My daughters friend is having a birthday party at a waterpark…they are 13 years old and it will be an overnight stay…i want her to go have a good time but I dont like my kids not being at my house…my house is the land of all the teenagers and i dont mind it because i know my kids are safe…should I send her? UGH i dont want her to miss out on this but i have such anxiety
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I let my daughter go to her friends party? - Mamas Uncut
Yes, let her go. You don’t want her growing up in a bubble.
You got this!
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Yes. She deserves the experience. I understand the anxiety though. I’m the same way, but please don’t make your child miss out on an exciting event because of your anxiety. That isn’t fair to her.
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I would definitely let her go 
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Send her does she have a phone keep in contact the whole time or get the mother number and keep in contact
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I loved going to sleepovers as a kid. Some of my funnest memories
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Does she have a phone? Let her go. Don’t hold her back because of your anxiety. She deserves to experience these normal things.
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If you trust her then yes let her go and have fun
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Maybe ask if the parent wants some help/company…? 
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Assuming there will be appropriate parental Supervision and you have no reason not to trust your daughter or the family, let her go. Your anxiety (while difficult) is your issue to manage. Don’t hold your children back because you have anxiety about them doing age appropriate things.
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Yes let her go. Give her some say to contact you. Your anxieties should not dictate her life. That’s not fair to her.
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Yes you should let her go and have fun if you’re having too much anxiety about it get her a cell phone you can track and have her call for checking and you can call her too
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Introduce yourself to her parents exchange numbers . 
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Let her go. If you trust the parents let her enjoy this time. This is where trust starts and your parenting will keep her good
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You have to cut the strings give her wings have a good talk with her
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Let her go, but get parents phone numbers and address…
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Let her go. I was an only child, my mom and i were extremely close but i was basically adopted by my best friends family.
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Honestly, you may think youre not being overbearing but the more you hide your child from outer experiences the more they’ll do it behind your back. It’s better to let her have reasonable freedom and know as opposed to being naive and unaware. Let her go have fun with friends and experience things outside of the house.
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If you don’t let her go she is going to grow up to resent you and rebell keeping her in a bubble and not letting her experience life is not a way to grow up
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As long as you trust your daughter, open communication and met the parents I don’t see why not.
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Let her go but agree to check in a few times.
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Yes you have to let her go someday she needs to be able to be a normal teen and have a little innocent fun
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She is gonna rebel like hell when she gets older. Very over protective
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Let her go an just let her know she can reach you at ANYTIME 
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Yes as hard as the separation is she needs to know she can be a carefree teenager and not sheltered even though it’s out of love 
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Don’t let your fears and anxiety hinder your child’s ability to be a child.
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You will drive away if you don’t loosen up. She will become a rebel. I promise. Better listen
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My mom was like this… I resented her and acted out in my teenage years because of it. If you don’t loosen the reins, you’ll end up regretting it as she gets older.
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Yes, you should let her go and be a kid, if you raised her right you have nothing to worry about, but if it makes you feel better, talk to the parents throwing the part and if they will have enough parents attending for the kids to have adult supervision
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have you met the Mother who’s house she’s going to be staying at? you have her telephone #?. how many other girls are sleeping over? Base your answer on those answers and more questions if you need to ask them. go with your gut.
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Let her go
If u don’t she is going to rebell against u
Can’t keep her in a bubble forever
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I would let her go but swap numbers with the parents first. Incase of a emergency.
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Let that baby go! Just have a way to check in. Let her know if she needs you no matter what time to call and you will be there.
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Unless you have some reason to distrust the family, I would let her go and give her some safety reminders. Let her know she can call you if she wants to go home early and that you can be her excuse if she needs you to be. That way if she’s uncomfortable for any reason or just homesick, she knows it’s ok to call.
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Can you send a phone with her? Does she have her own? Just to help so you can check on her and ease ur mind. Also talk to the parents if you haven’t met them yet. Ask then for there number too. Definitely remember going to sleepover growing up and I feel it’s so normal to be scared but she needs this!
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Is it parent chaperoned? If so yes is not no
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Lighten up and let her go
If you truly trust the mother hosting this sleep over and know she’s gonna be safe then It should be okay ! I would just call & check up
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Oh boy. Your child will go rumspringa eventually if you don’t land the helicopter.
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Uuuugh you probably should but I personally dont trust anyone especially men around my daughter. Such a scary decisión to have to make. If you decide to make sure you meet the parents first and go check out their house. If they have a shed or basement I say hell no
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Let her go! If you don’t she will rebel against you and start hating being around you I promise.
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yes let her go but let her know if she wants to come home at any point you will go and pick her up even if it’s 3/4 am . Mabay make up a safe word so she just need to go to the bathroom and phone and say that word and you will know she wants home. Xx
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Staying overnight with friends is such an important experience.
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Im Not a fan of overnight staying, but as everyone has said your anxiety should not dictate her life . You can meet the birthday girl parents , get their numbers to text , you can give her a phone so you can track and talk to her.
Im the worst case , you can just drop her early in the morning to the girls house so she can go to the water park
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Is this even a valid question?! Stop with the helicopter parent foolishness. Stop stifling the child’s opportunity to sicialize.
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Make sure you have all info and let her go.
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What about it makes you anxious? I was molested by my sperm donor when I was little…my kids only stay with my dad (technically stepdad) and my granny. I’m not against them staying with a friend when they’re older, they’re 12 and 10. Just not right now. I get anxious just thinking about it. At the end of the day you have to trust your instincts, whatever they may be, for whatever reason they may be. Is it far away from where you live? Do y’all have a code work that only y’all know if she feels uncomfortable or anything and wants to come home? Sending you a big hug mama!
Let her go to the water park,but not spend the night if your not comfortable with that. Lots of people aren’t comfortable with their kids spending the night at someone else’s house.
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if there going to grown ups whatsing them and you can trust that grown ups if not she stay at home let her cry now over party than you crying over open crave of hosp or you dont know where she is one day she thanks you when she have kids off her own if your heart say no stick to no dont say yes to pls a child If the word mabie its in you sentense maybie i must let her go then its no I Belive God wont lead a mom eith maybie He will just say yes i go in my life with that if the word maybie come in any thing dont do it God showd me many times im was write not to do it but your choise life is not same any more full off ugly niss
You have to make this decision yourself. I’d probably go along. I’d have her skip the over night part.
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Let her go to the sleep over if you don’t allow her to you’ll never hear the end of it.
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If you raised her right, let her go… ask her to keep her phone charged and that you’re going to need a little of her patience while you learn to give her responsibility.
Start out with, ‘Yes, but can you help me out by keeping in touch with me while you’re not
Puts ownership on your child and shields you, when you text her 10 times lol
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Can you answer yes to these?Do you trust your child?Do you trust the family?Can you send a phone with her?I would let her go.I understand how you feel but,she’s growing up mom.
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Let her go. The other kids moms let them go to your house, trust them to keep an eye on them all as well as you do.
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She’s 13 not 5, let her go stop wrapping her up in cotton wool before she resents you
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If you feel that the parents, chaperones, will do a good job watching out for the girls; then yes, let her go! This sounds like a really fun time and she would be upset with you if you said no! Pick your battles wisely when it comes to teens!
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As long as an adult is going too, let her go. You’re going to have to turn her loose eventually.
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I always feel the same way but our worries hold them back…we want to keep them safe always , I get it! But we gotta let go and trust.
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Let her go. She deserves to show you that she can be responsible and have the chance to have fun.
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Staying over at friend’s is part of growing up!!! Good God! How do you expect her to grow if you’re being a helicopter mom?? You need to trust HER to make good decisions! She will call you if she feels uncomfortable and wants to come home
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Does she have a cell phone to call you incase? At 13 it’s much easier on my mind than 6 or so.
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Let her stay, trust in yourself that you have done an amazing job at raising her and she will have an amazing time and trust that she will contact you if she has doubts or any concerns throughout the night…
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Gotta let her have some freedom
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This comes down to parenting. Do you trust her? Can she call you in case of an emergency? This is hard… Do you know the parents at all?
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Let her go! 13 is the perfect age to start letting her venture out and make choices.
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Send her. Don’t make her miss out on childhood memories because you’re afraid. She needs to spread her wings.
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Send her… it can’t always be at your house…
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All I can say is I wasn’t allowed to stay at peoples houses. My house was the one full of teenagers and kids. I loved it. As I have grown up and heard women I’ve met along the way and heard the nightmare things that happened to them when they were kids at slumber parties and such I was super grateful my parents drew a hard line on this issue. I will make sure my daughter is safe from these stories when she’s older too.
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please let her go, she needs a social life outside of her mom
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She needs to grow her own wings and you have to trust you’ve taught her well.
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Let her go. Trust her to make good decisions. Let her make fun memories!
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I’d say go to water park with them . Just to have an eye … and then let her stay but I never say let her just go to a park without u urself u can’t trust other parents at a time like that with how many other kids
Let her go but have a serious talk. If she feels any sort of harassment or threat, have her call you and reassure her you’ll be there immediately without repercussions. That’s the most you can do at that age that’ll put both of your minds at ease
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You are the only one that knows your child. Do you trust your child? Do you know that your child will tell of something isn’t right? If yes, then yes than let them go and enjoy the sleepover. If not, compromise on what you feel is right. Just at the end of the day make sure your child is being heard
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Yeah send her. Is there going to be adults there? You can’t keep helicoptering her she needs to grow her wings and learn to do things without you always there. I understand the anxiety thing I truly do cause I have severe anxiety but I won’t punish my kid by not letting them go to a birthday party at a water park and sleepover cause of my anxiety. If she has a phone you can ask her to send a text here and there to keep you updated. And if she feels like coming home she can call or text you and ask you to come get her.
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My kids don’t stay at anyone’s house 
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Secretly go n watch lol
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I’m like you…let her go…but the water would worry me…
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Don’t send her if you never met the parents. If you know the family then I say sure. If she has a cell phone she can communicate with you at any time to ease your anxiety.
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I would check in with the parents to make sure the party details are as they are.
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Too help ease your anxiety.
Give her a safe word.
If she’s feeling uncomfortable and wants to come home. She can call/text you the safe word and you can come get her.
But don’t let her miss out on fun because you’re scared.
The world sucks. People suck. But not everyone is bad. I’d meet the parents and any older siblings that live in the house.
Get phone numbers and find out where they are going to be. Pack her over night back and send her on.
My daughter just turned 13 recently and we allow sleepovers with conditions.
I must know the parents.
We have a secret word she can text or call and say and I know to pick up immediately.
We don’t allow sleepovers at houses that have teenage boys.
If the father ever tries to pull her or another girl away, she is to contact me immediately.
If anything happens she is uncomfortable with or doesn’t want to participate in, she knows she can text or call me and I will be there within mins.
Your daughter is more likely to be harmed by someone you know and trust (ie:friends and family) we constantly have conversations in my house and she is aware of the dangers involved with being at someone else’s house. If I don’t have a good feeling I talk to her and explain and we go do something else or she invites friends over.
She has never felt smothered, is always telling me how lucky she is to have parents who care so much. I trust her and she knows that. I’m not worried about her choices, I am worried about the evil outside of our home that prey on young girls. I would rather her know I care, then ever be faced with her being raped by a friends father or brother. Gonwith your gut, you are mom. No one else’s opinions matter.
Baby steps Momma. I remember feeling like you. My girls are now in their 40’s. I a parent will be there watching over all of them let her go. Or offer to go too.
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I always had to meet the parents and have a plan if she wanted to come home early.
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Only you know what’s best. I totally understand your concerns because most trauma happens at sleepovers with people they/you trust. I can tell you’re a great mother because of the fact that you aren’t just blindly saying yes. You can trust your daughter all you want but this isn’t a trust issue, it’s a protective issue. You’re doing great mom! Just have a talk with her about your concerns and come up with a good plan. Does she have a phone she can call you with?
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Nope. No sleepovers.
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If there will be parents with them, maybe you go with.
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Let her go to the water park. If you have reservations about the stay over pick her up and she can sleep in her own bed.
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She is only 13, volunteer to go assist at the party,or not stay all night.She will be upset but that’s life,you are a good Mom to be concerned
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Come up with a safe word like laundry so she can use it if things start to go south and put the blame on you for “having to leave early”. If she’s uncomfortable she can call you and say “I’m sorry I didn’t do my laundry” and then act like you’re making her come home because of it. I think that’d make you both feel better.
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She needs to know who she is and have fun . Trust is a special way of showing our kids we can trust them 
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Let her go to the water park and then pick her up.
We don’t do sleep overs either.
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So if I understand you, you want your kids to be safe as long as other mothers don’t care if their kids are safe. If you don’t let yours visit others then you are forcing others to come to your house. What if their parents had the same rule? Then none of the children would play with each other. I think you are very selfish. Why should other moms send their kids to your house but not visa versa? Plus how do your kids learn independence if you never let them do stuff on their own. Not good for them in the long run. Your job is to teach them to be functional independent adults. They can’t do that if they never leave your house.
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Let her go her friends parents will be there and I’m sure they will keep a eye on her.
This is exactly how I feel 
all the kids come to my house and I love it. My son is 10 but I’m working on letting him venture out more but it’s so hard
Send her. How is she going to learn to bring independent?
I say go with your mom gut! I don’t know that we’ll do sleepovers (other than close family) when my son is older, but even if we do I will always go with my gut.
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13 is still young and vulnerable. If you really know and trust the other parents…maybe. I didn’t let mine with a very few exceptions (close family relationships) and I don’t regret it. I was the “home base” for everyone too. I feel like you only get one chance with your kids, no do overs. Trust your gut. Participate in what you can and draw line where you need.
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Meet the parents. Instruct your child on rules and let her go. She’s 13. Only a few more years and she will be navigating the world on her own. This is a good practice step to her doing that with you on stand by as a safety net. She needs to learn to trust her own judgment. My children aways new if they felt unsafe to call me and use a signal and I’d come get them. That happened a couple times, one time in the middle of the night.
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