Should I trust him?

I didn’t trust my instincts …we havr been together 16 years but year 13 14 amd 15 .he had an affair and a maybe baby resulting…
We Had Sex Every Single Day!!!
He spent 20 hrs a week transporting her to work with him so he could sleep next to her there
Until the very second I discovered she existed I would have thought it more likely that diamonds would fall from the sky… She got diamonds but me after giving him two children and over 10 years didnt…she met his father was picking out colors for a hime I been designing for a decade it goes on and in…
Don’t wait to confront him!!
If he’s hiding the phone or denying you access there is always always a reason…

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I dated a guy once who was very secretive with his phone but would “reassure” me that I was the only one for him…I was with him for a year and a half and found out he was married and he had given me a false name…listen to your gut

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You should trust your gut feeling. It seems like you are good at giving him privacy and space. Honestly, he shouldn’t even have that APP being in a relationship. There legit is no excuse.

Talk to him about how you’re feeling without assuming anything. THEN, closely observe how he acts and responds. You can tell alot by your observation of HIM in these situations. If you have a relationship that you BOTH cannot feel safe to express yourselves and/or feel like your walking on egg shells constantly, it’s not healthy and only gets worse. You need to decide if that’s how you want to continue feeling. If not, move on…

From personal experience, as a (seeming) feminine being, your intuition is likely cueing you in. I read once that one of the gifts of the feminine is the Oracle heart… we can see beyond the obvious. Lean in, feel it out and talk with him and see how his response makes you feel as well. Only you’ll know whether to trust him. But don’t waste your time if you don’t trust him (personal experience :weary::roll_eyes:)

In the beginning my fiance was really into his privacy because HIS ex hurt him about many different things where he felt he had to be overly into his phone. We had many talks/arguments and he didn’t even realize that was the reason for it until many years into our relationship.

A man usually knows several months in, if they want to be in a committed relationship.
If you’re having problems 10 months in, he’s probably not the best person for you.
Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. So sorry :pleading_face:.

When your committed you both should be transparent. If not cause trust issues. In my case it was cheating…if total honesty is there no reason to be so secret about things.

Geez-go with ur instinct! Strangers can’t help you with your instinct!! Is the secretive lifestyle/attitude worth the stress? What if u stayed together and had children? Follow your natural instinct!

My ex - boyfriend of 4/5 years. Everyone used to say “you’ll be together forever”, he’d always put his phone, screen down. He just didn’t share much on his phone at all.

He did the same though - started getting much more secretive. Wouldn’t lift his phone when he was around me. It was awful. I remember feeling so insecure because I’d be like “what about me?” “Am I not enough?” He was cheating on me.

I would just say, if your worrying just ask him. I truly believe you’d get a vibe off him if he wasn’t telling the truth. Xx

Act like a suspect, get treated like a suspect. If there’s nothing to hide He wouldn’t be literally hiding things. Gotta open up communication bc there may be reasons…but even if there are none, you need it.

Ask him to give you his phone to go through it, if he doesn’t have anything to hide he’d do it, sounds shady af and that’s how I’ve caught most of my exs cheating

Been there. Trust your instincts, because they are usually right. I bet he is getting defensive over his phone too when you ask about it.

I think anyone who hides their phones from their gf or bf, is more than likely hiding something. Maybe not always but I’d be suspicious. If my husband hid his, I be all over that.
We don’t hide our phones, or what we do on them. But we also do not go thru each other’s phones, no reason to.

You will never find the answer to the question, “what’s wrong with me?” because there is no answer to it. There is nothing wrong. The question you need to ask yourself instead is, “How do I learn to love myself?” Then you will find answers.

First think if he treats you different and doing things differently. Is he distant? Is he not answering his phone when you call? Then ask him why. And tell him you’ve been uncomfortable with the way he’s been acting. It’s probably your insecurity. I’m on my phone a lot I wouldn’t go through his phone and I told my man I won’t stand for it either. People have a right to privacy and a life beyond you. But, I don’t hide my texting I tell him who texted if he asks and stuff cause it’s not a secret. And we also hand each other our phones to look at pics or to read something or to look something up. It’s not like I’m worried or he’s worried one of us is going to find something. I just don’t agree with sneaking around and going through peoples things. Just ask him what’s going on.

Some people are good with surface level and having their needs met. They do not think oh maybe I should actually let this person into my life. It’s been ten months and they still have a wall up. Are your needs being met?

If he cheats it IS NOT you’re fault! Once a cheater always a cheater. Some men just want something new it’s never about you giving it to him or not, a good man will never make you question that or make you feel like it is you’re fault

Just flat out ask him why beat around the bush and ask a bunch of strangers make him explain it either it is nothing bad or you find out and move on

When you date someone its to find out if maybe there is a future with them. Thus is tge time you get to know the good and the bad about each other. No one is perfect. So you have to try and find someone that whatever defects they might have is something your willing to live with and forgive over and over forever. If you find it hard to trust right now then realize it’s not ok with you and that it can become a very big issue. Trust, communication, are very important in a relationship. If your already feel insecure I would really think about maybe telling him how you feel about it. Depending on how you feel after don’t try to manipulate yourself about your own gut feeling and do what is right for you now.

I feel that one of the most fundamental elements in a relationship is “Trust”. Dating is a time to become acquainted with each other, a time to learn of each of your values, your past, your likes/dislikes, and to enjoy each other’s company. As we find compatibility in each other ( based on common interests and desires in life) we gradually integrate our new relationship into our lives…. Our friends ( if not already), our family, and if children are involved … we start involving them also…. These sharing moments should be happening in both sides…. You meet his family, and he meets yours. These are all just basic friendship, dating fundamentals….And I feel that all of this should come BEFORE getting physical. In your case, Your 10 month guy, seems to be all kinds of fun, but doesn’t seem invested. He seems to have a whole other life on the side… whether it’s his father, or another woman… because he is not forthright, because he is not equally ( to you) not sharing…. He is showing that he is not invested in you, and ‘us’ with you. Already you are questioning his trust…. The very fundamental building block for a relationship? How can this be good?

I would suggest that you address his secretiveness with him… put a timer on it … and then either the secretiveness will become a known, and your relationship will grow deeper and he invest, or you will each move on.

Since you are not married, it’s none of your business. Read that line again. Now get his things together, put them in a box. Call a locksmith and change the locks. Once the locks are changed, put the box outside your door with a two word note - Get Lost. He’s doing something that isn’t kosher and he’s hiding behind you.

If you want to be hurt, just keep staying with this man. At least you won’t need a divorce.

Either you trust him or you don’t. And doesn’t sound like you do

You don’t even trust yourself. This ain’t a problem for us to help you with.

RED FLAG!!! Secrets don’t belong in a relationship. Either talk it out or get out.

Only 10 months & you live together? Awfully fast. Maybe he feels pressured.

Never doubt your gut feeling. NEVER!

I know someone like this just out of the blue got new phones but it one has the finger prints or the code. He knows mind but I don’t know his but joke on him already know and you know too

From day 1 I had all my now husbands passwords he has never hidden anything from me. That’s how it should be

So if you live with him and sleep with him EVERY night where does he have time to cheat?

Lot of men get into the porn and lead double life

Women’s intuition… anyway… he may be getting complacent… ya… the hiding is not a trust building exercise n hell…ur sleepin’ w/ him! May b nuthin’ ceptin just needs more privacy or may b sumthin’ in any event… he’s givin’ ya cause to worry! (not nuthin)

Bunch of Red Flags , dump him !!

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Idc what anyone says under my comment so please go ahead and make ur own comments thank you! But from past and present experience, just leave or deal with it. People aren’t gonna change unless they want to. People aren’t gonna stay unless they want to. Until we find someone who wants us just as bad as we want them and have a little faith in the relationship, it’s not gonna happen. Before, during and after I got pregnant this is what I dealt with and still do but I do catch him. I just stay bc we have a child together. I love him but he doesn’t love me and he’s already said it. There’s no leaving bc it’s my apartment and I have nothing or nobody to help but his people. Don’t get too deep into something you can’t get out of that’s all. If he wasn’t cheating or doing something he shouldn’t, he wouldn’t be hiding it from anyone or keeping anything a secret :woman_shrugging:t4:

Any secretive person s always have something to hide

No good. Sounds all too familiar. Get rid of him.

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Find somebody you trust

What’s so hard about talking about it. 1/2 of all marriages fail because people don’t communicate. Ask him to see his phone- if he’s says no, you know what’s up. Is it a deal breaker?

Privacy exists for everybody. Even the person ur dating. Get a fucking grip on urself lol

nobody can tell you what YOU already know!

Phone secrecy like that in my past experiences was Red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:

My guess…he’s a drug dealer🤨

If you are suspicious there’s a reason. Follow your gut.

Run as fast as you can he’s an idiot

Anyone who is secretive with there phone while with you is up to no good :man_shrugging:t4:… Just my 2 cents

When you know for sure he’s cheating then say something then. He might not be cheating.

What did he say when you asked him?

Chris Hardy Sounds to me like you are accusing people right now. very confrontational

Did it ever occur to you that YOU might be the other woman?

Follow your intuition.

No dont trust, whats app is for cheaters

Sounds like a :ring: may be around the corner

Run. Don’t walk away…Run!

if you have to ask- you already know the answer ~

Trust your gut - something is “off”. The only way to find out what it is, is to talk to him. People can be secretive for many reasons - surprises, a sense of responsibility/duty. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Men are gonna cheat no matter how good they have it at home, if that’s what he wants to do. Nothing is wrong with you.
It’s simple, is you can’t trust him then break up.

I wonder when she talks to her friends on her phone if he asks her who she is talking to and what she is doing. Everyone has their group of friends. I don’t ask my wife who she is talking to. My group of friends share pics and jokes with each other and she doesn’t ask nor care. Seems to me that she is wanting to be just nosey

My ex was like this, never felt like he was being on the up and up. I found out he was talking to other women on messenger. I saw a lot of messages. We were fighting a lot. He denied it every time I would confront him about why he wouldn’t put his relationship status on his Facebook page. None of the women knew he had me in his life for a long time. If they being sneaky, their cheating… don’t be fooled. Get out and don’t waste your time.

If there is no trust it’s not great. Get out while you can.

Be sweet and surprise him at the gym with a Gatorade :woman_shrugging:

Ummm idk maybe ask him

If you are thinking it there is a better than even chance he is doing it.

Very thin line between “secretive” & “nosy/intrusive af”. We all need to check our insecurities & worst case scenarios at the door. That is a YOU problem not your significant others. We all go straight to the blame game & automatically see someone as guilty.

Been married almost 56 years. After they drafted me I was asked Who gave you permission? If you have any questions ask me. I could be a male Dear Abby… Been there Done that…

Players only love you when they’re playing

Quit going to bed with him. You don’t know this person. Go get help to love yourself.

Your gut is telling you something. Listen to it.

Whats app is where all the scamming females wanna talk. So I’d check ur bank account because he may be a cheating idiot lol paying scammers