Hello, I have a question? So I was just informed that my daughter’s dad has a warrant for not going to court. My daughter sees him at his parent’s house every other weekend supervised from being on drugs in the past. Not supervised through court or not court-ordered anything. I will just be nice and let him see her. Should I still let her go and see him with a warrant? Child support also gets taken out of his checks.
Nope. If you know he has one you can be considered aiding
That’s a hard one cause if he gets arrested while shes there child services will be called and also since you know where hes at then you would be considered as aiding n abiding since you known he has a warrant n not calling cops. I wouldnt let her go especially since theres no court order.
Nope what if they find him at his parents while she ia there?
Yes, keep out of it. Not your place, and if he ends up getting lifted and going to jail your child lost a last opportunity for awhile.
Well all I can tell you is I made the mistake several years ago letting my daughter see her father while he had a warrant out (though I was unaware of the warrant) and he was arrested while having her. The cops did not make it a point to remove her from the room before taking him away. Nothing. Now, to this day, she is terrified of cops.
I think you should continue to let your child see him.
Definitely not, you wouldn’t want your child to witness her father being arrested or put in a harmful situation if he resists
His parenting has nothing to do with him having a warrant. If the cops come arrest him she has grandparents there so CPS wont get involved and they will be there to take her out of the room. And you aren’t going to get in trouble for aiding and abetting by allowing your child to see her father and grandparents. Dont take her father from her…especially over a failure to appear.
Also, cops aren’t gonna rip your child away and send her to foster care. This isn’t Hollywood. In real life, they’ll contact you to pick up your child. They aren’t out to traumatize children.
I wouldn’t plus u can get into trouble if u know where he is at plus ur daughter or any other kids u have living at home can be taken away plus what if grandparents tell the cops that u knew or even CPS then u will be in big trouble
If your on good terms w him or his parents tell him to get it taken care of or she won’t be visiting for her safety. It’s the best thing for him and your daughter.
If they find out you let him have her while actively having a warrant they can charge you with a felony yourself and remove your children from you. My sister had this happen to her. You just have to notify the court you aren’t letting him have visits bc he is wanted and you will be ok.
Yes you said there is supervision so if he gets picked up on that warrant there is other adults there to care for child.
His parents will be charged with a crime for having him in their home if the police come there while he is there as well. I wouldn’t chance it.
No tell him to turn himshelf in
Not unless you I want her to be with him when they pick him up. I think that’s pretty traumatizing
Yes let him see her cuz you never know when the next time they will see each other so much is happening in this world
Child support isn’t rent for visitation. It’s to support the child. I don’t even allow phone contact when my ex has warrants. It’s been 6 months. He shouldn’t have used against me when he was allowed around my kids, making bad decisions without warrants against me in court, or I wouldn’t be forced to be so protective. This was 100% his lawyers doing.
Let her see him and say what need to be said
I would still let her and tell his parents if the cops happen to show up to please remove her from seeing it happen.
Absolutely not tell him to get his shit together
I’d say yes as long as the grandparents are present, incase he gets arrested, wouldn’t want her to have to see that.
No parent should have to be without their children
Yes it could be a while before that catches up and they would allot time if it happen to fall on his time to call you and pick up
If I were you, I would contact your local FOC office where you had your child support established and ask them how that works. You can ask them anonymously. This is probably your best bet since you are getting so many mixed comments/opinions about CPS, possibly getting charged with “harboring a fugitive”, etc. In the end, it’ll protect you knowing what is right and what isnt right
I have been battling with this for years on whether or not I should let my daughter see her father. I always felt bad and thought since he wants to I should. But let me tell you I decided it is a big no. Because of the drugs. Drugs make you do crazy things and the thinking is off whether he is supervised or not. He will never be there 100 percent for her and that will hurt her in the end. He obviously has validated he can’t handle responsibility by not showing up to court.
The fact you had to come here and ask is a big sign that you shouldn’t because you have a doubt.
Where did you hear he had a warrant? Unless you heard it directly from him, I’d take it with a grain of salt. People talk and unfortunately, you can’t trust what they say 90% of the time. You said he’s working and child support is taken from his checks. If he really had a warrant, I’m pretty sure they’d pick him up at work if they wanted him bad enough. There are different kinds of warrants. Some of them are so insignificant, they’ll never go looking for the person, they’ll just wait til they get in trouble again.
I continuously go through this off and on with my sons father and its just a tricky situation…the part about you getting in trouble is false. As long as someone can get to the child to remove them from the situation they dont do anything else…cops domt like calling cps or the paperwork. Trust me as i know them out of several county’s very well no thanks to my sons father lol…
There is no court order so what id do is surpervise the visits under my roof or in a public place myself… Dont let her be alone in his custody as you just never know. If he dont like it he can wait until its taken care of…you dont owe him anything and your trying to co parent while keeping your baby safe… This is jist how i personally handle my sons father
Why does it matter if child support is taking out of his checks? Not trying to be rude but child support is not payment to see his own child? But personally no I wouldn’t. I would tell him to turn himself in. But then half of me would ask why he has a warrent? If it is for like a driving fraction. I see no problem just tell him to take care of it.
That’s your choice. My kids saw their dad getting arrested and it still haunts them. I will never allow that shit in my children’s life again. Their dad is a thief and a drug addict. My kids deserve so much more.
Yes. Hes still her dad.
I’d call and turn his ass in. You know what time he is supposed to be at his parents. Well, tip the cops off and just don’t show up with your daughter. Problem solved.
Just call and let them know where he is… he will get picked up… it will get taken care of… then her life will be back to normal and you won’t have to worry about her seeing him get arrested. Sounds mean but if he won’t turn himself in they will find him and take him. Then you risk traumatizing her. If you wait for him to get picked up then who knows how long before he does will add up until she can see him again.
No and if you know where he is tell him to turn himself in or you turn him in. You can get in trouble for this and your child could get taken away. I would keep her away.
1st u can call ur local jail and they will tell u if he has a warrant bc it’s public info 2nd child support and visitation do not go hand in hand 3rd yes u let her see her dad his parents r there it’s a safe environment and he legally has that right been through every bit of this with my daughters dad
Id let him see her. And grandparents have a right to see her too so I wouldn’t keep a child from family. Just imagine the shoe on the other foot. Wouldn’t you want to see your child? If the answer is yes then you should allow it
His warrant does not interfere with his parenting. If you concern is him getting taken to jail when she is around, his parents are there so she wouldn’t be alone.
I would have it supervised by his parents like you normally do incase he gets arrested or something.
Is he a good father? Then why not let them see each other???
Ummm…yes? Warrants dont negate someone’s right see their children. He doesnt deserve less because of it. It means he missed a court date. Shittt some of you girls i swear.
No and I would turn him in
I wouldn’t but not specifically because he has a warrant but more because I don’t want my kid traumatized watching their dad go to jail. It has a huge and never positive effect on a child. So yeah no tell him to handle that asap.
If you want your child to possibly see his dad get arrested.
It’s a FTA warrant, probably for a traffic ticket or something. Let that baby see her dad.
Nope. Been there. Done that and the kids ended up watching their dad get arrested. Don’t do it. If. It’s no big deal then he can go right to the courthouse and get it cleared up.
Don’t punish the child for the fathers problems. If he does get arrested in front of his child, ya it’s hard, but it may be the push he needs to not allow those things to happen again ya know.
Set a trap for him but find out what exactly the warrant is for and make that choice
Yeah, if you want her to end up at social services if he happens to get picked up while she’s with him
i wouldnt personally because of the warrant what happens if shes at his home and police come.and police might take her ask questions with him he might deny might not call you.if you do go back to supervised visits
No. If she’s in his care when he’s arrested then child protection definitely will get involved. Guaranteed. No, she can’t go. Period.
Let her enjoy every minute possible with him before hes taken away… but I would want his parents supervising incase he gets arrested at the time he’s got her x
I have similar situation. You can message me if you’d like.
Omfg the people in this thread. Let that child see her daddy! It’s not like he has a warrant for killing someone! It’s legit for not going to court all you Karens’ need to simmer down. Nor will the mother get arrested for anything.
They can’t take your child over serving a warrant. The ONLY way they take children while just serving a warrant is if that’s the ONLY adult present to care for said child, the child does have another parent. They don’t get put in the system over that kind of stuff.
So that being said… If hes clean let him see his child.
She might be worried of him getting busted while he has her?
I think it depends on the age . I wouldn’t want your daughter to have the memory of him being arrested but also think him engaging with and seeing her is good for his sobriety. As long as she is under the care of his parents and not him alone.
Wtf? Sounds like he needs to get a court order and have rights of his own, maybe your not telling the whole story but damn you sound difficult to coparent with, especially if you think you have the right to withhold his child because he missed court.
My ex had me arrested on a bogus charge in front of my kids and I will say that was extremely traumatizing for them. So hell no. Even if it’s a crap charge he needs to get that sorted before being around your kid. I won’t even go into all the terrible things that could go wrong during an arrest that she could be a part of or witness to. I just would never put my kid in that position. Does it suck? Sure. But he has to be an adult and face his problems. And your daughter will have to understand that if you have issues with the law you will be separated from your family at some point.
As long as grandparents know that the visit is supervised at all times I dont see what should change. He should not be allowed to take child anywhere. Will it be traumatic for child to see dad arrested? Depends on age and how you explain it mom. Your child your decision. It’s an FTA warrant, not murder, he may be elegible to have the warrant rescinded if there are weekly times wherein people with warrants can turn themselves in and have the bond reactivated ( if bondsman is willing) .
Did you know in sometimes courts order visitation for prisoners and there kids.?: what was court for? Has a lot to do if I would let child visit
I would say as.long as sum1 else is with them cuz if je gets pulled over or grab es Dcf willbe called n end up in yr life cuz u knees bout the warrant
NO NO NO!!! Stick to what you’ve been doing cause you will only screw yourself over in the end! Speaking from experience, still kick myself in the ass for it and it was 4 years ago!
Shes with him at his parents?
I didnt know my 3 daughters dad had a warrant and I let them go see him for Christmas and the cops came to his moms house and he ran out the back door with my daughters there, it was very scary for them and luckily their gma was there and he didnt leave them alone so I’m gonna say no it’s not a good idea
If his parents are the ones who takes care of the boy and the dad is still being supervised, and there’s no harm otherwise, I would let things continue how they have been going and make sure he isn’t alone with the child.
Ofcourse u should,especially if there are grandparents around as well
Yes let her see him cant take it out on the child
If his parents are present and can watch her, I would say ok
Not until he deals with the warrants.
Yes you should. Mind your business and give him all the time you can. Just don’t go too far away.
No… tell him he needs to turn himself in and take care of it first. If he is by chance arrested while he had her CPS could get involved in your lifem
It is not a fact that CPS will get involved because of warrants that’s simply untrue. Could you possibly be looking for reasons to deny him visitations? If that is what y’all have set up and agreed to then yes you should honor your commitment. As long as he is not using (on drugs) or harming her then nothing else is really your concern. She is in safe keeping and you are reachable then he should have his time honored.
Just a real quick question would you want your child in child services custody if he gets arrested because he has a warrant out for his arrest and gets caught with your child? I really cannot believe that you’re asking this I could not read past warrant:woman_facepalming:
If it’s at his parents house I’d say yes, if not no. Think of how she’d feel if she were to be in the car or at his place and he gets arrested in front of her. That’s something kids don’t need to be exposed to.
I wouldn’t if he has a warrant. He needs to get his life together first if he wants to be an active parent.
If you want to risk the emotional damage of her dad getting arrested In front of her, then yes. But I wouldn
Id just speak with the grandparents and make sure they are caring for the kids if something were to happen
And suggest to him to deal.with.it.
Um say yes then call the police and report he’s there
Depends on how u look at it. It’s good to have dad time. Although if he has a warrant there us a chance of him being picked up during the visit. Do u want your child to witness that?
I think he needs to deal with his warrant. It wouldn’t be fair to your child if he was arrested while with her. That warrant needs to be dealt with first and foremost. Parental ti. E is important but it’s also important that a child isn’t around someone who’s under a warrant and police are likely looking for: not a safe situation.
If he were to get arrested they would contact you for you to come and get your child I would continue letting him if it was for something horrible maybe not but just for not showing up in court yes let her .
I’m sorry that’s a stupid question. Your gonna deprive your child of her father because of the warrant Seem like your looking for a reason to be petty.
It’s not up to you! It is up to the courts! You don’t get to decide to change the judges orders because you heard x, y, or z.
If you feel she is in danger file for an emergency custody hearing to gain full custody with no visitation.
Until then you don’t get to decide when she sees her father.
Then when he goes to jail, who supports you ??
Do you fear for your daughters safety when she’s with him? Is she taken care of while with him? Fed, clothed, bathed, treated respectfully? If she’s not mistreated in anyway and he’s not exposing her to his drug use and/or letting her see him high or intoxicated I don’t see how keeping her from her parent would solve anything. However, if he doesn’t shield her from his habits, absolutely keep her with you. No child deserves to be exposed to that. You have to do what you feel is best for your daughter! Your her mama, you got this.
The visits are supervised. Cps won’t get involved. They only get involved when they can not locate the other parent or the child doesn’t have a safe place to stay. Parents get arrested all the time. If it’s not anything to do with the child why would cps get called. Think about it. If the dad was FTA to court for a speeding ticket … what grounds would cps have to stand on for removing the child from the MOM?.
The only one you’re hurting is your daughter.
I’ll never understand a mom who makes any excuse to keep their kid from fathers who want to be involved. I could never take my kids away from their dad no matter the situation knowing he’s a damn good dad & wants to be involved.
They rarely just pop up and arrest people on a failure to appear warrant.
I would let your daughter see her father.
What does your custody order say? If you dont comply you are in contempt and may also face jail time. If you are genuinely concerned contact your attorney and take it back to court.
If he’s a goid father of course let her see him. He’s going to jail soon for the warrant, so let her see him.
I think you should try to convincehim to turn himself in. And get it all cleared up and not let him see the kid unsupervised until it is cleared up.
If it is supervised and another adult is there than even if he is arrwsted, they will not call child services. They will call you and she can remain with her grandparents. And of course you dont want your child to witness that but, if he has a bench warrant for not going to court they dont really go seeking people for that. Its generally not a high priority warrant. And He can simply deal with it by going to the court and getting another court date.
Take him to court for child support. If he shows up he’ll pay for his warrant. If he doesn’t you know he’s not serious about being a father.
I wouldn’t because of the fact he has a warrant and you are aware of it, I know in Canada you are supposed to turn them in if you know where they can find the person. It is aiding and abetting if she sees him and you allow it, technically because you are aware of him committing the crime of not showing up to court
If his parents supervise visitation and he does not leave with your child at any time I’d continue to allow the visitations. I would just recommend that you or the grandparents take care of all transportation so there is no risk of the child being in a vehicle with him if he were to get pulled over and subsequently arrested.
No!! I have been through something similar with a friend. If they show up to get him while she is there they will take her into state custody. Especially since he nor his parents have any right to her. Now if you go with and chill while she is there you could walk out the door with her no questions ask. That’s how it works in Indiana anyways. My friend had her kids back in a CPL hrs but an open case will still be on your record.
I would talk to him about just turning himself in, if its his first time missing court its only $150 to bail himself out and get a new court date and only takes an hour or so for paperwork, then neither of you has to worry about it. If financially he’s not able to at this exact moment but still a good father to your little one, I wouldn’t let the warrant stop them from seeing eachother. But if he has no means to want to take care of it, I would consider a little differently.
Talk to your lawyer. I wouldn’t personally, but find out what you can do. You stay out of his personal business. Let his parents talk to him or tell the authorities where he’ll be on the weekend.