Should I tell my daughters friends mom she has been lying?

I found out my daughters friend has been lying to her mom about where she is staying. She says she is at my house but she isnt, she will be at another friend who her mom doesnt know so she doesnt want her over there…i dont want to snitch because that child is literally always grounded for dumb reasons and spends most of ther time inside because her parents always feel the need to ground her…vut at the same time i feel uncomfrotable because what if somethin happened and her mom came here to look for her? help

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I tell my daughters friends mom she has been lying?

If her mom calls there looking I wouldn’t cover for her… also if somethings happens at this friends house you don’t wanna be blamed since she said she’s at your house yanno.

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Tell her to cover yourself

Would you want her mother to tell you if it was your kid doing this?

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I would tell her yourself or tell your daughter to tell her friend to not use you as a cover up because you are NOT going to cover for her God forbid anything happens.

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That’s definitely a tough one. I wouldn’t say anything unless her mom would call and need something. The mom most likely doesn’t know or wouldn’t think you would know since it’s her daughter lying about it. Pretend like you don’t know unless she calls you directly. If this is how you wanna handle it. Or if you think about it as your daughter doing this, would you wanna know? Either tell her or don’t. Or tell the friend to stop using your house as a cover up or you will tell her mom.

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Do you want to and expect to know where your own child is?

If the child in question was your own how would you want and expecr the other parent to handle it?

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I would still say something. Unless she’s over the age of 18. They could held you responsible since she was suppose to stay at your house.

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I would say let that young lady know that what she is doing is not okay with you and that you will have to tell her Mom that she is not with you.

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I would tell the little girl not to use my house as a cover because i wont cover for her. Her parents may be overly strict but then again kids exaggerate too. At the same time how would you feel if roles were reversed. As parents we need to stick together. These kids are too smart for their own good sometimes.

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Tell her! None of anyone’s bussines why she’s grounded she’s the parent!

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Tell her flat out. Anything happens you don’t want to be liable

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I would wait for her to ask. If my kid spent a lot of nights at a parent’s house I would reach out once in a while… if she doesn’t, maybe she doesn’t want to know… my mom was like that lol. This may not be popular opinion.
If the girl did hang around my house I would talk to her as well.

Tell the mom the truth

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Talk to the kid first. Explain how dangerous it is and the situation it outs your child and yourself in. If that doesn’t work…snitch

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I would have your daughter tell this girl that she can’t use you as a cover anymore. You’ve thought about it and if her mother decides to check up on her, you could get in trouble. Tell her you’re sorry, but that’s how it’s gotta be.

If you would want to know, tell her.

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Just visit with child /girl— and find out what is going on. This may be bigger than you think. Let her know she needs to be truthful Help her make the right decision

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Talk to the daughter’s friend and let her know you won’t lie for her and to stop lying to her mom bc you will tell her the truth if the mom asks if she’s there.

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If she was your child, would you want another parent covering up where she’s at? If something happens to her when she’s supposed to be at your house, you’ll be the first suspect.

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Do the parents not confirm with you? Or are you lying too?

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It’s become a dangerous world we live in now.

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Yes tell. :person_shrugging: Don’t aid her in lying to her parents. If something happens and they find out you know ,they will find a way to blame you.

Gotta put your family first. If the mom wanted to come at you, she could even get the police involved. Id ask the mom if she has or has considered getting Life360.

If it was my child sneaking around behind my back and another parent knew I’d be furious they didn’t tell me. There may be very specific reasons why she isn’t allowed at a house her parents don’t know and it’s in my personal opinion a little childish to “keep a secret” for a CHILD. If she is a minor her parents NEED to know where she is for her safety. Just because you find their reasonings dumb doesn’t make you right either by the way, it’s THEIR child and they are allowed to parent however works for them as long as they arent causing her harm (if they are then why you coming to fb) so you need to be the adult in the situation and tell her parents “it has come to my attention that insert name told you she was staying over at my house on insert day but that’s not the case. She was not at my house and I feel like it was necessary for you to know exactly what was going on with your daughter for her safety”

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Yeah tell the girl you are aware, and you will not be her excuse. You refuse to lie for her if her mum ever asks you.

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As an adult you should let the girls parents know what’s going on. Maybe she is going to another girl’s house but maybe shes going to a boy’s house. I wouldn’t want to be the one being accused of letting someone else’s kid get pregnant on my watch​:grimacing: If you cover for her then it is partially your responsibility. I’d be a little hurt for my daughter too. Being asked to lie and cover for a “friend” who’d rather go have fun with someone else is a bunch of :ox: :poop:. That “friend” is using your daughter which isn’t cool.
From my own personal experience though (I was a sneaky teen once lol) there probably is a boy involved. Teen girls rarely use other girls as cover stories unless there is a boy involved.

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My advice is if this was your daughter what would you want the other mom to do.

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Absolutely tell her parents… I’d feel obligated to tbh. Imagine if it were reversed? Or imagine something terrible happening to this girl when she’s supposed to be under your care. Idk when it comes to kids as parents we have to “snitch”…we aren’t here to be friends with our kids or any other children.

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Really consider what the reason behind her deception is. Don’t tell Mom, tell the kid to stop. Parents are overly punitive. She just wants to spend time with her other friend. Tell her to stop using you as cover to do it.

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This is probably why she’s always grounded doing sneaky sh*t :woman_shrugging:

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Absolutely tell her.

Yes, maybe this girl is lying to you about what her mother does to her. She maybe playing you both!

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Have a talk with the girl and explain your position. You will give her the choice of coming clean with her mom on her own and give her a time limit… if she not, then you will tell the Mom yourself.

It sounds like she needs to be grounded for dumb reasons or not, if she’s lying to her mom then she needs to be confronted about it. Give her the option to tell her mom and to introduce the two of them or tell her you will tell her mom and will not lie for her anymore.

How old is the child?

You could maybe let the child know that you are onto her and give her the opportunity to come clean to her parents before you do.

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If it were your child, would you want to be told? Her mom needs to know that she hasn’t been staying at your house so that if something happens or happened, you cannot be blamed.
As parents, we need to support each other. Times are hard enough.

Well maybe don’t tell her mom yet but talk to her and tell her that you can’t lie for her And that you would have to tell her mother if she continues to do so

Would you want the friends mom to tell you, if it was your daughter lying about where she is?

From the kids perspective, I understand. My mom was strict about where I was, who I was with and what I was doing… which lead to sneaking around. As a parent, I would want to know where my child is, just in case.

I would approach the friend first. Let her know that you don’t think it’s a good idea for her to lie to her mother and be somewhere where he mom doesn’t know about because any number of things could happen. Then tell her that you won’t lie for her if her mother asks.

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It sounds like she needs to be grounded. It’s not overly punitive if your child is lying and sneaking around… its called parenting.

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I kinda feel sorry for the kid, no wonder she feels the need to lie when she’s already grounded all the time for dumb reasons!
Maybe have a word next time you see her and suggest she introduces the friend to her mum so she doesn’t have to lie anymore?

Don’t enable bad behaviour or lying… It’s not worth it

Did you ever stop to think that’s why she’s always grounded.

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Can you possibly have the other friend and her friend come over there? Assuming your daughter is friends with them both as well. Then she doesn’t get grounded and doesn’t need to lie either.

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What would you want if it was your child? There’s your answer

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Yes tell her. That’s probably why she is always grounded.

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Maybe she’s always grounded cause she’s dishonest :thinking::thinking::thinking:. Definitely be an adult and tell the mom.

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How would you feel if it was your child and your friend did not tell you

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I’d tell the kid that you know her mom thinks she is at your house and to either knock it off and tell the truth, or you will. Give her a chance to fess up to it before going to the mom, if she is that strict but be sure you follow through, if she doesn’t. My parents were strict strict but man am I thankful now as an adult that they were because I saw way to many people that I know/knew go down horrible paths. She will thank you later in life, I promise.

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Don’t feel like this is a dumb reason to be grounded! If it were my kid, I’d want to know!

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No one want to get kids in trouble especially kids that ain’t your and your kids friends. But yes for her safety the mom needs to know.

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Would you want your friends daughter to lie to you about your child, also her parenting may be ridiculous to you but yours may be ridiculous to someone else still doesnt make it okay to lie to another parent about their childs whereabouts because you dont agree with how they parent :woman_shrugging:. Please tell her

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What’s dumb to you isn’t dumb to them you have no idea what goes on inside their house hold. I would never lie for a child. What if said child went missing and " your house " was the place she was supposed to be. Then whay

Honestly always. You’re right…what if something bad did happen and you knew all along she’s been lying… no bueno :woman_shrugging:t3:

Talk to the girl before you talk to the Mom. Help her to understand why she needs to be honest with her Mom. The possible dangers to her.
Possible risks for you. You could be complicit with child endangerment. Laws are tricky for that.

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Tell her mum, what you believe to be “dumb” reasons for grounding her you probably don’t know the whole story, as you say if something happens and her mum comes to yours, you will then feel incredibly guilty that you didn’t tell her when you had the chance, you would want to know if that was your child x

Unpopular opinion but I personally wouldn’t tell her. Instead invite the other girl to your house as well so she can spend time w both her and your daughter. I constantly lied about where I was and who I was with as a teen, being caught only made me better at lying and finding people to cover for me. She isn’t going to stop, she will just get better at lying.

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There’s obviously a good reason why this girl is grounded all the time. Even if it seems stupid to you, those rules are set by her parents. Absolutely tell them. I don’t think it counts as snitching when the girl is deliberately disobeying her parents which could result in something horrible happening to her.

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oh no . i would have to have that conversation with the mother. god forbid somethin major happens .

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Well, if it were your child lying about where she was, would you want to know? If the answer is yes, then tell her. This child is actively making choices, there’s no reason she can’t deal with the consequences of said poor choices. That’s on her.

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Maybe this is why she gets grounded so much, I definitely wouldnt lie for this child and would be highly upset if someone lied to me about my child, but I would have a talk with the child and let her know your not going to lie for her and if she continues to say shes at your house when she isn’t you’ll have no choice but to tell her mother the truth

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Do you really want to open that can of worms honey :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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If she is lying about some things, how do you know she’s being grounded for “dumb” things?

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Tell the mom. Mom can go do a surprise visit at the place she’s not supposed to be. Kid will be caught red-handed. If you tell the kid instead of the mom, she will just start using another friend’s house as a cover…it needs to stop so start with the parent, not the kid. The world is too dangerous. Parents need to know where their kids are at. It’s not being nosey, it’s being responsible.

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Just tell the mom and just tell her "Susie (your daughter) told you that Julie has been telling her mom that she’s staying at your house. You don’t know if it’s true or not but just to safe you thought she should know.

Put yourself in her moms shoes… if that was your daughter lying would you want to know?

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If your daughters friend trusts you enough to use you as her cover up, you should absolutely talk with her first. Get to open up and then you lay it out, the risks, the consequences, etc. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and sometime more mature then we’ll choose to believe…

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I would absolutely talk to her mom & set up conversation for the future to authenticate sleepovers at my house. No no little girl, you aren’t using my name to hide your shenanigans. If something happened to her, I would feel terrible. I hope & pray other moms will come telling me about my children if they are lying to me.

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You don’t know the reasons she gets grounded … especially considering that she is currently sneaking around? I would simply mention that so-and-so hasn’t been staying at your home the next time you’re around them and their daughter or maybe even give them a call

In my opinion you have an obligation to tell
The parents. You are not their friend. As a parent I would be livid if I found out you knew my child was lying to me.

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That’s moms responsibility to confirm who house her childs at, meaning you all should be communicating. I would tell her this one time and the next time she’s on her own. Good luck

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Maybe confront the child, not her mother.
Tell her that you know that she’s using your home as a cover to go other places.
Tell her why it concerns you.
She probably lies a lot if she’s always in trouble to stay out of trouble and it sounds like she’s got a helicopter parent who doesn’t trust her- and this is the result.
Maybe let the girls have friends over in the yard or sleepovers or whatever if you’re ok with that - so you don’t feel guilty and she can see other friends in your supervision. :gift_heart:

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I’m usually all for keeping your mouth shut but if she’s saying she’s at yours then I would tell her mum x

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Put yourself in her shoes… wouldn’t you want to know where your child was. Her parents set rules and if she breaks them then that’s on her. The way they parent isn’t your business or the reasons why she’s grounded. Obviously she’s grounded for good enough reasons since she’s lying to her parents about where she is

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Maybe sit and talk with the girl about why she lies and or why she’s always grounded… might be a deeper issue at hand. If ur willing maybe give that girl your phone number and to let her know she’s always welcome at ur house.

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Gee I wonder why she gets grounded… I’d tell her. This girl can end up pregnant or worse, raped or killed. Tell her.

Yes I would definitely talk to her mom and let her know. It is the child’s best interest and I wouldn’t want something to happen and the mom thinks she is at your house. They need to learn thier actions have consequences

Why not talk to the other friends mom get to know her then have a play date with all 3 of you and the girls. Then say you will throw a slumber party for all the girls. Everyone’s acquainted and she can now have another outside source for comfort.

I would tell the girl she is not to use your house in her lies anymore and if she does you will have to go to her Mother about it. And then follow through if she says she’s at your house when she is not. What would you do if something terrible hapoened to her at the other house…how would you explain that.

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Would you want a parent to tell you if it was your kid?

That’s your answer.

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Her parents probably ground her all the time to keep her safe I’d be furious at you for not telling me when she first started doing it

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I don’t consider it snitching I call it be a responsible adult if the girl doesn’t like it then she needs to stop lying to her mom and putting you in the middle of her lies

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Considering you said she’s always being grounded for"dumb stuff" how much do you really know of what she’s being grounded for. She could be lying to you as well. I’d definitely rat her out and let her mom know, it’s not about what she’s being grounded for, atleast her parents are trying to teach her right by showing some ground authority. If anything happened to my child and I was told they’re supposed to be at your house ,but they aren’t. I’m blaming you for anything that happens plus the child and the other parent for not saying something in the first place.

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YES TELL…you never know what is going on in that other house…Plus you are being used by a child…I raised 2 girls…Tell!!!

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Sounds dangerous for the child. Definitely say something but do it in front of the child. Like a meeting or go visit when you know she is home. Maybe plan a lunch or dinner. A get to know you type thing. But they need to talk it out. Even if you are the referee. There’s no relationship w/o communication. Teach them how.

They probably ground her because she lies about where she is

I would want to know if my child was lying or doing this.I would say something to her mom

Yes. What if something were to happen at the other friends house and the parents had no idea she was even there? You’d feel terrible for not having said something.

You don’t want to snitch that she’s at other places lmfao. Could she be doing more things she shouldn’t be considering shes lying about this lol. Maybe she’s playing victim.

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I would tell her. Wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something bad happened. You may think their rules are dumb, but that’s really not your business. Assuming that’s even accurate. If you’re getting your info from the kids, they’re probably lying lol.

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No I wouldn’t. U don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Sadly, It sounds like they’re overbearing parents. How old is this girl? Maybe talk to the girl, keep a line of communication open with her. Find out what’s really going on in her home.
No I’m not saying Lie to her mom. No. But don’t get involved until u have to.
U never know, you could end up being this girls saving grace, who knows what’s going on in her home.

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No. She’s got trouble at home. Don’t make it worse. They come looking for her… you tell the truth. Don’t make drama for the kid

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You are old enough to know that keeping a child out of a possibly dangerous situation is not snitching. Snitching is when you tell on someone for something that probably won’t cause them harm, just to be an ass or to gain benefits.

I would want to know if my daughter was doing that. Wouldn’t you?

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Tell the parents, god forbid they think she is at your house and god knows where she really is. If she has to lie about it, chances are she’s probably doing something troublesome. If it was your daughter, wouldn’t you want the other parents to be honest with you?

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Yes what if you have her life they would be thankful. You never know why their lying

mayby try see if she will tell u the truth were staying first cause be hiding from isusses at home and scared

Would u want her to tell you