Should I let my kids live with their dad?

No, I would return everything.

That’s a little bit on the ridiculous side. I’d pack them up in the car, head down to the nearest soup kitchen and voluntold their little butts to give them an eye opening experience in gratitude by making them volunteer and letting them see first hand that there are people in this world that literally have nothing but what they can carry. There are three major things your kids are dealing with right now. Anger/Confusion from your divorce. Divorce is hard on the adults, imagine how hard it is for your kids to understand, consider getting them into therapy to help manage those feelings. Parents will often over compensate with material items for their children after a divorce to show they are still loved-it’s not how it is supposed to work. Second, they are learning how to handle disappointment. This one is tough for a lot of people, especially since the introduction of instant gratification. Things just don’t mean as much as they used to because with the snap of a finger they have it and we no longer have to wait for anything really. We can stream our favorite TV shows at the drop of a hat with no commercials, if the grocery store doesn’t have an item, we can drop ship it from Amazon. There is no delayed gratification so we don’t appreciate the things we do have or do get. Third, your kids are growing up and have hormones surging through them. Believe it or not, a little communication with them can go a long way. You didn’t fail, you just need to find out what they are really struggling with.

Let them go who says the mother has to have the kids…you are definitely not a failure

One year my son got a toy at a family Christmas that he had already received that morning. Rather than smile and say thank you, he pouted and threw a fit. I was mortified. We got back in the car when it came time to leave, pulled out on to the highway- and I threw both those mfers out the window. He has never acted ungrateful again. :upside_down_face:

Don’t give them the easy out and don’t go buy them more shit!

These children are manipulating their custodial parent by threatening to ‘live with Dad’ as if all they want would be fulfilled by said Dad. Not at all uncommon behavior for children of divorce who may have felt powerless to prevent the breakup of their parents/family. Children will manipulate negative situations to meet their perceived benefit(s). Been there seen this. What is their father’s involvement in their lives and would he even want them to live with him.?

Make them find kids who didn’t get anything and have them hand there own presents out.

Agree return everything. Either donate or buy yourself something. Make them volunteer at a food pantry, homeless shelter to see how good they really have it

No. They need to learn that being spoiled with gifts is a privilege that only grateful children should get. They need to learn respect, humility, and gratitude.
I suggest taking every thing they complained about back and using the money to buy the stuff they will need in a few months like bigger clothes.
Giving them to someone that is going to make this spoiled, ungrateful behavior worse isn’t a good thing for your children

Give the woman real advice!! Do you really think she will literally pack up those toys, put the kids in the car & return the gifts to the store? All while they cry? No. She needs advice, not unrealistic “parenting” from a lot of you (who would never even do that to your own kids).

Every child is different… even as an adult I am sometimes ungrateful. I am human and so are they. Talk to them. If they don’t understand, show them by volunteering at a food bank. They are learning this behavior somewhere whether it’s from other friends talking about what they got, or watching video “hauls” online. Find the source and nip it.

And never ever let your babies leave because “they didn’t like your cheap gifts”. What would that teach them???

Hell no! You teach them that material things are temporary and your love will always be there!!!

I’d bring them to donate their stuff that they’re ungrateful for to kids who didn’t get a Christmas, and then tell them NO they can’t just go live with him because they’re mad

Myself I would sit down and have a serious talk with them. Explain you tried your best and Christmas isn’t about the gifts it’s about family and showing each other love appreciation ect. Also explain if they really don’t like the gifts they complained about you guys could donate them to kids who would love them and make them happy do a good deed. (They will probably say no cause they do want the gifts :sweat_smile: - in which I’d ask them to maybe show a little more appreciation. Any gift is special no matter what it is because someone was thinking of them and tried to make them happy when they didn’t have to.) Then I’d see why they want to live with their dad? Do they miss him and want more time with him? Or is it because they think they’d get more with him? If it’s really they miss him and want to be with him some more and they’d have a stable life their too I would talk to the dad and consider it but for other reasons I wouldn’t maybe let them do a visit instead.

You didn’t kids are like that sometimes because they just don’t know

If they don’t like or appreciate anything they are given. Take them to donate to less fortunate people and start making them help out where it’s needed. Might change their minds. Have less for them.

So many questions need to be asked. How many kids. Ages, how long divorced? Dad even want them. Is he actively involved in their lives. Have you done some family counseling…is it possible this is a response to being dissatisfied with the situation not know how to express it properly? Don’t rush anything. Sounds like you’re hurting. Breathe…pray
.get support.

No. You don’t give up on your kids ever, just to spare your feelings.

No they think grass will be greener on the other side. They need a lesson in something because that was spoiled behavior and rude to you mom. Not getting something for Christmas is not a valid reason to switch houses.

Take all their stuff and load it up for them to donate.

Absolutely not!!! And if you do let them and they realize moms house was better don’t let them come back!

Not for this. Theyre ungrateful and entitled.

I would have them pack everything up not you them and take them to donate it to a home where kids have nothing. I then would make them ask their dad what he thinks is of them living with him every day and taking care of them daily with the same help he gives you. I told my daughter when she was younger going through her tantrums go ahead ask your dad to live with him and she realized that I did everything for her and he would never be able too.

They are in that the grass is greener on the other side phase. Maybe let them stay there for a couple of weeks and see that it’s not any different there as it would be at your house. You have them full-time right now so you are the disciplinarian. Make sure things get done person. They would probably say the same thing after a while once they were at their dads. Try not to take it personally, but they definitely need to be humbled.

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Take them to go serve in a homeless shelter, food bank, volunteer in a retirement home, they need a dose of reality not an alternative living because it didn’t go their way. Especially if it was things they asked for months ago on a list. Go through the house and purge clothes toys not in use and give away on Buy Nothing group, or donate to a shelter.

Let them it is not a defeat or a loss. He is their father too and there always comes a time when a child in a divorced family wants to go to the other parents house. If you refuse they will only become resentful towards you, as you see. You can’t buy them with gifts. You can’t win them by always doing what they want except for that. They will leave in a nasty way if you don’t let them go. Most times when a mother let’s the kid go the kid goes and comes back because it is not what they thought it would be. But to deny them is not ok because then you are standing in the way of father and child and child will resent that. Children deserve unlimited access for what ever they need to BOTH parents if both parents are good parents there is no reason to say no. It will hurt for a but but the reward is worth it. You will gain some respect from your kids for being considerate of how they feel and a parents job is to place the child’s needs first. So we f he is not an abusive father or anything let them go have that experience.

Dad should also have a discussion with the children about gratitude and how they should treat their mother (depending on the situation). When it comes to gifts and toys and vacations , my kids dad and I don’t really interfere with each other, but when it comes to what type of child we want to raise , we are all in ( new spouses included) . Those small gifts won’t make up who your kids will grow up to be but how they behaved will most definitely. If your coparenting situation is safe and healthy , I personally think this is a conversation for you both to have with the kids . And I would hope dad would be on board with correcting the behavior , letting the children know there are a lot of reasons they could live with him but not receiving gifts they wanted from you is not one of them.
(unless there is more to the story of course )

Also, if your mental health is at stake , and dad is a good dad … it’s ok to let them go until you are ok :heart:

Nope! Take everything you bought the ungrateful little brats and donate to a childrens home

I’d take every thing back n get a refund. No they’re not moving with dad. They’re gonna complain and be ungrateful than they don’t deserve anything

So they can become spoiled brats? No.

Let them go live with him. I know it’s hard but as long as u fight they will fight u. Your always going to be the bad guy if you keep them apart

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Don’t do it. Matter fact. If that was me. I would’ve return everything back to the store.

Is this a serious question?
Absolutely not! You will not be doing them any favors by letting them go live with their dad simply because you can’t afford expensive crap. Teach them that it’s not about having expensive things, its about having what you can afford and to live within your means. I was happy to get coloring books and a new box of crayons on Christmas.

Your kids are just kids do not give in to them

Tell him hell no and don’t buy them anything next Christmas. 

Absolutely not. Teach them what the real meaning of Christmas is. Sounds like you have ungrateful kids.

no cause they think dad will buy them what ever they want or dad will buy them anything some kids can be ungrateful they dont relize how much we do to make sure they have food and cloths and a roof … it cost alot of money to run a house and make sure kids are fed and loved … i would not send my kid with their dad cause dad will get me what i want

No, you sound like your raising entitled brats- they didn’t get something they didn’t like. Tough shit. Id be taking each and every one of them back to the store and returning the items- in front of them.
Id also be making their ungrateful asses volunteer at a soup kitchen or food bank so they can really see what its like to not have ANYTHING.
Letting them move doesn’t teach them anything, other than they are allowed to be ungrateful asses.

Get yourself & your children a good counselor. Single moms have the weight of the world. Bless your heart.