Should I put my kids in daycare or let grandparents watch them?

I’m trying to convince my fiancè that putting our toddler and new baby into daycare is best for their development. Also, his parents are in their 70s and my mom is in her 60s. His mom isn’t always in the best mental place nor is my mom in the best physical place. And them doing it together, would not be a good idea lol.Am I wrong to feel that a daycare worker would be more physically and mentally capable of watching our kids? I feel it would also help them to socialize with other kids their age.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I put my kids in daycare or let grandparents watch them?

You could start the grandparents out with one day and day care the rest and see how that goes?

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Daycare! The grandparents can spend time and not feel burdened if it ever gets to be too much and it will at some point.

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You can use daycare and have the grandparents as back up.

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Why not half daycare half grandparents

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I personally will never put my kids into daycare. Too many horror stories.

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If grandparents are willing then let them!

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We had to stop from letting my mother in law watch our child once she became mentally and physically unable. She was so so helpful in the beginning but 3 years later she just isn’t able. Do what keeps your babies safe.

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I would trust grandparents over daycare. They can socialize in preschool

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You could do part time daycare to start. Let the grandparents help a little! My daughter is 20 and was keep by my grandmother until 3 did just fine! Good luck in doing what works best for your family. I totally get where you are coming from

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I would never put my children in daycare unless I had absolutely no other choice

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Will daycare create any kind of financial strain? I would list pro’s and con’s for each. Is part time in daycare an option? Maybe M,W,F at daycare and T,Th with grandparents?

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Daycare for the social/emotional skills for the kiddos and grandparents as a back up or to get time with them

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Personally I would do daycare and have grandparents as a backup.

Daycare is so good for kids to develop social skills before school

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My parents are mud 70’s and live to babysit, how old are the kids? Have a safety plan in place, camera? Calls?

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I personally only trust my family or my fiance’s family with our son but everyone has their own opinions on babysitters and day care

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Daycare workers are literally professional child watchers. Always the better option in my opinion

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If i had a choice i wouldn’t have my kids in daycare when my mom could she watched my kids and when grandpa can he watches my older two.

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Personally I feel like that young to much work for that age group. If it was only one yes . But I’m 55 after a day with my two I’m tired. I dance swim walk and to park constantly trying to figure out entertainment for them. Now my older granddaughters entertain themselves. They are easy. But you could split time so the parents could rest.

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Do daycare …as a gramma and great gramma…we may want to do it…but are not able to do so…

I keep my grandchild two days a week and the other she goes to daycare . I kept her as a new born three days a week and that’s all my DIL worked . I think if grandparents can do it , let them . But , I will say my grandchild is in an excellent daycare and Is thriving there , too . So maybe try both ?

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Let the grandparents keep them a couple of days a week and send them to daycare the other days. Win for everyone

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Idk man. A lot of kids get hurt or killed at day cares nowadays

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Put them in part time 3-4 days a week and have the grandparents take turns for the other days

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In this day I would trust family before daycare my hubby just mentioned daycare for our baby and I just couldn’t see myself doing that with everything that’s been happening

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Unpopular opinion:

Stay home with them as long as possible :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Second: if not possible yourself, try family first

Third:

If reasonable money is worth giving your children to strangers & you can afford it without regrets, check out daycare :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Let grandma be grandma. If you have the means put them in daycare. For me if your babes was a little bit older that would be different. But at their age they need constant stimulation and supervision. At that age I just don’t think they have the energy to do it.

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If you can afford it however let grandma baby sit from time to time. They need to see the grand kids

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I think keither way would be fine talk to the grandparents see how they feel and how much they would want daycare is expensive

I don’t know but my opinion is let the grandparents try it if there’s no big hurry to get them in right away to the daycare let the grandparents try it you’ll soon realize it’s a full-time job and just let them know that Daycare is on the table and if they want to you can start putting them in daycare

Parents are only around for so long. Let them bond unless they are in real danger. Plus helps the older parents keep going and saves tons!!

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Personally, I would not want my child to be in a daycare.

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I completely understand wanting both sides.
If grandparents are wanting and offering, maybe let them watch them 1 day a week and the rest of the time send them to daycare?
My mom has owned a daycare for almost 20 years for ages 6weeks-prek and they take amazing care of their babies up there. I know so many people are apprehensive about sending their babies, but I promise there are some really good ones out there who love your babies like their own :black_heart:

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Go for daycare. I had 2 sets of grandparents in my house, while I was working and my 2 year old still managed to escape, and go walking down the street. Thank goodness a police officer found him and my son was able to point to where he lived. 4 adults in my house and my baby got out the door! 4 adults!!

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I don’t trust daycares. Period.

But if your family isn’t mentally or physically stable to watch them either then I don’t know if I’d trust that either.

I’d just stay home. Lol.

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Plus until the child can speak I’d go with trusted family.

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I completely understand. It’s nice that they still have their grandparents and can create a relationship with them. But I think 2 kids for either one to watch all the time is to much. Maybe on the days the school is closed or dinners out but children can be physically exhausting.

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I would try both and see what works best for your kiddos.

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My husband is 71.I am almost 70. We have Raised our Grands from birth. Any questions. We are Blessed

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Grandparents. We’re not putting our kids in daycare. To many horror stories, plus let them get time in with their grandparents, they’re only around for so long.

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Time w grandparents is invaluable.

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Do both if you can. That way the grandparents can bond with their grandbaby and the child can also have some educated & structured socialization.

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IMO I think you can spread it out there , make a schedule grandparents up at grandma daycare that way the child is well socialized between all

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My parents watched my kids, it was a blessing. I put them in preschool when they turned 3 to socialize. If they’re capable, let the grandparents watch them. The kids and grandparents will probably enjoy it. My Dad passed last year, I’m glad my kids were around him all the years prior. Both my kids have fond memories that I am glad they have.

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I don’t put my kids anywhere until they can communicate.

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Daycare
Let the grandparents live out there older years .

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It’s summer! Find a teenager who wants to make some extra spending money. That’s what I did!

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I am 73 and look after my almost 2 year old granddaughter two days a week. I love it. I play with her and read and just have fun. She doesn’t have to get up if still asleep or sick. And I love her.

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Family is Definately the best

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I don’t trust daycares and it seems like it would be a lot for the grandparents. Maybe a nanny in your home?

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Send them to daycare. They’re licensed and help with creativeness and socializing with children too so that helps in the long run.

Definitely grandparents if they our offering

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Try the grand parents a few times a week, it keeps them young.

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Maybe grandparents can watch them on days when they can’t go to daycare. I’m talking as a grandparent…we are TIRED.:wink:

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1 day per grandmother. 3 in daycare. Best of both

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Pretty much every local grandparent at one point or another has offered to watch kids. The minute they realize how much work small kids are they will usually back off from the offer. Get a full time daycare and then let the grandparents have the occasional treat of watching the kids for a day.

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Just for social interaction, so much better for them when they go to school.

Maybe try a part-time thing only send your children to daycare 2-3 times a week and let the grandparents be involved on the other two days. Couldn’t hurt to try it at the very least

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Have you looked at the cost of 2 children in daycare? Its at least $1000 a month. I personally wouldn’t put my baby and toddler in daycare if I had family to watch them. My mom watches my son while I work.

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I’m just going to be honest.
Daycares scare me. I have read and seen TOO many stories about daycare workers hurting kids. And my sister used to work at one and told me the horrible stories. She got fried for going out of her job description.
If you don’t want the grandparents doing it.
Maybe find a nanny. Extensive background checks and reputable recommendations. And nanny cams.

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Daycare or preschool

Find a teenager who wants to make extra money or a college student if not daycare

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Not all day cares are bad. They learn socialization, how to prepare for school age. They learn they gotta listen to someone besides mom and dad.

Grandparents for sure.

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Daycare centers/providers are more capable. That’s literally their job and what they’re trained to do. Daycare will also help socialize your children, get them on routines and schedules and prepare them for school.

Although, grandparents are a safe choice and smother them with love. It may be possible that the grandparents want to watch them just to be able to spend time with them.

I’d suggest a compromise. Part-time daycare, part-time grandma(s).

Maybe ask the grandparents what they think. Maybe they will not want to watch the kids. Talk it out

I wish I had parents to watch my kids. I would let your parents babysit. I’m a grandma that wishes I could watch mine but they live so far away. Good luck with your decision.

I loved that I got to watch my grandson for the first few yrs of his life, I worked 3 - 12 hr shifts, so I was lucky enough to watch him at least twice a wk, :slightly_smiling_face: Oh what a thrill. I would say to you, maybe not every day, if that gives you concern, Maybe once a wk would be nice, unless something happens

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Better make sure that the daycare is not indoctrinating bad things — but it sounds like you’ll probably have free daycare

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I am 71 and I help with my grandkids … I love it and we have an awesome relationship

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Do both. Daycare M/W/F and grandmas T/TH.

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If you are going to send them to a daycare pick one that has cameras that you can watch from your phone all day .

Grandparents are awesome (most of them) because of their age and the issues they have they should not watch them everyday, but maybe they can watch them one day etch and then 3 days at the day care , that way they get to spend time with their grandparents but they unit be overwhelmed with the kids , they can learn , socialize and make friends at the daycare and you can also save some money

Definitely not with grandparents

It’s so unfair that parents now think it’s ok to have grandparents be a babysitter. That’s your kid… put them in a daycare and leave grandparents to enjoy their old days

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They’re way too old to watch TWO babies every single week day. I’m 27 and I don’t even have energy for that lol. Maybe one or two days a week tops

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I avoided daycare as long as I was able to. When I did use daycare one of my managers recommended the one I ended up using. Her nephew and son went there for years. Even then I was still nervous. Also with covid people are still sending thier kids when they’re sick. My kids caught covid the first month of school this school year. The girl told her mom she was sick and her mom still sent her.

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All kids at daycare are sick all the time.

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If there grandparents aren’t safely able then yes it’s daycare

I would say split it up. 2 days with grandparents 3 with daycare or vice versa

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Daycare x and ask grandparents to help collect and drop child off when your stuck or once a week each , they will be able to see are they able and you’ve all areas covered incase you ever need one of them you’ve 3 all ready and know what they are doing x

It will help with development, but the baby will be put in line to eat so sometimes he will eat on time but some times if there’s no extra hands then baby will have to cry and wait to be fed bc other babies are being fed (usually only 2 teachers in a room and many babies) oh and same for diapers changes. Sometimes if other babies are wet also baby might need to sit for a couple minutes until it’s her turn. I changed my baby immediately so that kinda sucks also… older child will be fine

My dad watched my son in his late 60s. He watched him from 6 weeks to 2 years. He did great keeping up with him and taking him to the library, etc., but eventually my dad decided that my son needed more interaction with other kids and more of the learning stuff they do in daycare. So we enrolled him in a daycare just after he turned 2. Both were great for him. I’m so happy my dad watched him those years and they have a special bond. My parents still babysit when we need it, just not full time.

I’d consider your parents’ stamina and ask their opinion as well. It’s a lot.

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Well let’s hope nothing happens to them at daycare.

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Unless there is a safety issue then as long as the grandparents want to watch them then that is the option I would choose. Before I became a stay at home Mom my grandfather watched my son after his last sitter abused him and it brought my grandfather back to life, it gave him a reason to wake up every morning again, and yes I did pay him actually better than the previous sitter

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Here’s an idea - stay home & raise your own kids. Did you birth them for daycare or mom-care?

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Daycare! It helps so much with social skills. Maybe try a combo of both for a bit if the daycare allows you to be part time? We go to an in home daycare and it’s honestly the best thing ever.

My dad is 72 and has been watching his great grandson from his wife for the last 5 years. I truly believe this has helped my dad in the sense of his healthy. He looks forward to when he is there. His wife and him have the baby on a schedule and he is well advanced for his age because they have patience to teach. Liam started kindergarten this year and I saw a decline in my dads happiness. You will have to do what’s best for you in the end. But your children will never get this time back with their grandparents

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I was a preschool teacher for 14 years. We are constantly taking new trainings, none of us are there for the money (lol), watching the kids grow, develops, and advance is really the only reason to get into child care. With that being said! - make sure you your the centers during normal hours (don’t go at nap time- they typically won’t let you your then anyway) ask about curriculum, arts and crafts, and the age groups schedule. Ask about their security and if they have cameras in every room. Sometimes we overlook these things. I have seen some shady things happen and some shady people work at daycares (met while at trainings or new hires that did not last) … join local groups and look for recommendations, pros and cons etc of daycares in your area or specifically the one you are looking into. I wish you the best of luck!!

At that age… Daycare

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I personally don’t like daycare. I watch my sister’s kids all the time so they don’t have to go to daycare and it saves my sister money. Sometimes our mom and the other grandparents take turns so one person doesn’t get overwhelmed. So maybe do both

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That’s tough. Pros and cons to each situation. I would sit with your husband and weigh all possible situations.

With grandparents, your child will get all the attention, fed when hungry, changed when needed, held when upset…
Daycare, your child is just another crying baby to the already outnumbered staff… if the grandparents can safely watch a baby, why not?!

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Seriously do your research! You can’t trust anyone 100% and stay on top of things. Daycare can be a great income and I don’t want anyone watching children that aren’t good with them. Money or parents wanting to stay home with their own children can be the greatest motive. :grimacing:

I had two very young children in daycare and would do it again, if and only IF, I could walk in (no knocking) unannounced (at any time) like I was able to do and did do. Never once was anything “off” or out of sorts with ANY of the children. Well, except a baby alpaca walking around in the play area with the kids. :rofl::rofl: She too wore a diaper and the kids loved her.

When my boys were older I wasn’t real crazy about the daycare options I had at the time but felt confident enough to leave them part-time because they were able to tell me who was “naughty” and the daily happenings. By that time they were 8-10ish.

Honestly, I lean towards the grandparents watching them but I also understand your reasoning. Littles are a lot of work when you’re young, muchless retired. Young children require so much attendance and the thought of a baby screaming themselves to sleep or a toddler getting “punished” in an unacceptable manner haunts me. They can’t tell you… and daycare providers can put on quite a front. Yes, I know of more negative experiences than good ones. I know of daycare providers that can’t stand children= a no go for me!! But, they know how to groom the parents to believe they love their kids. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Please weigh your decision very carefully! :heart:

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I would try to see if you can do part time daycare only 3 days a week and the other 2 days at the grandparents. This way you can save some money and your child can still be worked with. It would probably be easier on the grandparents too. It’s exhausting watching kids all day let alone at an older age

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