My kids dad is in prison. Their grandma wants to take them for a visit… My oldest loves her dad like no other (the other do too but oldest had more time with him) but I’m just nervous for them. I’ve a had a few ppl tell me there’s no way they’d let their kids do it but I’m torn. They love their dad & he was never bad to them. Any advice?
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Are you able to go with them? I think I would let my kids go, but with the condition I go as well (at least the first time or two).
I think it depends on age of kids , under 5probably not.
I use to go visit my uncle in prison with my grandma. In my eyes as a kid it was like getting to visit him anywhere, I didn’t have an issue with it. When we didn’t want to go in they had a room on the outside with kid stuff to do and snacks. As an adult one thing I did gain from it is that I never ever want to be in prison.
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I grew up with my father in prison, I only got to see him when my family took me. My mom or my grandma (his mom). They made it fun and a exciting road trip. I look back on it now as an adult and I am great full I got the chance to be around my dad, if even for that little bit.
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Honestly depends why he’s in prison. If it’s not for like rape, murder, doing anything with a minor or anything to do with the children I personally don’t see the problem in keeping the child’s relationship with their father going. They will thank you in the long run!
When I went to visit a friend in a medium security facility I saw woman who had brought their kids. You were able to be outside or in the cafeteria and they had some things they could play with.
However I wouldn’t take my children to a max security facility
I went and saw my dad in prison many times i was 12 the 1st time, and then my mum stopped me and all i did was resent her for it. Dont stop your kids seeing their dad just cause hes behind bars dont mean he dosent still love them
Most of my family worked at the Federal Bureau Prison. In some cases. Not all. But in most cases it’s actually beneficial to the incarcerated parent and the children. Definitely have a deep conversation about it and see how they feel about it. As long as you don’t force them you wont damage them by letting them see their father. If anything it teaches them what not to do to end up in the same place.
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When my kids dad was in prison, i didn’t actually take them to go see him. but i would let them do the video visits alot.
It did cost me money but i felt it was better to do it that way then to actually take them to a prison.
I would ask the kids, if they say yes then let them. If they are nervous, then see if you can go with them
I feel like my decision would rely on what exactly he was charged with and the ages of all the children involved.
Personally I wouldn’t. It’s been awhile that I’ve visited anyone in jail. I remember it being a scary process in my 20s. Remember your children will be in line with shady people after all they raised or choose to be with criminals. Do you want your kids in a room & talking to people like that?
Their father made a decision to put his criminal behavior above his children’s well being. That’s his choice. It’s your job now to pick up the pieces & explain to your kids that his behavior is wrong, unacceptable. Don’t encourage it by letting him see him. JMHO I’m sure there’s many people, probably with criminal pasts, that think a prison visitation room is an acceptable for a child.
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If the kids want to go It’s their dad .stop caring what people think
If hes in prison for something unrelated to hurting or putting them at risk, i would let grandma start taking them & i would encourage you to go ad well. He & you have to co parent. Frankly itll be easier once you get along.