wrong and unfair.

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Let her see her neice,just because her father not in her life,why stop her aunt and why didn’t you let her auntie in from the start!! don’t you understand what it must feel like for the auntie missing out on the years she hasn’t been allowed to see her neice,My neice’s and nephews are my world,so please do right thing and let the auntie in,as they say never use the child as a weapon no matter want circumstances was with you and her father,
Your daughter will thank you when she is older… Keeping your daughter from her father’s side will only have impact later on in life,cause she gona relise she has all this family and she gona come and start asking questions&she may start to rebel against you!! Family is important no matter what, memories need to be made and treasured…So wake up women stop punishing your daughter and your daughter’s aunt and let them start making memories,life is to short remember that!! Not sure what went on with you and your daughter’s father but even that should be sorted too…
I always say,you all have one mum and one dad so treasure them whilst there still here!!
so do right thing and let your daughter see her family no matter how hard it is for yourself,let them in…

I have the same situation with my daughter but the only persons I allow in her life is her grandfather because he doesn’t make excuses for his son snd her great grandmother who is her grandfather’s mother. Nobody else reaches out to us and I’m okay with that I didn’t want anyone else around because they did make excuses for sperm donor and he was never and still isn’t an active father to the other 2. I allow her grandfather in because he was always good to me and so was his mom and their great ppl… so… if you feel like she would be okay in your child’s life and wouldn’t be a doorway for the father to get in go a head and let her… when your little one is old enough to understand then you can explain why you chose not to allow certain ppl in and that it was to protect her from someone who maynot ever had gave a damn in the first place because if he wasnt there then he certainly doesn’t have a place now.

Your child should know both sides of her family. Let her make her own mind up about her dad. If he is really terrible she will soon find out for herself. Have first hand experience of this and you are not doing her any favours. Her aunt and dad will soon cock it up and your daughter will soon see x

I’m an aunt and a mother and I would still want to see my niece and nephews. I love my two nephews and niece like they are my own and I would want to be with them any way I could

Why wouldn’t let your child’s family be in her life because her father is a POS? Why punish your child for the actions of her father?
Your child will hold it against you when she finds out she has a great family that YOU wouldn’t let in her life for petty reasons.

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Absolutely. What if you don’t and she finds out later that she could have had a relationship with her aunt and you didn’t let he . We all take risks in like

Yes. Her aunt is not her father. And if the aunt is wants a relationship, give her a chance


I would be devastated and very hurt that I would not be a part of my nieces and nephews lives just because Momma doesn’t like or get on with Dad. Sorry Dad is not in kiddos life for whatever reasons but Aunt wants to be there. You are robbing your child of more love and family for what you have posted no reason on the Aunts part at all.


How would you feel if your parents did that to you? At least the aunt is trying , and the dad still has rights by the way . You are just trying to be controlling and your daughter is going to be upset with you and someday when she turns the age 15 she can choose to go live with her other side of family. So , talk to her let her know and explain, …

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Shes her aunt. So, let her in.

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Yes you need to let her see her

Why not she did nothing wrong

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Of course if she is trying to reach out and she’s not a toxic person I don’t see why not. She is her aunt so you should call her an aunt. Maybe introduce her as her name until she is comfortable.

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Coming from being an auntie that has had this happen to her I say it’s wrong of you to keep your child away from the family member that wants to know her. Also coming from a mums point of view I can understand in some sense as to not wanting in and out of her life but don’t you think your child has the right to know her auntie? Your child is the one you need to think about here not what you want!

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Why are you punishing her for what your baby dad has done? You shouldn’t punish anyone else… don’t be greedy and let her see your daughter

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Depends on their relationship and how well you really know her. My ex’s sister is sweet but would also do anything for her brother including wrong things because of feeling obligated cause that’s her only family. His entire family are liars and can not be trusted. So I get what you feel. and I do not let anyone see my daughter and wont as long as I have my protective order in place. She has a happy healthy home with loving family surrounding her. I will not subject her to the insanity and unhealthy life they all lead on his end.

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My mom is going through the exact same thing! My brother 7 does not know his real dad because he is in and out of jail. My mom has let my little brother hangout with his fathers sister and her daughter.

I would let her. Unless she is a bad influence.

I think it’s sad you have to even ask this… Clearly she has tried to be apart of her nieces life for a long time and you choose to shut her out because of her brother… Which is really messed up on your part… How dare you not give her the opportunity to know her family who clearly wants to be a part of her life… The sister is the aunt and should be addressed as such… You can explain everything else when the child gets older… but you shouldn’t shun family who clearly cares… What is that teaching your daughter?


Could always just let her visit in a public place, like go to lunch and say she is just mommy’s friend, Ms.(name) and then if she stays consistent with visits switch name to Aunt(name). My son has an Aunt Brandi who started out as Ms Brandi but she isn’t actually his aunt though. After she was around for awhile he just started calling her aunt.

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This is one of the worst posts yet. His sister hasn’t done anything wrong. The only reason she’d be ‘in-and-out’ of your daughters life is because of you!

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If shes nothing like her dad, then why not?? People r out their complaining and sad that their child’s father family wants nothing to do with them, or doesn’t aknowledge the child and here she is… wanting to be apart.

I think this is a touchy situation just because your daughter doesn’t know who her dad is. It can be very confusing. You would end up having to have a conversation eventually about who her dad is. She’ll start to understand more eventually. It’s easy for others to act like you’re just selfish but there’s a lot more to it. Just be ready for that tough convo down the road.

Let her see her but make sure you tell her if you catch the dad around she will never see her again. If someone wants to be in a childs (relative) life (not dead beat dad’s or any other corrupted things) let them. It doesn’t matter if they don’t spend money on them just as long as they spend time with them the child will know they are loved

Try it. Just introduce as ur friend and later on, explain it to her…

Yes have the aunt in her life… she didn’t do anything wrong and wants to be involved let her … what ever issues you had is with the dad not the aunt … don’t make the child suffer cause he isn’t around… the aunt clearly wants to be in your child’s life and that’s a plus …

Aunties can be such a plus, try it one day at a time.

Allowing the sister can introduces the dad into the mix. If she has contact with the dad itd be natural for it to come up her seeing the kid for the aunt to mention a story of her and the dad which will have the kid questioning more why the dads not around and the aunt is and its mot realistic to ask her not to speak of him or the child to the dad. And if you think that allowing her will allow any of the issues with the dad back into the mix you dont have to allow it. You can just speak with her on your own. Maybe pics or letters if that’s what you think is best for your kid and you. You dont owe the sister anything. Yes itd be nice to have someone there from his family but at what cost? Excluding that shes the aunt could help because then of she did speak of the dad it wouldn’t seem connected for the kid. Itll just be tricky but may be worth it in the long run when she has questions when shes older

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Lay down ground rules! I’m 23 I have no contact w my dad grandma and one aunt and her kids… I’ve made it known to the aunt and uncle lefvon my fb that they don’t need to inform the family about anything or they’re out of my life as well amd so far it’s worked. I don’t see nothing wrong w an aunt wanting to be in the child’s life. Obviously don’t just let her take her off the bat. Let he come over and let your child feel her out if she’s someone she doesn’t like then that’s that.

Auntie are special people they need to be in your daughter’s life, let her love your child

Try it out. Introduce the aunt as ms. Whatever her name is. See If it works out, if it doesn’t then don’t allow it anymore.

The more people to care about your kid the better. She didn’t have to ask, I can’t see it hurting your kid. Give it a shot in my opinion