I have a question; I’d like to get some advice on a friend of mine. She met this great guy just over a year ago; she hasn’t really had the greatest life or great luck with men previously. She asked me what I thought about her situation, and I really don’t know what to tell her. I have seen a lot of great advice stuff on this page and thought I’d ask here for her. My friend, let’s just call her Emily, well she met her now-fiancé, yes fiancé and she’s really happy that she’s finally getting the chance to be happy with this great guy let’s call him James. So she told me that James proposed to her just after six months of dating and she thought it was a little fast, but she feels something for him she never felt before. There’s a twist, though; she doesn’t know if she’s really ready to get married or if she’s just liking the idea of being with someone and not being alone. The question is, should she really marry this guy that she’s only known over a year and was only dating for six months, or should she get to know him more and see how things go and then decide if she thinks it’s the right thing to do? They set a date for Valentine’s day 2022
Sounds like she is just doing it so she isn’t alone, so I don’t think so
My sister was engaged after 6 weeks. Been married 37 years
When you know, you know. I knew I’d marry my husband probably within 2 months of dating. We did wait almost 3 year to get married though.
I married my husband 6 months of knowing him and it’s been the best 12 years of my life.
It could go either way, honestly.
Personally, I’d say stay engaged awhile and try it out before getting married
Is your friend you lmfao
Been with my guy 14 years still not married it a piece of paper. Wait don’t jump into nothing
At least the wedding date is awhile off, hopefully they’ll will get to know each other better .
Dated for 3years and been married 45years
I started dating my husband in August. We got married the end of September. We are now currently pregnant with our second baby together and couldn’t be happier! We just knew that we had finally found the one we wanted to spend forever with!
Sometimes you just know!
Dont do it, i got engaged to a guy once after 6months it was the worst 4 years of my life after that.
I was engaged by the 1st year , married by year and a 1/2 and have been married now for almost 21 years.
I got engaged to my husband after 2 and weeks if dating. We been together 9 yrs.
That’s a year engagement- she will know what she needs to know by then —- and can act accordingly
I would tell her to follow her gut. I’ve been married twice. First time, we were together 4 years before we got married, and it failed a year later. My gut told me it wouldn’t last but I went for it anyway. My second marriage, we got engaged within 7 months, married 11 days before our 1 year anniversary. We will be celebrating 7 years together, 6 years married, next month. We just welcomed our second child
I met my hubs in 06 & knew I would marry him. I just knew.
We started dating in Nov 07. Married in Feb 08.
We’ve been married 13yrs.
That said, ppl have to make their own mistakes & this may not be one. The wedding is almost a yr out so if it’s not right, she’ll figure that out.
If you’re her friend, talk to her about your concerns & why. Don’t be judgy about it just speak from your heart. Remember, you can be concerned & still be on her side.
Was engaged 8 weeks after 1st date, was married 7 months later. Married now 36 years and still going, 2 kids and 5 grandkids.
I was with my now husband for a month before we got serious…26 years and three kids later. Still happy as ever
Got engaged to my husband 3 months after meeting, Married after 11 mths together. We are celebrating our 15th Wedding anniversary this summer
My husband and I moved in together 3 days after our 1st date, we spent those 3 days together before moving in. I would have never thought I would do something like that but here we are married 17yrs and 4 kids later. I can’t even explain it but we just knew.
My husband proposed to me 2 months after we met, and we’ve been happily married + 2 kids, for 17 years now…
Got engaged after 3 months of dating, married 6 months after that. So together 9 months when we got married. We’ll be celebrating 20 years at the end of next month and 3 beautiful daughters.
I was with my husband for 2 months when we moved in together and engaged at a year. Timings different for every relationship, some people are together 10 years and get divorced after a year of marriage and some know eachother for a couple months and are together forever
Met my husband in April, moved in with each other in December (same year), married in May (following year)… Everyone said “we are crazy”, next week we celebrate our 29th Wedding Anniversary! On our 14th Anniversary we became parents to our only child. I thank God for the life and family he has given me. It hasn’t always been easy but that’s what makes it us. Only you know what works for you two!
She said so herself she doesn’t know if she’s ready for marriage or if she’s liking the idea of being with someone and not being alone. Sounds like she really doesn’t want to do it but is scared of being alone. Marriage is a huge step, the fact that she is even acknowledging the fact that the only reason she might want to marry him is because she doesn’t want to end up alone is her answer. I feel like she wouldn’t be asking herself these questions if she knew she was 100 percent ready for marriage.
My husband and I got married after four months and we’ve been together four years, going on three kids and we’re happy. No one else was, but honestly it’s no one else’s business
Marriage has a 50% success rate anyways. If she wants to get married just support her - unless there is a valid reason why she shouldn’t (abuse). If it makes her happy let her be happy.
Look at Cassie, she dated P. DIDDY for 10 years with nothing to show. Then she meets a new guy, is engaged and had a baby on the way within a year. Every walk is different
My parents knew each other 2 months before they got engaged. They were married until death did part.
My husband proposed after 6 months of knowing each other. We then waited 4 years to get married, but we both just knew that we were supposed to be together. We’ve been together 9 years this year, married 5 years and have added 2 kids. When you know, you know. If she’s happy, let her be happy.
I dont think it’s really your call to make … let them be and dont get too invest in other peoples relationships close friend or not that’s her call to make. Shes an adult .
You dont really know a person until you have lived with them for 2 years so I would say to wait, but it’s her decision not yours or mine
I was with my now husband a month before we got engaged . Mairred 45 years
My husband and i moved in together after 1 month. He have been married 6 years and i love him soo much
I feel like it’s none of your business if they’re happy. I get you’re worried but ultimately it’s their life and their decision. Plenty of long happy marriages followed a brief courtship. Lots of miserable failed marriages took their sweet time. There’s no true formula for a happy relationship. I’m not advocating to rush into anything by any means, but every situation is unique which means you could be surprised and they might last. And if they don’t last, that’s even worse cause that makes you the “I told you so” guy. Just support your friend and take the relationship as it comes. If it ends, be there for her. If it doesn’t, awesome.
Yes me n my husband did we met over airg talked 3 days straight on fone even on chargers slept woke up still on phone then 3 days later he moved in with me and we got married 3 mo later the day before we married we found out we was pregnant we have 5 kids together and august 3rd will be our 10th wedding anniversary we still learning about eachother to this day
I dated someone for 6 years and never felt right about moving forward with marriage. Along came my now husband (5 years). We dated for 2 months, got engaged, then got married the following month
What’s the money situation do they both have about the same amount of money or?
And if she’s not really sure then it’s probably not a good idea
I was friends work my ex husband for 12 years before we started dating, I thought I knew him, I did not know about his history of beating women I did not know about his alcohol abuse. I meet my current guy within 3 month we were dating within another 2 months after that we knew we wanted to spend our life together. You can’t judge a relationship’s future based on how long ago the couple met.
Some people get married after they just start dating and have a long and happy marriage. And others who have dated for years end up getting a divorce. Who knows what will happen but only she knows how she really feels. You can’t tell her what she should do, that is something she has to decide for herself.
If he’s rushing her, take that as a warning. If he truly loves her, he’ll wait until she’s ready. Tell her to go with her gut.
It’s her choice. I know plenty of older people who married after a week and are still married 50 yrs later
I think it’s none of your business.
I know a couple who was married after knowing each other 2 weeks still going strong 21 years later i know a couple who were together 10 years got married and were divorced within 2 u just never know sometimes follow ur heart but do it wisely
My parents were married in under 6 months of meeting. My husband and I had known each other for 2 years but only dated 2 months before moving in together, engaged in 6 months and then got married at a year been married 5 years with 3 beautiful babies and couldn’t be happier
I was only with my husband for 6 months before we got married, We’ve been married 12 1/2 years!!
My hubby proposed after 6 months but we didnt get married until 2 years later. We moved in together during that time and were still very much in love on our wedding day!
Okay… I think she already knows the answer to this question but is too afraid to say something in case he takes it the wrong way. My husband and I got married quickly after reuniting after like 7 year break but we knew each other for a long time. I highly advise living together for a while and learning about each other before you fuse two people together. Plus you want to have family support and it may be harder to get it if you rush into it. Tell her to pump the brakes. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Have a long engagement
Love is always worth sacrifice…worst thing to happen is it does not work…but if it does❤️
Met my husband was engaged and married 6months to the day almost that we met and this November 11th will make 15 years together just depends on the people I guess
I dated my hubby for 3. Months… married just recently lost him after 47 years together. Any doubts doesn’t sound good to me.
coming from experience very bad idea
My husband proposed like a few months after we first met, we married in his way (Islamic) had our first baby the year after, then planned our wedding and I had our second baby 4 weeks before we got married. Been married now over 4 years and together 9. Sometimes it works, there is no time span on life
My husband proposed to me just 12 days after we met. we married a year later we are happily married for 13 years.
Here is the thing, it could go either way. No one really knows. I know people who have dated for a decade, got engaged and ended up breaking up in the worst way. More importantly, your friend shouldn’t be looking to you to make the decision for her.
I know several couples who got married after a few weeks/months of knowing eachother that are still together 20+ years later. I also know couples who knew eachother for years, got married and divorced within a few years
She needs to wait. It’s too soon. I had two very long relationships both. 8 years and And the first guy became a jerk and controlling after 4 years l. And the second guy kept wanting to rush it and after 4 years he became very abusive to the point I was afraid to leave cuz he threaten to hurt me if I ever did. Soni stayed another 4 years out of fear. So my point is you don’t know what love is that soon. In my experience. And my bf now we been dating for 4 years but I have known him for 18 years and we’re happy and in love. I fell in love with him after a year of dating him so it took me 15 years to fall in love with him. And my long term relationship I wasn’t in love I was just dating to have someone
A year is plenty of time and not getting married until 2022 will make it 2 years
Don’t know why people can’t just take their time? I understand the impatience of it because it’s all new and fun but people shouldn’t get so many deep and heavy emotions for someone right away. That’s why divorces and relationships in general normally don’t last long. No one likes to be a lone but they shouldn’t rush things either… BTW, my daughters name is Emily and my oldest sons name is James lol. I do have three kids. I’m glad there wasn’t a Brandon mentioned in this lol.
I knew I was going to marry my husband 2 weeks after meeting him. We have been married almost 12 years and together 14.
Remind her that marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. If they can commit to that and they love and respect each other then God Bless them!
Husband and I dated 6months into out relationship. Got married 1 year after we started dating and been together for 13 years. And we now have 3 beautiful kids.
I knew after a month with my honey we are going to be together for ever 4 years strong 2 kids later not married just because of taxes
She met him a year ago not yesterday. Tell her congratulations and wish her luck. They’re are people who been together for years got married and it didn’t last a year. They’re are also people who were only together a few months and their marriage lasted years. Depends on the couple
I got engaged after 2 weeks of meeting my now husband. We have been together 13 years this year married for 11 and have a house and 2 beautiful boys and I couldn’t be happier!!
I moved in with my husband after a month of dating. 10 years and 3 kids later. Every relationship is different and unique. She definitely needs to decide if she wants to marry him but a prolonged engagement is a good alternative while she figures it out!
By the time they get married it will be 2 years. But either way I think you should…
Its her life let her make her own decisions.
It’s her choice and by the time they get married they’ll have another year accounted for. My mom remarried after dating this guy for about 4 and a half months. I thought it was too soon but she’s gonna live her life the way she wants to.
My parents married 6 months after dating and have been married over 35 years.
If she’s genuinely happy then tell her you’re happy for her and want her to have the best in life and marriage.
I only knew my husband 6 months and I was only 18 when we got married. 9 years next month. While my friends who dated their husbands all through school and then after school got married years later are divorcing etc. Sometimes you just know. Say congratulations and focus on your own life
13 years ago I met a man was wirh him 1 year and got married im 57 now I don’t really see a problem unless there red flags showing
My dad wanted to marry y mum after 3 months but got told to wait for a year before getting engaged…they were together 58 years and married 55 years
From what you have said their relationship will be least 2 years together. by then they both should know if its for real or not…just wish lots of love and happiness…as old sayings go only time will tell…
Well I’ve known some people to get married that fast and be good…but if she isn’t sure if she’s agreeing to avoid being alone she needs to tell him
There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement. Don’t marry for the wedding. Marry for the lifetime love and respect. However. Sometimes when you know. You know. My grandparents were married almost 40 years. Then my grandfather passed. They met in a bar. He was the bartender my gramma ordered a sandwich. They both knew right then and there. That they would be it for each other. 6 months later they were married. Thee love was that of fairytales. Sounds corner. But it does happen. I was friends with my husband 4 years before we got together. We had loss contact for about a year. We reunited by chance, and he came to visit me that same night. And never left. That was almost 17 years ago. Granted we knew each other before. Not in that way. I knew a week after reuniting with him. That he would be the man I spent the rest of my life with. I love him more now, then I did then. Just tell your friend that marriage is hard. And it won’t always feel this way. To keep that kind of passion, excitement, and “honeymoon” phase takes commitment and work. Stay engaged for a while. Don’t just marry for the title, and the party. Marry for the lifetime of love that takes place.
Uhmmm, I met my husband October 2007, proposed to me April 2008 got married September 2008. Everything within a year. And guess what? We’ve been happily married for 12 yrs going on 13yrs this September and we have 2 wonderful kids together (6 & 5). Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Well her wedding is set for 2022 over a year from now. So they will be together over two yrs by then. In my opinion not to soon. Alot can happen in a yr. Be happy for her being happy and don’t piss in her cheerios
I met my hubby on the 27/01/98.
Got engaged 13/06/98
Got married 10/10/98. We will be celebrating 23yrs of marriage this October. I think it depends on the people involved. Marriage is continuously working at it from both sides.
It can Work or not…
I thought u said she just meet him she knew him over a year. If she questioning it then she should get our of the relationship
When I think of just meet like recently in the last month I knew someone who got married 2 days of know someone and no that didn’t last but she’s known him over a year if she said it’s too fast and she not ready to get married that When it time to move on
I married my husband after first meeting him 6 months earlier. Oh during 5 of those months we were 650 miles apart. We are celebrating our 32 anniversary in July and couldn’t be more in love
A lot of it depends on their life experience. How old are they? Are they college educated? Are they in a very strict religion? Have either of them been married before? These things statistically make a difference on how likely they are to last. Also, how well do they communicate? How do they handle their problems? Is one of them always bending to the other? Is one of them controlling? You’ll hear plenty of stories of people who dated for 6 months, got engaged and married within the year. That doesn’t mean anything.
It’s already been a year, and it will be almost 2 by the time they marry… that’s may be plenty of time to know it’s right if they are on their 3rd serious relationship and pushing 30. It may not be enough time, though, if they are 19 or 22 and this is their first love. It just depends on so many factors. There’s not enough info. All of these people’s examples are pretty meaningless as every couple is different.
Just give it time. It’s easy to fall in and out the honeymoon stage. Love and marriage is hard enough. She has until next year to decide. Just give it time.
She will have been with him like a year and a half before they get married, I’m sure she will know for sure by then.
My inlaws met in November/December and were married by May. They’ve been married 32 years this weekend.
Sometimes it’s just meant to be. However if your friend has reservations about actually getting married, she should absolutely discuss it with her partner.
If she thinks it’s to fast she should tell him how she feels and that she would like to wait, perhaps suggest a 2 year engagement from when she speaks to him and then after 2 years if they both feel marriage is what they want then plan the wedding after that 2 years.
Met my husband 10-2001 started dating in 12-2001 was married 2-28-2002 going on 20 years of marriage!! Time stops nothing if they are both committed to each other!
Look up covert narcissism. She should tell her fiancé that she wants to wait. Literally just kinda put the brakes on everything. People can manipulate you and emotionally abuse you little by little and before you know it 3 years have gone by and you don’t recognize yourself. I thought the guy I met was honest and would treat me right. Just see if there are any real red flags. Tell her you’re concerned for her well-being now and in the future and you’ll always support her no matter what. And if she doesn’t listen to you still be there. And if he does get abusive then don’t hate on him. It’ll just make her defensive and shut you out. Just be her safe place so you know she’ll always have an option. Becoming so serious is a red flag. Ppl with pathological narcissist disorder try and love bomb you and mirror who you are find out all your secrets and what makes you you and when they know they have you hooked they devalue you, start fights, sabotage things for you including good events. Like if you had a wonderful day with them and you say how happy you are and then the next day you have to work or go somewhere. They’ll bring you down a peg by shutting your alarm off or something. I was going on a trip with my family and I couldn’t find my license all of a sudden. I got a new one. A little later after I found my license where I definitely looked thoroughly. And you won’t know they’re literally evil until it’s too late. When you go from having such a loving person to someone slowly becoming a trickster and a bully it messes with your head. He says one thing and does another. I just really hope this man your friend loves also truly loves her. Always focus on your friend and her well being and never give up on her and she’ll be better for it. She’s already so lucky to have you. Also she clearly has doubts and if she was to marry this person she should be able to share this with them. So maybe suggest that and see how he responds. If he doesn’t care about how she feels and tries to convince her to feel another way then that’s gaslighting. A person you marry should always put the persons wants needs and boundaries as a priority over their own selfishness
My fiance says he knew he was going to marry me the day he met me. And I was in a relationship at the time. Here we are 4 years later planning a wedding. If she was really mature and felt even a glimmer of doubt she wouldn’t and shouldn’t have said yes. That’s just wrong.
Im confused are you jealous
My husband and I knew each other for years, but we started dating in October of 2018, engaged March of 2019, and married in October of 2019, so it could work… we been married almost 2 years now and its still the best decision I’ve ever made…
Met my hubby in the end of 2007 engaged early 2008 married in 2010. We will celebrate 11 years of marriage this May! Hope it works out for your friend!
I knew I wanted to marry my SO within a month of meeting each other. We both did. Here we are 4 years later… Sometimes you just know. Although we never rushed the actual walking down the isle part. We’re still planning our wedding and don’t actually know when it will be. No rush to sign a piece of paperwork for us because we’ve been married previously and don’t really see the need to rush. We only have forever to figure it out lol. We’re thinking about getting married on the USS Enterprise-1701 from Star Trek TNG one of these days.
Mind your own business
My grandparents were only together a couple of months before they got married. She was engaged to someone else when he asked her out on a date. They were together for over 50 years until he passed away. Just be a good friend, wish for the best, and if it doesn’t work out be there for her.
If they’ve been together over a year, they didn’t just meet.