Should my childs father have everything he needs for our kids when they visit?

Should a father already have the things needed for his kids when they go to visit? He always needs things like food, car seats, electronics, clothes, etc. also, I’ve told them to take care of their lice problem the last few times they went over there, and my kids would come back with bugs and impetigo. Should I get a welfare check when they go over? I also made videos to show we don’t have bugs or head lice in my household. My children’s father’s old lady tried to blame me for having them before sending them there SMH. I told her they would need their own car seats next time, and she says she can get some or has some. this is my last chance, or they won’t be going back. Should I call someone? I tried reaching out for supervision visits, but I’m in the process. I feel bad for keeping them away because of this problem!

88 Likes

Yes, he should always be ready

Been in this situation (my oldest), bugs…food…clothes etc. Nobody cared, not even CPS (I DIDN’T call). It’s a very long road and a difficult one. My prayers are with you.

Personally, I think you should have a family member and yourself request to go see the place there staying to make sure they’re in a clean situation. You as a mama should never let your gut feeling go. Do what you think is best and maybe suggest park visits until you can feel at ease or until arrangements can be made to see there living situation!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should my childs father have everything he needs for our kids when they visit?

Talk with your attorney and take action now.

11 Likes

Hell no. He needs his own stuff for kids… and if lice is an issue document these things before and after.

9 Likes

My ex didn’t have stuff for my boys. I got tired of sending stuff so I called cps. I even had to send food!!! They told me “that’s what child support is for”. Yep. I was forced to send everything they needed, even food. This was in Georgia.

As for lice, kids can get it at school or anywhere. My kid got it from summer camp and again off the school bus.

3 Likes

Do you have a guardian ad litem you could notify? I think yes, he should have food, clothes, car seats, etc. If you’re giving him the seats, you don’t know how he or his family are handling them to know if there is damage of any kind. If you don’t have a GAL then I would notify either your attorney or CPS of your concerns.

4 Likes

Had a friend who had a similar experience and her attorney and the judge basically said the same as the comment above. “That’s what child support is for”…

We’re in Texas

1 Like

If he can’t supply basic needs for his children then he doesn’t deserve visitation until he can provide for them.

9 Likes

Im in indiana and was told by my lawyer I had to proved any and everything for my ex when he came and picked up the baby including pack n play, food, clothes and all… And that’s even with me having full custody and him just having visitation

Lice? I’d not be sending them or their belongings. And I would contact my attorney to see the proper way to address it.

4 Likes

Do I think he should have all thos stuff, absolutely!! But if he doesn’t, just send it so you know your babies have what they need. On the clothes, we always took clothes to my dad’s with us but he bought a lot of our clothes and would send them back to mom’s with us so we would have nice clothes for school/summer vaca

6 Likes

Think of the children.

1 Like

The kids should have EVERY THING that they would need when visiting each parent.

1 Like

Yes get a welfare check and document everytime the come back with.
Not treating it is like not providing medical care. Espically im infetigo!
Here in Ok each parent has to provide everything at their residence for the kids.

5 Likes

If he’s paying child support and has minimal days with them…
I would expect him to be able to feed them when they come but I’d see no problem swapping car seats and them bringing clothes, their personal electronics. They don’t need two sets.
The bugs is a no go though. Both houses the kids stay in need to be treated and followed up for a while. Team effort or they’ll just keep popping back up.

23 Likes

In our custody order with my stepdaughter it states in the order that each party shall have all the Necessities for the child while in their care.

6 Likes

Document and talk to your lawyer.

3 Likes

Don’t ever feel bad for doing what you think is best for your kids.

4 Likes

When my kids go to their dads, they take nothing. I never have. He’s a parent too so why should you have to send stuff. He should have his own.

9 Likes

He should have his own stuff. My had to put my foot down on my ex husband and told him that they’re his responsibility too and he should provide while they’re there. That includes diapers, wipes, sippy cups, food, car seats and etc.

3 Likes

He needs his own stuff. And honestly should be helping you with clothes and shoes

7 Likes

I would not share carseats with someone who has head lice in their home. Nor would I share my children. However, if the home were clean and bug free—I would NOT make my ex buy new carseats just for his use. Carseats come with the person who has the kid for the day, weekend, whatever. Clothing also goes with the kids—and comes back. Your ex should have food at home. If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t be sending my kids there. It’s not too much to ask a man to be a responsible adult if he wants visitation

2 Likes

Lol do whats best for your kids

Yes he should have everything. I was there myself providing everything and then my Attorney said stop doing it and if he comes without carseats then he forfeits his visit that weekend bcuz its his responsibility to provide while they was in his care. After i stopped bending over backwards my ex stopped using his visits bcuz he didnt want to have to provide for them while in his care.

2 Likes

yes. it is each parent’s responsibility for providing the needs of the child

2 Likes

Their well being comes first

3 Likes

These things belong to the children. They are for children to use wherever they are.

7 Likes

Dad should have own carseats for the kids. When me & my brother went to my dads we used to bring a bag of clothes for the weekend an bring the dirty clothes back home sunday. My dad also bought us clothes but we could bring to moms also. Electronics well if u wanna send em so the kids have em just make sure kids bring them back with them an that nothing happens to them. Dad should have the necessities like soaps shampoo things like that for the kids at his home. The lice issue uhhh yeah id not send them back untill they handle that issue an even speak to ur laywer if u have one about why ur with holding the kids untill lice issues are resolved. Keep everything documented.

2 Likes

My daughter is 4 n I have always sent whatever she needs clothes if he needs food for her I’ll send it. I send her iPod if she wants to take it. I help in anyway I can cause that’s my daughter also he buys her stuff she needs and will give it to me if I need it. We don’t say oh I bought this so it can’t go cause at the end of the day it’s my daughters not ours.

11 Likes

I share things with my child’s father and it drives me crazy at times. There are some things I made sure he got after relentlessly complaining :joy: like his own car seat, his own stroller, own diapers, wipes, food etc. we still share clothes and her tablet (which I’m not crazy to share the tablet anymore either… make sure if you share those you log out of accounts first. Learned that the hard way). I’m not crazy on sharing anything, but pick your battles. :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

Yes. He’s their father.

He should have food and clothes . Car seats aren’t even expensive he can buy some. Electronics ok I guess if he can’t afford a tablet I’d let them bring theirs to their dads if I trusted it would be ok there. If not then no. Lice oh hellll no.

5 Likes

My ex has own carseat for the kids but aside from that I send clothes, electronics ect.its the children’s items. They should have access to if they want them. He pays child support, not much but he pays. I buy what my kids need. I wouldn’t go as far as sending food, snacks, drinks ect bc when hes with them he should be feeding them but in situations where they would otherwise not be fed I would send just kid food.Hes pitched in on necessary items for the kid like shoes when I didnt have quite enough. If your kids are being neglected and or not having their medical issues tended to he dont need to have the children period.

1 Like

My kids dad n I share everything. I went n bought clothes for our girls n I send them n get them sent back n he went out n bought new shoes n clothes n he sends them n gets them back. I even let him barrow my car as he currently doesn’t have one so he could take the girls on a week vacation I was going on a vacation myself that same week so it wasn’t a big deal. I go grocery shopping for him yes he gives me the money for it but the point is is that parenting is about working together for ur children. If he simply doesn’t have the things u do for the kids it honestly shouldn’t be an issue as it’s the child’s belongings it shouldn’t matter whose house they are staying at if they need it they should have it. As for the lice yes that sucks I know it’s hard to get rid of but as one momma already said they can get it from anywhere. My suggestion to u is get a spray bottle n some tea tree oil put a few drops in the spray bottle mix with water n spray their hair before they go over there.

6 Likes

Call child services. And stop providing anything. If they’re not going to supply what the kids need and take care of them and have a safe environment for the kids… the kids don’t need to go over there at all.

He should have what they need and mine would not go back if they came home with lice and shit nope and I would do a welfare check

Car seats seats are a pain to move. Like I’ve had the one in my car, the one on my mom’s because she babysat. There is currently one in my boyfriend’s car. If an emergency came up, send it because you’re keeping the kiddo safe but he should have one

Each parent should be responsible their children and their children’s needs without depending on the other parents help when seperated or divorced.
I see a lot of people posting how they send their child with what their babies need. There’s been times where I send my son with things he needs as well.
But that’s what I do for my son.
That’s a luxury for the other parent.
If the other parent can’t be a parent because he/she is irresponsible and can’t get things like FOOD??
A CARSEAT???
Your child shouldn’t be going there!
Common now!

Yes, he should be providing everything they need for his parenting time. As for the lice, I don’t know what to tell you about that. Just treat them when they come home with it. Edit to add: if this is court ordered parenting time, keeping the kids from him during his time can get you into trouble for not allowing them to go. Be careful about that.

1 Like

How old are the kids? If they’re not in infant seats then yes, your ex needs his own. Also if you dont trust the clothes you send on them to come back then send play condition clothes on them that you’re not too attached to. Send a bottle of tea tree oil with them. As your ex and his spouse to put tea tree oil in all of their shampoo bottles. Parents and children. It will help with the bed bugs and preventing them in the future. I quit sending electronics when they kept getting broke. However, if he pays you a substantial amount in child support, then that could likely substantially also decrease the amount of money he has to care for the kids while in his care. I dont ask for child.support because I need to ensure my kids are well taken care of in a safe home regardless what parent’s home they’re at. If he’s struggling because he pays child support then it needs to reevaluated.

1 Like

Should have what’s needed especially food & a clean environment

2 Likes

If he is paying child support, then no. He shouldn’t have to buy extra clothing and carseats and items on top of child support. He has already contributed his half of financial support so that YOU can provide those things for the kids. However, he should be responsible for feeding them when they’re with him. The head lice thing requires co-parenting and communication. They need to be treated and then combed through and checked for nits and then retreated after 3 days and continue to comb out/check for nits every day for 2 weeks. Both households need to treat and clean their home thoroughly for lice.

7 Likes

First off he should WANT to get rid of lice before they went back as to not expose his children if hes not willing to than call services in some states you can lose custody if they get and keep lice, even if it wasnt your fault you can lose them in places like Oregon, but if he does once gone I dont see an issue with the seats going with them, if they have electronics they should go with the kids IF he takes care of them like you would. I think he should feed them on his own HOWEVER if they have required visits and he can’t or won’t provide the food that they’ll eat than I guess I would send what they need to make sure they ate. Mine would go a weekend w/o eating if they didnt have the foods they will eat

Impossible to say why they are getting lice. My grandson had it repeatedly. We finally tracked it to a organized play group he attended. They had shared helmets to ride the bikes and scooters. We started sending his own with him and washing his hair when he came home with lice shampoo. Notified the groups leader and they finally got a handle on it.

1 Like

I’d be damned if I sent my child somewhere and I felt they were not safe or were continuing to get lice etc!

Car seats & clothes I could see sharing if the kids are primarily with you. Definitely not food though unless they follow a special diet? And even then, he should be able to provide that and/or pay you for it! Not sure what it means by electronics … sounds like dad needs to get it together tho especially with the lice thing !

4 Likes

This is why co-parenting fails, me and my sons dad we have 2 car seats but if I know that they are gonna have him for a little extra time I give them my car seat so his dad and grandparents can each have one in case something happens, my son also has a tablet that my mom got him as a present for Christmas, we always send it back and fourth because it’s something my son enjoys having and I want him to have something to do when he has down time at his dads, there is also times that my sons dad has needed pull-ups or something for my son and I bought them without hesitation because people struggle, yeah he works but if my son needs something he’s gonna have it, and no I don’t ask for any child support because child support is for people who don’t want anything to do with their kids not for failed relationships but as far as the lice thing something definitely needs to be done

5 Likes

His parenting time he need to provided for their needs my ex has visits for a few hours a few days a week and he pays for everything on his time

2 Likes

People forget to de lice the vechiles they should arrive with nothing so less chance of it comming back arrives…in depth cleaning and treatments need to be done its a long process

1 Like

If he pays child support & honestly can’t afford some of the more expensive stuff, I would help out because I think that working together is best for the kids. THAT BEING SAID, that’s only IF he respected the things I sent & having bugs/lice is not appropriate. Also, food? I think that’s something that he should be providing unless you have an infant that you want fed specifically something like breast milk. (I did, I my case). Your things should come back in the way that you sent them, if not cleaner. You are going out of your way to accommodate for him by packing things up for him on your own time, which is money. He needs to know & respect your worth. It sounds like he is not doing any of this. You also have to do what is best for your children when considering the environment that you are sending them to. If he wants a relationship with them, he needs to get his living situation cleared up. He’s not just disrespecting you, he’s disrespecting your kids.

8 Likes

He SHOULD have his own things but providing my kids stuff instead wouldn’t stop me from sending them to their dads. But food is definitely something he should provide himself n y’all need to figure out the lice problem

3 Likes

I send clothes, food and anything my babies may need when they go with there father. We used to share car seats until I bought him his own. If you don’t wanna do it for him do it for your kids. As for the lice situation I’ve never had to deal with it yet. My son is about to start school so it’s just a waiting game…it happens. Why not help him get rid of them. I know it’s not always easy to do. Taking his kids away from him is not gonna help the situation. Especially if he’s a good father active in his childs life. Don’t take that away from him or the kids. Just help!

6 Likes

He should have everything they need at his house also. That’s lazy parenting. Keep documenting the lice, bug, and impetigo issues. Keep taking pictures. And YES. I would call in a welfare check while the kids are over there. If you haven’t been inside their house and they keep coming back with bugs, lice, and impetigo I’d be worried too. Especially with you having to send food? Clothes aren’t a big deal but then having their own clothes and own things at dads makes it feel more like a home and less like a visit. I wouldn’t be angry if I were you, I’d be sad. Sad that dad is unable to provide and adequate home life for the kids. Maybe send them some links to resources for help in your area?

3 Likes

Um bugs and impetigo??? Why aren’t you petitioning already. No child should be in that environment till its fixed!

3 Likes

So ur child has had lice without him treating it!!! So u need to treat the child and all the child items!!

1 Like

If YOU provide those things when you have them, HE should do the same!!! Not sure where you live, however some states allow kids to attend school WITH HEAD LICE THESE DAYS!!! :woman_facepalming: smh…so if your child of school age and attending make sure he’s not getting it from school! As for Food, IF ANY ONE FATHER OR NOT CANNOT FEED MY CHILD YOU CAN’T HAVE MY CHILD!!! And it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO PROVIDE CAR SEATS!! A loaner a time or two until he can get car seats, BUT NOT YOUR PLACE TO PROVIDE HIM WITH THINGS TO CARE FOR THE CHILDREN AT HIS HOME!!! I WOULD MAKE SURE OF THE ENVIRONMENT MY KIDS WERE GOING INTO AS WELL!!!

5 Likes

I would have a welfare check. Dame they must be nasty

3 Likes

Yes and if he doesn’t have it maybe you can help him with it :wink: parenting works better when you’re working together

6 Likes

I would send whatever would keep my kid safe, happy, and as close to how my house is. The lice thing is a tough one though. Hopefully since schools are/will be out soon you’ll be able to figure it out. If you feel something isn’t safe or healthy going on there, make a call.

3 Likes

You should absolutely not provide food. That’s his job. But I don’t see why they can’t bring their electronics. If they have bed bugs I would NOT allow them their, that worse than lice and you will have to do expensive treatments to get rid of them.

2 Likes

It depends. I think if he is able to buy cigarettes, alcohol, unnecessary things for the people in his household then yes he should provide all of that. But if he doesn’t have the funds then I would make sure my kids had the things they needed. When my kids would go to their dad’s house they brought their own clothes and electronics for the weekend. One weekend one of mine had a sore throat so I sent a large bag of popsicles because I didn’t know if they had any. They always had food there for them but if they wouldn’t of had food I would of been happy to make sure my kids ate during their weekend. The visits didn’t last long and they went years without seeing their dad (not by my choice) So I will tell you this much…if your kids are lucky enough to have their dad seeing them regularly then just let it be. I would of given anything to have this “issue” because it would of meant that visitations took place. My point is as much as you’re aggravated with the situation, if you look at the bigger picture, you’re really blessed.

3 Likes

If they come back all the time with lice. You can stop them from visiting him. I had the same issue with my ex and my lawyer says it’s a form of neglect. He should be providing for them. I don’t send anything when my daughter goes to her dads. If it continues I would speak to a lawyer and call for a welfare check cause he should be providing for his kids at his house.

3 Likes

I feel like every situation is unique. I personally feel like if he needs to borrow a car seat that that’s totally acceptable as long as it’s not being disrespected. As some other women that said it needs to come back in the same condition if not better. If it’s been an ongoing issue for years in years where you constantly had to provide food and everything that your child needs when going there I would definitely consider being a problem. But if this is his first time or even in the last year he’s needed you to provide food or clothing I would do it for the sole Benefit of your children. I feel like I have a pretty uncommon opinion about the lice, perhaps try to help him treat it? I don’t know if thats something you would be willing to do. I feel like you’re in a hard spot and no matter what choice you make it will be for the protection and safety of your kids. Good luck mama

2 Likes

He should have everything the kids need at his house, but in real life that may not be possible. Whatever you can do to work together is always better for the kids! But when lice is involved, it can be a very hard problem to solve immediately. Everything has to be washed that the kids cime in contact with! This may be a very frustrating time for everyone involved! Its bad enough to have lice, but now 2 separate homes have to be done! Wishing you the best. It might be a while before this has gotten cleared up .

He definitely should have his own atuff for their house, but some times it’s hard even working a full time job. Maybe figure out if he’s actually unable to afford the children’s stuff or if it’s just a lack of responsibility on his end. I’ve seen it both ways. As for the bug issue, just tell them the longer they’re in denial about the bugs, the worse the issue gets. It’s not a finger point of who did it, it’s a let’s worl together and get rid of the shit. Then if it comes back after mutually working together, thhheeennnn everyone needs to figure out where it’s coning from. We’ve delt with lice 3-4 times in 1 school year and we bith worked together and the issue got solved every time and no fingers were pointed. I know you said you have had it more than once, but see if what I said works by telling them there’s no need to point fingers because it just needs to be taken care of. Definitely don’t get the states involved if you can work this out on your own. That shit can be brutal for some people and I don’t mean that in “they’re doing bad and got caught” I’m talking about the ones who pick on people when they’re really not doing anything wrong.

I always bought stuff for my house when my boyfriend kids came over! Clothes, games systems, and when I picked them up I always asked what they would like to do and eat while they were at the house so we stop by food lion and I let them pick out whatever they wanted to eat and snack on :woman_shrugging: when they were littler I had two booster seats and if I had my little cousin that day also I just ask if I could borrow an extra booster seat either from my aunt or my bf kids mom. Wasn’t a big deal
And they should take care of the lice situation!!! Smh

1 Like

Yes he needs to provide at his home. Especially food and carseats. Now if he’s paying a ungodly amount of child support then i would help by packing diapers/clothes bc child support is for child’s needs however he would also need to pull his weight to. And if he isn’t paying anything well then tell him to kick rocks. As for the lice and impetigo my kids wouldnt be going back until it was cleared up. But also with lice sometimes its a battle to get rid of I battled it for 6 months before it was out of my house and it was not from lack of trying but the impetigo inwould blocking into that

At some point yeah they need brand new car seats . But do you really trust them?

Are you seriously asking for answers to these questions on FB, good lord woman.

3 Likes

Just call for a welfare check tbh. Seems like this has been going on for awhile. Also you cannot stop visitation unless it’s not court ordered because if you do I guarantee your ex n his old woman will file contempt of court against you for withholding the child from your ex so don’t withhold the visits.

4 Likes

They’re supposed to have everything for her when she visits and if she takes anything with her like clothes or toys, she’s supposed to come back with them.

3 Likes

If finacaly stable to be taken ththekids then yes he should hhave everything and not havehave o get it from un

1 Like

The way I look at it is the dad is only a part time parent, so anything like car seats and clothes can be sent back and forth, kids grow so fast it does not make sense to keep a full set of clothes at a place the kid is only there a few days a month. Car seats can be expensive and they are not that hard to take out and put back in, so yes that could be shared it is not like you need it when he has the kids. As far as lice goes, take them to be checked out before a visit by a doctor or health department, and get written proof they are lice free and checked again when they come back. Get some literature on lice and how to check the home and get ride of them and give it to the father. Call for a welfare check while the kids are there. As far as electronics why does a young child need electronics for a short visit?

2 Likes

He should have everything that the children need. The only things that the children or you should pack are personal items ( the lovey they sleep with, medications if required, possibly electronics because those are quite personalized) . The transition from house to the other seemless.
If there is any question about infestation of any kind then visits cease until addressed successfully in being irradiated.
If his child support isn’t paid in full and up to date then visitation ceases.
He is required to have enough food for 3meals per day and 3 snacks per day per child according to the food groups and serving sizes laid out by whatever health authority for where you live ( here it’s "Canada’s Food Giude “) .
Lastly, almost no communication is ever necessary other than between the 2 parents ( new partners of either party = no) .
There are free " co- parenting” apps for even easier communication for matters of only the children ( which any communication between the 2 should be about and only about) and allows for a clear and concise record which is admissible in family court should that become necessary.

3 Likes

I don’t see an issue with sending car seats. But clothes and food he should have.

1 Like

So with my oldest daughter. Everytime I sent her to her dad I used to send her with food for her. Food that she would eat, snacks, drink etc. I always sent her with clothes, shoes socks and underwear. What ever she needed I sent. Only because I knew her dad, who was staying with his parent couldnt afford to do so. I always made sure she was good and now that he is back on his feet, I dont have to do any of that. It’s all about picking you battles and having a good balance :woman_shrugging: I also had a lice issue with her when she was going their every single time she would come home, she was infested. I would take it out everytime and send the stuff there to keep it out if she got it again. The lice wasnt coming from her dads house, but a family members and once I cut my daughters long Hair short, to be able to manage it more he decided to stop taking her around those family members until they took care of their problem. You have to work with them not against them

16 Likes

They should have everything that the child needs. They can’t expect you to send it all with them every time they go.

2 Likes

Sounds like you need to hire an attorney

3 Likes

Definitely dont send anything, if he cant provide the essentials then he shouldn’t be keeping them for extended periods of time. And for the lice, that is reasonable grounds to end the visits. But if the visits were established through the court already, then be be careful because if you change it without consent of the court than he could file for contempt. If youre letting them visit out of the kindness of your heart, then by all means pull the plug if you feel its necessary.

3 Likes

I’d ask for a CPS visit. There is nothing wrong in wanting to protect your kids!

2 Likes

I send things over to my boys dads if my boy wants to take them. Sometimes I never see them again some times they get ruined. But its my sons choice he knows something could happen. If he needs a pair of shoes or something over there then yea I send them. If he’s out grown his socks over there and I have extras I send them. Co parenting isn’t always as black and white as people think. But it is not your responsibility to make sure he has food and electronics for his house. That’s insane. And bugs are gross, if the other girl is blaming you she probably knows her house isn’t clean.

1 Like

I wouldn’t be sending them with anything other than the clothes on their backs, he should be providing everything whilst in his care, not you!
And as for bugs and stuff if it happens everytime they go i wouldn’t be allowing them to go xx

2 Likes

I wouldn’t have a problem sending car seats and electronics back and forth since the belong to the children they should go with the children…
The lice is a different story, I would withhold visits until they deal with it

2 Likes

If head lice is not retreated in 7 days they will continue the nuts hatch every 7 days and the only ones that suffer though this is the kids being kept away from either parent. I send my car seat that way I know kids are safe in car. As long as there stuff comes back then I wouldn’t mind.

3 Likes

Each household needs the necessities of the children. You seem to be well equipped with all their needs at home and it is their dad’s responsibility to do the same for them at his home that is not your responsibility to maintain both homes for your beloved children. If the head lice situation has been going on for sometime then for the safety and welfare of your children’s health yes I would highly recommend that you contact the courts and explain the situation at hand and see if they can request welfare checks be done on his dwelling before allowing the children to return. There shouldn’t be an issue if you go to the court in which custody/visitation was set up through and most are very understanding in circumstances of this sort bc they want nothing but the best for the children. It’s not doing anything bad towards their father it’s just being a very cautious and loving mother doing her motherly duties watching out for her children at all costs. Good luck sweetie and God Bless you all.

1 Like

I wouldn’t be allowing my children to go back till they can prove the lice are gone!!! You can withhold visits on grounds that you are protecting your children!

He should have clothes, extra pair of shoes, food, and a few toys at his house for when his kids visit. When you send them back put on the clothes they came home in on their last visit. Yes they need to take care of the lice problem. It’s hard work you have to clean everything even car seats.

Tea tree oil in their hair :raised_hands:t2: we had the same issues and a slow dryer they hate the oil and normally won’t touch the stuff

If u continue to allow ur children to go over there if u feel like their bein neglected ur unfit too

7 Likes

If you can provide then why can’t their father??

3 Likes

No. It doesn’t matter how often he has them. He needs to be prepared and have what he needs when they come over. It’s not a good idea to share items because alot of time’s things go missing. My son’s dad has trouble sending clothes and shoes back so I followed the example my boyfriend and I do for his kids. Each parent brings clothes at pick up and change before they leave the house. Everything including socks and underwear. That way no one can accuse the other of stealing because their mom would keep their nice shoes and things we bought them and never send them back. And each parent needs to have their own carseats and anything else. If the dad is in a wreck and the seat needs to be replaced and he decides he doesnt wanna do it then it comes out of the mom’s pocket. Some parents can’t afford to replace things for both households. You do need to call for a welfare check to see about the situation your kids are living in. My bonus kids came to us with ringworm one day and we did what we could to help it go away, and they kept coming back with it. She tried to accuse us of giving it to them, (which was definitely NOT the case because my kids would have it if it was coming off my cat) and said I wasn’t taking care of it but both my bonus kids told me she wasn’t putting any cream on it or anything. So. If you feel they aren’t being cared for adequately then I’d tell him he can’t take them till he steps up.

1 Like

I would certainly call cps and have them check out there environment where they are staying and make a complaint on the head lice etc . As far as sending things they need , well that depends what it states in your court orders about the kids . Always follow court orders , and never use the children to hurt the other parent . It is very wrong

5 Likes

Hoollllly CRAP!!! You can walk by someone and catch lice, over and over. Check their heads with dad, going and coming. Don’t deal with the girlfriend, she not your problem. Let the kids take what they want but make sure it comes back. Keep peace so you can know what’s going on while their with the dad. Save the Drama for the real problems

5 Likes

The courts told my daughter that since she had primary custody & child support that she needed to provide car seat, clothes, shoes, diapers, wipes, bottles, toys, & any snacks or drinks her son liked.

Dad was responsible for meals, entertainment, & a bed if child stayed overnight.

4 Likes

They are your babies… its not about him… send them with what they need if he doesn’t have it … jeez.

1 Like

Do what you have to do to keep your kids safe. Tell the ex mix same amount of rubbing alcohol and white vinegar ina bowl saturate their hair completely and tie a plastic bag on their head leave on for 30 minutes then spray their house down with lice spray this will help with that problem I had gotten custody of a friends 6 kids they were infested bad and regular lice shampoo was not killing them an older lady abt 70 yrs old told me abt the vinegar alcohol and bag I tried it and it worked. Now on to the next problems if he’s wanting visitation he should have clothes food toys everything they need when they are there if not me personally I wouldn’t let them go there until he did have it. Sorry for long post thought it might help

2 Likes

Cos he should if he has them for the weekend then he should provide food etc, not so much clothes I mean they can take a bag but anything above that yes