Should I text the father of my child?

Last week I ask my baby father to pick up his stuff that he left at my house and he got mad at me and told me I’m sick person that he is done with me ect. That I don’t ever txt or call him at all. I change my phone number can I get in trouble for not providing him my new number even though he say not to call him or txt? We still haven’t gone to court he say he is not going to do it and if I do it he would take our baby from me. Can I email him instead and just tell him how our son is doing

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I text the father of my child?

if he doesn’t care, i wouldn’t put in any effort of letting him know :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Make sure you save all messages and record all calls.

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Don’t bother it’s a waste of time. I have a ten year old that hasn’t seen her father in five years. Your child will grow up better off not knowing the parent that didn’t want it.

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Dont speak to him. Take him to court. Don’t let this man threaten you. Let the courts handle the situation.

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Email is totally fine and as long as you have proof of trying to contact him to see your child and he dosen’t respond, if you ever go to court you have proof that you tried to reach out and he never responded.

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My opinion is that you both probably need to do some healing from the failed relationship but at some point you both need to put your personal feelings aside that you may have for one another and work on how you can have a healthy co-parenting relationship for the sake of the child. It takes time though, it won’t happen overnight

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To protect yourself get your stuff in order and file first! And file for full custody

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I’d email, just tell him if he wants to reach you he can do it that way. Otherwise let him be the one to reach out. It isn’t your responsibility to do it. If he doesn’t care that’s on him. And take him to court, don’t let him threaten you.

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File for primary custody. Don’t let him have the baby outside your home until it’s filed. Unless he has good reasons he can’t take your child from you. Protect yourself by filing first

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As long as the two of you have some way of communicating, you’ll be fine. Email, social media messaging, etc. If he blocks you on any platform that is on him. You are also no required to give updates unless he asks or something major happens.

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It is none of his business how the child is doing— he doesn’t care. Move on with legal action- and just get on your lives

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I’m confused by the scenario but know enough to say hell no, don’t contact

No!!! File for full custody right now if he has signed the birth certificate.

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I’d message to show in court that you are and have done right by him and your son, if he comes back nasty ignore it but you stay civil and don’t argue back. Keep all the messages for any proof the courts or lawyers may need in the future.

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Take him to court for child support. He’s idle threatening you. Don’t let him intimidate you.

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Take him to court he’s just trying to get under your skin

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File for custody first. Unless he can prove you are a bad mother, don’t sweat it.

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Emails are good, as you can send updates and photos without having to talk… Just remember to keep it nice as they can also be used in court.

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Drop his crap of at family/friends who ever wont destroy it and keep safe. As for child email him suitable time/date for access to see baby in public place. If he dosnt respond after 3rd email. Sod it let him take you to court. Keep all evidence txt etc.

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If he’s saying not to call or text him why would you even think you should email him? :woman_facepalming:t4: That makes zero sense.

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Do you have a record of this conversation? Keep your evidence.

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File for full custody and id only communicate through email or a texting app number

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l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18899 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://amazingincome656.pages.dev/

You go to court and file for custody of your baby so you can establish custody. Phone contact isn’t always issued by the court but he could get visits. But as long as you have a court order in place before visits it helps you ba able to get kid back in case he tries not to return the kid.

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First thing you do is file for primary custody …get yourself to that courthouse and get it done
After that you can file for child support
Dont text him because he told you not too and keep proof of your texts with him
If you choose to email him just do it once a month with a little update
Good luck sweetie

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Sounds to me you are both being very petty and childish. You both need to put your baby first and learn how to co-parent in a healthy way. Changing your number, and threatening each other with court is foul.
My kids father and I broke up after we had our second son. Very toxic and abusive relationship. And before people come at me… I stayed and tried to make it work for the sake of my kids.
But when we broke up we both put in an effort to try and parent separately and together. We put our childish behavior and feelings aside for our kids. It takes you both communicating to resolve the issue.

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Talk to an attorney. The initial consultation is usually free.

It’s not your place to let him know how the baby is doing unless he is asking. And from the sounds of it he isn’t he just expects you to reach out first. Also in most states the father has no rights if yall weren’t married or gone to court for custody. Idk what state you are in though so idk how it is there.

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If he doesn’t care enough to contact you or ask on his own. Leave him be! Not your job

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As long as there’s a civil form of communication I thank you are alright

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Don’t let him have the child until you have something in place through court.

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l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18899 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://amazingincome685.pages.dev/

Do you know how time consuming changing your number is? Yeah not worth it.

Go to court get child support…he can’t take your baby

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Time to get real. Just don’t do it. Let him be. Wait til court date . The end

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Make sure you take the proof of what he is saying, first of all. Don’t contact him at all. Let him screw up by himself. If he doesn’t wanna be in your child’s life, let him be a deadbeat. All because you asked if he wanted his stuff. Let the courts know all of this information

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go to court & get custody of your baby, because if you don’t, he can take the baby, since he is the father, By you having custody of the baby, if he tries to do this he will be charged with kidnapping, And he doesn’t have to show up, as long as it is a court order, you are good

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You need to talk to an attorney. Usually the first consultation is free. Tell the attorney what is going on. Tell him you want full custody. Did the father sign the birth certificate? If not, I’m not sure he has any rights to the baby at this point. Don’t try to contact the father again. He’s obviously too bitter at this point to mess with. Don’t worry about his stuff. If it was that important he would have taken it with him when he left. I would just store it somewhere for now. Let the attorney advise you how to proceed from this point. If the father did sign the birth certificate, I’d imagine you will have to go to court for custody and child support. For the father to take the baby from you, he would have to prove that you are unfit or a danger to the baby. I’m sure that won’t happen. Just hang in there and bond with your little one. I know it’s hard when you have a bitter ex to deal with, but times will get better.

Emailing him is fine cause it keeps a trail of your communication. Also file something in court too

He can’t just come and take the child just because you’re trying to get some sort of child support from him!
Document everything he says and does and you will have proof!

You need to get custody of your child and unless your unfit he can’t take baby from you

Or both of you grow up and do what I best for the kid :woman_shrugging:t2:

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A few questions:
Is he on the birth certificate?
Is there a parenting plan place?
Is he the presumed father? (Are you get child support, government assistance, state medical & you gave them his name as the father)
Is there a legal reason why he could take the child?

If you answered No to these questions: You have the right to change your number without provide him with the new number. You don’t have to or need to provide him with updates on your child. It is not your responsibility to try to make him be in your child’s life. No, you don’t have to have his permission to do anything.

However if you answered yes to these questions: get to the court & file for physical & legal custody. Print & submit the text, emails, social media messages.

I would be the bigger person contact him one last time. Be professional about it & keep your emotions out of it! You can not make hime be a dad! You can not make him be apart of your childs life! Let him know, since you stated you don’t want me to continue to contact you & I have changed my number. You can contact me this way. (Via Facebook messages or email but always in writing). If you want to know what is going on with (insert child’s name) just ask. I asked you to come get your belongings from my house on X day (input the day you asked him), legally I have to keep them for X days (check with your county & state it could be different where you live) if you do not, I will dispose of them.

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There are no laws stating that you have to give him contact info. You don’t have a court order saying you have to. So no you can’t get into trouble. You’re not breaking any laws. I’d wait for him to file for rights. If it comes up tell them he’s been emotionally abusive (saying mean things, gaslighting etc) & told you he doesn’t want contact. Then ask that your info be kept confidential. They’ll order you to have some form of contact. That can be a TextNow number that you set up just for him or Facebook etc. The judge had us do Facebook so behaviors could be observed & documented.

My ex husband hasn’t had my number in three years. I use FB messenger (do not have to have him as a friend) he can video or call our child twice a week.

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Don’t tell him anything

He wont win. U do not have to give him your #. If he shows up he shows up. Pack his crap and keep it outside for him. You wont get in trouble at all.

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Go to court ~ get your child support. He can’t take that baby without justification

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  1. You can change your number
  2. He can’t take the baby away without reason once there is a court order
  3. Get a custody agreement done up asap
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Look just take him to court. Keep proof of all conversation and texts or emails

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He can’t take your baby from you. But keep the proof that says he will try. The court won’t like that.

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Bring how dumbass to court :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

If you don’t have an order you aren’t required, but I wouldn’t take those threats lightly. Mine actually filed and won.

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Yes email is perfect that way there is a trail.

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Go get custody of your kid. Before he does.

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Tell him why, is he asking ? Doesn’t sound like he is . don’t go out of your way.

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Man I wouldn’t, he doesn’t care

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He can’t just randomly take your baby away from you. Go to court, petition for sole custody. Use his lack of interest in your child as grounds for why the child should have their needs met by you and not him. Get court-ordered child support. Even if he never pays, at least you have legally done what you can for your child.

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Don’t email him or try to contact him wait till court document everything

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You dont have am court order so you don’t need to give him your contact info. That being said court.

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Why?

He’s told you how many times to not call\text him? Why keep pushing it.

I wouldn’t worry about his threats. Every bead-beat uses the excuse that if the baby mom takes them to court for custody/visitation, they will take the child from the mother.

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Why keep using baby as a pawn???

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Go get custody if he doesn’t want you contacting him assuming he doesn’t see the kid either, so go to court. Men try to threaten and scare you out of going the legal route because they don’t want to be
Held responsible through the legal system because they can’t manipulate that as well as they can manipulate you.

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I would just let it go till you go to court and get it settled in court

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Please be careful because if he’s on the birth certificate, he doesn’t have to give you the child back until custody arrangements have been made in court.

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Let me tell you this I have 2 kids with my ex, he has nothing to do with my kids and I contacted his everyday for 4 years for him to see his kids, when I finally stopped he had nothing to do with them, dont text its not your responsibility! They will do what they want and it will show you the path to take.

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You shouldn’t contact him except to give him 1 way to contact you. Unless he is a safety issue for the child then he should have access to them and not just updates

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There is a parenting app you can get to communicate about your child only. And take him to court for custody. Asap. He won’t be able to ‘take’ your child from you unless you are unfit. He’s just threatening you. Get something in writing bc I didn’t and my child’s father took her for a weekend and never gave her back and it took 4 months for me to get her back bc we had to go through the court.

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My ex doesn’t have my real number. We essentially have burner phones because of his verbal abuse. Email is perfectly fine because he can still contact you. Good for you for taking steps to be ok.

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HE can not take YOUR child from you.

And YOU cannot take HIS child from him.

Assuming both parents are equally fit, a parent is a parent, regardless of gender, and has equal rights to custody and visitation.

A mother does not have more of a right than a father.

And vice versa.

Assuming both parents are equally fit, they have EQUAL rights.

If he is the father he has every right to 50/50 custody or liberal visitation.

If he is smart he will ask for a DNA test to prove the child is his. Personally, I think every child should be DNA tested at birth.

Be very careful about keeping the child away from its father, unless you have DOCUMENTED proof of being unfit.

The Courts frown on parents who use the child as a pawn.

You should offer visitation. It will look better for you to appear fair and willing to foster a relationship between parent and child.

You can arrange pick and delivery of the child at neutral location if you wish.

Unless there is documented proof of any abuse or lack of fitness most Courts, typically, agree that the non-custodial parent has the right to know where their child lives.

Tread lightly lightly.

If you have even the appearance of trying to keep the child away from the other parent or inflating and/or manufacturing unfitness or abuse in order to gain custody or limit visitation, it could backfire badly.

I’ve seen Courts transfer custody based on a parent who makes it difficult for the other parent to exercise his or her visitation.

Try to work out civil co-parenting plan.

You are BOTH the parents.

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Grow up. Apparently either one of you love your child enough to put your differences aside… Think about that

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Girl stay away from that man. Don’t bother texting him until court.

It isn’t up to him to simply “take the baby away from you”. The court decides on that and whether one gets full custody or shared custody or one simply gets visitation rights. If he send threatening texts or letters, screen shot them and bring those and the letters to court.

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Well he can’t just take your baby from you. It’s a scare tactic. My ex husband told me that too! You know what? I have FULL custody! He doesn’t even have visitation AND he’s court ordered to pay $225 a month in CS. Not that he has ever paid but that’s on him. I say this to say don’t be scared of him! He should be paying CS! It is his responsibility too to take care of his kid. Go file for full custody and child support. Now there is a chance he could get visitation. Mine didn’t due to drug use and DV.

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Did he test that tirade? Keep all his texts. Seems unstable and easily provoked

child support with parent plan

I used to only email my kids father at one point of time when it was an extremely toxic co-parenting relationship. (It’s better now, and we no longer do that and have a custody agreement). As long as you have some form of communication with him for your child and he’s able to check it or receiving it I don’t see an issue with it. Just make sure he actually checks his email though and will use it. You won’t get into trouble for changing your phone number however you still have to keep the contact with him at least for the kid y’all share. & Also, he can’t just take your kid from you unless you give the kid to him. He’d literally have to prove you unfit to even get full custody, most of the time it’s time-shared. Go to mediation if you have to (it’s outside of court) that’s what I done and y’all can come to an agreement.

Burn his crap…then go to court for full physical custody an child support. Good luck…

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You need to go to court though, because otherwise he can just up and take the baby at any given moment. Don’t let him scare you and control you. Don’t give him your phone number, have all contact go through email. When you do have to speak to him always speak to him like a judge is watching.

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l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18734 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://amazingincome753.pages.dev/

Call a Lawyer, The courts can contact him. You don’t have to.

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After so long it’s abandoned property. And you can do what you want. That’s fine as far as him I would just not respond ever and let him fade away. Keep everything that you send to each other though 

Just keep the text. He knows where to find you if he wants to see the child

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l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18734 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

M0re Info. https://amazingincome771.pages.dev/

I left my ex after 16 years and when I left he told me he didn’t wanna see the kids or hear from me and the kids were not his which they were his
But I texted him when I moved and any time I changed my number and I texted his wife at the time . We we’re good friends . She had nothing to do with me leaving him but she was and still is a good step mom even though they are no longer together
My kids never wanted to see him and never asked about him and then all the sudden like 4 years ago he wanted to see them with my youngest being 29 now I left when he was 12 years old

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u may of changed your phone number ,but u didn’t change your address - if the father of your son wants to see him- he does know where to find u-not only that - but what i would do is on the days u do talk to to him on phone some how record the convertasion and this way if he says any thing like threatening to take child from u - u have proof of what he had said ! i would also move on with my life , maybe even get an new apt. buy yourself a second phone and that phone u keep to yourself but the first phone that would be the one i’d call him on since he already knows the number ! i’d be strong and foloow your heart

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I would only email your new contact info. It is his responsibility to ask how his kid is. His threats about court are lame though and I recommend going through with any custody or child support no matter what he says. He’s not taking the child when he isn’t even around in the first place

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Get a lawyer!! FILE FOR CUSTODY FIRST!!! (Before he does!!!) A lawyer will tell you what you can and cannot do according to laws of your state. And yes,it varies by state.

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If he doesn’t ask don’t contact him. Go to court for custody.

No. It’s an open ballgame if there is no court order at all. You need to get a lawyer, now.

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Check local laws, but in most states after 90 days you can throw it out. My reccomendation would be if he’s left it already past 90 days tell him that he has a week to get it or you’re donating it as it’s abandoned property. Get a receipt from the donation center when you donate it. Also, he can’t just “take your child”. It doesn’t work that way. Contact child support enforcement and get an order for him to start paying, and as soon as you can afford to do so, take him to court for full custody. That’s a frequent threat from abusers, but more often than not, they want 0 responsibility or custody time.

U need to establish custody and child support for the child if not its going to be a whole :circus_tent:

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Did he sign the birth certificate? If he didnt, I’d move and change everything and forget him. If he suddenly finds you and takes you to court I’d tell the judge the guy threatened you and your child and demanded you not contact again, so you were afraid to. It’s the truth and who can blame you?

Email is always best.

save the messages he sent you about this and get good references and take his ass to court. He is just doing this to avoid child support.

Once you go to court and set custody off he takes the baby he can legally get in trouble. He sounds very immature. I would talk to your lawyer before changing your number.

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Definitely go to court. Don’t let him bully you. Ask your lawyer to make your communication on record to go through a site called Talking Parents. Technically he only needs to have access to you for communication, but doesn’t have to be through text. You do not have to communicate anything to him about your child. You are not obligated to reach out to him or inform him of anything. If you currently have no order in place and you are not together, he technically has no rights to your child. Get a calendar and use it as a diary to write down everything he says or does in enough detail to remember if asked about in court. Record the interactions starting with whatever the earliest thing is you remember from the time you were together and split up and up until this current event. Not sure what state you’re in, but you should be able to apply for child support online to get things moving. You don’t necessarily need a lawyer unless he wants to fight for custody or if you are wanting some specific requests or wording outlined in the custody agreement as opposed to your State’s standard custody orders.

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I would send a certified letter to him letting him know he can see his child on a schedule and give him the schedule and times and I will keep your items for 30 days after that they will be put outdoors for trash pick up. Take a photo copy of certified letter and for you to receive a receipt showing he signed for it, if he try to carry you to court